Struggles

May 24, 2017

    1. This may be a bit personal...but has anyone here been in a position where they were struggling financially, or maybe not even struggling but not as comfortable as they would like to feel, been faced with the question of to sell your dolls or not?

      Im really torn. I love them and have put in a lot of time and money.I feel like I would regret getting rid of them. But I also havent been able to display them recently like I would ideally want to, so I feel bad. Getting rid of them would also make me feel distanced from the community as well. :pout: Ive never been one to sell off things as it is, but the thought has crossed my mind and I just wondered if you guys have faced similar thoughts, and what you did. I think just talking about the subject would probably help!

      Thanks in advance! <3
       
    2. I had a $500 car repair that I could have made work while keeping my dolls, but like you're asking I felt more comfortable selling some to fund it rather than get uncomfortably low in my savings. I ended up only selling one, kept my favorites. I also sometimes plan which would go first should a higher bill arise. Generally I say bodies go first, keep heads since I have quite a few I don't think I'd ever find for sale again. Part of it as well was I'd been expecting a doll event, and wanted to stay prepared to order the doll I wanted.
       
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    3. I've never personally had the thought to sell all my dolls, but I have put some up for sale just because I didn't really want them anymore. I like keeping as much money saved as I can, because you'll never know when you might need it, so I don't hold on to the dolls (and other things) I have that I don't really like or need anymore. It's a different situation from yours, but I think the point is that if you still love your dolls and want to keep them, then go ahead and do so.

      I mean, financial situations are different for everyone, and if it's a choice between keeping your dolls and eating or paying rent then maybe you should let some go, but no one can make that decision but you. If it would really upset you to sell them and you don't absolutely need to, then keep them. If you really need some money, maybe sell the ones you don't like as much and keep one or two favorites. And most of all, don't buy anymore! You don't seem like you're planning to make any new purchases, so I probably don't have to say that, but you see a lot of people in more expensive hobbies like this that sometimes put their hobbies before necessary expenses, and that's baaaad.

      Bottom line, if you'd regret getting rid of them, then don't. Unless you absolutely need to. Which doesn't really help much, but...money is a complicated thing. Odds are though, if you sell them and regret it, you'll want to buy more, and that's more money spending, and it all keeps going in a gross money circle. It's probably better to keep the ones you love if you can and just not spend anymore money on dolls for a bit. :3nodding:
       
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    4. Yeah I get what you mean... I only have two currently. As one I had got stolen, and another a friend still has their hands on...so its especially rough. They were my grail dolls. And they are both very limited...I got really lucky finding one of them. So I know I would regret it, it would just be a matter of time. :sigh
      I've gotten past the hardest part where I was struggling with bills. A long story, filled with a series of unfortunate events that just didn't help the matter. So now I am on the right track, and not struggling to make ends meet anymore. I just... my husband and I haven't had any sort of release if that makes sense. We had to cancel our honeymoon, cancel our other vacation we had planned.
      I know its an after thought to most, but for me its always been a small trip here or there helps me keep my mental health in check. So that's mostly what I miss. I know I have a few things around the house we don't use, some that's new that we could sell. I may look into that. :)

      I'm glad I'm not alone in this kind of situation :whee: I don't feel quite so irrational in my thinking anymore. I think I just have to wait for things to continue to shift back into place. Like I said when I replied to KiyoshiSenshi I'm not struggling with making ends meet anymore, I'm just not ideally where I want to be and it's taking longer to get back on the right foot than I could have imagined! I will just have to wait a little longer! ;)
       
      #4 rainyday382, May 24, 2017
      Last edited by a moderator: May 24, 2017
    5. Financial recovery is always such a long journey. It's taken me nearly 20 years out of college to finally be able to afford some nice things, so I really empathize with you. My doll characters have really grown and though they're inanimate objects, they're still really important for me to keep around. I'll sell when the doll just doesn't fit with me anymore. But I'll take on a third job before I let my best dolls go. You can always dig up more money somewhere. But you usually can't repurchase the exact same doll. Once it's gone, its gone.
       
    6. I suffer from terrible low self worth which manifests itself as spend guilt. On top of that we don't have much money, I have three kids and my husband has been out of work since November which makes the guilt extra hard to stomach.

