Taking your dolls out for the day, but not bringing attention to yourself?

Oh man... Dolls and public spaces. I’ve had people stop me to ask questions, or people wanting to hold them, but no one has ever been too bad about them. If I know I’m going to be at the front desk for most of the day, I’ll bring them to work to keep me company. (Which isn’t all that often, really. I am the daytime supervisor at a local hotel/restaurant/banquet hall and whatever explodes around the campus, I am responsible for correcting. Whether that happens to be an irate customer, or a gushing water main.) I won't leave them unattended though, so if I get the feeling things might be hectic, they stay home.


My boss had seen pictures of my crew and had asked about what goes into them, so I started bringing them around a little more often to show her. If she’s working with me, she’ll set whoever I brought up with her right behind the desk, casually just chillin’ by the phones like a good little receptionist. Patrons see them as conversation pieces. A couple times, we’ve been asked if they have some kind of special significance to the place with the dolls and the teapots (since the old couple who owns the hotel collect teapots and there are A METRIC TON of teapots all over the place in glass cases). My boss likes to tell them it’s because the owners never had children and so, she has to relive her child-rearing tea party fantasies... My boss? Yeah, she’s the owners’ daughter. (And kind of a troll lol)


I’ve taken them to the mall before. To the movies and coffee shop. People look or they try to strike up conversation about them, but that’s it. I don’t dress any differently. Or carry them any differently. I sit them down next to me, or on me, depends on where we are and what we’re up to. If I’m really worried about catching attention, or if I’m having a particularly bad anxiety day and can’t stand the thought of people looking at me for longer than necessary, I’ll leave them home. I act normal-ish, I guess? Some people have real doll fears, so I wouldn’t go approaching anyone with them. If they come to me, though, I’m happy to chat with them about my dolls.

 

Would you take your doll out with your for the day to do pedestrian things (mall, food shopping, restaurant, etc) without the purpose of meeting up with others from the doll community? I might take one of my smaller dolls or a light weight Dollfie Dream. Most of my dolls are larger, heavy chunky butts that are a pain to lug around, honestly!

Would you dress differently, or use a different method of carrying your doll than you would for meetups or conventions? No, I don't think so. But again I'd probably have a tiny with me that I could just tuck into my bag. I do have a huge doll case for taking the larger dolls to meet ups.

Would you try to minimize the fact that you had the doll with you, and only take it out for pictures or to try things on it, or would you carry or display it in a prominent way, regardless of whether or not you were 'playing' with it actively?
Ummm, neither? If I acted all furtive and shady I think that would draw even more attention, and I'm not going to shout & wave my doll around either. I'd just go about my business taking photos or whatever in a normal way.

If you would try to hide it, why bring it out in the first place? How much attention is too much? I wouldn't hide it, and I'm not sure people would care that much, honestly. The world does not revolve around me and my dolls, lol! I can handle a couple of funny looks.

If you wouldn't try to hide it, would you actively show it to others or wait for them to approach? How do you deal with negative reactions? Well I'm not going to walk up to random strangers and start talking dolls! If someone does approach and is politely interested I'll do the show & tell thing for them. That's happened a couple of times at public meets. And I really have never had anyone react negatively when I take any of my dolls or other toys out and about. Most people think they're cute

 

I've taken my dolls out in public because I've been traveling to events and meets. As always, the less weird you act about them, the less other people will notice or care about them and the less weird they'll feel.

I don't care what other people think about my dolls, however, they're also heavy and annoying to carry so I am not one for carting them around in public just for the heck of it. It's really not fun.

 

Would you take your doll out with your for the day to do pedestrian things (mall, food shopping, restaurant, etc) without the purpose of meeting up with others from the doll community? Yes I sure would. Have taken both my MNF's out with me to parks for photos and on busy trails.

Would you dress differently, or use a different method of carrying your doll than you would for meetups or conventions? Nope, while the dolls are in my truck they are in their bag for safety but when we get to our destination they come out and I hold them and leave the bag in my truck.

Would you try to minimize the fact that you had the doll with you, and only take it out for pictures or to try things on it, or would you carry or display it in a prominent way, regardless of whether or not you were 'playing' with it actively? I carry my dolls so people would and have seen them.

