Other People's "Playing" or "Attachment" or lack thereof - Does It Bother You?

To each his own.

The only time something like this has ever bothered me was when a friend re-attached my girl's eyelashes. She held her up by the waist, tilted her side to side, and said "I have new eyelashes!" I know she was trying to be friendly and nice but all the same, it bothered me. ._.

 

Brightfires said
"It's perfectly reasonable to expect to be able to do whatever you like with your own dolls... It's not reasonable to expect everyone else to share your tastes."

I completely agree, and I absolutely don't expect others to have the same taste. What I do expect, is that within the hobby we not put down others, because their tastes are different than our own.

It's the put-downs and judgments that tick me off, not the different ways of enjoying ones dolls.

 

1) Setting the above two issues (scalping and damaging dolls), is there anything else that you feel someone who buys dolls should or should not be doing with them that constitutes proper "enjoyment" or "appreciation" or "love" for the doll? Do you feel that people are obligated to do any of the following?

- Buy or make really nice clothing for the doll (i.e. best you can afford)?
No, not obligated. I've been collecting pullips for a few years now and just started with bjd's and as a newb, I find it so difficult to pay for bjd clothes after being spoiled with Barbie lots etc. I would love to make some nice clothes at some point though.

- Invest in a professional faceup for the doll, rather than a properly done (i.e. no magic markers, not awful) but kind of amateurish one?
No. Again, as a fairly new bjd enthusiast, I've had some practice with doing face-ups on pullips and I find the bjds much easier to work on. I think it's also good to get practice by doing them yourself, like a work in progress to get to the perfect stopping point.

- Interact or "play" with the doll somehow - by hugging it, making up stories about it, talking to it, taking it to meets, photographing it regularly, etc.?
I can see making a story for it, but talking to them is kind of... weird.. lol. I'm big on the "photographing regularly." I love to share my love for them with everyone else

2) What about people who buy the doll and then just leave it in its box (where it is safe from any physical harm) and look at it once in a while? Do you think that constitutes a valid "enjoyment" of the doll?
I've never understood this as a doll collector. I love playing with them, dressing them up, displaying them etc. Though, for some people, maybe just knowing they own a certain doll gives them enough enjoyment...

3) Do your answers change if it's a limited doll?
Not really. I've tried to keep limiteds in boxes... It's hard. lol.

4) Do your answers change if it's a fullset doll that comes with everything, so there's no need to customize, buy clothes, or get a faceup and wig for the doll?
I would only buy a fullset if I knew I would love every aspect of it, and then I would not change anything.

4) Do your answers change if it's a lot of dolls? For purposes of the question, let's assume that "a lot" of dolls means approximately 10 dolls or more.
Nope.

 

Sorry... But, no. People are, and should be, allowed to express their opinions freely in locations created for that purpose. Rather you (or any of us, for that matter-) share those opinions, disagree with them, or find them annoying is immaterial.

And since this has nothing to do with the topic of this thread, I suggest the matter be dropped.

 

This is a totally fascinating subject! It really breaks down to where each person is at psychologically in regards to how they connect with their doll. I'd like to think that if you go through the process of choosing a special doll, pay a sizable amount of money for it and wait a lengthy time for it to arrive, that you're going to have a lot of respect and connection with it. You've put so much into receiving it, it seems natural to feel a bond with it. However, just because of these things the act of "playing" with your doll is so personal and up to what each person needs out of life. I think there are a lot of people that turn to dolls to fill a certain void. Some have no kids and it turns into a mothering replacement. Some are very sensitive and tender people that need some extra care and love and when you can't find that in people you can find that in your dolls. And some are just young at heart and love the way it makes them feel, a remembrance of childhood. I don't think the physical act of playing with your dolls or going over the top with interacting with them can be broken down to what each of us should or shouldn't do.
I think having respect for your collection can be a window into what kind of personality that person has. Maybe they have loads of money and can buy anything they want so it's not as big of an event to purchase a new doll so they may throw it up on a shelf or keep it in a box next to all the others. If someone has to work harder to get their doll, maybe they can't really afford it and they've saved up forever for it, they're probably going to put more love and care into taking care of it. But, in the same regards, for the same person that can afford a million dolls, there are plenty who totally cherish them and take even more care. I think it just really comes down to "what kind of doll person are you". I think there are just many different categories for the type you could be. I think it's just too hard to pinpoint.
I'd like to imagine everyone displaying and playing with their dolls, no matter what size the collection, but I think it takes a certain type of personality to do that and to say that one way of doing it is wrong seems like me just admitting my jealousy over them having all those dolls that I could be playing with.
I hope I didn't totally babble nonsense!

