Social Status

This. I don't think there are as many elitists as people like to think. I think there are a few people going around proclaiming Volks the One True BJD or BBB the only dolls worth buying, but really they are just loud and all over the place being loud. I know several people who had the same experience I did with the same elitist all over the course of only a few weeks. She was constantly forced to find someone new to talk to because she kept alienating herself from others. I've been in this hobby for over 7 years now and that is the only elitist I've ever met. Mostly I just hear a lot of perceived elitism from people who think owners of expensive dolls/doll clothes are looking down on them.

I do think there are a few people in the hobby who do think there is some sort of social status, but not that many. I can only think of a couple of people who are actually trying to rub it in faces that they have so many dolls or limiteds or whatever. Most of the talk about the statuses is from people assuming that the people who buy the limiteds or expensive clothes or 80 dolls are snubbing their noses at those without.

As they say, haters gonna hate. In any semi large group of people you will have all types, including the bad. Its not highschool and you don't have to get approval from any cheerleaders by buying the right dolls. So stop fretting about this imaginary slight or you'll see it in all sorts of places where it doesn't exist.

 

Reading through this thread, I'm reminded of that famous quote (I'm paraphrasing here) about how life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it. Good words to live by.

 

^This for me, too. I know we've talked a lot of insecurities and things like that, but this makes a lot of sense for me.

I remember being a freshman in high school, and having to adjust for the first time in a LONG time. I was coming from a very small school and from a graduating 8th grade class of only 7. I'd gone through elementary/middle school with the same people for 9 years (including Kindergarten), so I knew everyone. In high school, I knew no one, and life put me in such a position to not allow me to develop great social skills. I thought everyone hated me, so I hated them back. Cut to graduation, I knew everyone in my class, and was well liked.

This is also a hindrance in online forums (like DoA). I always thought that just because someone challenged me on something I said meant that I was being attacked, and seriously considered never going back. Today, I still don't like it when people challenge me, but that's not going to make me leave everything behind.

So you might have to give some people time, too. Some might come into the hobby thinking that no one likes their doll, and resent them, but no one has ever really got the chance to get to know them.

But I still think, in addition to that kind of insecurity, there are people who just like to point fingers. Maybe they *don't know* they're insecure about it, but we can't take the time to psychoanalyze everybody.

 

Reading through the later half of this thread again has gotten me thinking about Carl Jung, and projection and how often times we project our own feelings about a matter onto someone else or something else, especially if we're insecure about it. All that reading between the lines stuff, when there's nothing there to read. Sometimes we just need to take a step back and analyze why we feel or think the way we do. Often times we'll find that it has nothing to do with what person A said or did but because of our own insecurities about our things.

 

I believe my comment about Elitism/Social Status and Full Sets was a little misunderstood.
My main concept is a lot of the time the real hero's of awesome full sets are the companies/creator's who create them. Which often goes unknown - do we really know who is behind these ideas all the time?

I'm not saying and never would say there is no right to enjoy or be proud of a full set- I'd like to own many myself. But at the end of the day & because the hobby naturally calls for it - If a person is able to create a very awesome doll on their own (even if it consists of buying every single piece of that doll, having it commissioned or whatnot, or slaving over an outfit for 40 hours with bleeding fingers in the end) I would see them being more proud of that doll then buying a pre-made full set to your door.(This is just my opinion and I'm fine if people don't agree- but in no way am I saying this as an insult or a lesser judge.) No matter if your doll is a one of a kind, a standard or a limited amount, please brag, love , enjoy, your doll, share it with the world and all that will listen. We all do what we have to do to get our dolls & that is enough of anything to be proud just to have one(or many.)

My thinking also varies on the limitation of the full set- if it's a Limited 1 or a Limited 75. If a person is able to snag that one of a kind doll - I do believe they should be proud. But for a limited 75 set (this would be interesting - unlikely since people do splits) to gather every single one of that doll and have them all be with each other- it's the same doll, In fact it would be a small army. And if this need for social status happened people will get down to bickering in the very end for the need to be better-- It would come down to WHAT number they got out of the limited like AHAH i got mine before all of you i'm better kind of deal.

