Other People's "Playing" or "Attachment" or lack thereof - Does It Bother You?

It isn't a company's business what a customer does with their dolls (as long as it is within legal limits). The minute you've handed over the money, the doll is yours and you can do with it as you please. Barbies are meant to be played with, but Mattel would loose a lawsuit if they'd sue someone for merely collecting them.
Just because someone is keeping the doll on a shelf doesn't mean (s)he is 'neglecting' it. Not everyone is the playing/ photographing type. Some like to display their collection and that's it.

 

A person does not need 10+ dolls. I am not saying that it was a poor purchase if someone bought that many and loves and plays with each and every one of them, but if they just keep them in a box and ignore some of them then what was the point in the purchase? There are better ways to spend money in that case. I'm not going to waste my money on say, a musical instrument, because for myself that would be a waste as I am completely musically untalented. But if my musically talented friend needs a multitude of guitars because there is something special and useful about each one then that's cool.

What is constructive is different for each and every one of us. If the dolls don't get attention it just seems like a waste to me is all. What is or is not "enough" attention is different on a person to person basis. But I'd rather give school supplies to an underprivlidged child than have a doll I keep in a box. I hope to some day be capable of doing both. That does not mean I am looking to get dolls and hoard them away in their boxes in a closet, it just would be nice to have so much money that I could opt to do so if I wished.

 

@Stormie: A person doesn't 'need' 2-3 TV's, 20 shoes or 10+ guitars, no matter how special and useful each one is. It is possible to give money to charity, save money for a rainy day and still have a load of dolls. That's the benefit of a fulltime job.

Your post sounded like you think that having a lot of dolls is only acceptable when the owner is giving them 'attention' and 'loves' them. If not, they should spend their money on more useful or charitable things. Problem is that in this reply you take your own way of doing things as a standard. How we express our love for things however, is different from person to person. Some are hands-on with their dolls and they show their joy in that way. Others are very careful with them, trying to keep them in pristine condition, because taking good care of their possessions is a way of showing how much they love them. The latter shouldn't be mistaken for indifference.

 

I do feel disappointed when I open a gallery thread to see a limited or a personal favourite sculpt in sockdresses or with a terribad faceup. Mostly because I like to see these dolls as beautiful as they can be in all their different possibilities - pretty doll pictures are nice to look at. I admit to being puzzled as to why people are willing to shell out $800 odd on a doll then throw it in a sock - I don't find it personally offensive, just odd and without taste. It's more a preference as a spectator on my behalf. It's your doll, do what you want; but I don't have to like it, basically.

Whatever activities a person does with their doll - playing/taking pictures/how much they spend/etc - and how often I don't really care, it's their doll.

 

not everyone shows love and care the same way, in a sense some may see care as keeping it safe and on a shelf
and some may see it as photo's and lots of clothes
to me its a personal choice
much like a lot of hobbies (example miniature games, some models go for the same prices as dolls, and are also made of resin-different kind though) some people display them and some people use them in the game.
Though I've yet to see someone really talk to a model of a demon or a tank lol
(different what a more loving face on something will do)

 

Many people gets upset over dolls, whos owners don`t pay attention to them or don`t appreciate them. But how can anyone tell if owner don`t pay attention or don`t appreciate her/his doll?

 

Most who work get taxed, and part of taxes to towards programs to the poor. If a single person makes around $50,000 a year, they're probably being taxed around 33% in the USA, which is $16,500. A huge chunk of this goes to programs to benefit others. My point in bringing this up is that many are already giving a significant amount of their paychecks to those less well-off, and if the persons being taxed wants to spend their money on whatever frivolous things they want, I don't see anything wrong with that.

Also, buying dolls is also giving to and supporting small businesses. It's not like the money from these purchases is being sent into the blood diamond industry. In many cases, it's going to individuals instead; even the larger companies like Soom have less than 50 workers.

 

Second this, but it goes both ways. If you spend $1000 on a doll and set it on fire, I'll probably think you're wasteful (and a bit nutty). However, my opinion of your spending isn''t going to and shouldn't stop you from setting it on fire.

I'm more curious about why all this matters. If somebody thinks your doll is horrid, why do you care? Do you also care if somebody says "your W car is awful, you should drive a X"? Or "I hate that Y food you're eating, you should really eat Z"?

 

@Silk: I said that what is constructive and what is enough attention is different for each person. I may not personally see a point in having a plethora of dolls if you do not like all of them enough to validate having them to yourself, but it is a persons's own money to do what they wish. I never mentioned my "own way of doing things" to have a standard in my post. My dolls? In the closets. It keeps them safe from my pets, who love to push things off shelves. Does it mean I love them less because I do not have them in a display box or do not hug them daily? Nah. I'm just practical to my situation with my dolls.

Noone needs any of those things you mentioned, and in all of those cases I would wish to see a person be more charitable. But this is really a whole different debate.

 

All I'm going to say is this... Don't make assumptions about what other people do with their money.

It's entirely possible to be both a collector and a charitable individual. They're not mutually exclusive states of being, and one in no way precludes the other if you have any shred of money-management skill.

