Selling: Do we need to justify it? (Sentimentality in sales threads)

Some people are just more sentimental than others by nature, and there is a certain level of attatchment that comes with owning a doll. I've bought two dolls that were previously owned, and I did like knowing why they were selling. They didn't go into major detail. One just said they weren't bonding with her, and the other said she was changing up the kind of dolls she wanted to comprise her collection. Stories I think make me trust the person, cause it lets you know that they cared for the doll. I'm not saying people who don't give their reasons don't care, but lack of details makes you wonder if they are leaving something out. Not only that, but if they are open in their sales post, than you also get the impression that this person will be easy to deal with, and not some cold fish who may cause you grief. But then, I'm sort of a sentimental person myself, so this type of person might appeal to me more.

 

As a buyer, I want a reason you're selling the doll. "I'm selling it because I didn't bond" is different from "I need the money." Did you not bond because you're American and didn't realize how big 60cm really is? Or did you not bond because it's floppy? Mostly, I want to be reassured that the seller does not want the doll (and therefore won't flake) and that there's nothing wrong with it (like the cat used it as a chewtoy).
Massive details turn me off, though. That moves from reason to justification, and I'm cynical enough to suspect people of lying.

 

For me, as a buyer, it really doesnt make a difference why someone wants to sell a doll, be it emotional or financial reasons. If I see a doll I like, im going to buy it. I guess when someone does give some reasoning though, its a kind of re-assurance that you're less likely to get scammed (even though, they could make up some big story and still rip you off. Its more of a subconscious thing).

But as sellers, most doll owners ARE going to give some reasoning why. Not to try and follow some unspoken understanding about pouring out your soul, but because for most of us, owning a doll becomes a very emotional process. We love our dolls and become attached to them, or we dont get that special connection and have to pass them on to someone that will. I dont think we give reasoning for any specific reason other than it gives our selves some closure and justification for what we're doing.

 

I'm sorry, I wasn't clear. By "not want the doll," I meant "not want the doll more than food/rent/tuition." Someone who sells the doll because they need the money is (in my ever-so-huge experience,) far less likely to flake than someone who wasn't bonding and then put The Magic Wig on it and suddenly wants it again, and both of them are far, far less likely to flake than someone who is only selling the doll because their parents are making them.

So I would say I want a tangible reason that the seller does not want the doll. "I thought I would like it but now I don't," in my (tightwad little) brain makes me wonder if the seller might not change his/her mind again.

On the other hand, if a person is selling a doll because they need money, and their fairy godmother says, "Honey, you love your dolls so much! Here, I'll pay that speeding ticket for you, we'll call it an early birthday present!" then that doll isn't likely to stay up for sale. Just to play devil's advocate.

 

I've never understood why people feel the need to trot out their personal reasons for making their decisions. Of course I understand people suffer hardships or that something just didn't work out, and I empathise. But I don't need to hear it, nor do I particularly want to hear it. I'm happy to take it as read the seller no longer wants the item. That's more than sufficient.

It's sad people would consider the seller's personal justifications a barometer of their own confidence in the sale. I look to things like quality of description, images, full disclosure, feedback and how preliminary communications square with all the other impressions to build confidence in a buying decision. Even then, I can be had, because problem transactions abound these days - sellers flake and scammers scam and justifications are only worth the paper they're written on.

At the end of the day, the premise that should matter is simple: you list something for sale, you've made a commitment to sell it and you're honour-bound to that commitment, even if you repent of your decision later. Ergo, don't enter into a sales decision lightly.

Tsk, tsk. This strikes me as baiting and stereotyping and totally unnecessary.

 

I suspect the justification is more for the sellers benefit than the buyers. As a buyer I don't really care why you need to sell your doll, but as a seller, I always feel a little sad I couldn't made a doll work so I will, for my own justification, put a little sentence that doll and I didn't get along and a sad face. I think it helps the separation process.

 

Actually, I was just trying to think of "reasons someone would sell a doll that were at once entirely about the doll without anything being wrong with the doll itself," and I happened to see my boyfriend's ordered-from-Japan figures that we both thought were going to be quite a bit bigger, because neither of us would know a centimeter if it walked up and introduced itself. I find an American not knowing how big /wide/heavy a 60cm doll is, especially off company promo pictures, entirely reasonable.

 

I mentioned that I wasn't bonding with my DIM Sweet girls when I sold them. It wasn't so much to justify the fact that I was selling them, but more a thing to say "they're fantastic dolls, they're really beautiful... but this is why I personally don't want them".
I really wasn't bonding with them, and they were just sitting in a box. What a waste of such beautiful little girls!

I think it's okay to put a quick "I'm not bonding with this doll", "It doesn't fit my character" or "I need money" in a thread, since I personally find it kind of reassuring when I buy a doll. It shows me there's no problem with the doll itself, it's just how the owner feels about their doll. If they go on and on about the life story and such, then it's a little annoying.

 

I find the sentimentality of the bjd world refreshing, to be honest. I came out of the antique doll world, where those old ladies slash and gut you without batting an eye, and lie like a rug to make any sale. This was expected, 'de rigeur' in fact.

When I came here I couldn't believe how NICE, how civilized, the marketplace was in comparison!

