Social/ community aspects of doll collecting: Help or Hindrance?

I find being a part of the doll community, online and off, to be mostly rewarding. I do have a tendency to feel disappointed if my gallery posts on here go ignored, but sometimes I forget just how big and fast this place is. But other than that, I enjoy posting here and reading other BJD-related forums. I love receiving feedback about my dolls, giving comments and praise to other dolls and their owners, and reading up on what new things the doll companies are dreaming up. Like others have said, BJDs are a great way to escape for a time.

Sure, interacting with other BJD people can be irritating at times. It's hard to hold back comments when you see a person destroying something that cost hundreds of dollars, and when other owners take the "escape for a time" philosophy too far. But that happens everywhere in life. The positives far outweigh the negatives to me.

And meeting other doll fans IRL is even more enjoyable to me than online interaction. I've been lucky to like almost everyone I've met in this hobby, and being able to talk to other owners and see their dolls in person is so much more fun than seeing them on a screen!

I do want to touch on something I've already seen in this thread, and that happens to be about elitism. As much as people moan about this, I have rarely seen true elitism in my nearly 3 years in this hobby, either online or off. Most people at my local meets seem to have a favorite brand. There are Volks people like me, CP people, etc. But I've never once seen anyone snub another doll just because it happened to be a cheaper brand. Sure, we all gravitate towards the dolls we like, and I'm probably guilty of paying more attention to Volks dolls than others. But is that really elitism?

 

1) On the whole, do you think the BJD community or social aspects of the community are ever detrimental to your collecting and enjoyment of dolls?

I think they can be encouraging for people who are either interested in BJDs as first contacts but quite often I have found that they become a social click and those who do not fit the expected protocol some times get ignored and treated as if they are not valued.
I personally joined and am membered to a large number of groups and have found some to be quite nice while others have been limited in cordiality because they do appear to be focused on how many of a particular doll from a specific doll company their members own and the amount of money spent for said dolls. While I can see that enthusiasm for the dolls can create an air of self gratifying distinction for doll owners I can not ascribe to the social behaviors that can sometimes send an unintentional message to some members suggesting rejection of their input.
I basically agree with everything you have written in response to your other questions. Groups are a part of our social make up as humans and we all need to be aware of the fact that in all forms we can do harm or charm depending on each of our personal interactions within any group or forum.

 

Oh man, it's been SO HELPFUL to be here! I can only speak for Den of Angels specifically, as a community. I very rarely join forums these days and I've surprised myself at how active I've been here, haha! I'm not looking for buckets of compliments on my doll or desperate to get into any "cliques" really, but I didn't expect that in the first place ... I just want to learn stuff about BJDs so I can enjoy mine even better! I love sections like the Box Opening thread as everyone there is always so happy to recieve their new dolls. I like the gallery threads and seeing what amazing things people have done with their modding and face-ups and photo sets, and I adore things like the sewing and making stuff threads! I love seeing how creative everyone is and it's so inspiring!

I wouldn't have had the confidence to purchase my first doll had I never come here. It seemed so daunting. But seeing so many other people that had already been through it, their ups and downs, made me feel much more ready.

I had a couple of problematic moments with my new doll which mainly involved me feeling quite nervous of her. I'd never handled an ABJD before and wasn't 100% confident on how I was doing ... she was very tightly strung, was I going to mess her up, how can I loosen her, can I really re-string her when she's as tight as this, etc. etc. ... I threw out a question here and got a response immediately. The reply was basically that I shouldn't worry about how I'm handling her and really, they ARE firmer than they look! I was so grateful for that ... it just gave me so much confidence in handling her and I feel so much better around my doll now!

I feel supported here, personally. To me, that's what I'd like from a community.

 

Bearing in mind I only have the online community in the form of websites, forums, and individuals. Maybe one day I'll meet some real life bjd owners. In any event...
1) On the whole, do you think the BJD community or social aspects of the community are ever detrimental to your collecting and enjoyment of dolls?
I can't really think of an instance where this has occurred. Admittedly, I haven't bought from a marketplace seller yet, which might change my attitude if I deal with some irresponsible person who seemed outwardly sane. The elitism I hear so much about never affects me and would not if I encountered it in some form. Elitists who pin their ego on some object exist in all hobbies. Maybe I can't answer this question well at all since I only know of the online community, where one can easily ignore aspects which they do not like. Sure, I would like the ability to smite some people with lightning bolts for their infantile ways on some forums...