If you would try to hide it, why bring it out in the first place? How much attention is too much? Nope I would not try and hide it. I don't care what people think of me or my dolls.

If you wouldn't try to hide it, would you actively show it to others or wait for them to approach? How do you deal with negative reactions? No I don't just walk up to people and say here is my doll. I don't try to hide them either. I have gotten looks but no one has came up to me or anything. I have not had to deal with a negative reaction but I would take it as a grain of salt and either walk away or send them on their way!

 

For instance , when you go shopping , social gathering, or go for a walk, etc?
I really want to bring my doll with me to every place, yet most of my fd are scared of doll. I brought my doll to a social gathering once, and my fd was afraid of her and ask me to put my doll back into the bag. Since then i no longer bring my doll to other places except the doll meeting
Coz i am worried about being judge by others /scared them.


Not sure if there is any similar post in this forum, if there is then plz del mine.

 

No i don't. I do bring them out when i want to go take pictures of them or to doll stores or fabrics stores if i need to buy somthing for them but i don't carry them everywhere. Sadly that's a common reaction by non collectors. Maybe get a smaller doll 1/12 scale one for example? That way it wont be as noticeble, i know of some people that have dolls like that as their companion dolls.

Would you take your doll out with your for the day to do pedestrian things (mall, food shopping, restaurant, etc) without the purpose of meeting up with others from the doll community?
No

Would you dress differently, or use a different method of carrying your doll than you would for meetups or conventions?
Nope

Would you try to minimize the fact that you had the doll with you, and only take it out for pictures or to try things on it, or would you carry or display it in a prominent way, regardless of whether or not you were 'playing' with it actively?
No, i would carry her nicely if there's good enough weather if its too hot i'll keep her in my bed

If you wouldn't try to hide it, would you actively show it to others or wait for them to approach? How do you deal with negative reactions?
i would wait for them to approach me, i will ignore it.

 

You all are so brave. I'd be too afraid of them getting dirty or damaged. My dolls haven't even left my bedroom yet, and I've had BJDs for 4 years.

If I did take them out, it would only be to someplace less public, like the park, to take photos. Actually I've wanted to do that, but haven't had the opportunity.

I have to be honest, I think it's very weird to take your dolls out in public just to have them as a companion. I can easily see doing it to do a photo shoot or if you have a specific purpose such as giving a demonstration about dolls to a class or something, but to just have your dolls with you seems really weird to me.
I'm not judging anyone, it just seems very odd to me. I've never seen anyone carrying a doll with them in public except a small child.

 

with me it's that my camera is sooo crappy that i simply have to go out with my bjds whenever i want to take sime pics. tbh i think it's the eye contact-if you are keeping it as ppl are passing by, you are likely to draw their attention (both positive or negative). what often annoys me tho (thats when i can practice my patience lol) is folks with their cams od phones askin if they can take a pic... and im like: spend as much money and time and get yourself one bc i havent done so so that you could come and take a pic like it was a part of a landscape ;p obv i neved rly say it aloud. simple nope sorry always work tho ppl are surprised :/

 

I am also one of those collectors who is afraid of having an incident while taking a doll out, and therefore they have never really left my apartment walls. Many of my dolls are special to me and not easily replaceable, so I have no real desire to carry one around just because. However, if I were to take one out for a photoshoot, I would put it in one of my doll carrying cases and only take it out when I plan to take pictures. If you would be carrying it around in the open as a companion, it would likely draw quite a bit of attention because BJDs are unique and not something you see everyday.

 

I only have dolls out for meetups, events or photoshoots. Otherwise, I don't see the point as I don't want to damage them, and faceups and items can be lost or scratched. I will usually have my dolls in carriers until I need to take them out. Once they are out, I try to be cool with it--not disturb others, but will answer questions and be friendly.

I'm more introvert than extrovert, so attracting attention is never a great thing to me! On the other hand, if I need to by carrying a doll around for some reason, I'll just do it! I don't care about other people and what they think. Being older helps with that attitude!