 

1) Setting the above two issues (scalping and damaging dolls), is there anything else that you feel someone who buys dolls should or should not be doing with them that constitutes proper "enjoyment" or "appreciation" or "love" for the doll? Do you feel that people are obligated to do any of the following?

- Buy or make really nice clothing for the doll (i.e. best you can afford)? Not obligated no, but it would be nice if more people put some effort into dressing their dolls. Like others have said, why spend hundreds of dollars on a doll and dress it in a sock or ill-fitting baby doll clothes?

- Invest in a professional faceup for the doll, rather than a properly done (i.e. no magic markers, not awful) but kind of amateurish one? Not right off the bat, someone might want to do their own faceups, become good, etc...but when it's been years and you haven't improved at all and your faceups look like they were done by a 4th grader, then yeah it's probably time to commission one.

- Interact or "play" with the doll somehow - by hugging it, making up stories about it, talking to it, taking it to meets, photographing it regularly, etc.? Not everyone gets enjoyment out of these things, a lot of people simply like to look at their dolls as art pieces or what have you. I'm down with most of those things, but the whole talking to the doll and pretending (or actually believing) the doll is alive is very creepy to me.

2) What about people who buy the doll and then just leave it in its box (where it is safe from any physical harm) and look at it once in a while? Do you think that constitutes a valid "enjoyment" of the doll? Sure, why not? It's not something I do since I like to look at my dolls all the time, but I can see the benefits. I mean the person knows what doll they have and they can take it out to photograph or whatever any time they want but with the added benefit of the doll not yellowing or being damaged.

4) Do your answers change if it's a lot of dolls? For purposes of the question, let's assume that "a lot" of dolls means approximately 10 dolls or more. I can definitely see the benefits of keeping dolls in boxes the more dolls you have. Maybe just keep a few out at a time so they're not bursting from every crevice in your house.

 

Sure, seeing how some people treat such expensive objects makes me cringe, and when I see certain faceups I even feel bad for the artists who sculpted the dolls :\ but I think nobody is "obliged" to do anything with their own dolls.
The only thing that would upset me a bit is if someone kept a limited doll in a box for years, knowing that there were a lot of people that wanted that doll... I mean, at least leave it where you can see it :P

 

- Buy or make really nice clothing for the doll (i.e. best you can afford)?
I'm very much of the 'live and let live'-order. Once you've paid for it, it is yours. If you want to wrap your doll up in toilet-paper, so be it. If you can't readily afford clothes? I might suggest to look up some of the many talented dolly tailors out there, but if you can't/don't want to- well that's fine, too. It is not my doll.
Personally, I tend to spoil my dolls. Pretty/well-made clothes and shoes, nice wigs, props... But that's me. I certainly don't expect anybody else to do it.

On the side, if one were to wrap said doll in toilet paper and set in on fire, I might think you're loopy, but I certainly wouldn't personally attack you for it. As long as you don't dress mine in toilet paper/set in on fire, of course :p

- Invest in a professional faceup for the doll, rather than a properly done (i.e. no magic markers, not awful) but kind of amateurish one?
Again, live and let live. I can understand how giving your boy or girl a face-up yourself, even though it might be a rather poorly executed one, makes you 'bond' with the doll.
I, myself, have tried a face-up, found that I royally stank at it and have left it in the care of a professional. But that's me. Because I can't bond with my girl that way.

Dolls should be for your enjoyment and yours alone. You paid for it, so you have to be happy with it. Though I have to admit that obviously it will be rather hard to leave nice commentary on a photoshoot of toilet-paper clad doll with a black stripes for eyebrows and clown's lips. If photos like that were to pop up, though, I would choose to not comment, rather than attack the person in question.

