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Regretting Getting Involved in BJDs?

Mar 6, 2011

    1. There are plenty of wonderful reasons to be involved with BJDs. They facilitate and encourage all kinds of art - face-ups, modding, clothing design, photography, stories... BJDs allow us to express ourselves, are fun to play with, dress, and cuddle, and are just plain beautiful.

      But, have there ever been times when you've thought, "I wish I'd never gotten into this hobby?" :(

      It's something I've felt more than once, and recently also had a friend admit to me. Although I felt badly for her, I was also somehow comforted to know that I wasn't alone. Therefore, I thought it might be helpful for others to discuss it as well.

      For those who don't understand why one might regret this hobby, please consider the level of attachment some people have to their dolls combined with:

      • the rarity of certain sculpts and how difficult it can be to buy the one you've fallen for
      • how easy it is to scratch a face-up, break a finger, rip limited clothes, or otherwise damage a BJD vs. the difficulty of getting replacements
      • the high cost of dolls and accessories putting a strain on your wallet
      • the difficulty of face-ups or modding, and failed attempts causing stress - "I'll never be any good!"
      • negative reactions from family and friends (bullying from non-doll fans)
      • unfortunate encounters at doll meets or online (bullying from doll fans)
      • etc.
      Please share your thoughts and feelings below. :aheartbea

      Disclaimer: This thread is not at all intended to discourage anyone from BJDs. I love my doll, and have no intention of leaving the hobby or selling him. I realize that every hobby has the potential to be stressful or invite regret. I simply wanted to give others a chance to express their feelings. Mods - If this thread ends up causing a problem, please feel free to delete it.
    2. No, I've never regretted it. Of course, over time it's possible for people to decide a particular hobby isn't for them or need to stop and really critically look at what they've been doing, and that's ok. It happens.

      However, money can be saved up, a lot of the sculpts I like aren't really all that hard to get, and I've always found bjds to hold up very well and be pretty sturdy. I do a lot of my own faceups, and while I'll never be pro at it, I feel that I do a good enough job to be happy with my own dolls as well as be able fix any oopsies that might occur. My family doesn't mind my hobby and I've met so many nice people through bjds. Sometimes little frustrations come up here and there, but that happens with just about anything.
    3. My regret is that I don't have the time I'd like to devote to doll projects. The dolls are my de-stressors--I don't worry that my faceups stink (and some surely do) or that I can't afford the limited fullsets that I would love to own, but aren't willing to save or work harder for (because there is that trade-off of time for money, and sometimes I need the time and the money for RL stuff ;) , but overall I find the dolls and the community are very rewarding, more than any other hobby I have had.

      Edit--perhaps I regret the space the dolls eat up, they do take up a lot of room in my small living space!
    4. Well I don't know that I could add much to what fishcake said. It pretty much sums up the entirety!

      I am inclined to fret over stuff ("oh REALLY?" say the people who know me best ;) ) so I used to really let it get to me when I couldn't do faceups as well as I'd like. At this point it's mostly gotten to the stage where I know I can try again... if I can find time. That's the biggest annoyance; 45 unfinished doll projects and not enough hours in a day.
    5. I don't regret getting involved in the hobby, and I never would- I've met a lot of really great friends that I would never have met if not for BJDs. I know that whatever else happens with the dolls or being part of the hobby, I'll still have those friends, so how can I regret something like that? :)

      However, if I do have regrets it usually involves a specific doll or character that I'm trying to bring home: such as having regrets that I bought X sculpt without seeing owner pictures or not knowing what the body was like. And that's led to a few dolls getting sold over the years, but most of them have ended up staying.
    6. Sometimes I regret getting into this hobby, I'll admit it. I spent a fortune getting my collection started but on top of that I find myself in the forums a lot more than I want to be. Mostly because Im not happy with mu dolls until they are 100% done and perfect, so I spend time every day scouring the MP for the last few (rare and expensive) pieces that I need.

