Other people handling your dolls

aye! Apparently this kind of thing happens to everyone. While I really don't care if people who have bjds, or even just know enoug about them touch Inanna (I know they'll be careful), it's the people who don't have any clue that it bugs me.

I actually did a presentation for my Database Mgmt class last week and Inanna was my prop. Everyone was very interested in her and things went very smoothly. It was after the class while I was up front talking to my prof. that one of the guys in the class went over and started... "admiring" her. I don't think he touched her other than her wig, but I do know that Zavrinas who was also in that class told him to back off... he was scaring Inanna. The guy did as he was told.

The only other incident I've had with people getting too close to Inanna was when I first got her and my friend walked right over, proclaimed "oh is this that doll you were getting?" and PICKER HER UP! Okay, she may be my friend and all but, gah! My heart nearly fell out my butt I was so shocked and... scared! She knew how expensive she was before she ever saw her, and I'm sure she's realized by now how paranoid I am about things I care about. Goodness... Never have I had Inanna around this friend again, not because I don't like my friend or anything but because... I like Inanna too!

 

I had a woman grab my poor katja, and i nearly took her arm off. she almost dropped her and the woman behind the counter got a quick slap to the wrist. out of my own instinct. i freaked and cussed her out. i swore i heard little katja scream in pain... no one will dare touch my girls unless they ask first. im not an easy person to approach by any means, usally i scare the be-jesus out of most people (i live in the bible belt and im a tattoo artist 'nough said, im the walking freak of the south) then when they see me with a doll they are even more puzzled. but definately i will make my girls and boy a shirt that says DO NOT TOUCH!!!!!

 

I hate it when strangers get grabby...

Doll people? People who I know and trust to handle them carefully? No problem. I'll hand them over and not really worry about it. Anyone else? Oh hell no. I'm very protective of my guys and it irks me to no end when people want to paw at them. >_<

The worst I've seen was actually at a doll meet, though, and involved a friend's dolls rather than one of my own. At the end of April we had a trunk show and meet at Dolls & Friends here in Seattle. That's pretty much a monthly ritual, and people come in and out while we're all there with our dolls... Usually it's fun.

Well, in April we had assembled all of the dolls back on the couch for a group shot, and some of us hung around for awhile afterwards getting individual shots of the assembled resin-folk. I was on the floor taking pictures of my guys and Nezumitoo's, and generally keeping an eye on things while most of the crew were elsewhere, when this... person... an older woman with a huge purse... wanders up, and starts trundling her way past me to have a look, purse swinging every which way as she goes. (She missed bowling over a few of the standing dolls with that thing by nothing but the grace of good fortune-)

Horrified by the menace of The Purse of Doom, I made a dive for the guys, more or less getting between it and them... trying to give this gal a not-so-subtle hint to get her Leather Godzilla under control before it did something likely to get its owner killed.

Well, she did step aside and put down the purse...

... To get a better shot at REACHING AROUND ME to grab poor Fuan face-first!

Needless to say, that wasn't gonna fly. I'm as protective of Fuan (and the rest of the Angel Hunt crew, for that matter-) as I am of any of my own dolls, and I'm sure I probably came off as a capital bitch when I gave that woman the evil eye, accompanied by the same good sharp "No!" that I use to get a misbehaving cat's attention... and then proceded to tell her in no uncertain terms that one should never, ever, under any circumstances grab a BJD by its face, and why.

I don't think a word of what I said about fragile face-ups and such got through to her. She mumbled some innane thing about having one of her own at home and picking it up by its head all the time... and then went on to jabber about not understanding why anybody would want a doll with mismatched eyes anyway...

Grrr.
Just... grrr.

 

To some extent, it is understandable that when you are carrying around a doll others will want to touch it. That makes it no less rude when they do so without asking. I take my girl to work with me almost every day, because I enjoy having her their and in my down time I can work on making clothes or take pictures of her. Some of our customers have young children, and I often let them see her and sit with me and hold her.