- Interact or "play" with the doll somehow - by hugging it, making up stories about it, talking to it, taking it to meets, photographing it regularly, etc.?
Hmm... I don't mind other people dressing their dolls in jammies and tuck 'em into bed with them. Your doll, your money.
I prefer a nice squishy plush myself though. Not to mention I would be terrified of rolling on her and damaging her somehow. And I don't have any need to take them to bed with me, to be honest. But hey, if it makes someone else feel happy, why not.
I guess most people would think me 'neglectful' of my dolls. I will re-dress them once in a while and I like photographing them when the feeling strikes. The rest of the time? Part of them is displayed in a bookcase with glass windows, the other part tucked away safely.
I'd feel much more comfortable talking to my cat (who'll meow back) than to my doll. Same with hugging. But if it makes you happy, then by all means, do so.

The only thing I'd like to touch on is that sometimes I feel like some people get too 'serious' about this. They're dolls, expensive ones, yes, but still dolls.
No offense intended at all, in any way or form.

Do your answers change if it's a limited doll?
Not at all.

- What about people who buy the doll and then just leave it in its box (where it is safe from any physical harm) and look at it once in a while? Do you think that constitutes a valid "enjoyment" of the doll?
Sure. There's different types of collectors.

- Do your answers change if it's a lot of dolls? For purposes of the question, let's assume that "a lot" of dolls means approximately 10 dolls or more.
No, not really. I'm sure every person has his own way of interacting or a need to pay attention to them. Nobody is the same, after all.

 

I don't really care about what other people do with their dolls, but bothers me when other owners think that you should be treating dolls like they do to be considered a 'productive' doll owner.
Like creating a full complex background and photostories and things like that. I do enjoy when other owners do it well, but I'm not particularly fond of doing so. And I bought my dolls simply because they are beautiful and I apreciate well done artisans crafts.
If an owner have time and interest to create a whole complex background, make photostories and all that, good for them. But just not expect others to do it also cause each person has their own point of view about dolls and hobby itself. And the fact that they don't 'play' with dolls often don't make them better or worse doll owner.

Imagine a guy that bought a rare portrait in an auction. He bought it for his private collection, and it's not something he would like to show to everyone for a matter of safety/care. But either way he would be satisfied by just looking at it a few times and have the pleasure to know that he owns it.
Of course this example applies if you buy a limited doll, cause if you buy a regular doll, you would need to spend some time customizing it, unless you love having blank dolls.

 

1) Setting the above two issues (scalping and damaging dolls), is there anything else that you feel someone who buys dolls should or should not be doing with them that constitutes proper "enjoyment" or "appreciation" or "love" for the doll? Do you feel that people are obligated to do any of the following?

- Buy or make really nice clothing for the doll (i.e. best you can afford)?
I don't feel this is required. In fact, I don't do it. I prefer to search the doll/teddy bear sections at toy and craft stores for the clothes that will fit him or make him clothes (usually from scraps) myself. I find a greater satisfaction and enjoyment from this than just buying expensive clothing for him.

- Invest in a professional faceup for the doll, rather than a properly done (i.e. no magic markers, not awful) but kind of amateurish one?
Again, I specifically get dolls with no face ups so that I can do it myself. I love this aspect of customizing. I am very proud of my kind of amateurish face up and love my doll all the more for it.

With these previous two questions I'm not saying that people who don't make their own clothes or do their own face ups don't love their doll. They play their way and I play mine. I'll admit that I've drooled over some professional face ups and clothing! I just like to do things myself.

- Interact or "play" with the doll somehow - by hugging it, making up stories about it, talking to it, taking it to meets, photographing it regularly, etc.?
I think a doll just being on display is fine. It is just a doll. Display cases, high shelves, just sitting and looking pretty don't bother me. I don't "play" with my doll often. He usually only gets interacted with when I'm making something for him and need him for measurements.

2) What about people who buy the doll and then just leave it in its box (where it is safe from any physical harm) and look at it once in a while? Do you think that constitutes a valid "enjoyment" of the doll?
It seems odd to me when people leave them in their boxes. The only thing that seems odd about being in their boxes is that you can't see them. I like glancing up occasionally to look at my doll and just enjoying that he's there. I just don't understand the mentalitly of leaving them in their boxes.