 

It's odd to talk about better ways to spend money when we're talking about a hobby. Most hobbies are self indulgent and frivolous, but they bring people pleasure so it's not a waste of money. If you think a $500 doll brings you $500 of pleasure (no matter what you do with it) then it's hard to argue with that.

 

I don't care at all about what people may do with/to their dolls, limited or no ! They paid for right ? Then I don't even see why it should bother someone that the so limited doll sleep all days in its box ! They want to use permanent marker for face up ? let's go, I won't cry, won't even say something, it's not my doll then not my business !

I own a Soom Beyla still in is Xmas gift clothes and yes since he didn't change and so what ?! It's my business, I would really despise that someone would say : he really need a change, he is a limited ! I have a life and my life doesn't turn around BJD then I still didn't get time to sew more for him, and even this, before to sew for him I will sew for myself first ! he can even stay butt naked no one will complain, but me butt naked in the streets won't work at all ^w^

If some feel like going to rescue the supposed alone dolls in their boxes then crack open a window and steal all of them *roll eyes*

If someone want to put a 10$ ugly/bad quality fur wig on a LE doll where is the prob ? If someone want to dress it with a sock where it the prob ?

I understand less and less that way to put nose in business that is not ours ! If someone throw its doll from the tenth floor why I should be shocked or such ? I don't care it's not my doll ! I don't understand how someone can say : as long they .... how that ? as long what ? they do what they want, no one should be against this since it's not there business. Or maybe that's me who is odd, with my way to stay out of others's business. But don't worry, my doll have well made handmade clothes, good quality wigs and shoes and good face up, they don't walk around dressed with potatoes bag ^w^ or I must be dead if it happens ~.~

Oh and this post isn't against the OP at all !

 

As long as it harms no one, let people do what they want. (and sorry the fact that you may not like how something looks does not constitute harm). Heck while I may not like scalpers or what they are doing, it's their right to do so, and mine to choose not to support their actions. If someone wants to damage a doll, they paid for it, it's their's now.

From a purely selfish point of view, there are people who have dolls that I wish they would bring to meetups or take pictures of, just so I can look at them. But this is purely for selfish reasons, and they have no obligation towards me to do so. Luckily with friends you can have abit more pull in such situations.

I have alot of dolls, I earned them. I often tell people (usually younger members), that given time they will get to a place of financial security as well and can have many dolls then as well, if they so choose. I worked hard to get where I am in life, and for my money, the dolls bring me such joy (even just sitting on shelves) that they are worth the costs.

As for donating money to charity instead of buying dolls... Well think on it this way. Even if I were to donate all the money I spent on dolls towards a charity, it may not be a charity you believe in or support and then were just at the same point again. I say, one should trust that a person who is financially stable enough (or able to budget properly) to be able to afford multiple dolls, are also generally okay to manage their own moral compass inregards to helping others, and don't need others telling them they are not doing enough without knowledge of what they may or may not be doing.

 

A person does not need 1 doll, either.

The "point [in] the purchase", for some collectors, might be "because I want to own that doll in my collection", no more & no less. Just OWNING the doll fulfills the owner's purpose. There might not even be anything else that person feels like spending their money on. This is exactly the kind of tunnel-vision I was talking about; try to stretch your mind to envision the way somebody else sees their collection, their priorities, their world.

For example, I don't understand the idea of sleeping with a BJD, in your bed (they're so pointy and brittle), because it seems like a ridiculous and unnecessary risk at which to put one's fine collectibles. But I can at least imagine the type of person who'd want to, and why they'd want to. And I can imagine the sort of doll they'd choose & the sort of life that this habit fits into. I still don't yet understand why they wouldn't choose something softer and less valuable and less easily damaged, to sleep with... but I can always try to come back & grok it later (one ounce of empathy at a time ^^).

Charity has utterly nothing to do with the whole topic but... How do you know they're not already charitable? It's the internet; do you think you're capable of spotting Mother Teresa or Ebenezer Scrooge on a faceless forum, merely by looking at their doll collections?

 

1) Setting the above two issues (scalping and damaging dolls), is there anything else that you feel someone who buys dolls should or should not be doing with them that constitutes proper "enjoyment" or "appreciation" or "love" for the doll? Do you feel that people are obligated to do any of the following?
While I personally prefer to see proper maintenance and face-ups done with the right materials etc, it is up to the person. They could burn their doll, take a hammer to it, whatever they want. I have no right to tell them not to if it is their own doll. As long as a person is within the law and not hurting other people they aren't obligated to do anything just because I, or anyone else doesn't agree with them.

2) What about people who buy the doll and then just leave it in its box (where it is safe from any physical harm) and look at it once in a while? Do you think that constitutes a valid "enjoyment" of the doll?
While I am not satisfied with that, for some that is perfectly appropriate. That's more a collection of dolls vs mine where I want mine to be a more active hobby. I don't care if they keep it in a box, I just won't keep dolls I never do anything with because I hate clutter and like to only keep things I tend to use/enjoy fairly often.

