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People Who Should NOT Have Dolls?

Sep 12, 2007

    1. For example, suppose you had a friend who gets very nice paychecks (much better than yours, in fact!), and so -should- be able to buy a doll just fine.

      However, from being friends with this person, you know that they're quite irresponsible with money -- that entire check will be gone by the weekend, spent on things that they'll lose interest in quickly, and they'll spend the rest of the time until their next check bumming dollars off their friends so they can buy food that's unnecessarily expensive anyway.

      They see your dolls (or have spoken with you about dolls), then one day come up to you and go, "I've decided to buy myself a doll! Isn't that great? :D"

      What, honestly, do you tell them? Can you, in good conscience, give them an honest, "Good for you! :D", or is it a bit half-hearted? Or do you try and discourage them, whether or not they'll actually listen?

      On the other hand, say you know someone to be responsible with money, but irresponsible with their possessions. Any doll that might come into their possession would certainly be dirty and chipped within a month. In a year, unrecognizeable. But they REALLY want one.

      Do you try to intervene for the doll's sake (I know it'd be hard for me to know that a doll was doomed! D: ), or do you not say a word -- it's their money to spend how they want, and then their possession to treat how they want?

      Also, any similar scenarios you can think of are fair game in this thread.

      EDIT: And for those who seem to think I'm asking for advice (or maybe it's just your personal posting style -- I'm just covering the bases here xD), this is a hypothetical situation, I'm not asking for advice. xD.
       
    2. Eh, I say it's their money. If they want to waste it, it's better that they learn their lesson because they probably won't want to listen to a speech telling them they can't. If they have the money, they can do what they want with it, and that includes buying a doll. Although it is a real shame if they get a super limited doll and end up breaking it or tossing it in a closet to collect dust forever :doh I can't think of anything you could do short of lecturing them to stop them from buying a doll....
       
    3. I don't think there's much you can say or do--it's their money and if they buy the doll, their doll. If someone might have some money issues you can always point them to some more of the affordable options. As for scenerio #2, just talk to the person about what resin is like and basic doll care. The thing is, there will always be people who do not handle their dolls in the same way you do, and it's really their choice. At some point you just have to take a couple of deep breaths and just let it go.
       
    4. Maybe I'm just oversensitive that way, but it's always killed me to see stuffed animals or dolls being neglected, when someone else could've treated them properly. D:
       
    5. I can see where you're coming from. I have friends like that, and I'd cringe if they suddenly decided they wanted a BJD. However, I don't think anyone has the right to dictate whether or not someone should have a doll. In the end, you can't keep someone from buying a doll, it's their money and they're going to do what they want with it. I don't think anyone has the right to say "You shouldn't be allowed to own that doll.", because they spent their own money on it. Also, you can't dictate how they're going to treat the doll. It is, after all, just a doll. And while it's a shame to see one being treated badly, it's not our business. Although I admit it'd be disappointing if she were to buy a limited or one-off doll...
       
    6. Well, I don't mean so much DEMANDING that they don't buy it or else...xD I know there's not much you can do in that way, short of keeping them away from the internet and any place where dolls might be sold...which I'm pretty sure falls under "unlawful restraint". xD

      Nor do I mean straight out saying "you shouldn't have that".

      I was thinking more along the lines of would you try to talk them out of it, presenting your reasons in a friendly manner?
       
    7. Reminds me of when I was growing up.... Just let them do what they want with their money by buying the doll, and once they have disserviced it they will sell it to you as a project:thumbup

      Sera~
       
    8. it's their money and their doll, really.
      I don't think any of us have the right really to deny someone, do we? You can't really know what is in someone's heart either. They may really love the doll. everyone is different.
      and it is just a doll in the final analysis. :\ it might hurt your friendship if you tell your friend you think she is that irresponsible that she doesn't "deserve" to buy a doll.
       
    9. Oh, agreed. But like I said before, I mean more in the sense of, "Are you sure this is the best idea? Look at (other thing they've bought and let gather dust), wouldn't it be better to save the money?"

      I'm not saying to beat them over the head screaming, "NO DOLLIE FOR YOU!", but maybe more of a...

      ...ugh, that first example is kind of a parental approach I guess, isn't it? x_X
       
    10. I think I'd kindly suggest to them that they might tire of it aa quickly as they did their other 'loves' (or offer some guidence on how to care for their doll) instead of saying "No doll for joo!"
       