3) Do your answers change if it's a limited doll?
Not really

4) Do your answers change if it's a fullset doll that comes with everything, so there's no need to customize, buy clothes, or get a faceup and wig for the doll?
sort of, if the "inner boxes" from the company (not the outer one's they're shipped in) had some sort of clear front like you often see with porcelain dolls it wouldn't bother me if people left them in their boxes. It goes back to the ability to be seen.

4) Do your answers change if it's a lot of dolls? For purposes of the question, let's assume that "a lot" of dolls means approximately 10 dolls or more.
It's dificult for me to comprehend owning that many dolls, but at the same time I can understand it. I don't think it changes.


What this thread brings to mind is that most of us will agree (in my experience) that BJDs are a collector's item. In fact, many people use this excuse to justify their cost to non bjd owners. In other collectable hobbies (stams, coins, rocks, beanie babies, porcelain dolls, figurines, etc) there is usually a "get all you can" sort of mentality. People seek out rare items for their collection and then place them in protective coverings and put them in a box or on a shelf and then seek out other rare items. Many other items (I know it's true with coins, comics, and porcelain dolls) the item GREATLY depreciates in value if it is removed from it's original casing and used. In the BJD world, however, people seem to be expected to play with their monetary investments. In this sense, I'm not sure BJD's should be considered collectables. I'm not sure what conclusion I'd like to draw from this, so for now I'll just say that I find it an interesting dichotomy.

 

There are a great many reasons why people are "into" dolls, therefore a great many behaviours are to be expected from their owners, this is why not only am I not bothered at all with what people do with their dolls.
I must say that most of the time, I think what people manage to make for their dolls or do with them is absolutely stunning.
I really enjoy looking at everybody's pictures and seeing people's dolls "live" .

 

I completely agree here. And I will go a step further and say that in a world where less and less is appreciated and yet MORE and MORE is acquired (for sheer instant gratification at times), I reject the whole throw-away society we live in today. If anything is worth spending money on and bringing into your world, let it be something special ~ a thing of beauty ~ that enriches your life somehow!
With that in mind, all things in moderation and in balance is good too. (I am always struggling with 'balance', myself!)

 

Here's the debate questions:
1) Setting the above two issues (scalping and damaging dolls), is there anything else that you feel someone who buys dolls should or should not be doing with them that constitutes proper "enjoyment" or "appreciation" or "love" for the doll? Do you feel that people are obligated to do any of the following?

I dont think that people are Obligated to do anything. It is their doll, they can do what they want.

- Buy or make really nice clothing for the doll (i.e. best you can afford)?

I, personally prefer to make clothing, since it is always unique, but there is nothing wrong with buying what you like, regardless of how expensive it is.

- Invest in a professional faceup for the doll, rather than a properly done (i.e. no magic markers, not awful) but kind of amateurish one?

I think that as long as the owner is happy with the outcome, then no one has any right to say that there is anything wrong with it. That being said, i would NEVER draw on my doll with magic markers or do soemthing that may "harm" it or that is 100% permanent. The biggest pull for me with BJD's is their level of customization. but again, i think that as long as the owner is happy, then it is their business.

- Interact or "play" with the doll somehow - by hugging it, making up stories about it, talking to it, taking it to meets, photographing it regularly, etc.?

I personally will not try to "talk" to my doll, because it is not real. Its inanimate. However, i understand why some people would. I dont thing that anyone is obligated to take it to meets or photograph it, but I will. I think that it is fun to show it off and see how it looks with other lines and scultps.

2) What about people who buy the doll and then just leave it in its box (where it is safe from any physical harm) and look at it once in a while? Do you think that constitutes a valid "enjoyment" of the doll?

Of Course it does! I have LOTS of figures that i paid a small fortune for and have never taken from the box except for the inital inspection. I dont think that there is anything wrong with that at all.

3) Do your answers change if it's a limited doll?
Nope.

4) Do your answers change if it's a fullset doll that comes with everything, so there's no need to customize, buy clothes, or get a faceup and wig for the doll?
Nope. Again, an owner who pays for their own doll can do whatever they want. Its no ones business what they do or do not do with their doll. I dont understand why some doll owners feel that they are superior to other owners because they have default faces or factory outfits. Theres nothing wrong with it at all IMO.

