Settling for second-best?

Jan 3, 2016

    1. Hello there! First time posting in the discussion board, with what I'm afraid is a bit of a long and rambly story time! So I'm a newbie who's yet to get their first doll, and recently I fell in love with a limited doll - I was completely head over heels from what I saw in the company photos, and it got me interested again in owning a BJD after my interest faded out for a year or so. I loved the outfit, the sculpt, and it was released in 2013 so I thought I'd never be able to find it. Then, a friend told me there was one for resale in the MP, and seriously contemplating it, I went to look for as many owner photos as I could for research. However, seeing actual owner photos made me change my mind a bit- I noticed things that I wasn't 100% happy with in the face sculpt, things off with the otherwise beautifully-done faceup that bothered me, and so on.

      In the process, though, I discovered another limited doll by the same company that was still available, perfect in the places that bothered me with the first doll, and that wound up being my dream doll instead. Seeing how much I wanted it, my friend was planning to get me one for Christmas-- however, as luck would have it, it sold out right before my friend could order it. After asking the company about it, they responded telling me the next release of the sculpt would likely be in 2017- an entire year away..! As of now, I can't find it anywhere for resale, plus it's been so recent it's unlikely anyone's going to resell one anytime soon. Probably out of impatience, my thoughts went back to the original doll I was interested in, still available in the MP, and now I'm reconsidering going for it.

      After reading up endlessly on dolls for the past month or so and feeling crushed from having come so close to actually getting one, I do feel like I'm mostly just desperately itching to get a doll at this point, but I'm telling myself things like 'maybe it won't be as bad in person' 'maybe it'll grow on me' 'maybe if I don't like it I can always try to retrade the head/resell it if I ever get my dream doll', since I do absolutely still love the limited outfit the first doll comes with and don't know if I'll have the chance to get it again. Another part of me, though, is telling me to be patient and wait as long as it takes for my dream doll to appear somewhere for resale, and that the sculpt is what's the most important part of the doll. The problem is, I'm not a very patient person..!

      So I was wondering, has anyone else had an experience like this? Did you follow through with it and settle for second best, or did you wait? How did things turn out following that decision- for the better, or for the worse? I'd love to hear about your stories if you don't mind sharing ;___;!!
       
      #1 jaywalk, Jan 3, 2016
      Last edited: Jan 3, 2016
    2. I'm actually relieved when I see flaws in a doll I was thinking of buying. It's money saved! Ok, it's actually money I can spend on clothes, eyes and face-ups of other dolls. But when I spend so much on dolls, they can't have unfixable flaws that bother me. You can sell it on later but there is a certain amount of stress and waiting related to that. It's money tied up when you could be spending it on something else... like the doll you really want.
       
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    3. I feel like i always fall in love with the dolls that aren't available. The doll that got me interested in this hobby was an Elfdoll Vivien that I had been seeing all over deviantart and that would pop up on my pinterest page. After a year of ignoring the hobby (because of how expensive they were and the money I was making at the time) I came across one again, and i was drawn in again.... Well, it turns out she's not available, none of the Elfdolls are.

      So I've searched 19+ BJD groups on Facebook trying to find one (even groups in languages i don't understand lol), I've searched tumblr I've searched flickr ... everything I could think up, only to find all of the one for sale were already sold. I don't have MP, and I was hoping maybe once I got access there would be one there, but I'm really feeling the despair..

      Then I came across an Elfdoll Smiling Soah, (second hand) which I've ordered from someone. Vivien and Smiling Soah look nothing alike, but I've settled, even though I know in the back of my head I will always wish she was a Vivien.
       
    4. I definitely know where you're coming from! I loved a lot of the older, and now sold out Soom Dolls. Once I found a sculpt I liked, it was literally all I could think about, but I was always a little depressed because I thought I would never be able to buy it. BUT, I looked almost everyday on several BJD selling pages on facebook, and ebay for the dolls I wanted; and I managed to find three of the older Soom boys that I fell in love with :D I know it's hard (i'm a very impatient person too) to wait, but its really worth it to get a sculpt that you fell in love with. It's such a gratifying feeling to actually hold the doll you always wanted :3nodding: And you'll never feel like you missed out on something. Of course you could get the other doll for now, and save up for your grail if he's coming out in 2017 (if that is an option of course). Hope I could help!
       