2) To what extent does community/socialization simply bring the same pressures back to bear in what was intended to be a fun "break"?
Thwe only pressure I feel is self-imposed inspiration and motivation to do something I and others might enjoy. I don't feel like I have to buy the most expensive dolls or the most expensive outfits. I think the fun would vanish in an instant if I felt as if I were competing or trying to keep up with others.

3) What role do you think socialization/ community should play in the BJD hobby?
Sharing of ideas and experience, guiding newcomers, and generally doing the best to make this a fun hobby for people of all backgrounds. Encouraging a friendly environment while accomodating people of widely different viewpoints. This is not life or death stuff-it is a hobby. Maybe we could try harder to be inclusive rather than taking pride in being insular(depending on where you go online).

4) In light of your answer to (3), what role do you think the community actually DOES play?
I think mostly the community is doing good in the positive things I mentioned. Sometimes I think there may be a bit of general "we are unique and special 'cause we got bjds and you ordinary folk will never get it" going with some people. Maybe this is less a community thing than individual. For the large part, I have found there are so many great people in the hobby that I easily forget the few somewhat annoying things.

 

1) On the whole, do you think the BJD community or social aspects of the community are ever detrimental to your collecting and enjoyment of dolls?

I think it keeps the interest alive. It's one thing to have a doll and buy things online occasionaly and a completely different thing to have places like DOA where you can come to daily. Personally, I don't use places like this to actually socialize with other people, to make friends. But DOA has become a wonderful source of information, help and inspiration (not to mention a place to buy some goodies ). I think it's great to have a place to share photos, doubts, information... Getting feedback can be very educational and rewarding, making the experience of having a bjd even more fulfiling.

I don't really care for the negative aspects of it. I am aware of them, but they will never take the enjoyment away from the hobby. There will always be people and attitudes that we can't relate to. When so many people gather in one place there's bound to be people or actions that we won't like. Just because someone shares our hobby it doesn't mean they share our mindset.

2) To what extent does community/socialization simply bring the same pressures back to bear in what was intended to be a fun "break"?

I think there's the pressure of not being as good as some faceup artists, not taking good photos, not being able to sew as well, not having a certain doll... It's life. I do sometimes wish I was as good as some people in certain things, but that feeling should always lead to more effort and not to self loathing.

3) What role do you think socialization/ community should play in the BJD hobby?

It should be a place to find help, support or constructive criticism when it is asked for. The fact that it provides some people with the chance to have meetups and such is also wonderful, I wish I could participate as well. It's also a great place to give unwanted dolls a new home, it works like an adoption agency, in a way

4) In light of your answer to (3), what role do you think the community actually DOES play?

It plays the part it should. The fact that there are people involved means that there is always margin for error and a few misconducts. But that is to be expected everywhere.

 

1) On the whole, do you think the BJD community or social aspects of the community are ever detrimental to your collecting and enjoyment of dolls?

This is actually the first online community I ever joined. I have had lots of fun here and made friends, some of them in real life, so it has been a positive experience for me. I prefer to ignore negative people and things that do not hold my interest.


2) To what extent does community/socialization simply bring the same pressures back to bear in what was intended to be a fun "break"?

I collect dolls for fun and do not consider myself a "serious" collector, even though I own a bunch of them. If someone likes my dolls, that's great; if not, it doesn't bother me. I have noticed here and in real life that some people seem to enjoy conflict and constantly involve themselves in stressful situations. I dislike pressure and conflict of any sort and avoid it if possible.


3) What role do you think socialization/ community should play in the BJD hobby?

I value the community because it is the best place to find answers to questions and to find out about new products. I also enjoy the exchange of ideas and find inspiration in the work of the many talented artists here. I try not to dwell on the things I dislike about the forum because it is not in my power to change them and I do not wish the negative aspects to affect my enjoyment of the dolls.

4) In light of your answer to (3), what role do you think the community actually DOES play?

I think people can get exactly whatever they wish here. If they want information and inspiration, it's readily available. If they want serious philosophical debate, that's here too. If they want someone to complain to and/or quarrel with, there's probably someone here willing to oblige them. This is such a huge forum that there is something for everyone.

 

1) On the whole, do you think the BJD community or social aspects of the community are ever detrimental to your collecting and enjoyment of dolls?

Not in the slightest. I come to online forums, particularly DoA, for information and discussion; I go to RL meetups to socialize with other doll fiends. It's nice when people admire my dolls, but my self-esteem is not based on comments from relative strangers. I own my dolls for my own satisfaction, not to win points from other people. I'm also grown up enough to know when a person has a valid criticism and when they're being a jerk, and treat them accordingly. I don't go about creating drama, and I prefer other people keep theirs to themselves as well.

