Rude to Ask to Touch Other's Dolls?

Excellent points from many of you, especially Lyzrd & Lita.
I don't mind at all letting anyone hold my kids. The first time I approached someone with their doll at a large show, I looked for a few minutes and chatted up the person holding it, asking questions that made it clear I was familiar with BJD's and was interested in them. I may have remarked that I was considering buying one in that size as well.
Good places to see & handle dolls are doll shows as well as your local meetup. Here in Atlanta, we have frequent shows with doll dealers from around the US bringing their dolls for display and sale. I have never had anyone refuse to let me hold anything, although being calm & mellow probably helps. Meets are the very best place, even without a doll accompanying you. Our group has a huge variety of dolls from giant Bishe boys to the wee Pukis and everyone is wonderfully friendly.

 

I normally offer to people if they would like to hold my doll. One girl asked me if it was ok to touch her boobs lol. Kit's gay so she probably brags about it to this day.

 

Hrm. I know, personally, when I went to my first meet, I didn't ask to hold anyone's dolls until the very end, and even then I was so afraid that he was going to just break in my hands. She offered a few times beofre I actually took her up on the offer. I had been speaking with the owner (who was dressed as teh CUTEST pikachu ever~) for most of the meet and I found we were both pretty "new" on the doll scene even though we've been interested for years.

I'm pretty sure that this goes across the board for most owners, but looking is fine, grabby hands are not. I'll approach an owner and inquire about the doll, but never reach out to touch him/her or try and ask to hold them if they seem apprehensive about me gawking. ^^;

As for me, I'll let people hold MY doll, but I swear... no faceup touching... and don't take his wig off unless you know how. TT^TT I'd be devastated if my custom wig was ruined because someone just ripped it off. Even though it's a hobby, and you want to share the love, great amounts of money and time are put into the dolls, so in the end, if you ask to touch, and are told no, don't push it... >.>

Sorry for post... about nothing really. I babble. ^^;

 

I think asking someone is the proper thing to do and if someone is rude (assuming you were polite in your request) their just a jackass. Certainly people have the right to tell you no but they should do so in the same manner the request was made in.

 

At the first meet I went to I didn't have a BJD of my own yet and even without asking several people offered me their dolls to hold. If I hadn't received an offer to hold them I would have asked.

I'm personally happy to let others hold my dolls and new arrivals tend to get passed around at meets (although I must admit I'm a little nervous to touch some of the more expensive dolls)

 

I don't think you have to worry about being rude if you simply ask to hold someone else's doll, but I also don't think you should consider it rude if the owner in question says no either. As noted here some people are all for lettings others hold and play with their dolls while some might be a little more reserved for whatever reasons they have. Some of my dolls I have no problem letting others seen and touch so long as they ask politely first and I feel they are responsible/mature enough to understand the doll's worth, but some of my other boys I just feel have too delicate of parts (horns, jewelry, etc.) that I would prefer to handle alone. It's a personal thing and I wouldn't want to be considered rude because I like to take extra precautions with my expensive items.

 

I don't think it's rude at all to ask to hold someone's doll, as long as you phrase your question politely and avoid taking offense if the owner turns you down. As others in this thread have mentioned, some people don't mind letting interested parties hold their treasured dolls. :3

I think it would also help if you explained yourself a bit. I know that I react differently to a random request from a total stranger to hold my doll than to a request from a stranger who has talked to me about the doll first and explained that he has been trying to learn more about ball-jointed dolls. It's less scary to me to let someone handle my girl if they already know that she is expensive and requires a certain level of care, and who won't be surprised if I remind her to please not touch the face. If you're trying to get into the hobby, I think there are a lot of doll owners who would be happy to provide you with information and let you look at their doll.

 

Heh - I know I'm nervous about asking people if I could hold their doll. Even with my best friend I was like 'um....yeah....no. I don't want to risk it.' And will only pick them up very cautiously still (however after I got Chocolate, playing with Hakai [Jisatsu's] was no issue)

However I have a good friend that is similar to that. Where we work we see Dollfie books pass through the factory somewhat regularly (we produce photo books for Blurb) and have seen designers from Japan, America and Britain showing off their dolls in these books. He fell in love.

Now that I have a MSD I'm taking her to his party, and after verifying his hands are clean, will definitely let him hold her. He wants a few of his own (mainly tinies) and what better way for him to learn how to handle them than by handling my own?

 

I've had only good experiences with doll owners both before and after I've owned dolls. Every time I asked to hold a doll, the owners have been very kind and allowed me to hold their dolls, so I try to emulate that and allow anyone who asks the same opportunity. I really believe you don't get the same effect from just looking at a doll; I was afraid of breaking the doll by holding it too tightly the first time I held one, but the more dolls I was allowed to hold, the more comfortable I was in the end.

I think I'm also comfortable with letting others hold a doll of mine because I've always felt these dolls were meant to be played with. I think even if it was a limited, I'd share it with others because then they would get to see a rare doll firsthand and gain a firsthand glimpse of a doll they might not have otherwise seen.