    5. I understand where you're coming from as well, but here is my two cents. I can almost guarantee that if you save your money and wait until you have marketplace access, you will find your doll. I have two dolls myself that not only were limited, but had sold out several years before I received them. They are dolls so rare, I have only ever seen one other owner photo in my 9 years in the BJD hobby. I put up WTB threads, and waited, searched, and kept bumping my thread. After quite a long time, I was contacted by someone who had one, and I bought it. So, I bet you anything your doll will turn up. In the meantime it is way more than likely you will find another one you love just as much.
       
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    6. This has happened several times with varying results but I'll usually say wait for the one you really want.

      - Soom Ender. I wanted him for two years before I got my hands on one. I considered different Soom sculpts but never gave in and am happy I didn't.

      -Volks F-16. I wanted him for close to 4 years before finally getting one. I tried to compromise and get a different Volks head, and ended up selling it a few months later, at a loss. Wish I had waited.

      -Little Rebel Jelle. After the head sold out and I missed it, then it wasn't rereleased in October as planned, I gave up and got an Aleksander instead. I'm actually happy with this, since my character is too masculine and mature to have looked good as a Jelle, though I still love the head.

      -Little Rebel Andre. The head was due for release in Nov, then Dec, then pushed to Dec/Jan. It was perfect but because it's so limited and there wasn't a set release date and my January schedule is up in the air due to upcoming surgery, I thought I would certainly miss my chance. I bought a Luts Flood instead, though it wasn't quite right. Less than a week later, Andre was released without much notice. Luckily, I had received some holiday money early and was able to get him. I kind of regret buying Flood now, but the body will still work for the Andre head and I'll get a Luts event head too, so it's not a huge problem, I just could have saved money if I had waited.
       
    7. I actually think you may be able to find one in the coming year just because she was sold/sold out so recently. Lots of people buy dolls, especially limited ones, then realize they don't like them them quite as much as they hoped. Or they don't fit with the rest of their crew, or they find another limiteddoll they just have to have or something. It may take a while (because of the processing time/layaways, etc...), but they seem to eventually trickle in xD Just keep your eyes peeled!
       
    8. Personally, I prefer to purchase the sculpt secondhand or through a company re-release instead of settling for another doll. Most of the time, the doll will pop up eventually. I pieced together one of my grails over the course of two or three years because I couldn't afford the whole thing in one go, and it was so worth it. If I knew for sure that the doll I really wanted would be re-released in a year or so, I would save up for that doll and plan to purchase it!
       
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    9. I would save up for your Dream Doll. In the end you will be so much more satisfied. Good things come to those who wait. In the mean time, you can plan out the character and get extra clothes for them ^^
       
    10. I usually don't wait, as there's more than one doll I want at any given moment. If I can't find what I'm looking for I hit up the next on the list. I have a lot of hobbies, so if I try and wait for any one thing there's a good chance it'll be spent on those hobbies by the time it shows up again.

      If I have the opportunity, I'd be willing to wait for a doll. There's one in particular I've waited almost two years for and barring some ridiculous stroke of luck (knock on wood!) I aim to get it next month 2nd hand.

      I guess what I'm saying is, it's fine to wait for it while buying other dolls, should you have a way to get the money ready for it in the meantime; and assuming you even like the doll you buy instead. Never settle for "good enough", because chances are the regret you feel on missing out on the other one will sour you on this one. Maybe it won't go that way and you'll love it to death, but I can't whole heartedly recommend it with that in mind, not at the prices bjds go for.
      At the same time, sitting on your hands if you're impatient (like me) might build up the anticipation so badly the doll you really want may not measure up to the hype, and having something to help ease the excitement can temper one's patience to last a while longer, imo.

