Spreading out your attention

Mar 17, 2019

    1. How do you spread your attention between your dolls? I feel like if I don't give them the same amount of attention (or even attention all the time) I feel like I wasted my money. I love them to bits but I can't get over this. Anyone else feel this way?
       
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    2. I've been there. I kind of tend toward the "does it spark joy?" feeling. Even if I can't make the exact same amount of time for all my dolls (because c'mon, we all have favorites) as long as I still enjoy having the others around, and making time for them doesn't feel like a chore, then I feel its money well spent.
      Now, theres all sorts of if's, and's, or but's to this. I personally have never paid full price for a doll. I buy 2nd just about everything I own in this hobby so I have a fraction of the wait times as a typical buyer so some thoughts like " I paid over 800$ and waited nearly 6 months for this doll that I hardly see, what a waste" don't really apply to me. Even if they did, I still feel my philosophy has some truth. Don't focus so much on how much time you're spending, think about the quality of the time. Do they instil you with loads of creativity? Are the shelling a character that really means something to you? Do you just generally enjoy their presence? All of these reasons and any inbetween makes it a worthy expense. I mean, as long as your other finances are in order what's wrong spending money on other goofy things we enjoy?
       
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    3. I used to feel like this when my second doll got home. What I used to do then was try to take the same number of photoshoots! Like: today I'm taking photos of Andromeda, so next time I do it will be Daniel. But then I noticed that I felt like this because I am very strict on myself. I tend to feel guilty over buying anything that's not "useful" or "necessary" for me even when I have some extra money, and it made me feel bad when I didn't touch my dolls for more than a week. Once I noticed so, I decided to change my mind: it's okay to have nice things, it's okay to spoil myself some. And then my relationship with my dolls changed too. It's a hobby, not a job in which I have the responsability to follow a schedule.
       
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    4. I try to vary the dolls I take photos of to keep things interesting. That way I also have a good portfolio of photos for all my dolls.
       
    5. As Matafleur said, it's a hobby and not a job with a schedule to stick to. I currently have 4 full dolls and two floating heads, with another floating head due once the layaway is paid off and another full doll in the planning stage. There are going to be times when one is favoured above the other 3. Or, one is going to be forgotten more so than the other 3. I try to split my time equally, but I'm finding the one MSD in the group [the rest are SD+] is getting neglected. To the point where I'm thinking I might sell him. Once I get all the floating heads their bodies, and the other doll I have planned, there will be even less time for the little dude. Although, from where I'm writing this, he's looking at me as though to say "I belong here! Don't sell me!"...
       
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    6. Right now I don’t have this issue as both of my dolls are the same sculpt. But I think it’s perfectly normal to favor or give more attention to some dolls over others. I felt bad for not bonding with my tan doll at first with the default face up but I think it really helps when dolls are the same size and can share items and take pictures together. I keep thinking of wanting to get different size dolls but I think if that happens, I would naturally have to give up some resources to the different sized dolls.
       
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    7. I felt this way when I had 30+ dolls. It was just too much and none of them looked good because I didn't have the time, money or motivation to make them all what I wanted.

      Now I have 16 dolls and it's much easier. Most of them are in the same story line, so when I'm changing them, taking pictures, playing, whatever, I can do group things with them. There's also the fact that they're just dolls, they won't suffer if I get too busy and ignore them for a bit. They don't really need anything. But if I do start feeling overwhelmed again, I can always sell off a few and focus more on the ones I keep.
       
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    8. This all makes sense. I guess for me it's just the whole, "You spent all this money and now they're just sitting around" thing that gets to me.
       
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    9. There is definitely guilt, because I do play favorites, but my dolls do all get enjoyed in different ways. Some I just enjoy looking at, others are perfect for cuddling, still others get all the clothes/get changed more often...I did get to a point where I had too many and felt uncomfortable and spread too thin, but I'm fairly happy now. As long as they inspire either comfort or creativity I'll probably be keeping them around.
       
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    10. I mostly cycle through depending on which of my dolls I have ideas for at a time, and it can be a year or more before I cycle back in my relatively small group. Some are easier to be the center of my attention than others, but usually my others are out as well. I'm looking forward to the warm weather this year as I'm planning on doing some refreshing work on my older dolls and giving them some updated outfits and faceups. I don't worry too much about one getting more attention than the others, so long as the others don't fall into disrepair.
       
