Selling a doll to buy a doll or not connecting with the one you bought

I am very 'hands on' with wigs; I have wasted a lot of money on wigs that ended up not suiting the doll they were intended for or flat-out didn't fit. But I'm not that way with dolls. If I'm unsure about something I look up owner pictures before making a purchase. That's too much money for me to be fickle about, but it seems like dolls can easily be resold for their original price so people really aren't out if that happens to them. .-. I did buy a doll and dislike him when he arrived one time, but as others encouraged me to do, I got him a new faceup and wig and now he's my darling!

 

I've done this a lot. Particularly because I didn't really know my absolute preferences until recently--I've bought a lot of dolls that I've loved but regretfully weren't really the size I wanted (all of my MSDs and two YOSD) and dolls that were lovely but ended up causing me frustration in one way or another (BBB Apollo--his posing, issues with faceuping, Obitsu Sheba--the fact that his material was not compatible with what I wanted to do with him (staining issues))--they all went out the door and the money from those dolls goes toward other dolls I have thought about more carefully now that I know what I like. Because of this revolving door I seem to have stuck to the front of my house, I think I would probably get a similar message from that seller.

In spite of my "u gonna git sold" rate, I feel very strongly about my dolls and regret when I have to sell one. However, if one is just not meshing with me or is causing me a lot of stress, I see no reason to keep it around when it could be with someone that genuinely enjoys it. Thankfully I seem to be reaching the end of this in and out cycle as all the dolls I currently have in my "doll family" are dolls I've wanted since I've first entered the hobby (even the one I'm currently selling who is unfortunately too small to enjoy) and I don't really want any more after the one I'm currently building, which will require a whole lot of my attention for a while.

I believe that everyone finds their way in this hobby (and every other one) differently, and for many that's through trial and error and experimenting with different things.

 

Yes and yes, please.

It's getting hypocritical to see so many people say "It's not the seller's right to judge the buyer in a transaction" while judging a nameless seller from one person's word-of-mouth. It's not a potential buyer's or outsider's 'right' to judge how a seller sells any more than the other way around.

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Personally, I've never sold a doll and I hope I never have to. I would never sell a doll to get another one, though I'm currently trying to sell everything else I can in my possession for that purpose (or so it feels like) XD ! I get very sentimentally attached to things like dolls, and I also spend a lot of time choosing the dolls I want. I've been in the hobby three years and I've only bought two dolls and was gifted another.

I'm actually really pick with dolls and a very indecisive person, always second-guessing my decisions or changing my mind--and with something like dolls I decided early that I never want to go through the hassle of becoming a 'revolving-door' type owner, especially with how attached I can get. I've dealt with this by: 1. Doing lots of research beforehand, looking at many photos and making sure I want it; and 2. Reminding myself that these dolls are completely customizeable, so I refuse to give up if a doll's 'look' isn't striking with me, and just keep trying new things. But I do have a friend who's as picky as I am with dolls, and she follows just this pattern, so we both deal with it in different ways.

almyki

 

i have also been turned down to buy a doll, because i mentioned to the seller that i was going to customize her, and not keep her "as is", and she didn't want the doll to go to someone who would change her. =o i do understand how people can become attached to their dolls, but... it was a little odd to me.

BUT, anyway, yes. i've sold a few dolls in my time, and the money often went to buy another doll. just today i bought a doll, so right away i put another doll up for sale (a non-bjd). for those of us who don't have a ton of money, it's sometimes the way to go. =)

also, about researching. since i started this hobby in 2006 i pined for a dollshe saint. i had tons of photos saved, and just knew i loved him. well, the beginning of the year i finally bought one, and guess what? i just didn't love him in person. i have no idea why. i think he's beautiful in photos, but we absolutely had no connection in real life. he was just a piece of plastic to me. so yeah. my point is, that sometimes no amount of research or thinking about it can replace the experience of seeing one in real life. ^__^

 

I've sold two dolls in the past, because I didn't like them as much as I thought I would. No point in keeping them, when there are other sculpts out there you like more.

Buying dolls is very much a hit or miss, I think. I only see a picture and I have to base on that how I will like the doll in person. But there are so many things that can get in the way of me liking the doll: the skin tone is not what I imagined, I don't like the jointing, some sculpting details really put me off etc. etc.

I own five dolls and two heads that I'm probably never going to sell if I don't have to. But the only reason I have these is because I've learned what style suits me. I wouldn't have learned this if I was too afraid to sell.