      However, I grew up with my mother being a financial advisor, so some of that rubbed off on me and how I manage money. We have five bank accounts.
      main account is where earnings from job and benefits and all that go into, it's also where all the outgoings for house, lifestyle and kids stuff comes out of.
      Once a month a small amount comes out of the main account and is siphoned off into two accounts. My personal one and husband's personal one. This is our "completely guilt free spending money" to buy frivolous non essential things like a new video game or a doll or whatever. It's "fun money" as it were.
      The other two accounts are long term savings. One is the "omg the oven broke, we need a replacement" account. The other is intended to be the "saving up for a deposit for an actual dang house" account but that one kinda relies on husband having a JOB and an income.
      Anyway,

      When he's actually employed the small amount we take per month as fun money doesn't leave any sort of dent in our finances, but it is money that has to be saved up if we want a large purchase (like a bjd). I need to save for 4 or 5 months in order to afford a doll and that's fine, it means I have to really really focus on saving.
      Any money I make selling my dolls and other bits and pieces also goes back into that account, it's my money that I earn selling things I bought with that money so it's this sort of recyling effect. I sell a few older dolls to fund a new purchase or whatever, but only because I WANT to, never because I NEED the money.

      We haven't hit a point yet where we have to stop the monthly stipend, but we will get there in a few months time if he doesn't get a job, and yes, I stress about it and yes, I do look at my dolls and wonder "hmm, could I sell these to keep us afloat" but at the end of hte day, the amount i'd make would only keep us afloat a month or so more and it would do serious damage to my mental health having to part with things I love just to make ends meet.
      I'd sooner find other ways, do some commission work, go try to find a low paying job doing something menial and so on.
      Because I know that 1: I'd regret selling. 2: i'd start to resent my husband for making me get to the situation I had to sell my beloved possessions and 3: I couldn't replace them because they're all uniquely MINE and i've invested so much of myself into them.
      I mean I own several ot dolls that are literally one of a kind, as in, there is no way they can ever ever ever be replaced. (a thought that terrifies me honestly)

      Generally, when money gets tight, I sell things I know I won't miss. accessories i've used once, outfits I bought on whim and never actually used much, wigs i'm just stashing for no real reason.

      I'm pretty realistic in my financial goals, though i'd sooner buy a doll than a new pair of shoes or a dress for myself lol. And because we're fairly frugal without being seriously coupon snipping penny pinchers, we do have a decent wad of savings propping us up. We should be okay IF we get the housing benefit we need, otherwise it's a £600 deficit per MONTH we're running at after everything and that's an awfully large amount of money to recoup. Even cancelling all our internet, our phones, it wouldn't even make a dent in that. So I see no point in denying ourselves things we need to keep ourselves from sinking into utter depression if it won't even stop the deficit. It'd be a different story if knocking our broadband down and stopping the "fun money" would actually put us in the black at the end of every month but it won't and our mental health is equally as important.
      Until such a point as we're literally facing homelessness, i'll do just about everything else possible to avoid having to sell the things that distract me from the financial situation.
       
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    7. At home we're very tight with money. Over spending on groceries usually guarantees not being able to pay a bill (or two) at the end of the next week.
      Sometimes I feel like selling some of my stuff (figures, dolls) would help, but then when I really think about it it wouldn't.
      Selling my stuff wouldn't solve the problem and they actually make me happy and give me something to work on/look forward to other than work and sleep.

      So even though the thought sometimes crosses my mind I would probably never sell. :P
       
    8. I have sold dolls for responsible things. Most recently, I sold a doll to put a bed in my spare room. To pay bills...it really depends. I have to consider a few things first, like is this a one time bill or will selling the doll pay a monthly bill, but next month I'll be right back in the same situation? If it's one time, and I have a doll I'm not too upset to part with, I'd probably do it. If it were a case of paying a medical bill for my dog, like if she were in a situation that called for immediate attention, I'd sell them all! If it's a regular recurring bill? Probably not. I'd rather keep my doll that sell it and end up in the same situation anyway. That, and there's no guarantee you'll sell the doll in time, and even if you do, you may have to sell it at a loss, then if you regret it and want to rebuy in the future? You'll likely pay even more money to get it back.
       
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    9. I've thought of selling some dolls before when I'm in a financial bind but the market sucks for sellers right now so by the time I sold the doll that situation would have passed.
       
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    10. I've never sold any dolls because of a financial pinch, but I have let go of other things not related to this hobby. Whenever you're feeling unstable, just remember that dolls are just objects. You may be sentimentally or emotionally invested in them, but getting your basics back together is always more important.

      Another thought that others have brought up: is selling the doll really going to help?
      That $300 might seem like a lot when you're in a tight spot, but unless it's a one-time kinda of deal (need new tires, broken laptop, etc) where you're basically trading the doll for another item, you might just be treating a symptom. If you're having trouble keeping up with debt, bills, or you're just cutting it too close each pay period, something else needs to be addressed.
       
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    11. sometimes I am thinking of selling one of my dolls, my tiny but every time I see her big eyes and sweet smile I just can't xD I just end up selling some of my stuffs (not doll related).
       