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    11. As I only have 9 at moment I find it easy to rotate them however my model pony collect I think tops 300 so I don't get round them all. The one joy is that they along with the BJD's are all in my living room so I can just look and adore them so they all know they are loved.
      I wouldn't fret about it I am sure the BJDs don't mind :aheartbea
       
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    12. I had a house full of dolls and bears before BJD's even came on the scene, and now have over 50 BJDs. I play with whatever doll(s) I am I the mood to play with at the time.

      I have my favourites so some of them must get way more of my time than others, but I don't bother trying to calculate whether one is getting more attention over the others - they're inanimate objects after all, it doesn't matter to the dolls.

      Teddy
       
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    13. I actually stress over not giving all my dolls equal attention, or storing them in dark places. I have a pretty decent collection of all kinds of dolls, and I get sad for them sometimes since most of my focus has been on my BJDs
       
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    14. Personally, I don't worry about "spending time" with each of my dolls equally. I like having dolls because they add amusement to my life; I don't want them to add stress. For me, when negativity encroaches on the things I do for fun, it usually means I need to make some adjustments. If you have a haunting feeling like you've wasted your money, perhaps that's a sign that your collection is larger than would be ideal for you. If you worry about equal attention and feel that doing so is a struggle, maybe it's a sign to take a step back. It seems like a shame to feel bound up in stress for something that ought to be fun. I hope you find a better point of balance. ♥
       
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    15. I do feel like this at times, that I pay more attention to some dolls than others, and it does make me feel a little guilty. The thing is I usually find myself missing a doll if I haven't played with him in a while, so then I end up spending more attention on him again. So I've accepted that my interest in different dolls of mine comes and goes, but it's like a cycle and always balances out in the end.
       
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    16. I'll have to piggy-back off these lovely people! I also agree on "does it spark joy" for me. Also, I don't want my dolls to add stress to my life! I've had a few in the last year that just stressed me out beyond belief. I wasn't playing or bonding with them, I was never looking forward to photographing them. After a few weeks of this I sold them and felt a weight lifted off my shoulders.I also tend to think if the money I make by selling the doll could be used better than just a sitting piece of resin.

      So now, I only have 2 dolls and I love them dearly! It feels so much better (to me) that I only have the 2, and it is not overwhelming in any sense. :3nodding:
       
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    17. I just like having my dolls, even if I'm not spending time with them at the moment. I guess that's what it means to be a collector. They're not children - I don't need to spend equal time so that they'll feel loved and emotionally fulfilled, so whatever I choose to do with them is on my terms. I've had a couple of them sit in boxes for over a year without playtime, but when the spirit moves me, I might suddenly haul them out for days at a time. Whether or not you're wasting your money will really depend on you deciding why you bought them in the first place. :thumbup
       
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    18. Currently I have my two favourite dolls on display, one sitting on my cupboard and the other is sitting next to me at my desk. So I'm always taking a look at my grail doll while I can see my other doll on the cupboard when I'm leaving my bedroom.

      All in all my attention is pretty much spread out between my two favourite bjds and as os right now I'm only waiting for my last doll to arrive to complete my trio :)
      He will probably stand on my desk aswell at least for the first few weeks.
       
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    19. I've found that sometimes my mood just shifts. I'll be really into one of my dolls for a while and then my attention might shift to another for a while. I kind of think of it like roleplay terminology: the 'muse' or your inspiration for a particular character you're rping. In this case, it's for the dolls. The muse can wax and wane, but you still love your other dolls.
       
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    20. I don't really feel I've 'wasted my money' on any of my dolls just because I'm not giving it any attention at the moment. Sometimes I don't give any attention to any of my dolls at all, because I'm too busy on another hobby. Or something besides my hobbies takes up all of my time.
      I just went on a spree and bought quite a few dolls and parts on the MP, so I'm dividing my time between those, my crochet, the scarf I'm knitting as a gift, my work and my volunteer job.
      I would hate to be haunted by the idea that by sewing for my new kids I'm now 'neglecting' my existing dolls and they're so much wasted money on my shelves. I'm still enjoying them even though I'm not actively combing their wigs or buying them even more clothes.
       
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