Stopping The Temptation

When they "speak" to me? It's darn hard! Or was...until the shelf got too full with too many good dolls. ;}
When money is tight, or space is limited, or I can no longer give the individual dolls enough attention, then it can be easier to acknowledge the temptation without going for them.
Meanwhile, the dearmine boy sounds adorable!

 

Well…the truth of the matter is you DON’T! At least that was the case with me, and for a lot of others here too. In the beginning I also started out with the dream of having just one doll and spoiling them rotten. This was all the way back in 2006. But the exact same thing happened to me as you’re experiencing. That one got my imagination going, and now all these years later my characters (and my overall collection) has grown and grown. I used to worry this was a bad thing, as I slowly inched my arbitrary number limits ever higher over the years. But in the end I finally realized I was just enjoying my own creativity, and I finally quit worrying about limits and embraced the process. All these years later and I have a wonderful collection I can truly be proud of, and I wouldn’t have sacrificed a single creative moment or fascinating character along the way.

 

I find that if I am tempted by a doll, I think hard on them and their cost. Do they go with my current dolls? Who would they be? Can I afford them? If I don't think about them constantly, then it's not meant to be. I have managed to resist some dolls but I also have a lot - I am weak to elf ears. I own two Dearmine Cat dolls and I love them.

 

I think the best thing you can do for yourself here is to give it a three months. Stop looking at the doll. Remind yourself why you made that promise to yourself and set that rule. After three months, if you still want it, come back to this thread and read all of the advice here. Then give it another three months and start the cycle over again.

It doesn't have to be three months, by the way. It can be any stretch of time you like. I chose three months because it's a long-ish stretch of time and can help tell you if it's just a flash in the pan idea to start with. The key here is to give yourself deadlines to work towards. It can make it a lot easier to avoid something if you give yourself a set time in which not to do it.

 

I've seen a few people say they'll only get one, but the only way I've seen someone succeed is to buy one, ignore it, leave the hobby. Only the strongest are able to pull this feat off!!!

But give yourself lots of time to think and avoid impulse buys. The best part about resin boys is you can have many more than one of them Just don't buy so many you can't remember their names.

 

I agree with @cosmicakes about setting some kind of time limit for yourelf. It can be based on you income, your amount of free time or whatever works for you. It can even be a soft limit that is there mostly so that you have something to compare your behaviour to, rather than something that you follow to the letter.
I have a "1 doll a year" rule that has worked very well for me. I have not always followed it perfectly, but having the rule gives me perspective and reduces the risk of becoming speed blind and gradually buying more and more without realizing.

I was somewhat helped by the fact that I did not have the economy for more dolls when I started out and the fact that I make most of the clothes, face ups and props for my dolls myself and this takes time to do. Time is a limited resource too, after all.

Regardless of you situation, slowing down is always a good idea. This is not a fast hobby. Dolls are expensive, production times can be long, shipping things across the world also takes time, dolls and thair things takes up space in your home. There are real life limits for how big a collection you can maintain and enjoy, build up to it slowly and give yourself time to enjoy each doll.

 

I've already failed in my expectation to only have one doll, but I agree with everyone here on taking time with it. What's kept me away from making more purchases even with a sculpt speaking to me is just putting it on the backburner to let it sit for a bit. If I still want them after a month or two, I'll consider it more seriously, but what I've found with most of them is that after putting it out of my mind for a while I don't have as much of an urge to get them. Even though I still think the sculpt is beautiful, the need isn't there and I can just appreciate them from afar.

 

I'm a terrible person when it comes to self control. That said, I have a friend who has to be told before I purchase any new dolls, and he has permission to flick me on the nose and scold me if I'm not supposed to be buying dolls at the time. For your situation, I'd suggest having a friend hold you accountable for a period of time set in advance while you let yourself consider. If at the end you think you'd regret not buying the doll more than you would buying him, let yourself have two babies to spoil. It's okay to love more than one doll! It doesn't mean you love the first any less.

 

I think the only way to avoid temptation is to log off the internet permanently.

Unfortunately, I too was a "just this one" collector. Now I have many. I think the best way around it is to not go to sites that tempt you. Good luck!

 

A lot of us here have made the "just one doll" declaration and broken it - myself included, back in 2006. After acquiring nine dolls over time, I was able to go nine whole years without buying any bjds at all, but that was because of a rough financial situation, moving, juggling college and work, etc. I never sold any of my bjd, though I do have three floating heads and a body that'll be up for sale soon because I haven't done anything with them since acquiring them.

I'm very picky on which bjd to bring home and will extensively research as many options as possible before settling on a sculpt. "Is there anything about the face/body I don't like? Are there other sculpts like this that I like better? Does the price of the bjd seem reasonable considering what they come with?" Ask yourself questions like these and you could avoid buying a bjd only to find one later that would've been the perfect doll for your character.

Then I make a list of necessary expenses and ask myself if I want it enough to save for it. If yes, I'll put a small amount of money from each paycheck into a separate account until I have enough to cover the cost of the doll, the shipping, and any fees that may spring up. I have nothing against layaway options, but have set the restriction for myself that I must be able to buy the doll outright. If all these conditions are met and I still want the doll, then I purchase it. That way I have no regrets about the purchase.