    12. We were in that spot. I had just started with the hobby, and I was working as a translator on-call. Meaning that I had not regular income at that time. We decided to buy a house, the general calculation of the bank was done. According to that, everything should have been okay money-wise. Sadly, the amount I got out of my "job" got less and less - less to do, so less money. I managed to keep us afloat for some time, as I sold the tack from my horse (even used, you still get some money from high-quality stuff). But as things go, one time all was sold, and we still had 4 years to go to pay off the house.
      I very seriously considered selling the 2 dolls I just bought for financial reasons. My husband just said "NO". He said this was of no use, and that we had to find another solution.

      At that point, even if I did not want to, I started looking for a regular part-time job. I found one literally at the very last minute before my car could not have passed the check-up it has to pass to be still allowed on our streets. It made a wreck out of me, and I put on 20 additional kilograms. Today, I do not like this at all, I am starting to feel the consequences of that weight.

      But I am so happy to have been able to keep my dolls (as you can see, they have even multiplied). We still are a bit tight, and hardly any trips are affordable, but we have leared to live with that. Next year our house will be paid off, and I can consider leaving that awful job.
       
    13. If you do have to sell them because it's the best decision for you, don't feel bad! It's okay to make wise decisions when you need to, and when things are going better you can often buy new dolls or versions of the ones it might turn out you miss having.
      You're still welcome here on the forum whatever you end up doing.
       
    14. Yeah. Its rough. Before this, I was wanting to go back to college and finish up because I am so close. But now, I don't really have the means to do that. I just hate the stress that comes along with the recovery part. Even though you know you are still going in the right direction sometimes it seems like there is no end in sight.

      I really like that idea and have been thinking about doing the same. I just kinda pushed the idea aside for now seeing as its really difficult to do when you are recovering from something that was out of your control. My husband is really great in that he has told me he doesn't want me to get rid of them. He knows that - just like you said - there are things that distract from it and that help. Its just hard sometimes for me to personally remember -- these things help me keep my sanity. Its hard to remember that certain things keep the anxiety and depression from worsening when they are often the thing that tries to persuade me to do it in the first place thinking 'it'll get better if..' I try to not be so hard on myself, but sometimes it gets rough.
      Having moved to another city last year also has its up's and down's. We are in the same state so not too far away from 'home', and it was a much needed move. The place was not good for our mental health either, and there were no good job opp's. Now we have good jobs, but it still feels like we haven't 'settled in'... and when things happen, it feels like we are more alone in terms of support and options.
      Thank you for sharing <3

      Thank you for your response!
      Its actually a really long story, but essentially we were nice to people we thought were friends and they took advantage. Then, left when we addressed it and it caused us to fall behind picking up the pieces. On top of that, I have an ex who decided to use my identity to get a bunch of credit cards, etc and commit fraud. Most of which has been taken care of, but some which is harder to address/places don't want to help and I am just at a loss for. In addition to those two things, my husband and I both got laid off a few months back when we were working contract work that we were told would be temp to hire. They let everyone go. All 40 people hired to be temp to hire. Luckily, we had tax return money to keep us (mostly) afloat until we found new work. And here we are. Just finishing the catch up process. We had to prioritize what got paid and what we could afford to be late when money was tight. Now we just have to continue to budget so that we can get things back to stable. Its just hard sometimes to keep focused on how far we have come, and that we are almost there.

      Im so sorry to hear you were in a similar situation, but happy to know I am not alone. And happier even more so that you are doing better - and were able to keep your dolls! My husband also has said "NO!" so I am really happy he said that in the first place. I know for a fact, not everyone I know (or even those I dated in the past) would have told me that. My family always raised me to keep those things that you work hard and save up for that mean a lot to you. But a few people I hung around with (and a few I dated even) in the past have been totally opposite. I sold some things because of my ex which I now regret. Then, it wasn't even for financials, but to make him happy, to make him stable (well, thats what I thought...) But it was a toxic situation in more ways than one, and I couldn't stand it. Especially when it became more and more about drugs and not bills. It was irresponsible, and manipulative. I saw that I was being used because I cared...he used that to his advantage.
      Now, I just feel I have to be patient. We are in a good spot now, just have to finish the catching up (which is what makes it seem harder than it is). Its just hard. We have been talking about renting a cheaper place, or what we should prioritize so we can have a bit more wiggle room.
      Thank you again for sharing <3

      Thank you :) It means a lot to me to hear that!
       
      #14 rainyday382, May 25, 2017
      Last edited by a moderator: May 26, 2017
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    15. I know what you mean. That was actually what started this thought process a few weeks ago. Before moving to a new city, I never had problems with shopping for food. We could always just go and grab what was wanted and be fine. But now, I feel like even that is budgeted so we don't miss a payment on something and fall more behind in our mind. I don't think I could sell either. They mean too much to me.
      Thank you for sharing!
       
    16. It's fantastic to hear that you guys are doing worlds better from such a terrible situation! I wish you the best of luck in greying everything back to a comfortable state. Remember, most dolls can be replaced if need be!