Telling Your Parents *For Younger Members*

Even though my dad is not very happy with it, my mom loves them. However, at first neither of my parents thought it was a good idea for me to collect BJDs but now they have grown used it haha Just a matter of time!!!

 

I just went and told them.

After a while, because i buy many anime/manga related things, as well as art supplies, the money spent on a doll is not a big deal anymore and it actually rather cheap, so they just went ahead and bought one for me. o3o

 

My parents both have expensive hobbies of their own, so I come by it honestly. I don't outright tell them in terms of dollar amounts, but at the same time I don't ask about theirs. We're all adults, so it's easier just to accept it, shrug, and move on.

But, I've also been out of the house for over fifteen years, so my parents are used to relating to me as another adult.

 

I actually rationalized it with everyone the same way:

I paid 1600$ to have my wisdom teeth out.
I have wanted this doll for 9 years.
This doll is NOT 1600$.
*orders doll*
"Dear family. I bought a doll. He is expensive. I am so happy. You be happy for me too. You will love him. Thanks. Steff."

...it pretty much worked.

...but then my grandparents are probably just happy that I didn't come home with more piercings (which are worse than tattoos for some reason in their eyes), or more tattoos. And my mom just doesn't ask how much he costs so I still haven't told her.

 

I was a bit afraid at first cause I thought my mom wouldn't understand and it took me like a month in California with <b>Liarino</b> until I finally told her. I was like kinda jealous of Liarino to be so open and tell her parents all about her doll and how they helped her get him. I was afraid cause my mom seems kinda strict and uptight but when I told her I opened up with the "I'm gonna make money off from him afterwards" bit and she thought it was a good idea. She was even willing to pitch in about a hundred but I had worked enough to get him.
Now she gave him a weird nickname like "Jet-ski" XD so I'm really glad I told her.
Just don't know how I'm gonna break it to her when I get my next doll XD

 

I'm not trying to get out of a long-winded lecture. I'm trying to get out of the 100th "spend your money better" long-winded lecture.

I think my mom'll be more understanding if this quarter I spend my money on school stuff (which I already have been) and food and my car, rather than a doll. I have the money for one right now *stares at the money* but I need it in case I need more photo paper (film class) or if I don't and can instead get my tires paid for.

A lot of you are saying you come right out and tell your parents- but I'm wondering (psychology dip) about how that'll effect your relationship with your parents? I'm already a reserved person, but my mom and I are open and understanding to each other- and she is concerned about my money spending habits (doesn't want me to make the same mistakes as her). So it's not like I'm wanting to brush off the fact that I know she cares...

I think I mean "tactful approach" by telling her in a way so as to not worry/upset or disrespect her genuine concerns.

 

I feel so sorry for all you people who have to go through this. I was already living on my own when I started collecting.

I would start by sitting down and telling my parent(s) that I have a hobby I really love and would like to share it with them. Then try to explain what these dolls are and the great aspects about them.

When or if your mother starts lecturing you, how about asking her if it isn't about time she started trusting you and supporting you making your own decisions?
It is important to be responsible but what is the meaning of living if you do not also pursue what makes you happy?
Good luck!

 

Veraca,

I think it depends a lot on where you get the money. If you get a part time job and are saving up for a doll, then I honestly don't think your parents should complain. It is your money. On the other hand, if your parents are giving you money for a specific purpose (i.e. books, tires for your car, classroom supplies, etc.), then I believe they would have a right to be angry at you for spending the money otherwise. I don't know how strict your parents are, but I've heard of some parents cutting off their college-aged kids for spending lots of money on frivolous things.

 

I'm 23, but I still live with my parents. So, I do have to deal with how to tell them why a new doll has suddenly materialized. They're actually pretty cool with it. Especially my mom. Her joke is that I don't drink or smoke or party, so I have to have some kind of vice to make up for it.

I do remember bringing home my second doll in a long black bag. That was a funny conversation...I jokingly told my mom that he was a trombone, figuring that she would realize that it was a doll. She didn't. I had to tell her, but she was fine. I still sometimes refer to that doll as a trombone.