If you've done all this and find that your heart is truly set on getting one of those gorgeous Dearmine catboys, and you can afford it without putting yourself in a financial hole, then you don't need to feel bad about it. I think most, if not all, of us have been there, so you're in good company. There's nothing wrong with doing something nice for yourself every once in a while.

*cough*Post pictures if you get him!*cough*

 

I'm not limited myself down to 1 but manage to keep my collection small for about 4 years. I have to keep up some rules to make this work. You could set your own rule when it come to a hobby like this.

My advice is don't limit it to 1... I'm 99% Sure that it will not work.
If you set it small but not 1 (Like 2,4, or5), it will be easier.

 

My rule of thumb is to sit on this for a couple of days. If you find yourself continuously thinking about and returning to the doll, then I say get him if the finances and ideas allow. But if this becomes a pattern where to continuously look through websites, finding more and more dolls to love, then you need to be more careful

 

I told myself if I ever got a doll, I'd be happy and only have one. But then Amir was lonely....

I think the biggest thing that holds me back is money, and that once I hit 39 dolls, I was so overwhelmed by all the clutter, I didn't really enjoy any of them. I sold almost every single one I had. Now I try to set a limit on how many I can have at a time. If I hit my limit and want a new one, then I have to decide if it's worth selling one to get that new one.

 

Heh, a doll "speaking to me" is my major criteria for buying them. A pretty face is not enough, the pretty face must also be personally meaningful to me. I have characters for all my dolls, and they all were inspired by their sculpts in the first place. So any new doll must "speak their character" to me before I will give it the time of the day.

Right now, I'm in an interesting position where I'm becoming very satisfied with my crew -- I have enough resin (both at home and on preorder) and enough characters to keep me very occupied with their stories and character development... to say nothing of making/buying all their correct appearances and clothes. I actually don't want anymore dolls. So I'm wondering whether any new sculpt will speak to me and ask to be let into the crew (and into my imagination), and what I'll do when that happens. I'll probably have to look at the whole crew, their character sheets (I keep a character sheet for every doll I own), all their existing relationships and stories, and also my space/living situation, and see if they -- and I -- can welcome a new doll/character.

I think that's what I'd do, but I'm not sure! We'll see what happens.

To the OP - perhaps your imagination/subconscious is telling you that you have more characters to add to the story? It's hard to tell a story with just one character. Maybe that second doll is worth it!

 

Let me start by saying I feel you with the Dear Mine catboys.

Something I do is reconsider why I have one doll.
The answer is because I want to spoil them, like you!

Sometimes I do see a doll in another size that I get a very clear idea for.
Tends to happen when I'm stressed, bored or waiting for something to arrive...

I remind myself that I could buy my one and only doll something nice for that price instead, or I play around with what I already have on hand. I've really been enjoying taking my time with this particular doll.

Do you feel like the physical presence of your characters is necessary or would you be content writing about him, drawing him, etc? I've found I prefer some of my characters in non-BJD form like a 3D model or plushie.

 

I'm lucky in that I enjoy delayed or denied gratification. With most dolls, I'm satisfied with looking and longing.

I also have 20 dolls at this point, making me very picky about future purchases. A doll would need to fulfill a list of criteria before I'd consider buying.

 

For me, it's having a layaway.
I know what doll I want to buy next, and I know it's limited, but I have my mind set on paying off my layaway first.
Every time I end up with a bit of extra money or resist having takeout, I put the money I would have spent into the layaway so I can save for more dolls sooner!

 

I'm not great at resisting temptation (I said no dolls this year, then none that aren't cyborg girls cuz I love robots, and now I have two new dolls this year with a third on the way. Oops.) but from my experience, what you did with the Oskar fullset is a good method! There's lots of gorgeous dolls out there, but some may not fit how you do dolls. Not having a character that speaks to you, not being great for how you like to spoil your dolls - I personally love to sew and knit for my dolls, and occasionally photograph them. Dolls like centaurs and mermaids, no matter how pretty, aren't the type I'm gonna make clothes for, so there's none of those in my collection.

Which could be a good expansion on your criteria. How do you like spoiling your dolls? Does the new doll you want lend itself to being spoiled that way? Can you spend at least part of that time with both the dolls at once, if you're worried about neglecting your first doll in the thrill of shiny and new?

And of course, as others have said, consider the physical limitations you've got. How much space can you reasonably allocate to storing the dolls themselves? What about their boxes, if you keep them? Their clothes? Shoes? Spare eyes and wigs? Supplies to craft stuff for them? Would getting another doll threaten to spill out of the space you've got? (Especially if you're looking at a doll in a different size than you've got, or if each doll absolutely needs to have a separate wardrobe.) Then of course there's monetary considerations. What other big expenses are you looking at? If, say, your computer crapped out, could you eat both that cost and the cost of a new doll? If you're not comfortable with those costs, are you motivated to save until you are so you can get the doll?

Multiple dolls can be fun! You can set them up to interact with each other, they can give you a chance to create things that wouldn't fit the first doll, and you can see the variation between different resins and such. But yeah, they do call for considerations before you bring them home.

 

Another tip, because I forgot to include it since it's not doll-specific for me: With larger purchases, I do the math and ask myself how many hours I would have to work to afford this, and is it worth that many hours of work to me. Is it going to take twenty hours of work? Do I consider it worth that many hours?
(My answer for dolls is often yes, I do consider them worth it, but I've still cut far more dolls than I've kept in my wish list with that criteria.)