3) Do your answers change if it's a limited doll?
Nope. While I like to see limited dolls in the hands of really active members who photoshoot etc, that's probably selfish because then I can enjoy their pictures and the doll without owning one.

4) Do your answers change if it's a fullset doll that comes with everything, so there's no need to customize, buy clothes, or get a faceup and wig for the doll?
A persons property is their property, it's their decision to enjoy it the way they please.

4) Do your answers change if it's a lot of dolls? For purposes of the question, let's assume that "a lot" of dolls means approximately 10 dolls or more.
I don't think quantity really matters. Unless a person is like me and needs to actively enjoy their dolls - the number of dolls and whether you remember them all may be important because it can signify whether you're actually enjoying it or not. If a person is more on the collecters side then they may not remember half they own but it's fine as that aspect isn't as important then.
These are generalizations of course. Each person has their own view and use in this hobby.

 

To paraphrase what JennyNemesis wrote on the first page, I think all the should and shouldn't of the kind we are discussing comes from people easily being able to understand others who collect dolls in the same style as they do... And the converse is of course also true - people have difficulty understanding and hence respecting people who collect very differently than they do themselves.

I am utterly puzzled by many things people choose to do with their dolls, but I love the diversity of the hobby and the fact that there is room for those who do things that I can't quite bend my mind around to those who collect in ways that seem very natural to me...

I shake my head and tsk people's choices in the privacy of my own home, where it doesn't bother anyone... But I know that comes from looking at the world from my very own narrow viewpoint. As I'm tsking I'm so happy I'm not looking at a thousand versions of my own collection - how boring that would be...!

 

1) Setting the above two issues (scalping and damaging dolls), is there anything else that you feel someone who buys dolls should or should not be doing with them that constitutes proper "enjoyment" or "appreciation" or "love" for the doll? Do you feel that people are obligated to do any of the following?

- Buy or make really nice clothing for the doll (i.e. best you can afford)?
I will confess that it does rather stump me when I see somebody with a $500 doll in nothing but sock dresses. You spent that much on a doll - you can't buy an outfit for her for $40? There are tons of wonderful seamstresses out there who make lovely things for reasonable prices.
- Invest in a professional faceup for the doll, rather than a properly done (i.e. no magic markers, not awful) but kind of amateurish one?
Ditto the above.............. However, I've seen some collectors with what, IMHO, were just god-awful faceups and they adore their doll. They love him/her. So perhaps their taste is just different than mine. So that one comes with a caveat.
- Interact or "play" with the doll somehow - by hugging it, making up stories about it, talking to it, taking it to meets, photographing it regularly, etc.?
Yes! I don't hug my dolls (Juniper bites me when I try) but jeez photograph them, or show it to a friend, or at least have them sitting out where you can SEE them every day.
2) What about people who buy the doll and then just leave it in its box (where it is safe from any physical harm) and look at it once in a while? Do you think that constitutes a valid "enjoyment" of the doll?
No. I think people who do that don't "get" these dolls. They are meant to be changed, have wigs swapped, eyes changed........
3) Do your answers change if it's a limited doll?
They get stronger. Some people would KILL for a Bermann, say, and I think it's a shame to hear about some collector in XYZ state who has 3 of them and they sit in boxes in her closet. Why not sell them to somebody who would really ENJOY them, somebody who really really wants one? Seems to me that something sitting in a box isn't truly WANTED and they are depriving somebody else the chance to own one.
4) Do your answers change if it's a fullset doll that comes with everything, so there's no need to customize, buy clothes, or get a faceup and wig for the doll?
Sorta. I think some collectors who put their dolls in the case as they came, in the outfit they came in, never to touch them, don't "get" these dolls, either.
4) Do your answers change if it's a lot of dolls? For purposes of the question, let's assume that "a lot" of dolls means approximately 10 dolls or more.
No. I have a lot of dolls and they all sit out, even if I don't photograph them every day, I can see them and at least I look at them and enjoy them and play with them.

Okay, all that said - to say these things annoy me is carrying it a bit far. It's NOT my doll, it's none of my business how they play with them. If I see one of the things above, the thought "oh, what a shame" will enter my mind, but it doesn't keep me up and I won't actually be UPSET about it. I'll know somebody has an ultra-limited doll and maybe sort of grouse a little with a friend about what a shame it is that she never shares pictures of said doll, but again - doesn't UPSET me or keep me up nights.

When all is said and done, it really isn't my business how somebody else plays with or interacts with their doll.

 

JennyNemesis,

They sure don't need 1 either. You are right.
I have stated that what is "enough attention" depends on a person to person basis. If they feel joy and fullfillment from simply having it in their collection than that is "enough."

Your comment on charity neglects the "more" phrase. I did not say they do not give. Give more? It seems that everyone is up in arms about someone asking them to be charitable and that just seems odd to me. Do I give thousands to charity? Nope. I do not have it to give. If a person has tons of dolls and do not feel the fullfillment you mention then the money was a waste. That was the only point I was getting at. If they are fullfilled by having a specific doll in their collection then that was what the purchase was suppose to do.