    11. So long as you know they are paying their bills and able to take care of their own basic necessities (Food, shelter, enough clothing to not be naked, anyone or anything depending on them for survival getting the same) they can do whatever they wish with their money or posessions.

      If they AREN'T taking care of those basic living needs for them OR children/pets in their care then I can see having a conversation with them about perhaps not getting a doll, but that's really the only time I would find it even remotely acceptable to bring up how or why people spend their own money on toys.
       
    12. I've got friends like that... >_>; But I'd be more like "uhm, hey it's expensive are you SURE you want it or are you going to leave it like the rest of your junk at the back of the closet after a week? D:"

      ...and if they insist, i'd just say like "...well if you don't want it anymore, i'll buy it from you? ^^;"

      But overall its their money and they do what they want... but i'd probably tell them to think about it for at least a month. XD
       
    13. If they have the money to buy a doll and they want to buy a doll, it's none of your business what they do. It's not your job to critique your friend's spending habits, for one. I'd be pretty offended if one of my friends decided to tell me what I ought to do with my money unless I'd specifically asked their advice.

      For another, it's definitely not your place to tell someone how they should enjoy their hobbies. As long as they're having fun it doesn't matter if their doll is a mess, does it? Dolls are not alive, they don't get hungry or lonely or hurt. One of the things that's kept me in this hobby is that when I get tired of it I can ignore my dolls for a month or two and come back to them and have them be just like I left them. I can put as much or as little time into it as I want. If I had to interact with my dolls every day for their wellbeing I'd have sold them ages ago.
       
    14. I don't really think it's anyones business to tell people how to spend their money. Even if someone does ruin a doll within a year, they probably at least enjoyed it during that time. And if they have the money to spare, I think you should let them do with it what they want. Just because their attitude towards money and possessions isn't the same as yours doesn't make it bad. I have a friend like the first person you described - doesn't think twice about spending money (loses $20 all the time, leaves her key in the door of her house and complains when they get robbed, got a bike stolen and didn't think twice) but that's obviously how they live their life, and it's their decision. Until they specifically ask you for help, I wouldn't say anything. Sometimes saying stuff like that to people can make you come across as a bit of a know-it-all.
       
    15. My, my, aren't we being a little judgemental here? These are DOLLS, not children or pets. If someone can afford to buy one then it's nobody's business but their's. So what if they leave it sitting on a shelf or end up storing it in the back of their closet? It's their money, their doll, their business & no one else's.

      We tend to anthropomorphise our dolls but really, it's none of our business what anyone else does with one. Now if it were a dog or cat or any other type of pet, sure, I'd be up in arms. But it's not, it's an inanimate object.
       
    16. Eh, I'm probably someone like that. I go through many many hobbies which I then leave as junk around the house.

      4th doll and counting. It's only my 2nd year, though. Who knows, someone who "doesn't deserve a doll" might actually find dolls to be a life-long hobby?
       
    17. While it is a sad thing to see a doll ignored, or broken, the only thing you can really do, is try to educate them. Give them tips on how to properly take care of the doll. Show them how to maintain it. You never really know how someone is going to take care of a BJD until you see it happen.

      All in all, it's their money, and their choice. The only thing you can do, is hope for the best.
       
    18. In the first case, of the person who is irresponsible with money, I'd say it'd be okay to give your opinion if you don't overdo it. I have a friend who spends money like wild too. It's not my business to nag her about it or try to make her change, but we're friends after all so I don't have to pretend that I approve if she asks me. Of course, if such a friend were to do something really reckless like go into debt for a lame purchase, I would speak up. Otherwise, that sort of talk is really best reserved for parents; you should be able to be honest with your friends, but you shouldn't try to reform them.

      In the second case...well, it's only a doll. If it bugs you, I'd advise you to try to avoid doing doll stuff with her, so neither of you will be aggravated over your different views on the hobby. ;)
       
    19. I Been in that situation and told them what I thought.. You can't force them to not buy stuff but you can tell them your honest pov.

      I told her that it was a waste of money since everything she buys gets discarded within a week and she thans goes to family and friends asking for money as she is broke again through a purchase like that.
      And since she always complains about money issues she should first pay back her loans and debts before buying something she saw for the first time two days ago.

      If they have the money than it's there own choice. However when a purchase like that leads to having issues with money or forces you go into debt with friends than that person should perhaps reconsider.
       
    20. Let them learn their own lessons. They will look back on it and realize one day. They can re-sell it later anyway. However if they are neglecting themselves or other responsibilities, at least talk to them.