This is partly my fault, but one night we had a group of role-players in the store, and one of the couples brought their three year old with them. She and I played with Sean, and then I set Sean on the table out of her reach near my boyfriend, who was there as well, while I went to count down the drawer. Well, Kage got up to use the restroom, and I had my head down and didn't realize he'd left. Kat got ahold of Sean by climbing up on one of the chairs, and she found a gel pen of mine (I think it was in my bookbag, which was next to the table). To make a long story shorter, she colored on her face, hands, and feet. Her nose was almost entirely pink, her palms were completely pink...and the entire time she was doing this, she was within sight of both of her parents, who were too busy with their RPG to pay attention to her, even though I had told both of them - after gaining their full attention - that I was going to go count down the drawer and would not be watching Kat. Kage came back in and I looked up and we realized what she had done. Her parents did NOTHING. Her mother said 'she doesn't color on her dolls at home, I don't know why she would color on yours'. Her father said 'I don't know why she did that.' Her mother has seen my dolls before and knows how expensive they are. I got no offer to help clean her up or to replace stained parts if necessary. I didn't even get an apology except from Kat when I yelled at her. I realize that I should not have left Sean where she could be got at, but I thought I had set her back far enough that Kat couldn't get to her. I was more upset by her parent's reactions than by the coloring. I ended up having to use acetone to get all of the pen off, which meant removing the lower half of her face up, most of the blushing in her hands, and her feet are still pink in some places.

<.<;; I don't generally mind people touching my girls or picking them up, but if I'm uncomfortable with how someone is handling my doll, I address it immediately, even if I'm on the phone with a customer or dealing with someone in person (I simply ask the customer to excuse me for a moment, cover the mouthpiece if I'm on the phone, and say "Could you please not touch that? I'd hate for her to get damaged as she's expensive."). I'm never rude unless I've asked repeatedly (there are several people I've flat out told "Don't touch her.") for someone to leave her alone. And mentioning that they're 'expensive' or 'very expensive' is a great way to get people to put them down and back away slowly. Very few people have $500 or more to drop on something they've broken.

 

Yesterday I took my little elfling to school with me...I kept him very close by me at all times, but there was the occasional, "Hey, what's that, can I touch it?"

The worst thing that happened was one girl wanted to see him (he was lying across my lap) and tried to GRAB HIM BY HIS HEAD and pull him off my lap. She didn't ask, she just reached out and tried to take him. I nearly bit her head off....lol.

Needless to say, I'm not going to take him to school again. Maybe when I go to college he and/or Rika might go to class with me sometimes, but, no more this year in high school. There were kids right and left being really mean to me about him, and generally not very polite about asking to see him or anything.

Since when is something of someone else's free for anyone and everyone to grab and mess with without permission?

La

 

Oh I feel yer pain!
I showed my Mother-In-Law a freshly faced-up doll and she took and SCRATCHED HIS CHEEK WITH HER LONG FINGERNAIL!

I was totally horrified! I asked her not to touch the face because the paint is fragile and a scratch means I'd have to do the whole thing over again... and then she SCRATCHED HIS CHEEK AGAIN.

Some people!!

Raven

 

Me too ^^U

 

I think it's human nature to want to get all touchy when they're curious about things. Heh, I know I get that way.

People who don't know about BJDs haven't the slightest clue on how to treat them 90% of the time. They tend to look at them like overgrown Barbies in the sense that they're just as 'durable'. My theory is that since people assume that all these other dolls have permanent makeup, they think "why shouldn't BJDs have it too?" I think that's the main reason why people don't think twice about rubbing (and flicking! O_O) their delicate faces. They're just plain ignorant.

But ignorant or not, they should have much, MUCH more respect for other people's stuff (come on, hanging a doll upside-down?!). I can't imagine doing anything like that... I am just... SO careful when I am handling other's dolls. Maybe even overly careful, I know I got a couple giggles when I was handling a couple at a doll meet the other week because I basically treated them as if they were made out of glass. Heh. I sure wish other people had the common sense to treat other's dolls and belongings in general in a similar manner.