      Of course being able to complete a project and have the pride that goes along with it makes it worth it in the end but after months of looking for one stupid piece to complete a project... I definitely start to feel like Im wasting my time, energy, and money.
    7. I regret getting into the hobby because of people mostly. I'm in no danger of leaving the hobby or selling my things, I'm just tired of the rude people and dolly pissing contests.
    8. i have only regretted spending money on dolls when i should have waited. i think i've learned my lesson with that though...

      but no, i get a lot of joy from this hobby, and have never regretted getting into it, (though i can understand of course why someone would)
    9. I regret mainly buying clothes or wigs that I have a hard time selling back. When I started this hobby I had the tendency to buy excess without considering how much I'd actually use the things I'd bought..now I have no idea what to do with them. But no, I don't necessarily regret getting into BJDs. I love my dolls far too much to even come close to such a thought; when I was diagnosed with major depression I found that my dolls are actually a bit of my lifeline.
    10. I haven't regretted getting into the hobby one bit. Like others have stated, its a de-stressor and I just LOVE looking at my dolls. If I were to regret anything, it'd be rushing into buying a doll BEFORE thinking things through. You know, letting myself fall to the "gotta have!" impulse. However, with time and will power I've gotten that under control. :)
    11. A few cons of getting into BJDs:

      1) The crazy amount of monies I put into this hobby so far.. and its only one year.
      2) The amount of time I spend surfing BJD-related stuff.
      3) The nerve-wrecking feeling when Im trying to get the item or doll I want
      4) Friends thinking I might have gone insane


      1) The joys my crew gives me. Not just my crew, but lovely pics from other owners
      2) I can happily impose my anime/manga obsession on them
      3) The people I got to know via BJD whom I can fangirl with

      After weighing all the points. Nope, I do not regret getting into BJDs at all. ^^
    12. I have regretted it at times, to be honest. Money is not something I can throw around here since I'm unemployed and physically ill and unable to BECOME employed due to such issues. It doesn't seem like a problem, until I get into a certain thought pattern.

      "Hmm, let's see, I just spend $750 on ____ doll with accessories. "

      Then I stop and think.

      "Oh my God, that's almost $1000! That's money I could have spent on __________ (insert important things here)".

      Clothes for myself, bill payments, down payments, a vacation, trip to the spa, a few dinner nights with friends.....the list goes on. It's a lot of money I could have used for other purposes. Possibly more fulfilling purposes.

      I regret the cost sometimes, especially since a lot of my doll accessories are purchased for me from friends who, don't have a job either. It puts me into a certain "guilt" cycle that makes me feel really upset and depressed for quite a long time.

      DO I regret getting my doll?

      I'm honestly uncertain at this point. She is currently incomplete. But I don't think I'll forget this bond that I have in the pit of my stomach when I see her, or the tears in my eyes and the joy I felt when I first opened her box. That doesn't have a price tag on it.

      But It still makes me think.
    13. Admittedly sometimes yes i do feel like this. Mostly because i am only a student haha I really cannot afford to be spending
      any money i get on dolls :(( Alot of times i do find myself thinking "Man i really do wish i hadn't gotten into this..." because well at the end of the day all my money is gone xD And since i rarely have money haha. But at the end of the daaay I do love my dolls :') And they do make me smile alot when i see them :PP even if i do have these moments every now and then. :))
    14. I have only regretted it once. Last month, my cat got sick and I didn't know what was wrong with her. Just before that, I HAD had money in savings but I blew it all on doll clothes. And THEN I had some extra money when I got paid and used it to buy an expensive wig. So, I had HAD the money merely two days BEFORE she got sick. Then she got sick and I had no clue what to do. It was, honestly, a moment where I felt really dumb and like I should never have gotten into this hobby. But, then, through friends help, I got her to the vet and everything was fine, she was just stressed. Now I have come up with a way to start a savings plan (just in case this happens again) and to not go out of control with spending. After all, as I thought on it, it wasn't this hobby's fault I ran out of money, I just didn't spend to my means.

      So, that was the only time. As long as I strive to not let THAT situation happen again, I find I'm pretty happy in this hobby. I love my dolls so much, have met some great people, and it's bringing out my artistic side again which I have sorely missed. So, yeah. Hopefully no more regrets. We'll see once it's been more than 6 months. XD
    15. I regretted it quite a bit at the beginning. The do-it-yourself aspects of the hobby are what appealed to me, and I didn't expect my first attempts at face-ups or at sewing to be so hideously bad! And the default eyes that came with my Minifee were way too large for her, so they made the whole eye socket look black and gave her this creepy insectoid look. I would look at her and think, "I spent hundreds of dollars on this?!"

