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People calling your doll Goth/Emo/Etc. when they arent?

Feb 6, 2010

    1. How does it make you feel when someone sees your doll either in person or online and refers to them as something they TOTALLY arent. Such as, emo/goth/gay/etc.? Does it bother you when people assume or lump your character(s) in to a catagory that isnt anywhere near what the character/doll really is?

      I ask this because i recently recieved a comment that said along the lines of "me and my friend LOVE emo boys, but we're both in relationships but then i saw your dolls and thought we could get an emo boy doll instead! what are some that are under $100? etc. etc." and i couldn't help but feel a little struck by this. I know my boys are a little dark in my photos but their characters are far from the label 'emo' if you know them & their story well enough.

      So my questions are. - Has this form of confusion ever happened to you? - How did/do you take/handle constant categorization of your character?

      Also adding, i linked this person to DoA and Junkyspot, i wasn't rude back in any way, i was just unsure how to take the 'compliment'?

      P.S. Mods i didnt see a thread like this but if there is one please feel free to remove mine.
    2. the price mentioned shows they are ignorant... honestly you should just give them a link to DOA and tell them to spend some time researching. When you put allot of effort into something you want people to view things in the way you present them but really we can't have any control on where other people come from only our own response. ;) Good way to approach life in general too being there there will always be people in it.
    3. If my doll looks like whatever they're calling it, I wouldn't expect them to research my dolls to find out the backstory and personality, etc...If I dressed my girl in a frilly lolita dress, and someone called her a lolita but she's really a tomboy or something...well how are they supposed to know that? For instance one of my dolls has a grumpy face and facial scars, so if someone called him "emo" well he looks the part. If they called him something he doesn't look like such as a fairy princess I'd just laugh and think "where the heck did they get that from?"
    4. While it can be a bit upsetting to have your doll lumped in a group like that (I can't tell you how many times my boy doll was called a "fag" despite having no qualities that read girly, at least to me. He was called thus only becuase he was a doll.), you should take it as a backwards compliment.

      This person was inspired by your dolls, finds their styling attractive (even if what they are seeing isn't what you were aiming for), and wants to create something similar.

      Although, it's worth mentioning that, with the exceptions of smaller Obitsus and Volks Dolfies, they don't have too many nice options for dolls under $100 that have the customization BJDs have, and those are an entirely different beast than what we have on DoA.
    5. hmm... i wouldn't be offended, i don't think. it's just because they don't know anything about them, right? but i can understand why that would be upsetting. it's just like someone approaching you and saying "my, you're looking very emo today, did you get that shirt from hot topic?" without knowing who you really are/generalizing you for your looks/clothing. "don't judge a book by its cover" and all that. ;)

      though the "under $100" made me laugh a bit. usually i just direct people to dream of doll (where i got my boy) and then they realize how much it really costs to own a bjd.

    6. Mm i see all your points. Well i wasn't really upset with it or anything, just a little unnerved simply because i took it as if someone told me that i was something i was not because one style is similar to another, if that makes sense at all. I did link this person to DoA and Junkyspot (ive edited my original post to reflect that).
      I just wanted to know if other's have delt with this form of confusion and how they took it/handled it.
    7. I wouldn't let it get to you. Sure, it's definitely annoying to have your doll lumped into some archetype or "label" they weren't meant to represent, but like others have pointed out, most outsiders won't take the time to delve into the hobby community and look up your doll's backstory. And it's undeniable that stereotypes hold power and a pinch of truth. There's a reason "labels" and "stereotypes" formed and still exist - because there will always be something or someone that will fit that sterotype's criteria to some extent.