2)To what extent does community/socialization simply bring the same pressures back to bear in what was intended to be a fun "break"?

The online community is what I do when I'm on down time at work, so it is a break, but just from tedium. I don't feel any pressure from it, and if I did I'd blow it off rather than let it affect the way I feel about *MY DOLLS*. If I'm happy with my dolls, why would I waste time paying attention to what other people think?

3) What role do you think socialization/ community should play in the BJD hobby?

I think the natural emphasis of community is on meeting places, as in the science fiction community, where everyone is reading and viewing on their own time and then come together in conventions or local groups to discuss and socialize. "Being welcoming" is too vague--every member of DoA can't say a personal hello to every new member, members of the local meetup can't all be best friends with everyone else, and everyone has a cultural prejudice about what is welcoming and what isn't. I'd say "being accessible"--for information and assistance--is a more practical goal. It's necessary for any community to police itself against illegal and unethical behavior, but the idea of setting up gatekeepers is ridiculous--who gets to judge who's "undesirable" and how does the entire community agree on standards of desirablility? That kind of thing is more work and trouble than it can possibly be worth and leads to nothing but schisms, scandals and vendettas. Just ask around the SF cons if you want examples .

4) In light of your answer to (3), what role do you think the community actually DOES play? Is it pretty close to the role you think it SHOULD play, or is it different?

Keeping in mind that I'm not much of a joiner, I think the BJD community is doing well, all in all. There are a lot of mature, knowledgable people who want to be helpful and share information. Compared to the dramafest that is anime fandom, the doll community is fairly reasonable. If people can remember to use the manners they should have been taught, realize that tastes differ, and not take things personally, all will continue to be well.

 

Oh, yes, true. Just to clarify, I was using "cultural" not just or even primarily in terms of nationality, but regional and family culture as well. I could come off as unfriendly because I was raised by and as a good Minnesota Norwegian Lutheran, and find physical contact highly intrusive (I know, I know, there are bound to be MNLs who go around hugging everyone in sight. Please do not introduce me to them!). Anyone who likes to touch their friends casually will find me cold and rigid, and I will find them obnoxiously grabby. It's partially personal preference, but my family milieu and the ethnic/regional culture I grew up in informs my attitude toward what I consider appropriate for interpersonal interactions and what's out of bounds.

 

Well, I'm lucky I guess since I got my friend into the hobby (and there is also the fact that my boyfriend doesn't mind and find some of them cute). But since BJD aren't very known in Quebec, I kind of rely on forum like Materiel Celeste (a french forum) and DoA to keep myself up to date with the news in the community. If I didn't have those forum to give me acces to information, I would probably never got into the hobby in the first place. Without tutorials and examples shared by members, I would not have known how many things you can do with your doll. The hobby is kind of exotic here. I think there is only one compagny selling BJD based in Canada and it's situated in Alberta or in British Comlumbia. So... the normal reaction I get when I talk about BJD is ''what are you talking about?'' ''What's that?'' ''They're kind of creepy.'' and '' A Barbie?''.

I'm not really into meeting up with other member, and I'm more of a silent stalker, but it's still nice to know that you're not the only one with the ''weird'' hobby. But for what I have seen in Materiel Celeste, everyone pretty much know each other, since it's a small community. The only negative consequence of it, is that the information that I get is limited. To make it simple, in my case I'm mostly here for the database and in Materiel Celeste for the community.

But even then, I don't live and go to see the forum everyday, and doesn't have a big impact on me. I want to get a doll for myself first. I don't have to live up to some ''standart'' imposed by the forum. It would be nice if everyone could like my doll, but we all have differents opinions and I respect that. We can't please everyone.

So I guess the community is here to share ideas and news between members, to feel like we belong in a group that accept us and to talk about this wonderful hobby that is the BJD world.

 

1) On the whole, do you think the BJD community or social aspects of the community are ever detrimental to your collecting and enjoyment of dolls?

Even though I've joined other communities in the past, I left them soon after because I tend to like DoA most of all. Most of the time, I enjoy being on here. I think having a community, like DoA is good for me because it gives me a reason to be in the hobby. If I didn't know that there was such a community, I might not have been so adamant about buying my own doll - heck, DoA is where I learned that there were more companies than Volks, which allowed me to know that I didn't have to spend so much on a doll if I didn't want to.