Since 2005 it has degenerated a little bit, but not that much, really! I'd still much rather deal with a bjd seller than an antique doll seller any day!

giving a reason for the sale still means the bjd world is a cut above the usual doll collecting fray. When/if that goes away, it'll be a sad day indeed!

Raven

 

I can understand why people sometimes give their reason for selling, particularly in cases where there is a quick turnaround of a sought-after limited, etc. We've all read those threads where unkind comments are made about hobbyists who appear to have a "dolly revolving door". Of course it's silly; regardless of reasoning, everyone has a right to sell any doll of theirs, anytime after they bring it home, but still. There is some pressure in this hobby to justify why one is parting with a doll. Sellers maybe shouldn't bow to that pressure, but they do. As Fallenfae said above, there's also a large emotional component involved. I've only sold one doll in several years I've had BJDs, and it was a tough decision to part with her. There's no need to write a paragraph detailing one's woes, but a sentence or two is reasonable.

Like Mitsukiki, I also get the impetus sellers may have to explain that there is nothing wrong with the doll. That it's being sold for reasons that don't have anything to do with its quality or condition.

 

I agree with misa1, I was thinking the exact same thing when i began reading this thread. I'm a relative newbie, but scalping threads have come up in most searches I've done here--it seems to be something that really bothers people so I think people feel the need to alleviate the guilt associated with selling.

Many responses here describing that they take it into account are exactly why sellers do it, most likely.

 

Cool question


To sellers:
Do you feel the need to justify your sale in your thread? (IE, do you mention "not bonding" or state the reason you are selling the doll?) If so, why?
I guess because I feel bad about not wanting the doll. Like there is nothing wrong with her it is me! Mostly I wanted my doll to find a great home.

Do you feel you have to justify the reason you are parting with a doll so you don't seem like a bad person?
No. I don't want anyone to think that I don't like the mold. I don't want to insult someone's taste if they like the doll or already have one.

 

I like to buy dolls from sellers who give a little reason why they are selling. Some are just not bonding or the doll is bigger then they had thought it was and would rather stick with the smaller dolls. I sometimes buy a doll because I like the mold but the seller didnt do much with it and i want to bring out her full potential. I usually sell her after I do that. I have all girls and I like to buy the girl dolls because im a makeup artist. I love to apply makeup on a doll and make her as beautiful as possible. But i must admit.. I get some of my creativity from the reason the seller sold the doll and i get motivation from the fact that I found her and purchased her.

 

That's still stereotyping, and actually bordering on racism. I hate to point out the obvious, but people from all nationalities (your nationality too) can make mistakes like not estimating sizes correctly. I didn't realise how big my first doll was, so what?
Many people here have actually stated that they are fine if the seller says "I think this doll is too big for my collection, I'm more comfortable with MSDs/YoSDs/Pukis." Not one of them have attacked the sellers' intelligence as much as you have.

A lot of these dolling people are mature, grown adults, who understand that if they are not bonding with an expensive doll, they resell it in an appropriate manner so they could only lose $100, not $600 and more. The children who are selling their doll because their parents told them to is in the minority.

 

I really think you should be very very extra care full when chucking out such a powerful accusation like you just did Adhara. Calling someone a "border line racist" from that post above? I think you should please edit that because I can't believe you really meant that

On the size issue. Americans don't (by default) tend to think much in centimeters and I don't think it is insulting anyone's intelligence to say so. I do think most people pull out a ruler and check (American or not) to estimate size. I do believe it might come as a bit of a shock when your first doll arrives because no matter how much you measure they do feel big when they arrive. I think size miscalculation could play a role in a resell. Although I loved it when I saw my big beautiful dolly!!!!! I hope you did too

 

I am considering selling one of the dolls I have now or at least trading him off and yes Id most likely list the reason as to why. No drama I just like the mid size dolls a bit more than the larger ones.

However when people come up with some Sob story id have issues believing them.

 

I've sold several dolls on the forum, and I usually only put a single sentence saying why I'm selling it: wanting to swap sculpt, doesn't get any attention anymore, blahblah.

I always keep that part extremely short because what an interested buyer is going to be looking at is not your reasons for selling the doll, but rather the information [age, sculpt, photos etcetc] that will determine whether s/he will make the purchase.

That will always take priority over a personal reason as to why you're selling the doll, I feel.

 

I'm a sentimental and curious soul...I like to read the reason why. You can often glean some interesting info from it too, like how long they've owned the doll or how the doll has been treated while in their care ("she's been everywhere with me as my constant companion for years but sadly I must sell her now for financial reasons" vs. "she's been kept in her box the entire time I've had her because from the moment I laid eyes on her I realized she was just too small for me".) And yes, I've seen both of these comments right here in the marketplace on DoA.

 

I do not want to read long personal stories, and I would not want to buy a doll with a story like "She's my dream doll, I just got her and it brakes my heart to let her go but I really need the money..." - it would make me really uncomfortable to part that doll from it's owner.

The 'I'm not bonding' or 'not the right size for me' are OK as they're short without too much emotion.

All in all, nobody should need to explain why they're selling a doll. It has just somehow become a thing here on DoA.