Other people handling your dolls

>< That would be the most HORRIBLE crossover slash EVER... >< roflmao Sorry it's just the way you wrote that made that the first thing I thought.

 

*mad fits of giggles* Oh no, you're making it worse! >.< Aiiieee...

 

It is hard when you are young I know, but try to focus on what you think of others, instead of worrying what other think of you. Since she obviously treats you badly, tell yourself, it doesn't matter at all what she thinks.
The more confident you are the more respect she will give you
That is a trick I do and it helps me be more confident

 

Sounds like she doesn't really give a damn about your feelings, so why should you give a toss about hers? You don't need to give reasons; Spider is your doll and no-one else's. I find a firm "No" works just fine for me, together with a pointed look indicating that the matter isn't for discussion. If someone tries to turn it into one, they can argue with my back because that's all they're going to see as I walk away.

Life's too short to waste breath and consideration on someone who doesn't spare it on you.

 

Polite way to say 'no'?
"No."
What's impolite about "No"? Nothing. Not a thing. There is nothing not nice about saying 'no', so just get that out of your head. The sooner you do, the happier you'll be. Don't give an explanation with the 'no', especially to this person. An explanation just suggests that the answer is negotiable. It's not negotiable, so don't even suggest that it is. If they ask again, say 'no' again. Repeat as necessary.

Seriously, what's the absolute worst that can happen? "Oh, Quietlyhonestly is such a brat. She won't let anyone touch her doll. Don't even bother to ask." You don't want people asking, so that's a good thing. Do you really think your friends would dump you just because you wouldn't let someone/anyone hold your doll? If not, who cares beyond that? If so, these people aren't your friends and you don't need them.

 

You could always lie at the exact moment they want to hold them - get a look on your face and graon i need to use the bathroom bye. or maybe just say.

No.

sometimes the truth is best.

 

Welll when I say, how much my doll is worth, most people don't want to hold her ^^; But I would never ever give her to someone I don't trust. A few months ago I handed her to a girl, I almost didn't knew, because she said, she would take her down with some other dolls to make some photos. some hours later (some awfull hours without her!) I asked her, where she was, and she said, she didn't knew! I was sooooo scared that something should have happened to her, that I jst huged her sooo tight when I found her again! I'll never give her to someone now, without me being there! I'll just say no. It can be hard sometimes, I know that, but she is so important to me. and if you didn't like the girl anyways why would you care about what she thinks?

 

well, whatever you do, make sure she doesn't notice you're uncomfortable with her holding your doll! she'll try to hurt your sweetie when she notices that..to people like that, dolls(or anything with emotional value)are just another thing that they can use to hurt you with...

You could just say that these dolls are a very special kind of doll, and that they are breakable when you don't know how to handle them, and therefore you only let her be held by doll people..that's what I do, after I gave in and let someone hold Vasiley and she tried to steal him..only my friends who know about bjd and other doll people are holding my darlings now ^^ and even then, I'm always staying very close to them..

if she is offended by that(not that you should care because she sounds like a brat..) you can always say it's nothing personal, it's just that she's not a doll person and could break your doll without intending/noticing, just because she doesn't know how the doll works..

 

well, my take on it is it doesn't hurt to be polite, even to people that don't deserve it, no need to lower yourself to their level after all. but "i'm sorry, but i'd prefer not to" should suffice. if you feel like explaining that she's very delicate and one-of-a-kind then you can. or not "she doesn't like to be held" is a good one too.

 

so sad about it...well, I've been wondering about this too...my fren wanna touch it mostly i will say, err, can but not for long cause I scare if she gets dirty that will be the worst part of cleaning her...haha...but i know its really hard to tell out as it might hurt ppls feeling but..sometimes, this is called protect...haha

 

I think it's perfectly reasonable to just say "I'm sorry - I'd rather you didn't." If you feel like you need to justify it (cause otherwise, they just don't leave you alone), you can use things like the fact that they get dirty, or can be broken, or price, as above. *grins* personally, I like the temperamental version, though ^^ The truth is, there are some dolls that would be comfortable/you'd be comfortable with being held by other people - and some dolls...you just wouldn't.

It's also perfectly reasonable to pick and choose who you'd allow to touch them - they're like a part of your imagination made reality - you don't want just anybody fiddling with that!