Of course, there are some setbacks to such a community. It's not a size thing, but a frequency thing - or maybe size does contribute a little? Sometimes, it's hard to get answers to questions, even if you have to ask a few times. Even thought there are so many people, some members are on more than others, and this has the potential to mislead people if those people are the only ones responding. That clears up in a few days, however.


2) Another thing to consider is that for many people, dolls may be intended as an escape from the pressures of having to deal with other people daily in work, school or social settings. To what extent does community/socialization simply bring the same pressures back to bear in what was intended to be a fun "break"?

It shouldn't; I feel that if you start thinking that you have some kind of duty or obligation to be on DoA, then you need to step away for a day or two. The forum will be here when you return, and no one will care - or even notice - that you weren't on.


3) What role do you think socialization/ community should play in the BJD hobby?

I think the community/social aspect is a great way to keep the hobby alive. If there wasn't a community of doll owners, like I said, I wouldn't have gotten a doll. I don't think anyone is obliged to provide anything to the community, but it's a courtesy to help newcomers and to welcome them. After all, what is the harm of having newcomers into the hobby?

I don't think we should try to "screen out" anyone for any of the reasons mentioned (fads, lack of research...). Dolls are not people or pets, thus they are not living, so they can do whatever they want with them. If a person buys a doll, and decides they don't want to be in the hobby, that's their choice. If someone wants to buy a Bobobie, they're free to do that, too. Hobbyists should be allowed to enjoy their hobby any way they want to; we're completely free to disagree, but we shouldn't oppose our ideas of what a hobbyist should be onto them.

I think that hobbyists shouldn't feel like the weight of the BJD hobby is on their shoulders.


4) In light of your answer to (3), what role do you think the community actually DOES play? Is it pretty close to the role you think it SHOULD play, or is it different?

The community should be a place of a certain amount of guidance, and support. When it comes to relatively trivial things, we shouldn't allow ourselves to get so worked up about it. After all, where do sock dresses fit in the big scheme of things? Is it really that important your doll doesn't come from a less expensive company?

So far, I think the community is pretty hands-off when it comes to what people do with their dolls. You'll see a few threads asking "Is it OK to..." and most - if not all - the replies are to do whatever you want with your doll.

Of course, sometimes, people will come across people who have their own standards when it comes to how people should treat their dolls. That can sometimes intimidate people, and make them falsely believe that the general community has high standards; but the majority of members do what they can to make new members feel welcome and part of the group.

 

1) On the whole, do you think the BJD community or social aspects of the community are ever detrimental to your collecting and enjoyment of dolls?
No. If they were, I simply wouldn't visit BJD sites. The only thing that might be considered bad is that I don't want to tell people IRL about the hobby because they might go to a BJD forum and then make assumptions about how I interact with my dolls. I see nothing wrong with people in the community who have very strong bonds with their dolls, but I'm a bit more casual about the hobby, and I don't want people who know me to get the wrong idea. For instance, I would never consider my doll anywhere near as important as my dog, and I know some people online view them like a family member.

2) Another thing to consider is that for many people, dolls may be intended as an escape from the pressures of having to deal with other people daily in work, school or social settings. To what extent does community/socialization simply bring the same pressures back to bear in what was intended to be a fun "break"?
I think that if people take the community very seriously, this could make them feel very pressured. There's a lot of discussion about the "right" way to enjoy dolls, debates on the attractiveness of various dolls, etc. I can imagine some people who buy an unpopular doll might come to forums and see their sculpt getting insulted - this could upset them just like something silly like not having trendy clothes in high school upsets some people. Also, comparing ones customization skills to those with more talent could also pressure people. Nothing like this really bothers me, but I can definitely see how the community could make people feel pressured if they're the type of person who wants to fit in.

3) What role do you think socialization/ community should play in the BJD hobby? Some of the roles people have suggested in the past that a community should play include the following:
I agree with what you suggested with the exception of preventing "undesirables". Why care if someone doesn't do research or just buys the doll as a fad? I can't see that it affects anyone other than the person who bought the doll. The only reason lack of research could affects others is if the person later sells the doll and doesn't know how to describe its condition. I don't see anything wrong with people who think, "Oh, these are pretty. I'll buy one!" Unless they're on welfare and using that money to buy dolls instead of necessities...


4) In light of your answer to (3), what role do you think the community actually DOES play? Is it pretty close to the role you think it SHOULD play, or is it different?
I think the community is so massive (or seemingly massive) that it manages to carry out its roles successfully. The only way I can think of that would make it better for me is if more people posted pictures, especially of unpopular sculpts and resin comparisons. There are some sculpts I never see and I know someone must have bought them.