I just walk quickly to get to where I need to go. If I have a doll in my arms, that's my business, not anyone else!!!

 

Would you take your doll out with your for the day to do pedestrian things (mall, food shopping, restaurant, etc) without the purpose of meeting up with others from the doll community?
Nuh uh. I carry enough stuff at any given time I'm outside as it is. If I need measurements I can always take a measuring tape with me. If anyone asks I can half lie an just say I'm taking measurements for a craft project.

Would you dress differently, or use a different method of carrying your doll than you would for meetups or conventions?
Nope.

Would you try to minimize the fact that you had the doll with you, and only take it out for pictures or to try things on it, or would you carry or display it in a prominent way, regardless of whether or not you were 'playing' with it actively?
Minimize.

If you would try to hide it, why bring it out in the first place? How much attention is too much?
Just because I want to do something doesn't mean I want uninvited input from others. I don't mind curiosity, but I don't need some stranger's judgement. It doesn't bother me, but that doesn't mean I want to deal with it either. If it's out in the open I'm not going to try and hide it, but if it's put away I'm not going to go broadcasting it.

If you wouldn't try to hide it, would you actively show it to others or wait for them to approach? How do you deal with negative reactions?

If people wanna know they'll come up and ask. If they don't they probably didn't want to know badly enough.
I don't bother tolerating the negativity. They're free to have an opinion just as I'm free to tell them where to shove it. I give as good as I get.

 

Yes, I usually take them class, specially if I am having a bad day. I don't take them to mall or food shopping, ​but I like to take them to the cinema when I go alone.
I dress normally for meetups so nope, I wouldn't dress different to carry them anywhere. I wouldn't dress different for almost anything, I like the way I am normally dressed up.
When I take them to the university I usually don't display them directly but only take them out for pics or to cuddle them between classes. Not because I do not like being asked about them, I am glad to let others know about my dolls.
I don't usually receive bad comments like: aren't you big to play with dolls? or so. In fact, I wouldn't even care if I would receive them because I do not let what others tell affect me about the way I am or what I do.

 

I don't usually have this problem because I don't flaunt my dolls in public. I don't try to photograph them everywhere I go and that's despite being a professional photographer who carries a little not point and shoot camera that can actually change lenses practically everywhere. Lately it's a Pentax QS1, which is basically it's almost like a mini DSLR. I nearly always have that or a M43 camera of some sort with me in my purse. The actual DSLR's are for business these days mostly. When I do leave the house with one it's in a padded yoga mat bag and those are common enough that no one even thinks twice about my carrying it. Sunlight isn't particularly great for dolls, particularly when it's as intensely strong as it is here. I live in the tropics. You can fry in 20 minutes yourself. So imagine what damage that could do to a BJD over time. My dolls get nowhere near the sun if I can help it...

 

Would you take your doll out with your for the day to do pedestrian things (mall, food shopping, restaurant, etc) without the purpose of meeting up with others from the doll community? Yup! I've done it before. Not food shopping or restaurants, but I've taken my dolls to all kinds of places. Bridges, parks, the Brooklyn Botanic Garden, stores, etc. One time, when my girlfriend and I had just gotten dolls that day and her grandfather needed to run errands, we took our dolls to Sears, and our first SD boys have been on the NYC subway! :p Over the last couple of years, my anxiety has gotten much worse, though, so I've been too afraid to take my dolls out. I'm hoping that getting a vinyl doll will help, since they aren't as fragile.

Would you dress differently, or use a different method of carrying your doll than you would for meetups or conventions? Probably not. I might streamline a little -- put my wallet in my camera bag or something, simply because juggling a doll and/or doll bag plus my DSLR camera bag plus my purse would be a pain.

Would you try to minimize the fact that you had the doll with you, and only take it out for pictures or to try things on it, or would you carry or display it in a prominent way, regardless of whether or not you were 'playing' with it actively? Depends on where I'm going and what I'm doing. If I'm taking pictures in the courtyard outside my building or the park across the street, I'd probably just carry my doll without a case. If I'm going any farther, I'd take them in a carry bag and take them out when I want to take pictures or sit them with me or something, depending on what I'm doing. When I met a friend for coffee, I sat my little Pipos Jr Pi Robin on the table and let him chill with us. :p I'm not going to go out of my way to draw attention to my dolls, but I'm not going to hide them, either (which is why it's been so hard for me to go out lately..).