 

Ohh, I dunno, I'm a big fan of the Nac Mac Feegle myself... ach! crivens! ye scunner! :cow

Anyway, everyone is very very right that all you need to say is No, she was very expensive or "I don't feel comfortable letting other people hold her." If you wanted to be clever, yep, I'd say something like "she doesn't like other people holding her" or you could always opt for really weird and say in a loud stage whisper, "I would but I can't find my pocketknife and I think SHE HAS IT IN HER BOOT" or something. tee.

I wouldn't be impolite - as Jrock said, no need to lower yourself to her level, then at least she can't claim you were rude to her.

 

Actually I think it is good you let her hold Spider- nothing happened right. This may go a little way toward helping your friendship, letting it get back to what it was. I certainly would never let her know that it bothered you, or she may use it against you. And if she does find out, and is in catty mood, she will hurt your doll. So I would not get in that situation again. I am assuming you are in high school, and girls are at "that" age. If you do bring SPider to school again, avoid her, or excuse yoursself, but to someone like this the repercussions of saying "No" could be severe.

 

This girl sounds totally jealous of you. At least, that's my take on her - trying to destroy your life, making friends with your friends, and trying to be a part of your group even though she's made it clear she dislikes you...plain old jealousy! If she can't have it, neither should you sort of a thing.

About saying no...just say "No." If she asks again, she is the one being impolite, not you. And if it happens again and she says "Well last time..." simply tell her "I've had bad experiences with people holding her in the past, and so I'd rather not allow anyone to hold her." Or just say "I only let people I trust hold her, and based on past experience I'd rather you didn't." Though my personal favorite to the "Well, last time..." or "Why not?" is "I said 'NO'. Do I need to look that up for you?"

 

Exactly.

All you need to say is something like, "Sorry, but I'd rather not. She's heavier than she looks and kind-of fragile." People understand that kind of thing. Most of them have had a parent or someone tell them "Don't touch that. You'll break it." at some point in their lives.

'Breakable' is a concept they can relate to, so it doesn't require a lot of explaining or justification.

 

Tell her if she wants to be nice to you for a month and think only positive thoughts about you you will let her hold her than after you feel she lived up to your request. F...er I want to kick her ass right now.

Short way of saying the above "If I knew you better I would". This is almost like saying YES! LOL but its a NO
This answer might give her some reflection on how she treats you! if she comes back at you will Your nasty or you suck or something. Say "well look at it this way would you let me hold a fragile thing that you really like?" If she says yes then ask her to meet you on the weekend with it LOL. You might actually be able to get on with her when she is not in school.

I would NOT make an excuse, like she is expensive, heavy, fragile. Nasty types love that kind of thing and it will give her fuel to jump on. Don't say sorry either makes you look like a whimp, IF its a tough school.

I really know how you feel having suffered in a very rough school. My brother who is a big tough guy actually says he is glad he never went to that school! can give you some idea how bad it was.

Now I look back I guess I wish I had taken the pain more and just said what I thought!! I know you might not be able to do it.

I guess I would NOT take my doll to school and take some photos with me instead.

 

I have the exact same problem. I've never been able to just 'say no' to someone because I don't want to hurt them or seem mean.

Just say, "Um, no. Not now." or "I would rather you just looked...I don't want something to happen to her."

Sometimes, no is all you have to say...don't be intimidated by this girl! That sucks that she's been that mean to you...but don't let it get to you, because then she wins. Ignore it, and it will go away.

Lara

 

just say no
really she has no right to assume she can just hold on your possesions, so pointing that out is perfectly normal

I would never let anyone hold my dolls except for other doll people or close friends

and I don't think it's good to say your girl is fragile, as if she really hates you she will use that knowledge, and will try and break your little girl

 

I am the same way. I often go out of my way to be nice to people, even if they aren't very nice to me. I think in this case, the previously stated examples would work. If someone asks and you're not comfortable with it, then the best bet is to just say "I'm sorry, but this doll would cost several hundred dollars to replace, so I really prefer to not let anyone handle it." I've had to say that before. IF someone has pressed the issue, I just explained that if anything happened to doll, then as long as I was the only one holding it, I was the only person I could get mad at.

Generally the price will scare people (though becareful and don't leave your little one alone if you go spouting off about the cost... you dont want someone to steal them!!!).

 

If people already think you're slightly crazy, then just give her the weirdest look you can manage and say that Spider just told you she doesn't like nasty people touching her... and then tell her she'd better keep her paws off or else Spider will come and get her during the night, like in Chuckie.
That'll get her to leave you alone.. I know because I've done this myself.

Or just telling her that you don't want anyone holding Spider works well too.