And even if someone looked a little weird or dare I say acted a bit flaky, I don't think I'd deny them the chance to hold a doll because you just can't judge a book by it's cover. But I guess I am generally on the more laid-back and lenient side of things so my opinion on the subject is a reflection of my personality

 

I am rather lax about it, and if someone wants to hold my doll, providing they ask politely, then I have no problem with saying yes. I've even let children (with parents next to them) hold my dollinian tiny - and they handled them as gently as a porcelain figure without me even mentioning their cost - but nothing bigger and heavier than that. The first time I ever saw a doll was at a convention, but I was too chicken to go over to her and ask if I could give her pretty girl even just a looking at. For me, as long as you have clean hands, I know where they are and you don't go dabbing at their face then I'm fine. Though I have before had a puki disappear at a meet and turn up sitting out of the fly of a dollshe's trousers, I got an apology for that one though.

 

I'm totally fine with someone asking to hold/touch my dolls, I see it as we were all in the position of not having a doll in the first place and they are an expensive commitment so why wouldn't you want to have a look at one up close first?.
As long as you care careful and haven't got greasy/dirty hands, I don't see a problem with it

 

I've never asked, I'm sure if people want me to touch their doll they'd offer. I know some people are weird about dolls so Ijust don't make a fuss. I have my own holds to hold so it's fine.
I don't see the big deal at all.
Of course if someone offer their doll to me I'd of course hold it. I trust other doll people with my doll. They know what not to touch and how to be careful.
But no I don't think it's rude to ask, however I don't put my self in the situation of asking, dolls aren't weird but people are.

 

I think these dolls are like magnets. I've never seen anything else that induces such, uh... touchability... amongst perfect strangers.

I think it's nicer to try and engage in conversation before and/or after asking to hold a doll, however... I think it's a bit impersonal to simply waltz up to someone and ask to hold their doll, and then go swanning off again! There is a person behind the doll too!

 

There is nothing wrong with asking to handle someone's doll. My advice would be to find someone with a doll who looks nice and say something like, "That's a lovely doll...may I hold him/her for a moment?"

As others have said, just be sure your hands are free of anything that might stain the dolls or their clothes and of course you handle them carefully, which I am sure you will do anyway.

When I first got my doll, I handled her with kid gloves...really gently. I am still careful, and my friends are starting to trust me with handling their dolls as well, and they know it's good practise for me. If you mention you're into BJD and would enjoy some time with one, I don't think many aside from the really snobby ones would say no.

As to finding the right doll for you? Don't worry--something will click and you will know. That's what happened when I got my first doll.

Good luck!

 

This is pretty much how I feel.

You should never be afraid to ask, and I don't think it's rude at all. Picking it up without asking is rude, as you said, but asking is not! If someone doesn't want you to touch their doll they should politely say they'd prefer you didn't, there is no excuse for rudeness on either side, and I'd probably say some very... censored things if a doll owner was rude to me when I asked to touch their doll.

But saying that, I'm a very 'hands on' person, and if someone (anyone, even perfect strangers) is interested in my dolls I always offer them the doll to hold, but impress upon them they're very expensive and to be careful and not touch the face

If anyone's rude to you when you ask to touch their doll, just give them the finger - there's no reason anyone should be rude to you and if they are they're obviously just generally unpleasant people, who you're probably better off not knowing anyway They can always say "I'd rather you didn't, sorry" rather than being a dick about it. Most people who ask won't be offended if you say no (and if they are they're no better than the people who are rude when you ask!) so there's really no reason for it!

But like others have said, it's nice for people to talk to you a little first - I don't mind if someone wants to just talk about dolls to me or ask me about dolls and not myself, I don't like to make small talk much anyway, I'm not very good with people so it's quite nice to just talk about a subject I'm comfortable with

 

I think it isn't wrong asking to handle a doll. If the owner prefers you don't touch, he will tell you. And if you touch a doll, the important is handle with care.

 

I agree with what a lot of people have said- strike up a conversation first, get to know the owner, make certain the owner understands you're interested and at least somewhat knowledge able and ask nicely.

I know that, personally, I'm a LOT more reserved about handing over my dolls at anime convention meets than at 'regular' BJD meets. The crowd at anime conventions may or may not be familiar with BJD. And I've been to enough anime conventions, (both as a BJD owner and long time cosplayer), to know that, yes, many people at anime conventions can get VERY excitable and a little careless. If the person asking to hold my BJD at an anime convention doesn't have one of their own, I'm extremely careful about whether or not I let them handle him, (heck, for all I know that person may be the same one who just kicked a hole in the hotel wall or just went screaming through the hallway with a live blade in hand lol)

So...definately make sure to let them know you're interest in genuine and that you're clean, responsible, calm etc.

 

I dont think it's rude. Its more polite than just grabbing the doll like some people do in my opinion XD I'm going to Otakon too and i'll be at the doll meet ups. Mabye we'll bump into eachother. You can certainly hold my boy if you'd like

 

I love when people ask to hold my crew. I mean, I do have a few ground rules, such as not touching the face, and you're hands have to be clean. and if I don't know you that well, I prefer if you're sitting, and not out of my sight...but generally I'm pretty ok with people holding them. I have even (only with people I know really well mind you) walked away while my boys were being fondled. it's not rude at all to ask. It would be rude NOT to ask, and I think as long as you're polite about it, you should be fine.

I've met people who are a bit more protective than i am, it's true, there are some people who won't let you hold their resins even if you ask..but I can see where they're coming from, with the price they pay. But I buy my dolls to play with, not to just look at.

I'll be at Otakon this year. I don't know for certain which resins I'll be bringing, but I'll make sure I'm bringing someone along that you can play with (I have my dream doll on his way to me..and I dunno how protective I'll be over him...that is the one exception to my- ask and you can play rule). Just show up and shout "Zombchan" or "Liquid", I'll answer, and let you play.