4) Do your answers change if it's a lot of dolls? For purposes of the question, let's assume that "a lot" of dolls means approximately 10 dolls or more.

Well, i think that if youre going to buy at least ten dolls, then I personally would do something to personalize and individualize each doll. Kinda seems like the person may only be collecting for "bragging rights" if they had a HUGE collection and didnt do anything with them. But again, its their money and their dolls, so if thats what they wanna do, then so be it.

Good questions!!

 

1) Setting the above two issues (scalping and damaging dolls), is there anything else that you feel someone who buys dolls should or should not be doing with them that constitutes proper "enjoyment" or "appreciation" or "love" for the doll? Do you feel that people are obligated to do any of the following?

- Buy or make really nice clothing for the doll (i.e. best you can afford)?
Nope, not if the are nude! Okay, that aside, I like mine to look nice. However, one can do that without spending tons of money. Lean to be thrifty and make adjustments and sew stuff, it can be done. And if someone new is learning to sew stuff, it might not look the best, but they could be really proud of it and we should not be to quick to judge other dolls clothes. They may become super good one day.

- Invest in a professional faceup for the doll, rather than a properly done (i.e. no magic markers, not awful) but kind of amateurish one?
I do my own or have a company face up, except for one Puki faceplate, that was modded and done by the person I bought it from. I like to do my own, and I've improved over the last 3 years. But I don't mind spending the money for a face up, I just don't like to send my doll out in the mail. It's kinda scary how some boxes have arrived to me from the post...

- Interact or "play" with the doll somehow - by hugging it, making up stories about it, talking to it, taking it to meets, photographing it regularly, etc.?
I can't hug most of mine, they are tiny size! But hugging or cuddling can be a comfort, just like a stuffed animal. Mine have random stories that I think of, but I've done that for as long as I can remember about stuff. I just always think, and when the dolls pop in my head, they get a short story, and then I forget it. Can't say I talk to my dolls. They don't talk back. Love photos and meets when I make it to them!

2) What about people who buy the doll and then just leave it in its box (where it is safe from any physical harm) and look at it once in a while? Do you think that constitutes a valid "enjoyment" of the doll?
Hey, if I had a place that I could easily get to for the boxes to get the dolls in and out, I would do it. Mainly due to the fact that if you are in Texas you get a ton of dust in your house, fast. It's not so fun to beat their wigs to get dust out, and dust their eyes. But no, I think that for some people, in the box so the cat can't knock them over or whatever reason they have, they still enjoy the dolls just as much!

3) Do your answers change if it's a limited doll?
Not for me, but if it is a one of or one of three, I can see being more careful about some things. I mean their is the Volks thing where you spend $5,000 for the doll and stuff, and I would want that face up to last!

4) Do your answers change if it's a fullset doll that comes with everything, so there's no need to customize, buy clothes, or get a faceup and wig for the doll?
My dolls always need more clothes.... I don't really wipe company face ups, they will eventually need a new one, but it no big deal if some one dose, it's their doll.

4) Do your answers change if it's a lot of dolls? For purposes of the question, let's assume that "a lot" of dolls means approximately 10 dolls or more.
I have over 10, and I make more clothes for them and am learning to sew more stuff, cause money can't grow on a tree. The tiny ones also get more stuff cause it's a bit cheaper and so cute!

 

I have always been one of those 'to each his own' owners, not really caring what other people do with their dolls. However recently at a meet I came across an owner who refused to allow anyone to take a picture of their doll with the camera's flash on, which some people claim will eventually cause residue buildup. While I'm not denying that it does eventually, eventually being the key, it still really perplexed me that they wouldn't allow it. Why bring your doll to a meet, which is inside a building with poor lighting, then spend your entire time asking people not to take pictures and avoiding the group? I understand not letting people take pictures of the Sistine chapel, as that is millions of pictures a year, but a couple of a doll?

I can at least tolerate most doll people, but the overly paranoid ones confuse me...

 

I've collected a lot of things before getting into BJDs, some were things I played with and some were things I just had around to look at. With my action figure collection, it's actually split between figures I just have around as part of a collection and figures I like to pose/mess with/carry around in my pocket (it was Mal Reynolds, though, and I was dressed as Kaylee for Hallowe'en...). And, of course, the action figures my friends put in rude poses whenever I leave the room for two minutes...