      I guess my expectations were just too high; I didn't expect as steep of a learning curve. But after getting her some smaller eyes, bumbling through a few awful faceups until they got better, and finding some sewing patterns, I don't have any regrets. I've also met a lot of fun people at the local meetups, and it's turned into a really fulfilling hobby. However, it took me a good six or nine months before I really started to enjoy my first doll.
    16. You are scaring me. Just kidding. I'm very new to BJD collecting and to this forum. I love seeing all of the different BJD's and the artists interpretations. Made my first BJD Steampunk outfit. It was not for beginners and was an "Experience in Terror", but I'll be starting another one soon.
    17. My biggest regret, I think, is that bjd fandom makes me go back to highschool. In the rest of my life, I'm an adult, peer pressure doesn't matter to me. But I think this hobby skews very young - there are really clearly a lot of people who care intensely about having the "right" company's doll, "right" opinions, "right" approach to this hobby, in a way adults have mostly overcome but school and college kids bring to having the "right" clothes, music, opinions, friends, brand of Lolita or goth wear, whatever their particular peer group is into... It annoys me that I can feel defensive about things like a portion of my collection being Chinese, because I feel like I'm fifteen again and having to defend getting the boots I really liked (and were more affordable) in the colour I wanted rather than oxblood DMs. Yeah, I know it's my fault, I'm the one who is reacting, but sometimes it makes me regret getting into the fandom.

      Sometimes I regret that my hobby has so much nastiness in it, nastiness that I think probably stems from the same root cause of peer pressure and wanting to seem to be on the "right" side. There was a post a little way back in which someone sneered at newbies who were surprised by the price of the dolls, were directed to ResinSoul/BBB as more affordable options and inevitably bought Meis. I know that suggests that the person saying it is probably very young and insecure and wants to put themselves on what they perceive as the "right" side through bullying, like a mildly unpopular kid trying to get in with the cool kids by picking on the transfer student. It's sad. But part of me still asks why I choose to hang around in a hobby where that kind of petty, childish meanness is a tolerated and unquestioned part of the culture. (Also - Meis are dead cute and pretty. I always like seeing them. And I think newbies should be petted and encouraged, not used as targets in a pissing contest.)

      Also - well, I'm obsessive, and I don't like it much. (I do have OCD and depression.) Bjd isn't the only thing I become stuck on, but it's a big one.

      The money, not so much, because hobbies are expensive. It's hard to think of many that aren't... Writing, I guess. That's certainly my cheapest outlet. But everything from cross stitch to cosplay to sport to art to gaming ends up costing a fortune.

      Overall, though, it's a hobby, and one I love, and I don't regret it. A new doll excites me so much. There's just certain aspects that make me uncomfortable or unhappy.
    18. Hrm, no, not really. It's a brand new hobby for me that's pulled me through some very difficult times in my life. In the long run it's been cheaper than therapy, and now that I'm ready to return to some professional help my dolls remain a comfort and a happy spot in my world where I can be artistic and just Play.
    19. I have just recently gotten into this hobby. I know hobbies are expensive I have way too many and sometimes that can be a burnout factor. I (and my wife) have just started and already have 5 dolls. 3MSD size and 2 pukipuki. I did in fact spend my whole check last week on the two Pukis and a couple of wigs. One of which I bought in fear of it selling out and not being able to get it again. I've already discovered I really would like to find a Unoa Narae classis and the cost is terrifying at $700+ to well over $1000. It is annoying when people in my family who do not understand about the dolls (and have no right to condemn what I do as wrong). I am not them, they are not me. What I chose for my life, if it makes me happy and I am not leaving bills unpaid or anything, it is about what make you happy. Life is way too short to worry TOO much. You need an outlet or else you're just a zombie working 9-5 eat,work,sleep. Enjoy what it is you enjoy. NO REGRETS. :)
    20. I can't say that I haven't looked over at the doll collection and had a minor panic attack. When you stop and think about how much you've spent, it... It is scarring.

      BUT if you only spend what you can spend, well, that's what spending money is for! :) So that part of the doubts are set aside.

      You hear a lot about the negative aspects of the community in this hobby. Every group of people has its negative aspects, and you can enjoy the hobby without ever getting involved in the community anyway. If I ever get exasperated with doll people, I just avoid the forums for a while. Simple.

      So I have been tempted to regret the hobby, but then I calm down and am glad I am in it.