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People trying to talk you out of buying a BJD?

Apr 28, 2016

    1. I'm wondering if anyone else has people try and talk them out of buying a doll, whether it be subtle or more out there about their intentions. I told my mother last night that I was putting a doll and body on layby and I'll be getting a beautiful event head with it, so basically I'm getting two dolls as my first BJD. I was making a joke about one of the sculpts actually having the same name as my brother, and yet instead of laughing she began to go on a tangent about wasting money and bills and everything :/

      Like it lasted for at least ten or more minutes until I had enough and left the room. I just wanted to know if this had happened to anyone else and how they dealt with it? Did you guys still get the doll? Did it end up in a huge argument?

      I still really want to go through with my order, yet now I feel like I shouldn't and should instead listen to my mum to avoid any more arguments. Even if I had already triple checked my finances to make sure I wouldn't be short.
      • x 2
    2. If you like the doll and were initially happy to order it, I personally think you should continue with the order. Order it, then when it comes, hopefully your mother sees how much you like it and will lay off.

      There are many people (relatives being the worst, usually!) that think dolls are a waste of money - they don't understand the hobby because it doesn't make them happy, yet fail to see that just because it's not for them, then maybe that's okay, as long as they realize it makes us happy! ("Your hobbies aren't my hobbies and that's okay!") Does that make sense? :3nodding:

      The first doll I bought (a Doll-Zone X-3 back in the day, lol) I had a few relatives make passive aggressive remarks, jokes, and even blatantly tell me I'd be wasting my money. Yet the same people went on to buy expensive alcohol, purses, clothing... Largely expendable things, lol. Yet I'm okay with them doing that! The problem is them not being okay with what I did.

      Haters gonna hate no matter what, might as well do what you like! :D
    3. I had the same problem when I brought my Hot Toys and reborn dolls, just people judging me and trying to talk me out of them. And because I have the biggest urge to please people so that they like me (Gotta love mental illness >__<) There was many times that I didn't get something because of peoples comments. And I missed out on so many beautiful things because of that, and it's turned in to me kinda resenting them for their comments a little.

      That makes perfect sense, and I totally agree with you, it's just hard when every time something comes up the comments start >_< I won't lie and say I'm not nervous about buying them, they are my first BJD and starting a new hobby is always nerve wracking, but I am in love with the sculpts and the personalities that are already starting to form for them.

      And I think 26 cm and 45 ish cm is a perfect starter height for me, seeing as my grail doll is 60 + cm xD
    4. @jabberwocky92 ahh no, I completely understand. I used to go out of my way to please others as well, constantly trying to fly under the radar so I wouldn't upset anyone.

      But I stopped that completely a few years ago. I am vastly more happy and smarter for it (allowing myself to be interested in things and research what I want). It's hard, especially when you live with the person who disagrees with you, but either hopefully you won't live with them forever, or hopefully they'll make a mental compromise. :kitty2

      And yesss, smaller dolls are cute starters!
    5. @merrymelody

      Thankfully I no longer live with my parents, which has made things so much easier for certain things, especially when it comes to displaying my stuff. But it's made things harder as in they completely ignore all my choices in favour of freaking out over bills, which are paid and such lol.
      I think they are just being parents trying to make sure I don't get in debt or such. But it makes it harder to make the choices because you are like 'but what if they are right?! What if I make that mistake?!' lol.

      Oh my god I'm looking for clothes for them now and I'm just like :D
    6. My husband loves to tell me that I shouldn't get a doll or make plans to get one. He never wants my money or anything, he just thinks I like to waste it. It took me forever but I got him to see that is no different than buying books, videogames, and whatnot.
      I feel like as long as each of us is paying our bills and we have the money, its nobodies business what we do with our extra funds.
      • x 2
    7. If all the bills are covered and you can afford it, then what's the problem? You checked it more than once remember ;) Everybody spends money on a hobby! Unfortunately people tend to have an opinion when it comes to hobbies they don't understand....and they will tell you that over and over again.... Don't let them spoil your fun, because the fun is priceless :D
    8. My mom is/was really reluctant about it too (I ordered a doll leaves Kira) but I placated her by pointing out that resale value decreases very slowly in this hobby; if I needed to sell the doll to pay a bill it liquid by be too much of a financial loss and she seemed satisfied.
    9. Well, when I told my mother that I wanted to save up for dolls that cost a minimum of $150 USD she just gave a shocked look then recovered saying "as long as you save up for it with your money" so it actually went down pretty well with her about my hobby but I dont think I can say the same if the rest of my family find out. :sweat