If you view a person bragging as looking down on other's you might be just seeing it wrong. Or not it all depends on the person and the situation. But at the end of the day dolls are theirs to their owners and it doesn't really matter what others judge of your doll - if you don't like it and aren't happy with it the doll generally doesn't stick around and gets adopted.
Regardless of cost,quality,amount,originality etc. I would never blame anyone or deny anyone the right to think their doll is awesome.

I'm also not saying that I see Elitism and Bragging going around, but in general thought process of If A and B happened my opinion on A and B would be - blahblahblah.
In fact, the beautiful thing about DoA is that everyone generally tends to be very positive and optimistic about any and every kind of doll. I would have to say i've never seen a case of "Your doll stinks look at mine it's so much better" If people don't like it generally they don't say anything about it. Social Status is a tricky thing, people want to fit in very hard and be liked most of the time so they will start to have these uneasy thoughts and misconceptions about anything and everything.
Given any reason or any factor, people will do what they like and you are always going to find people who think like you do so it's all okay!

 

Wow, such an intense thread, IMO... Not heated, but just very interesting and curious.

I've got to say that I'm the kind of person who owns only limiteds, but I don't believe myself to be a snob. I just cannot buy every doll I want to, and give priority to those that have a limited quantity, or selling time. Though I'm going to sound conceited, I get the feeling a friend is slightly jealous of me for that fact, even though she owns three wonderful and beautiful dolls. What gives me that feeling is that I listen to everything she tells me about her doll's stories, but she cuts me pretty quickly when I talk about mine. Maybe she's just not patient, or my stories are boring as hell

I do know people who's as snobbish about their dolls as it can be, and have actually declared themselves better than certain other people because they own more expensive dolls, and a larger number of them at that. Without trying to be disrespective, seeing people of lesser social status in RL insult another person of higher status to thei faces just because the snob owned a volks, and the other one a DoC (cannot remember if it was DoD or Fairyland, it was long ago and I couldn't identify them as well as now) was pretty stupid.

I don't believe that, by owning a certain doll brand, owners are trying to set themselves as of certain status. We supossedly buy dolls because we like them, the way they look, the character they could become, the possibilities. We buy a certain doll because we see its heart, and we want to bring it out. Not because we're looking at prices.

So, maybe there's people out there who bullies others because of the different doll houses, but that's only because in any other thing they are bullies too. Maybe there's people who believes themselves better than me because they own a Volks instead of my DZ or luts (no offense to volks owners, I actually love Volks dolls and would love to get a certain one or two...). I don't really care, I find it actually pitiful and worth of compassion when people cannot bring themselves to be happy for people that actually manages to obtain what they wished and worked for.

I cna only be thankful that in this forum there seems to be so many good people who can happily share any owner's excitement over a new doll, no matter what.

 

I've found this thread very interesting in that there are perceptions that buying certain brands, buying primarily fullsets or customizing as opposed to pre-made all can constitute elitism or snobbery.

I've been a collector of various things for a long and came to BJD's from the fashion doll world. Now that world can be an elitist's paradise and one of the things I did like about BJD's is that it is often about the doll you love and the character that doll has become not the brand. I've seen at dollmeets a teen's inexpensive BJD be their beloved treasure and I appreciate that even if that particular doll may hold no appeal to me.

For myself I prefer mature realistic sculpts and I do buy fullsets. That's mostly because when a fullset is released, it's often a new sculpt and I don't have the patience to wait for a basic (that is if it will come as a basic).

 

yeah! You said it!
Seriously..who really cares?? What you choose to collect..what you choose to value? It's really ALL a personal choice, for goodness' sake. If someone keeps them in a closet, are they anything more than a horder? A greedy collector waiting to cash in on a good thing??
Oh, geez...buy what you LOVE. And ENJOY it! What else is the POINT??
Diamonds can sit in the Earth for a millinium an be nothing but a rock in the dirt till you pull it OUT and make it valuable.

That's just my thought.

 

That's something of a bigger assumption than seeking status is, don't you think? How someone chooses to store their dolls doesn't make them a scalper any more than it makes them a snob, jeez.

 

We are well on our way to invoking Godwin's law, I think.

 

Buying dolls for social status. Hmm.

So far, admitting to people that I collect a bunch of big expensive dolls with removable eyes and sculpted resin wieners has only gotten me higher on the weirdo list.

But I assume we're talking about social status within our hobby, so I'll stay on task.

