Rude to Ask to Touch Other's Dolls?

I don't think this is rude at all. I know that I, myself, am sometimes a little bit touchy about my doll if the person is rough with him, or has never handled one before. Especially if they don't realize how rough they're being.
I don't think it's rude though, I agree that your hands should be clean, and that you should be careful.

I will be at Otakon myself, and may or may not have my doll with me! So, if I see you at some point, I would be glad to let you hold him! ^^

 

Ah, I don't think it's rude at all! If you're bringing a doll to a con, you should expect that people will ask to hold and touch them. You can say no, of course, but you shouldn't take it offensively.

My Puki Madeleine may be here in time for Otakon, and in that case, I'd be happy to let you hold her! ^-^ I'll be with tiernan hunter~!

 

The first time I went to a meet I didn't have my doll yet- I had never held one before, so I was very nervous about asking to hold people's dolls. So I would, very politely, ask them questions first about the mold or anything I had in mind (how big are they? are they heavy? etc etc) and then ask if I could touch or hold- no one ever told me no Just be polite and calm about it. Like others have said, striking up a conversation first is a good way for the owner to determine whether or not they can trust you to handle their doll. Sometimes an owner will even offer their doll to you if they see you are genuinely interested and have some dolly knowledge. But it does all depends.

I personally love to offer my dolls to people to hold, so long as they are careful and their hands are clean.

If someone ends up being rude when you ask to hold, don't let that discourage you. Just stay polite and move on to a different owner. Everyone will have their own answer to the question of "Can I touch?" but just know it is not rude to ask.

 

I don't think its rude at all. If someone approached me and seem interested in my boy and asked if they could him I would be flattered and really excited to explain and let them handle him. I think it depends a lot of how you approach the owner I think coming up and expressing an interest and even saying something like "Oh I have been thinking about getting **** doll" or "Oh is this a XXX" or if you are worried about miss identifying even saying "Oh what sculpt is this he/she is beautiful"

I also have to say going to a doll meet would be the best place to get your hands on several sculpts....going to a meet shows your interest and they are local people that you might have chatted with here on DoA so they know you aren't some random person just walking over...you are there with the express intention of seeing and maybe handling some dolls and getting to know other hobbyists in your area I think that would be the way to go!

 

Ok, this may sound extreme, but I have so much respect for the paint jobs these dolls recieve that, unless I've remembered my cotton gloves, I'm loathe to even ask to handle someone's dolls. I never tough the face, ever, and try not to touch the blushing everywhere else. If someone else is more off hand about their dolls, that's their business, but I don't want to booger up their dolls.

 

I love it when people ask to hold my kids. If they ask, it usually means they are aware of how expensive and fragile these little ones can be. I've never had an issue with people asking before holding. It seems to be the grabby ones that don't ask that cause the problems (and damage!).

 

For myself though. If someone asks to hold my doll, I would most likely have them seat with me(if I'm seated) and then pass them my doll to hold, or ask them to come with me to a less crowded place.

My SDs are heavy and my MSD is fragile. When in crowded areas, chances of someone bumping into us is high and when passing the doll over, I might have a good grip and the person might not. So when the bumping happens, said person might drop my doll.

I don't find it rude when someone ask to touch my dolls. Maybe you could try questions like, 'could I hold/carry him/her?' or 'may I touch you doll?'. Most of the times people would reply back with a polite yes or no. If they give a rude comment even though you had been polite, just smile sweetly and say 'ok' and walk off. Make them feel guilty for being rude when you're being polite...

But try not to be excited and squeal and say 'oh my god~ it's a -insert sculpt name- can I hold/carry him? Please~?' Chances of me(and others) saying no is 90%. I've had people squealing that at me...and I actually told the person, 'when you're calm enough, maybe I'll let you handle him for awhile...'

But I realised though...If you own at least 1 doll and asked to handle another doll owner's doll/s, 90% of the time it'll be a yes...

 

It might be strange to let someone who doesn't have a BJD hold one, since you can never be certain who will treat a doll well. I would be fine handing mine (when I get her) over to another owner who it is obvious takes good care of their dolls. But handing her over to a random stranger at a con? Never. They could touch her as long as I am still the one holding onto her. (Although if I spot grubby hands, all bets are off.)

I think that having someone ask to see/touch my doll would be a compliment, even if I tell them no.

 

I would want someone to ask before grabbing my dolls. Im still sorta iffy about letting someone hold any of mine. Im terrified someone is gonna try to make a run for it with Jareth.

 

I've had a couple friends ask me to hold mine. But they are older, I'd never let a kid handle her.

But I let them, giving them a warning about not touching the face and saying that she has a little weight to her. Just so they aren't surprised.

 

Hmm...I wouldn't mind letting other people hold my dolls, as long as they ask first & their hands are clean! It'll be horrible have scratches or marks on your girls & boys after 10 minutes with someone else!! Of course, it would only be fair to offer the same quality of care to other owners! Generally, that's the case for most everything else in life isn't it? You ask to borrow something instead of going around someone's house taking what you need & leaving a mess. It's common courtesy.