If you wouldn't try to hide it, would you actively show it to others or wait for them to approach? How do you deal with negative reactions? I definitely wouldn't actively show my doll to anyone else, unless they showed interest. One time, I did bring my Souldoll Giselle to a college speech class because I'd done a pick-your-own-topic project on BJDs and my professor wanted to see one but unless someone asks to see my doll or something, I wouldn't go out of my way to show them off. As far as negative reactions, I try to ignore them.. if they're being loud or aggressive, I would probably just leave wherever I was. If they're just like "holy crap that girl has a DOLL!" or something I'd ignore it. If someone approached me and asked questions, I would politely answer them to the best of my ability.

 

I sometimes do take my BJDs to work, or out to restaurants or shopping. They also go to doll meets, and we went to Dollism last year in Buffalo. I have never gotten a negative reaction from anyone. I don't dress differently or anything. I am a normal looking middle aged woman in average American sort of clothes. (Well, except at SCA events, where I tend to wear green and purple brocade Rennaissance gowns. ) I tend to carry them in a duffel bag, which is handy and draws no attention. If anyone asks me about my dolls, I give them a brief spiel, smile and go on.

I did get a giggle at a doll show this spring, a few people asked to hold my Iplehouse EID Kamau, and I let them, but told them to use both hands. People who are used to other types of dolls never expect a 70cm doll to be as heavy as he is. Their hands sag way down when they take his weight , and they look so surprised. He is a HEAVY boy!
One guy liked him so much that he asked me to write down the sculpt, company and country of origin for him. I'll bet he has a BJD by now!

 

I don't have my first BJD yet, but I answered these for the when I get her, plus based on things I have done with my past dolls (taken them to the hobby store with me.)

Would you take your doll out with your for the day to do pedestrian things (mall, food shopping, restaurant, etc) without the purpose of meeting up with others from the doll community?
I would consider taking my doll to hobby stores if I was going to purchase something for her and wanted to see how it would look on her. I personally wouldn't take her anywhere else because I would be afraid she would get damaged or dirty. I am somewhat of a germophobe, so something gross getting on her or even putting her on a dirty surface (like a public table without sanitizing it first) would freak me out a little. I am the only person at my workplace that keeps a mega tub of disinfecting wipes and 40 oz. bottle of hand sanitizer on their desk.

Would you dress differently, or use a different method of carrying your doll than you would for meetups or conventions?
I wouldn't change my behavior or style when taking my doll out. I don't have other personas for myself or do any cosplay. I think it is completely fine and wonderful if people do dress up if they want to, but I have never done that.

Would you try to minimize the fact that you had the doll with you, and only take it out for pictures or to try things on it, or would you carry or display it in a prominent way, regardless of whether or not you were 'playing' with it actively?
I would keep her in a safe carrying case and only take her out when necessary. Not to hide her, but because I wouldn't want anything to happen to her and I wouldn't want people to start randomly groping her without permission.

If you would try to hide it, why bring it out in the first place? How much attention is too much?
I don't have any qualms about people knowing how much I love dolls. The purpose of keeping her in a case would be for her own safety and my comfort that she is safe. I would really only be taking her to hobby stores and maybe taking her out to test what swatches of fabric look like on her in order to buy her something or make her something in the future and it would benefit me to do that because I am a visual person. I wouldn't take her anywhere else really, not because of shame or embarrassment, but just because of germs and other things that kind of freak me out a little.

If you wouldn't try to hide it, would you actively show it to others or wait for them to approach? How do you deal with negative reactions?
I wouldn't actively show her to anyone, but would be glad to answer people's questions if they came up to me and asked about her. If someone were negative or rude to me I would be negative or rude back in the same way to give them a taste of their own medicine. If they were non-verbally rude, such as whispers or staring, I would ignore it. I only have problems with someone yelling at me or being verbally rude to me in which case I would fight back.