      But anyways, I don't take such comments to heart. In specific regards to your experience, think of it this way; They must be pretty damn superficial people if they want a doll for such superficial reasons. And superficial people typically make instant assumptions on a basis of the appearance of someone or something. ;)
    8. This is kinda like artist's intent vs. public interpretation. Customizing and styling one's dolls and developing their character are very personal and creative activities that I would consider a type of art. When someone looks at your art they are going to interpret it based on their own biases and beliefs. Depending on the person and how much time you want to give to the situation you can use it as an educational opportunity or just shrug it off and point them elsewhere.
    9. I would be extreamly offended if my dolls were called emo because that scene is just beyond annoying to me. They obviously dont know anything about dolls if they are asking for one under $100. I would just say "I dont know where youd ge tthe idea my dolls were 'emo' but yah good luck with finding one under $100" >>;
    10. As opposed to those of us who buy dolls in order to...what, cure cancer? Rescue orphans in Haiti?
    11. Lets not form some kind of arguement here this is for discussion not debate. She is simply stating superficial in the form of the person who commented me wanting and emo boy doll because she cant have an emo boy boyfriend irl.​
    12. Heh! This is the story of my life! Whether it's art, or fashion, or jewelry, there's always someone who just isn't ... um... an "enthusiast" enough to get it (I won't say the word I'd usually use in such a place, as the muggles wouldn't understand, as usual).
      Oh well. Get used to it, is all I can say

    13. Has this form of confusion ever happened to you? - How did/do you take/handle constant categorization of your character?

      My Mono, Monte, has been constantly mistaken for a 'vampire' doll, most likely because of the shaded makeup, shiny shirt, and long black trenchcoat. I, personally, am not a fan of vampires, so the constant association has gotten tiresome. I simply say that no, he's not a vampire, 'if anything, he's a vampire hunter ;D'

      People interpret looks different ways. There's really no way to get away from the misinterpretation entirely, so I just let it roll off.
    14. I certainly wouldn't be offended. Though, admittedly, I have a notoriously thick skin and it's pretty difficult to offend me.
      If I've worked hard at creating something with a certain image in mind, (ie a goth boy) and a person doesn't 'get it', (calls said goth boy 'emo' etc) the most constructive thing I can do is ask why they think that, take a step back and consider the validity of their opinion. Either their reason is valid and they've helped me by pointing out a flaw, or they're off base...in which case...why be offended? Inform them, point them kindly in the right direction. Who knows, you might even enable someone into the dollieh world and make a new friend.
    15. I apologize if I offended you, Nefla. It wasn't my intention to start any kind of argument. :sweat HatterInsanity, thank you for clarifying, that is exactly what I meant.
    16. Agreeing with the people who say they wouldn't be offended by something like this. The person doesn't know your character, and really who cares what someone else thinks? Whether positive or negative, it's not really going to affect how you see your doll or your character (or at least it shouldn't) and your opinion is the only one that matters when it comes to your things.

      (And as everyone else has said, good luck getting a nice anything for under $100 in this hobby, champ... :lol: Can't see them being too successful there~)
    17. I know it can be really annoying when something you've put a lot of effort and time into isn't seen the way you've presented it by other people... but try not to let it get to you! From the sounds of things those people weren't actually out to make you feel bad about your dolls, so, don't feel bad or confused :) Just enjoy your dolls!
    18. My dolls have too many guns - no one ever calls them emo. ^__^ It makes my heart glad.

      EDIT: Someone did once call me a "proud emo," though, for owning the dolls. Now, anyone who knows me knows that I am most definitely not emo, or goth, or really much of anything. I'm a somewhat reclusive, relatively un-emotional (I prefer the term "controlled") gun-nut who collects books and dolls, enjoys police drama and sci-fi/fantasy television shows, is perhaps overly comfortable with physical violence of the tasers-and-billy-clubs kind, and ties people to hospital beds for a living. In retrospect, it was actually kind of funny, though at the time I was a bit annoyed (though mostly because they had written it on my name tag on my locker, so I had to make a new name tag).
    19. I don't think it would bother me that much, really. I've not had that happen, though occasionally some one will be confused about gender. But really, strangers aren't going to know anything about their characters, so if they make an honest mistake I'm not going to get upset with them--and we are talking honest mistakes, not people intentionally being nasty. You can't expect people who know very little about bjds, the community, or your personal dolls to be able to get everything right off the tops of their heads.
    20. It doesn't bother me. I mean they are just giving opinions, and if they are complimenting your doll, then I dont take offence, their intentions are good. A little correction can be made as to say "well actually...its a boy not a girl." Or something of the sort.

      If they are being insulting I ignore the comment, why give them the satisfaction of knowing that the comment irked me?

      If I made a mistake or an assumption and was wrong, and was corrected I'd understand, and accept I was wrong, however if I wasn't corrected and blasted/yelled at, I'd in turn get annoyed. Since I didn't know, sometimes you can't expect people to see your chars as clearly as you do.