      In the end though, there's nothing wrong with falling short sometimes. Just stand up, dust yourself off and keep going for it in the end. If you think there's a chance you'll like another doll and put off your best for a while later, it might be worth a shot.
      ...And if you end up hating it, there's always the marketplace.

      [/half baked advice]
       
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    11. My second doll I bought was slightly an impulse buy and I am not too happy with it, so I recommend if you love the doll go for it, but if you second guess yourself then it might not be for you. I am currently working on making him look better and I am starting to not regret buying him.
       
    12. I did once, and regretted it. Proportionally it didn't work with my other doll whiler they were supposed to be a couple, and it just... Wasn't right. I won't do it again.
       
    13. I think right now you are feeling what I often feel when hunting for a dream item- the need to fill the void with something else. The urge to "capture" something. You were all set to order something and now...? It's definitely a let down. If I were in your situation, I would also be influenced to look at the first doll in a new light. but I think your first impression of it when you saw the owner photos is something you should remember. I am the type that never forgets the things that were on my wishlist. Finding "the one" is hard to let go.

      You are new to the hobby right? The cost of the doll is one thing, but in the end a lot more can be spent on clothing, furniture, accessories, and maybe a new camera if you get into doll photography. And then you think, I love this doll, I wonder what character would look good next to them? If you plan to get the dream doll, you could start your search over and see what kind of friend would look good with them or fit their story.

      If your dream doll's sculpt will be released again I would wait, and in the mean time look at things you want for your doll. I actually can't buy another bjd at the moment, but I'm ordering some clothes for one that I have, and a few for the one I want to order in the future. I can't believe how high the order total ended up being, since a few became a lot! Plus the clothes I want might be out of stock by the time I get the doll.

      New dolls seem to pop up so fast to me. Maybe your next love is around the corner. But if you are seriously thinking "I might have to resell this doll" before you buy one, then I think that doll isn't for you. Like someone just said, selling is a tedious and stressful thing. But if you really changed your mind, and think the other doll is totally great, you totally want it, then more power to you!

      That is how I would go about things at any rate. What's most important is how you feel and what do you really want?
       
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    14. The way you're describing the "second best" doll makes me think you won't be satisfied with it when you get it. On one hand you can have more than one doll and if you loved both but loved the second one more there would be no problem with getting the second best doll first and then getting that grail doll when it's eventually re-released (or second hand on the marketplace) however it seems like there are a lot of flaws in the second best doll that really bother you and if they're bothersome in pictures, that irritation is probably going to be way worse in real life. For me "meh" turns to resentment when I get an impulse doll that I don't like (I finally learned my lesson but it took several years) it may be the same for you and may end up turning you away from the hobby entirely. My advice is don't buy a doll you don't love "buy the best and cry only once" XD but you may find a third doll out there that is readily available that you love as much as your number one but maybe in a different way. Then you can get both ^_^
       
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    15. @brightberry Oh man this is true! If I buy this doll.. what if the one I'm waiting for pops up while I'm stuck with money locked up in unsellable? This definitely made me think about it, thank you for your advice!

      @Mercy-malice Even before I fell in love with this one my introduction to the hobby started off with me falling for an unavailable doll too x___x Why are dolls always so hard to get!! I did check the MP for Viviens for you though and there have been a couple of sales in the past! The most recent one was in August, so maybe there'll be one by the time you get your access! Good luck!

      @queenbijuu Waa you did help, thank you! I've been thinking about this sculpt every day and it's been driving me nuts, but I imagine if and when I do finally find it it'd be the most satisfying thing;;; Thank you for your advice!

      @orphansparrow Ahh that's incredible, I'm glad you got them in the end! I'm just super impatient and worried I'll have to wait ages and ages, though you're right, I'm sure it'll eventuallly turn up somewhere! Thank you so much for sharing!