So, I understand there being collectors who play/have emotional attachments, and collectors who display/don't have as much emotional attachment, and neither side bothers me. The only problem I have is when someone on one extreme side treats the other side as somehow less valid. That kind of tweaks me.

=^__^=
Anneko

 

Yeah, that's... odd. I understand the reason for it in museums and such is mainly because we're talking about hundreds of people every single day for years if not decades. That's gotta be one wow doll to draw in that volume of attention. Admittedly, I don't know the research on how long it takes for something to turn, or if it's a super-testy resin involved, so it could be more rational than it sounds, to be fair.

I wouldn't bring my Iplehouse 1st gen RealSkin doll to an outdoor meet, for instance, but would consider it for an indoor one -- so I might be just as bad.

 

This. Also, in regards to dressing/painting one's dolls "appropriately," it would only give me a twitch if somebody was all, "Oh I just put some crayola on her face because it doesn't really matter it's just a doll," because I can't fathom spending $300+ on something and not having respect for it. By the same token, I think it's awesome to look through the workshop and see pictures of progress in painting and sewing for dolls. It's not so much about the finished result as it is the effort and time put into it, ya know? Whether you've spent three weeks sewing something phenomenal for your doll to wear or three weeks saving to buy the perfect outfit, it's something you love and are proud of. That's what makes these dolls valuable in my opinion.

 

1) Setting the above two issues (scalping and damaging dolls), is there anything else that you feel someone who buys dolls should or should not be doing with them that constitutes proper "enjoyment" or "appreciation" or "love" for the doll? Do you feel that people are obligated to do any of the following?
As others have said, obligated is a strong word in this context.

- Buy or make really nice clothing for the doll (i.e. best you can afford)?

Nope. If that's your thing, fine. If it isn't, also fine.

- Invest in a professional faceup for the doll, rather than a properly done (i.e. no magic markers, not awful) but kind of amateurish one?

Good grief no (I'd be in trouble if I thought that )

- Interact or "play" with the doll somehow - by hugging it, making up stories about it, talking to it, taking it to meets, photographing it regularly, etc.?

No. I have to admit I do struggle to see things from a pure collector point of view, but that's because growing up I was never really exposed to that way of thinking. Even my stepfather plays with his collection of old animatronics from time to time.

2) What about people who buy the doll and then just leave it in its box (where it is safe from any physical harm) and look at it once in a while? Do you think that constitutes a valid "enjoyment" of the doll?

If they're getting enjoyment from it then yes. I had vaguely thought about doing that myself, then realised I was too lazy. Plus, having them to hand is useful if I need an artist's or photographer's model...


3) Do your answers change if it's a limited doll?

Not in the slightest. I don't treat limited editions of anything any different to non LEs, so I'm hardly going to insist anyone else does!


4) Do your answers change if it's a fullset doll that comes with everything, so there's no need to customize, buy clothes, or get a faceup and wig for the doll?

No. If people want to change things around on a fullset, that's up to them. If I ever got a fullset, I'd be unlikely to leave it exactly as it arrived for very long.


4) Do your answers change if it's a lot of dolls? For purposes of the question, let's assume that "a lot" of dolls means approximately 10 dolls or more.

Nope

As I've only just started reading this thread, I've only just noticed this comment:

Which made me giggle a little and think "Will it blend?" Not that I'd want to see them try it (or try it myself, for that matter)

 

I don't really get riled up about this stuff, since I'm guilty of ignoring my dolls for weeks sometimes if I'm busy, and it took me over a year to finally work up the courage to take my first doll out of his box to display him. (hah hah yeah... kind of ashamed of that one >>) But I do try to make it up to them!

I think the only thing that gets under my skin a little bit is a bad face-up. Not amateurish... a bad one. You know, those ones that weren't originally intended to be gothic but somehow turned out that way because the artist (term used loosely) kept messing up and kept making the paint heavier and heavier. The ones with pinkish "blood" on their chins and around their mouths and mismatched eyebrows.

But honestly, I can't see how that person could enjoy their doll if it was all messed up like that, so... that's probably my problem with it. Usually this is seen with the girls that have only one or two dolls, though, and they get incredibly defensive. >>