      But as everyone has said, if the rent is paid and there's food in the kitchen, whats the bid deal with you treating yourself? In my opinion, if everyone can waste hundreds upon thousands of dollars on extravagant items like alcohol, cigarettes and designer clothing then why can't you buy yourself a nice bjd every once in a while. :roll:
    10. I figure if my brother can spend $900 on a computer, I can spend $800 on a doll. Each item gives us our own form of enjoyment and since we can both afford it, why not? My parents have stopped pestering me about it because I am careful not to cut into my savings and I have finally made them see how happy dolls make me.
      • x 1
    11. It took me about five years after discovering the hobby before I finally bought a doll because of judgment and flat out threats. During those five years, I was either not working or working part time, and trying to save up enough for a Volks doll. I did the budget and figured out that I could manage it using gift money, extra cash and my savings. When I told my mom, who is generally supportive of my artistic ideas and projects, she was shocked. She told me that was ridiculous to pay that much for a doll, and that if I could spend $500 on a doll, then I could afford to support myself and better be ready to do just that if I brought that thing home. She also told me not to tell my dad because he would take it even worse than she did.

      So I waited. I waited until I was out of the house, out of school, 11 days before I got married to finally order my first doll, and Angel of Dream mini. My husband and sister were very supportive, in fact my sister also joined the hobby. My parents were still skeptical and thought I was wasting money. So did some friends and coworkers, but since it didn't affect them and most had their own expensive hobby, they tolerated it.

      Now, my parents have seen that I can balance. I have multiple dolls, but bills are paid on time, there's food in the kitchen and I have never asked them to help me with money since I've been on my own. They see that I can have an expensive hobby and still be responsible and mature. They still don't think the prices are reasonable, but they accept that this is my thing. Daddy even helps build them furniture and my mom has gone to a few doll meets with me and helped with sewing and crafting for them.

      Long story short, yes, I was judged rather harshly, but in the end it all worked out.
      • x 2
    12. This is exactly what I had to tell my husband to get my doll. However, my mom was the one pushing me to get one. :)
    13. So i have a funny story that deals with this. I asked my mom about getting a doll and she was all for it. I suffer from depression and my girl helps me keep my mind off of whatever is bothering me. She says as long as my bills are paid im free to spend my money however I want. My sister and step dad kinda dont understand but my sis decided to get one too so she can understand better. I told my co workers and they flipped! Everytime I got in the break room and tell one of my friendss about my doll this one lady jumps me about how I should be saving and blah blah blah. I tell her I do save and that I dont just go blow X amount on a doll but I have a plan but suddenly i need a man not dolls and all that crap. Moral of the story dont let them discourage you. Its your money do what you want!
    14. My fiance was skeptical at first, but he understands it's no different than investing in a gaming PC or games, which is what he does. $60 for a new game isn't that different from a new doll outfit. Granted, I don't think he still entirely understands, but...

      One of my friends plays Warhammer 40k, and spends similar amounts of money on armies to build and paint. He understood completely. XD

      You do you. If you enjoy it, and you have your finances in line, then go for it, is what I say.
    15. I had to persuade my fiance but he never tried talking me out of it. We tend to do this barter thing anyway, so if there's something I want to buy and he's been wanting to get something that's equally a bit pricey than we check our finances and get both, that way we both get to treat ourselves.
      However I can imagine that if I still lived at home my mum would definately not have understood my wanting to spend the money I did on a 'doll', this despite the fact that she replaces her smartphone constantly and would always overshop on groceries XD
      Parents are fun that way
    16. It's still a relatively unknown hobby (well where I live anyway) and some people don't, and will never see beauty in dolls, regardless of how much or how little you are spending on them. I justify the price to myself because I save money and my health by not smoking, drinking, gambling etc.

      If you are getting pestered by someone, I think a good way to shut them up is to simply reply with "So what is your hobby?". It's always amazing to see that many people have no real hobby of their own.
      • x 1
    17. I'm really luck as everyone who knows about this hobby has been supportive and has never been any different. If you want to buy a doll, then that is your personal choice and you should let the options of others get to you if you didn't ask for them.
    18. @jabberwocky92 I know how you feel .... In my case .... My GF does not allow me to buy anymore BJD's, because she things they are to expensive -_- .
      But it's a hobby and I think you should what you like.... It's your own money ;) ... Sometimes I just wanna buy a BJD without her knowing ....
    19. Thank you guys so much for all your amazing comments and support. I decided to just go for it but I actually got a Doll Legends Luna full set. My parents of course gave me a lecture but I had already paid the layaway deposit before I told them so they couldn't guilt trip me out of the purchase.

      Funny enough today in my uni class for philosophy we were talking about being materialistic and because I don't lie I said confidently that in some aspects yes I am materialistic and told them about Luna and my reborn dolls. After the two hours of arguments and being asked if I cared about the suffering in the world I realised I should have kept my mouth shut :doh

      Apparently no matter how much time/money you give to charities/volunteering if you buy something nice and expensive for yourself your morals can be questioned LOL!!
    20. I'm not going to lie, I did that with one of my reborn dolls and my father. He only realised after I had brought it, the argument that caused was way worse then if I had told him I brought it lol. Now I tell him every large purchase I make and get the lecture over with earlier lol