I am so glad I found this thread! I can't take my Lily to either one of my jobs (I'd be afraid she'd come back in pieces), but I was hoping to bring her to my anime club next week. Now I know to give PLENTY of warning to people who are curious about her. And I will watch her like a hawk... and then some.

 

i'm one of those touchy feely people and extremely curious yeh^^;;
but i think people are just curious, you cant expect everybody to treat dolls with the same care because they dont know what they're worth.
but once i tell people they're worth 500, they're suddenly very scared of touching or handling xDD

tho i got very pissed at a friend, she just grabbed Jamie and just, pulled his leg open, i thought his leg broke off

 

o.0

curious interns/bitches... *damn* I can't believe anyone would do that -- I mean, would you pick up someone else's cell phone and play around with it without asking first? Hell no.

Damn. That's a tough situation. Laundromat is different from work too -- at the laundromat, my first instinct would be to leap to my feet and tell them to leave my doll the f**k alone, but truly, that could just result in a faceplant on the floor. Maybe something like 'hey, if you pass her over, I'll show you all the cool stuff she can do' or something more 'positive' would be a better way to handle it..? *sigh* the tempation to break fingers on grabby hands is overwhelming tho.

At work it's different though... can't go around damaging your co-workers or you'll get a reputation :P

*sigh* maybe pin a wee sign to her, something like 'please don't touch unless I'm there' or something? Or you could even do the whole intro round the office with her, and remind 'everyone' (ie the guy) how fragile they are, how you need to be careful with them and just check with you before they touch/grab/whatever..?

I'm really sorry that anyone has to go through anything like this it really sucks not being able to trust people to be even minimally polite

 

I'm very squee-mish when people ask to hold Gaia. Or just touch him without asking at all. I trust most of my friends, because they're either saving for one or already own one...

In fact, when I brought Gaia to school. This was during math. One of my math project partners, (we're mostly on good terms) just took off Gaia's wig and mocked him. I immediantly punched him in the stomach and yelled at him. He then insulted me that I bought Gaia only for peverted actions off of Ebay. This resulted in me threatening him that I'll cut off his nether-regions if he doesn't stop smart-mouthing Gaia. I may have acted rather harsh, but I recently just got Gaia and I was scared if anything happened to him.

But on lighter notes, I mostly bring Gaia along with me, always in a back-pack with his head sticking out. My dentist enjoys his company and asked where she can buy one of those, even after I told her the price tag on him. Alot of random ladies ask if Gaia's an Emily doll. Which I have no idea what an Emily doll was at the time... (Only knew 3 types of dolls: BJD, Barbie, and felt dolls my mummy used to make me.)

 

I think I posted on this thread before but I don't remember what I wrote. Here's an update on how I feel about others touching my dolls:

My friends that don't have dolls are really cautious with Shinichi in the beginning because of his price. But after awhile they kind of got over it and start playing with him too. I don't mind that much, but lately I notice that they start to get rougher and rougher while handling him, and some even start to play with him like he's an action figure. This concerns me, because my caution level while handling dolls never went down, whether they're mine or not.

At times I notice complete strangers are more respectful towards your things/dolls compared to people that you're familiar with. I've let quite a few people hold Shin when they ask about him and seem genuinely interested ... But I never had them not listen when I tell them not to touch his face, or please support his neck (floppy Yo-SD head). Some friends though ... forget the "rules" within five minutes.