      @CloakedSchemer I'm glad most of them worked out for you, and otherwise it was a lesson learned, right ;w;! Thank you for sharing your experiences!

      @Aliyahbetd This gives me hope for sure, thank you! I've just been so caught up thinking 'who on earth would sell such a lovely doll' and none have appeared secondhand yet, so that's what's been fueling that line of thought, but hopefully that means it's about time they'll start to appear soon!

      @AmberLeigh Wow, it must have been so fulfilling to have your doll all together in the end ;~; A year just sounds so far away to me arghh, but it does mean hope's on the horizon- I guess this hobby is all about patience! Thank you for sharing!
       
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    16. @NorthFey This sounds like a plan haha, time to go shopping for a doll I don't have yet! Thank you for your advice!

      @Temishi Good luck with your doll! I'm one of those newbies dead-set on having only one doll/can't afford getting more than one, but you're definitely right about the experience potentially souring this second-choice doll :'Tc Thank you so much for the advice!

      @Zip117 I don't have the experience just yet to fix up dolls and I'm definitely second-guessing myself by now, so perhaps it'd be best if I hold off on it after all... Thank you for your advice and all the best with your doll!

      @Calimello Oh man, I'm sorry to hear that! Thank you for sharing!

      @Lehst Yeah, there's a doll-shaped void in my heart where I was all prepared to welcome a doll into and now it'll just stay empty for god knows how long... so I've just been almost desperately trying to find a way to fill it up, I think;;;! Thank you so much for your advice, though! I'll try to stay patient and in the meantime busy myself with shopping around for things to make them at home whenever they finally get here!

      @Nefla Oh man, thank you for the warning ;~; I would prefer not to get more than one doll (I know I know, that's what they all say) so I think the logical thing would definitely be to wait it out in this case after all. While it seems unlikely now, I'll also look out for a doll I might like even more, who knows! Thank you so much for your advice!

      Whew, those were some long posts! After all this I think I'll be patient instead and hold out for my dream doll, thank you so much for all your words and advice! I'd love to keep hearing about any other experiences anyone may have, though, dolly stories of tears and triumph can tide me over while I wait..!
       
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    17. I think you should definitely wait. When you look at the second best doll, it will only make you upset and regret your decision because you will think of what you could have instead. Also, it's only one year. Think of it as time to save up money so you don't have to pay on layaway and you can afford clothes and accessories for your future doll when you purchase them.
       
    18. You're very welcome :) I'm happy to see so many people jump in with stories and advice too.
       
    19. if I can fix it, I buys it. face ups are not a bother to me, because I can always repaint it to my liking later.

      "Second best" is a term to me sounds like that you are setting yourself up for disappointment. I wouldn't do that to myself, even if it's to save a few dollars.

      If you are the type of collector that is expecting pure perfection then you must wait for it, secondhand dolls usually have some "flaw" that you will see that will not be seen by other collectors. ((I've seen more then enough negative feed back threads on this because one collector's view of "perfect" is different from anothers.))

      I waited for my "perfect" dolls, months and even years, to me being as long as I was in this hobby, that's considered normal/average. And if I found a doll that wasn't "perfect" to me, I brought it anyways and improved it.

      I recently brought Doll-body on a very good discount (Thank you dear seller!) and it's not what I'd call "perfect" which is fine to me, I knew beforehand the condition of it and it's problems before slapping down some funds and buying it. Despite it's flaws, it's still perfect as a place holder for my heads. It just sits on a self and I enjoy fiddling with the body to make my own improvements. It's a project doll that I am having fun with because I'm the type of collector who likes to mess around with resin bits.

      It really depends on what kind of doll collector you are.
       
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    20. No. It's such a bad idea settling for second best because you'll still want that grail and won't be completely happy with second :/

      In your case it's just another year, which honestly isn't terribly long. It'll feel super rewarding especially since you waiting so long :)

      If the sculpt is never going to be available ever again, maybe settling for second is more okay but as a lot of others said, you can usually find one on the secondhand market.