 

I've sold a few of my dolls or traded them to get dolls that I think would suit me more. I want to love all of my dolls but sometimes I get one and after several months of working and reworking the faceup and fiddling with the body, it's just not what I wanted at all. It's especially disappointing when it's a big doll that has taken a long layaway and a lot of work to buy. To me, when I sell a doll like that...it's hard, but in the end both myself and the buyer win. I get money to buy something that I may be able to bond with more quickly, and the buyer gets a doll they may love. I think it's nice that my doll might have a better home elsewhere.

So no, I don't feel there's anything wrong with selling a doll I'm not bonding with to pay for new dolls. I do understand though that for some sellers it's very important that the doll stay the same, and that's their right as a seller. On the other hand, I feel that when you buy a doll it's yours to do with what you will. I sold one of my dolls once to someone who was going to completely change her into a character that I was honestly kind of apalled with, but I wasn't bonding with the doll and they really loved her. I figure if they spent their money to buy her from me, what they did with her was their business. I didn't deny the sale, but I have some doll friends who might have and I would have understood that.

 

So glad I found this post as I've been on the fence to put some dolls up for adoption: everyone's reasons are valid, I especially feel the guilt part but the no-longer-bonding feeling is stronger. I just hope that once I set my mind to it, I'll be brave enough to do it. Like the majority, I'll probably take a loss as I'd rather see them go to someone who will love or recreate them then have them in a box in a dark closet
The dolls that will be up for adoption were the ones that I bought when there was a surge for them (is that impulse buying?) - I think I know better now and will keep the ones that mean something to me.

 

I've been genuinely worried about not bonding with a doll once I get one. :c I hope this doesn't happen with my first one!

 

It's so hard because you really have no idea how you are truly going to feel until you SEE and HOLD the doll! And this hobby is way too expensive to keep a doll that you're not absolutely crazy about. And I feel that if you are not attached to your present doll then why save for a new one when you can sell it for a new one? Also it gives others a chance to buy a doll that is maybe less expensive because it's second hand

 

A seller should be able to refuse a sale for any reason they want to. Or well, refuse a sale for any reason for this trivial, pointless luxury hobby. The same thought doesn't hold for necessities because then all of life's unpleasant -isms get involved in the active oppression of the less privileged. It is, however, pretty rude to then tell the potential buyer why you're not selling to them. A simple decline and thank you for your interest should be enough.

I sell my dolls on a fairly regular basis because I tend to get bored with them after a while. I don't bond with them. They're fun toys to me. If someone were to give me attitude during a sale over my buying/selling habits, I'd just blacklist them and never do business with them in the future. DoA's Ignore option is amazing.

 

I learned pretty early on that especially with limiteds or short-run pre-orders, if you don't get a doll in the initial run, you're probably going to end up paying a pretty penny for it on secondary markets. ;_; I ended up with quite a few dolls that just didn't really do it for me that way, many of which I've sold and some of which I just haven't gotten around to selling yet. Sometimes changing the faceup works, and sometimes even that isn't enough. I have to say I kind of agree with both sides: there's no shame in selling a doll, but at the same time, a seller CAN choose not to sell to someone for any reason, really. We're not (well most of us anyway) professional sellers here and even though it makes me want to cry when I see a doll I want but couldn't get selling for double... I just know that's the way it is. I've way overpaid for some dolls I wanted on the secondary market and I've both made and lost money on dolls I've sold. It does comfort me that in general I haven't lost TOO much money on any doll I've sold although I admit there are some I don't sell purely because I wouldn't get a good price for them. Example: I got original Lucas back when he was virtually impossible to get - from YJA. With shipping and fees and everything he was over $900. He's been in a box for a long time now, poor lad. The original skin dolls are no longer in demand and have yellowed (he IS over 10 years old), and I just couldn't bear to part with him for $250 or whatever someone might be willing to pay for him now. I suppose I should just suck it up and take the loss but it's hard because I /did/ love him so much for so long. So I guess what I'm saying is I wish I were a little better at letting dolls go... even ones I know I'm going to take a bath on.

 

I find myself buying dolls, losing interest, then selling them to get new ones. But, as others have mentioned, I wasn't aware of what preferences I find appealing in a doll. So, for me, it's a combination of selling the doll because the connection is lost, then using that money for a new one.

I find a seller calling off a sale for whatever reason highly unprofessional. Unless of course the buyer was known for being flakey/backs out. If the seller decided not to sell a doll because they're unsure, then why but it on the market in the first place?!