When I hear people talking about their love for this or that company, what they will or won't dress their dolls in, how they store them, how they display them, elitism is never the first thing that comes to my mind, practicality and personal taste is! I'm sure there are some in this hobby who do certain things with their collection to be uppity, but for the most part I think people just want to express themselves with their dolls and enjoy them in the way that's best for them. I've seen some people in this thread harping on others for putting their dolls in their boxes or keeping them in a closet, but some people don't feel comfortable leaving something so expensive out all the time. After all, it is only a several hundred dollar item made out of a material known to yellow more rapidly in the light.

For those who actually DO think their dolls make them better, I have some pretty expensive dolls and lots of pricey wigs, eyes, shoes, and especially clothes for them. It hasn't made me any less aware of the fact that I'm not going to be the empress of the galaxy any time soon. My handful of Volks limiteds didn't stop me from dropping a half carton of eggs all over the floor today (yes, I'm still mad about it). I think it would benefit people on either extreme of the issue to remember that dolls are not serious business.

 

Not to be confused, but isn't this a rather large and almost ridiculous assumption to make about anyone? How people store, play with or don't play with their dolls should be left to personal preference. I could keep my doll locked in a security facility and need three other people to unlock the vault with me with special keys and that's my perogative. Unless I specifically state it's to retain resale value or to hoard away, why assume anything of the sort? Maybe I enjoy more the fact that nothing will ever happen to them. Who knows? Regardless, no one should make rules and assumptions over how someone "enjoys" their doll whether that's to fling them around everyday or to make sure they are what one could consider 100% safe.

 

Omigod, the hitler-clock is ticking. Any minute now.

 

Erm. I'm actually one of those collectors who keeps their dolls in their boxes. I do it because I spent months saving up for these dolls, and I want them to last as long as possible. I have enough of a problem letting my books yellow, let alone dolls.

I bought ALL of my dolls with the intention of keeping them until circumstances either force me to sell them, or they turn into dust. Just having them is enough for me.

 

I also hear, just sayin', that people that don't buy or bake their dolls fresh totally-to-scale cookies daily are into puppy-kicking. And baby-eating. I might not go so far as to call them Hitler... they could just be tragically misguided and totally not as good as the people who spend the time and money to special order those mini chocolate chips. And it's not like you can't carve them down yourself from the full size chips if you could be bothered to take the time, I mean, jeez, it's not even hard. Some people obviously do not care about their dolls!</crazypants>

 

Owning enough Volks dolls gives you the power to summon Mother SD who will then grant you three wishes.

Trufax.

It's why I have so many, so that I too can own my own pet utahraptor named Mr. Bojangles.

(Also, surreality, I know you don't bake your dolls cookies every day so don't lie!)

On a more serious note, it is a gigantic assumption to assume that just because someone's idea of how they own enjoy their own dolls means they are an evil, money grubbing scalper. I can understand not fully understanding the enjoyment factor of a different ownership style, I for one will never understand why some people take their dolls with them everywhere, but do accept that that is how they play and it is not the same as how I play.

 

I am discovered! *shameface*

(I totally make my mom do it. Where do you think those mini cheesecakes came from?)

For the record, my crazypants are really comfy.

 

*gigglesnorts* I really gotta stop reading this stuff during work. Now I want mini cheesecakes.

And perhaps it's my young naivety and trusting side coming out but I seem to had read frankiecats statement slightly differently, in a sarcastic rhetorical, the answer is clearly no kind of way, but perhaps not worded the best. Either way perhaps frankiecat will either clarify or explain their statement.

 

Too bad we just waste those wishes on more Volks dolls. XD

 

Like it or not, encourage it or not, condone it or not, in any fandom there will be a hierarchy. Just the other day, somebody made a passing reference to BNFs. (I can't remember which thread, or even the context, but I was surprised to see the term used in reference to bjds.) But I can only assume the hierarchy, as it exists, has much less to do with cost of dolls owned, and way more to do with forum (and other community) participation, skills in photography, face-ups, costuming, etc. - the kinds of things that get people noticed and admired/followed in any kind of group.

I know that I have found people here who I think are well worth following, just because I am consistently impressed by the quality of their output and the clarity of their posts. It has jack diddly squat to do with how much money they spent, the brand of their dolls, etc.