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Reshelling guilt

May 2, 2017

    1. Hi everyone! I've read other threads like this but nothing with my exact problem, however I might have missed it so please feel free to redirect me if so.

      I have three main characters in my most developed and long running story, it's a story that I developed with my sister. She isn't really into Bjds as much as I am, she really likes haveing the physical representations of our characters but we both agree that the dolls are mine and I do everything for them. One of the three characters in my story was not originally part of the story, but when I saw his sculpt I really fell in love, I bought him and incorporated him into the story seamlessly. I really love this doll and the sculpts particular aesthetic (he's a switch Seojin btw) anyway the two other dolls I got for the other two characters, the ones that had been the main two before I even got the third, just don't seem to be working out for me. Maybe it's because they don't match the third dolls aesthetic or the proportions seem off to me, idk. But anyway my problem is that on my own I would have little guilt about selling the two dolls that aren't working for me and reshelling them into dolls that I like better, even though I've had the head of the girl for years now, but I feel like my sister would hate it, even if she acted like she's ok I know she'd be upset. I don't know how to be honest with her. I don't know what to do, she's always upset with me because she says I'm never satisfied with the dolls, and maybe I'm not but I feel like I just want to be happy with them, I want them to be as close to how I envision them as possible.

      Anyway I guess I just want to know if any of you have had a similar situation and what you did, or what you would do if you were in a similar situation.
       
    2. It does seem like she hold those characters close to her, but I think she'd encourage you to do it if she thinks you'd be happier. Although you say she isn't as invested in bjds as you are, talk with her about reshelling them and see if she likes the new dolls you're planning on? Or maybe she did really connect with the characters in the form of bjds and may think of purchasing them for herself so she can have that freedom too. but if the dolls are yours, in the end it is your interpretation of how they look. Since it sounds like both of you contibute to the characters I'd definietly bring up the idea of reshelling, then bring up other ideas and ask her what would be a good compromise
       
    3. Why not shop around with your sister for new shells? No reason she can't be involved, because even if the dolls are yours, the characters belong to the both of you. I guess that's the tricky part of "co-owning" story characters.
       
    4. I was in a similar situation in the past but with a good friend. We had our own dolls, but our stories were connected and we took photos together regularly.
      I always looked for the best possible shell, changing face-ups or completely re-shelling a doll when needed because I wanted (and still want) my characters to be perfect.
      She however was way more attached to the physical piece and felt guilty re-shelling/selling dolls, and she was very unhappy when I started changing my group because she was very attached to the characters.
      I tried very long to not make her sad, but it only made me sad in the long run. In the end I sold/re-shelled the dolls because it's more important that you like your dolls than anyone else.

      I think the only thing you can do is talk with your sister.
      Sometimes you just have to accept your taste changes throughout the years or that something new gets released that just fits better than anything that was available in the past.
      Since you two share the characters I think the best would be to pick new shells together. You can also keep the old dolls, shell them into something different and get new ones for the old characters if your sister is attached to the dolls itself and not just what they represent.
      However, you definitely should talk to your sister and explain to her your feelings.
       
      • x 4
    5. Thank you everyone for your advice, it really does help:XD: If anyone else wants to share their experiences I'd appropriate it.

      I think the point is that eventually I'll have to tell her how I feel, I'll just keep being unhappy if I don't.
       
    6. I, too, have a full set of characters and stories with my sister, though we're both in the hobby, so she owns her own dolls. However, reshelling has been a thing for us, and I think at times, there has been some guilt involved, though it was completely unnecessary.

      One of our most recent changes involved our boys, Nikki and Justin,who have been a couple for three years. We both very much liked them together, as characters, and we did like each other's dolls, but I began to dislike mine more and more. Justin was 15 when I started playing him, he's 19 now. A lot has changed in that time and now the doll seemed too thin, way too pale, and his nose and lips were too thin, though when I'd bought it, I liked it a lot more. I was very unsure about changing the doll. Around this time, she started to express her doubts about Nikki--mostly that he was supposed to be 21 and a muscular, sexy guy, but the doll looked very immature, with a big round head and huge eyes, almost cartoony. So together, we discussed our feelings, and we each reshelled our respective dolls, but kept the old ones for awhile. Turns out, reshelling was the best thing either of us could have done and we both like both boys SO much better now. It's almost cringey to look back at the old ones, since the new ones are so perfect!

      So, my advice to you is this--Talk to your sister about your ideas. Explain why you feel the characters have outgrown their shells, and show her which sculpts you think might be better. If you can, give her a choice of a few different sculpts you like so she has some control in the matter,but you'll still be satisfied. If possible, buy the new dolls before selling the old ones, so you can compare new and old, and also just in case the new one comes in and really doesn't fit at all. I think open conversation is the best way. Less tension, and god to just get it out there. You never know, she might feel the same way.
       
    7. @CloakedSchemer thank you so much, I really appreciate you sharing your expierence and your advice! I think I will just have to be honest with her, and tell her how I feel. She'll probably be upset, but I think she's happy when I'm happy so I think it will be ok.