 

Hm I'm lucky I've never run into any grabby people. A lot of people I see while holding one of the dolls (either mine or my mom's) just get close and look and ask questions. Occasionally one or two will pet their wigs like they're pets or something but are always really gentle. I can't imagine how I would react if someone roughly handled a doll in my posession. I tend to get Don Vito-ish when I'm upset (as in yelling things you can't understand and flailing my arms madly). I typically don't have a problem with letting people hold them, they always ask and that's typically after they ask me to sit them on a counter or show them they can stand. My dad doesn't handle my dolls at all and luckily my mom and sister both have/are getting one(s) so they treat mine gentally. My mom poses her Toppi on the little volks sofa with her cell phone or a book lol My sister will sometimes pick her up and take her to watch tv and talk to her about the show XD

 

Yes, yes, yes. I agree 100%. Lock every door in the house, and if they get upset, oh well. They're going to have to learn soon that they can't have everything their way and break stuff.

But that's me biggest pet peeve. I even get upset when I person tears up my magazine covers when looking at it.

 

Actually, my family members are afraid to handle my doll. XD Funny, really...
Also, when I bring him along with my friends, they ask if they may hold him. No stranger has yet to ask if they may hold my doll yet (only to look).

 

I have four kids of my own and three of them are boys 7 and under. Kiriko Moth's rules work on them. One of my dolls recently had an accident and ended up with her back broken thanks to one of my kids's friend. His mother offered to pay for the damages and luckily for her it was the obitsu. She paid for the part and my doll was nearly as good as new. The child was banned from my home for a week for disobeying my rules. Now I have a room strictly for myself and my dolls and there's hell to pay for entering it. I try to keep it locked when some of my less than caring friends come over. If I forget to lock it I do so as soon as I remember and I have no trouble with my conscience when I bluntly state my reasons.

 

put 'em somewhere where you can see them but they can't be reached by little people? and explain to the stepsister that you don't want them touched because they're very valuable. she surely would understand.

 

I think all you would have to do is talk to your sister, ahead of time. Just tell her that you have things in your house that are delicate and are not to be touched by her or her children. If she feels that she can't cope with that, then please stay outside the house.

I have children of my own, and from day one I've worked with them to respect other peoples' things. I have nephews...alas only nephews, and they don't bother the stuff in my houes either....and I never had to say a thing to them.

I leave my things out. I've really never had an accident....that I couldn't cope with. Maybe I'm lucky.

I think your sister needs to respect you and your property. That's the bottom line.

 

I agree with many of the suggestions offered about 'teaching' the children good manners, but at 7 and 9, if they are already wild, that is not an easy task. And if the parent(s) don't support your wishes, your attempts at instructing the children will go in one ear and out the other anyway. Teaching kids to respect another's belongings is a good manner that is hard to find nowadays. Commendations to the rare parents/guardians that do.

I once had guests (who were invited to my home by my sister-in-law and without our knowledge) who also brought their two kids, ages 8 and 9; who I caught playing bongo drums on my stained glass lamps. Not real Tiffany, but still rather pricey. *aargh!* I immediately told the kids to stop and said it so loudly and in front of the parents. I didn't care--these "guests" were in my house and running amok and the parents didn't say a word.

Anyway, if the kids are only visiting, you won't be able to train them in a short time. Rather than taking a a chance, the safest thing to do is make a room(s) off limits and if locked is the only way, so be it. I believe it's better they feel annoyed than to have any of your dolls or belongings harmed. Besides, it's unlikely that you will get reimbursed for whatever is broken--being family and all that.

Think of it this way, you work long and hard so you can have your precious dolls and to let someone thoughtlessly harm them, that is simply not acceptable. So why chance it? And if they want to know whey they can't go inside, say that for safety reasons, you don't want them to get cut by any of the glass, etc. Hard to argue with "safety".

 

I also have a bad experience. But thankfully, my boy is fine.

I know that my uncle is an art person. He studied at an art college before.
When the first time he saw Cloud, I was so shock that I just stand there unable to scold him! >.<
He tapped his shoulder really hard! God! And he's an art person! Give me a break! He should've known that artworks aren't supposed to be treated like that! I'm still angry with him now -_-

But..I'm more angry at myself, for unable to tell him not to touch Cloud *sigh*