Despite that being said, I can understand how people who aren't familiar with BJD would just go out & touch them without asking. Just the casual passerby could hardly expected to be aware of their value or any sentimentality attached to the dolls. I'm sure in their eyes it's just another doll, a toy even. Mind you, the type of people I've in mind aren't the collector types whether into BJD, books, or such.
We're in somewhat of a protective bubble here as a community, we know their worth, and the amount of blood, sweat and tears each of us put into perfecting them. Treating our BJDs with great reverence, calling them our daughters and sons, spinning elaborate stories for them. We work hard to save our money so we can make our dream purchases, and hopefully don't view other collectors as idiots for "wasting" all their money one some flight of fancy.

Most if not all the owners here are respectful towards other's childrens, but I'm not daft enough to demand the same train of thought from people outside of our circle. The only places I'll be taking my kids to are places I've complete assurance of their well being. Sorry for the long winded post TL;DR people!

 

I have yet to be asked, by anyone, to hold one of my dolls. But I have only had them for a short tiime now. Now I'm starting to wonder how curious people get about them, and it's tempting me to take one out sometime. xD

I have a delf, and a kid delf right now, and yeah, the delf is a lot heavier than the MSD. I would be more tempted, if I had the choice to let a stranger, or someone new to dolls, to hold my MSD, over my SD. But either way, I would let them hold my doll. Though, I wouldn't want to put any of them in a situation were they would get dropped or broken. And I might be tempted to decline if the area is too crowded like Yukiya said.

I would love seeing other people interested in my dolls, and would be flattered if they asked to hold them. And I'd love telling people anything they wanted to know about them. Because they are fun, and a great hobby to get into. But I would feel very bad, and I'm sure the person that was holding her would feel pretty bad too, if they got damaged somehow.

 

I used to be more worried about that, when I was new to BJDs.

Now at meet-ups, we all don't care. Of course we're a small group and are calm. I don't mind people holding her, or messing with her hair, but I get really irked if they touch her face...

 

I'm new to all this but, I don't mind if:

A) You ask first
B) You got clean hands and are not sick with anything communicable
C) You refrain from touching the face-up
D) Also ask before removing any items (clothes etc.)
and
E) Do NOT under any circumstances commit rude acts with my dolls, Including placing any part of another doll and/or yourself another person, animal, statue or contrivance in "Sexual" contact real or imagined with my dolls and/or a facimile thereof.

 

I've been going to doll meets for about two years now, with mostly the same people all the time and I still ask if I can touch and pose their dolls XD It's just common courtesy.
I have a few dolls I'm a little laid back about and as long as I'm there I don't mind someone I know picking them up or posing them a little, but I do prefer if I were asked, especially from strangers.
I had a sour experience with grabbing, so unless I've been speaking with the stranger and they seem to understand I'll let them hold if they ask.

 

I practically shove my girl into other people's hands, especially those who seem interested in her. I love when people ask to hold her!

 

I agree with this. I don't mind if people touch my dolls, but I would be upset if they didn't ask first and did "rude" things with them.

 

All I'd ask is that the person is civil and open to experience. I've had a few friends who said "Wow, those dolls are FREAKY." and attempt to grab it - this is in fact one of my dollie pet peeves. If you don't like it, why would you want to touch it? Anyways, yeah, if someone expresses mild interest and is polite about asking to touch it, I usually concede.

Edit: Also agree with not doing rude things to my dolls. A lot of people I know turn a doll upside-down and flip up the doll's skirt "to see if it was wearing any underwear"... a huge no-no for me.

 

I wouldn't mind if someone asks, especially if they've talked to me for a moment and shown that they have some knowledge of the dolls. I have had a couple people go right for the face, though, and totally not get it when I was like "Don't touch the face don't touch the face DON'T TOUCH THE FACE!!!!!!!!!" One person tried to pick Crow up by his HEAD, and one was wanting to dangle Kale by his arm. Not cool. So I'm likely to give everyone the "he's heavy, and please don't touch the face." spiel. You should probably expect that and not roll your eyes at it, if the owner knows you don't yet have a doll, even if you've shown some knowledge of them. I tend to be slightly paranoid since they're expensive.

If you've posted on the meet-up thread and introduce yourself at the meet-up by mentioning a username I recognize, though, I'd probably offer one right up for you to hold. At the first (so far only) meet up I went to I had someone ask ahead of time for me to bring Crow because he's a Dolkot Day and there aren't tons of those around, so I offered him right up for anyone who showed interest. I also asked to hold a Puki at the meet and was thrilled to get a chance to check out the little guy for a moment, and someone else offered up their Shushu for me to hold since I was planning on ordering one, and that was awesome!

 

I'm one of those people that love having people touch and play with my dolls, as long as they're as gentle and ask. My girls are all personal, in their own way, but they're there to be enjoyed, and not just by me.

I will refuse anyone I don't beleive would handle them gently, children especially, as they seem to have a different definition of "gentle"