 

I sell dolls if I don't bond with them, and sometimes that means I will sell a doll to buy the next on my wishlist. Sometimes the doll is just bigger than I thought, or doesn't pose as nicely as I'd hoped, or just looks different in real life than online. It is hard to be in a hobby where we have to trust photos so much! It's hard to know how you feel about a doll until it is in your hands, I think. I always make an attempt to bond, though, unless I completely hate the doll. I'll try changing the style or playing with the doll more. Sometimes it doesn't work, and then you know the doll must leave. If I like a head and not the body, then I will try to sell the body and replace it with one that fits my taste better. More often than not, once the doll is sold I will feel like it's permissible to use the profits to buy another doll (As opposed to using a paycheque.)

I find it very strange that sellers would not allow their doll to go to someone who will resell it, or change it. I guess the seller has the right, but it is quite unprofessional. Then again, selling a doll isn't a business for these people, so it makes sense in a way. Still, very strange. If you are still emotionally attached to a doll, why sell it in the first place? When I sell a doll or part, it is because I no longer want it. It does not matter to me what the new owner does.

 

It happened to me three times that i sold dolls to buy other. Every time it wasn't easy, but what i can do if i totally don't bond with doll? Or i realise i will be much more happy with other. i used to have around 15 dolls when i started hobby, getting more and more and then they somehow overwhelm me, never had enough time to work enough on them, they took to much space so i sold most, and in this as i mentioned three was a fund to other doll. now i'm very happy with what i got. i don't regret selling to buy other. Is all up to us, and in my opinion is better to have what we really like

And about the situation with seller. i always look for good home for my dolls when i sell, but be honest when i got money it means doll got new owner and what she/he will do with it it's up to that person.

 

Luckily, I haven't had to sell any dolls to get new dolls yet. I hope it never happens, honestly. I save for months on end to buy my dolls, and I couldn't bear to part with any one of them, really.

 

This is a really good topic, perhaps the seller genuinely just realised they didn't want to sell anymore?

It can be hard, as several others have said, to know if you're going to love/bond with a doll based purely on pictures/reviews. So surely, if you buy a girl/boy and just don't/can't bond with them, it would be better to let them go to a new home where they will receive the attention they deserve? I mean, naturally I hope the new owner would take care of the doll, and treat them with respect, but ultimately what they choose to do with their property is unfortunately not upto me to decide once money has exchanged hands and the doll has arrived.

Maybe that's too simplified a view of things *blush*

 

I see no problem with buying a doll and selling it right away due to lack of bonding.

My first doll was an AE Blueberry. My dad bought her for me, and though I loved the idea of owning a BJD, she wasn't what I wanted. I ended up selling her a few months later.

My second doll was an AE Coral. I loved the sculpt. Compared to other AE dolls, she looked a lot more mature. They had also updated their bodies since my last AE doll (better joints, hands, and posing ability). I think I had her for about three or four months before I sold her. She just didn't feel right.

My third doll was a KDF Pine (La Sirenita, human version). She had a gorgeous face-up and was so sweet, I thought I had finally found the one who would bond with me. She did a little at first, but then I didn't really connect anymore. She was pretty (face-up by Andreja), but once again I found myself wanting to sell her. The final push to sell happened when my car broke down and I sort of needed to sell her, but I don't regret it. She didn't bond with me.

Finally I ended up purchasing a MNF SP Luka head off the marketplace. I adored Minifees, and thought I would take a crack at modding (for fun). I opened her eyes and sent her off for a face-up. Her head and body arrived the same day in the mail (the body from a split), and upon assembly, I was in love. I don't know why, but I finally bonded with a doll. Maybe it was because I modded her, or because I sent her off for a face-up that I wanted, but in the end, I found one that stuck

 

I sell dolls to buy another I really like or have to have. I can't afford to just buy every doll I like. Wish I could. I would never not sell one of my dolls to someone just because they sell a lot of their dolls, I know that sometimes you need to sell to buy another or something comes up and you need to sell.

Linda in Wisconsin

 

Eh, based on the rules here the seller has the right to take their doll off the market for whatever reason, but that certainly doesn't mean that a potential buyer can't think that those reasons are silly.

At this point I've actually never sold a doll (that's primarily laziness, as I certainly have a couple of dolls that are off display and that I no longer have any plans for) but I have bought several dolls second-hand and I'd be shocked to have a seller refuse a sale based on something other than genuine concerns over the buyer's reputation for reliable payments (or shipping location, if there are known postal issues on either end). It may not violate any rules, but it strikes me as rather unprofessional and I'd personally view that seller very warily in the future if I knew they were someone who based their transactions on arbitrary personal choices.

That's different to me then someone just taking their doll/items off the market all together - I can understand changing your mind - but the approval/disapproval of individual buyers is quite a different animal.