 

I'm going to be short with this, but I think the community is a very positive thing. I don't think I would have enjoyed dolls nearly half as much without finding others who also collect. I joined a group and I've learned so much from them. Same goes with the forum, if it didn't exist, I would know next to nothing about dolls, companies, brands, clothes, sizes, wigs etc- almost to the point where it would be overwhelming and I may have even stopped the hobby.

 

I enjoy interacting with people who have the same passions and hobbies as me (I haven't been deep into any social aspects of the BJD community yet, but I hope to soon), but if they (in the other communities I've been in) get catty or obnoxious, elitist, snobby, dramatic, jealous, ridiculous, or ignorant... etc, I just give them the "metaphorical" finger (ok, sometimes literal finger) and keep on keeping on. No one is going to spoil my fun. I'm in this for me first and foremost, not anyone else. Friend are just a happy byproduct of a hobby, and I'm glad to have them. If they don't want to know me, then that's fine, to me that's their loss, not mine.

I'll be 30 in a couple months (and am very pregnant), I am way past the age and place in life where I was willing to spend hours debating with someone over some petty BS... you know what? Don't have time for that anymore, lol.

Community is one thing, but I am not at ALL into the idea of cliques, and will tend to avoid them. I'll only participate with the members of a clique on an individual basis and ignore than the clique exists as a clique... if that makes sense? I prefer dealing with individuals who are as open to everyone else as I am.

An unified umbrella community is necessary to sell and trade dolls, items, and share ideas. I should be able to buy, sell, and share with people, but not have to be buddy-buddy with them, and likewise, I want to be able to be friends with someone but not feel obligated to sell or buy from them. A doll community is like a real community... there are friends, enemies, merchants, customers, bystanders, and activists... and you aren't always all those things to everyone else, and that's ok! But yea... as for the other stuff I mentioned (drama, cattiness and so on)? Don't want it, don't need it, won't allow it in my life.

 

I really love the community, I think the only thing I would like to see more of is more meets that work out. Seems like things get planned often and then nothing happens.

 

I think a community is good because it's more exposure to more dolls. All mine were about $600+ and I didn't even know you could get a large doll for much cheaper and it would still look nice until I looked around this place. You can find some rare things to buy and meet people who can offer services that you can't get from doll companies, like specialized clothing orders and more specific faceups. Maybe every now and then you'll run into somebody rude and snarky but it's not hard to avoid certain forums or certain people if you feel you need to. I don't really let other people's preferences influence what type of dolls I like but it's great to meet people that can help you fix problems, like I was recently annoyed by my doll's excessive makeup and someone told me how to easily and safely remove it and it took like 2 minutes when I've been mad about it for 2 months. lol

 

1) On the whole, do you think the BJD community or social aspects of the community are ever detrimental to your collecting and enjoyment of dolls?
Anytime a bunch of humans get together, IRL or online, there's the occasional bad apple who's negativity makes it a bummer sometimes. Some people criticize too harshly, or just talk others down. Fortunately, in this community, there's also many people to be encouraging and kind.

2) Another thing to consider is that for many people, dolls may be intended as an escape from the pressures of having to deal with other people daily in work, school or social settings. To what extent does community/socialization simply bring the same pressures back to bear in what was intended to be a fun "break"?
If you do it too much, sure it can, but for many people, it's a good way to make friends. Making friends is really hard when you're a grown-up, unless you drink a lot. Having people to see and look forward to can be a really good break in itself. And there's still many personal aspects to the hobby that are private wit your doll, like sewing and photo shoots.

3) What role do you think socialization/community should play in the BJD hobby?
Making friends! Humans in general need social interaction, at least a little. We're an interdependent species. Meeting other people helps make us feel like a person ourselves. Also, we give each other praise for our hard work. This really helps our self esteem, which could be hurt by an un-accepting community IRL.

4) In light of your answer to (3), what role do you think the community actually DOES play?
For the most part, I think it really does what it should. Brings those of like-minds together and we get stronger emotionally. We need each other.

 

The social part is one of the best parts. At a big summer meet up I went to, I got to meet one of my friends in the hobby in real life for the first time, and met a lot of wonderful people there too. XD Few of them helped me look for stuff for my dolls when it came to the sales tables, since I was looking for wigs for two of my boys, it was so nice of them to help. The only disappointment was a disappointment for all three of us...Someone bought up all the doll underwear! XD