 

I'm currently looking into getting my first doll (I'm pretty sure it's called a LUTS Bory. I can't quite remember..)

Anywho, I tried my hardest to convince my parents of all the artistic uses of the dolls, such as models, photography, anatomy teachings, and just for their sheer beauty.

Yet, they are not sold, I get the vibe that my parents find them creepy. I can't really blame them, though. I was creeped out at first myself :3

They also have a problem with the prices of the dolls as well. I tried to lean towards less expensive or pre-owned dolls, but, as my luck would have it, the one I fell in love with I will have to get brand new. I'm also considering ordering a full set, which probably won't help..

Come to think of it, my cosplay expenses and manga purchases probably are much, much more than one beautiful dolly~ Hence, I see no problem here! C:

 

As much as I'd love to give you inspiration, some advice, tips to tell... sometimes, you just can't do it.

My parents were never in a million years going to spend so much on a doll - a DOLL.

So I had to get down to the business of saving, and that's what I did. And still they don't like the idea.

 

I'm into anime and cosplay and things like that so my parents are pretty used to my odd interests XD I explained about how they can be used for photography models and how you can change their wigs and hair and faceup and mod them, ect. and they weren't too opposed to it.

However, I'm kinda worried about trying to explain about their anatomically correct-ness .___.? Does anyone have any advice for trying to get parents to understand that they aren't sexual..?

 

Like others have said, my parents agree with me that its my money and I can spend it as I please, but since I do not have a credit card or paypall account to pay for all my doll stuff, I must hastle them to order the things for me. Me asking always leads to the "why don't you get barbies?" talk. In my class we can get "positive call home cards" for doing our homework, so I always use those when I want a doll. So my way to get support is to suck up to them. Haha!

 

We're in a very very tight spot for money right now. My mother isn't happy that I'm getting my doll at all. When I told her she rolled her eyes and made a comment about how there are more important things for me to spend my money on so on and so forth.

But I'm in college, and my boyfriend paid for him, so there's not much she can do if I decide to do something. Hopefully she'll like him more when he gets here. (He's shipping next weeks. )

 

Well I am getting my masters in school and live with my mother...that being said she doesn't know I own six dolls as one I hide them on my room two I send them to my friends hosue as I am visually impaired so she can check them out make sure hteyu are good before giving htem to me. I haven't told her. I plan on it eventually but for right now I just buy them and don't tell her its easier and I lvoe them. Shrugs I guess I feel at my age she shouldn't dictate my hobbies but I live with her so that means I do need to be abit respectful of her right?

 

I like this ^ a lot - I hope my daughter when she's older has the same attitude. I honestly feel as a parent that you learn to tell the difference between your children 'impulsive likes' and thier 'dedicated - I've been thinking about this forever....'

Naturally there is concern with new and expensive - when you have a great dialogue with your parents pull your weight and ear your own money despite being housed by your parents - THAT is when you start to show a more mature attitude and negotiate the purchase of a doll even if it means the doll stays under your Ma and Pa's bed for 3 months while you pay THEM for it in $$$, actions, time etc....

 

my dad always buys lottery tickets, so to introduce them, i said "dad, if you win the lottery would you buy me this?" showing him the DoD Lahoo....... a near immediate response of no was almost shouted at me....
after a year and a half of ranting about them, my mom realized i was serious about them (im hard core ADD so if something doesnt stay in my head over a month, its gone for good) so she helped me buy my first doll for my Sixteenth birthday. we only use her credit card thoguh.... my dad doesnt really like the idea, but he teases me to let me know hes okay with it ^_^

 

I remember two years ago, my mother was outside having a cigarette and I sat down and (I'm really passive) and I told her that I wanted a doll. She was so confused and then I told her the price of the doll that I wanted and she was so stunned. I showed her some pictures and websites and she didn't understand at all why I liked them, she thought it was creepy. At least she didn't make fun of me though! I showed my mom and she was just stunned at how beautiful one of the dolls was.
I didn't get the doll but I managed with them buying a tinier doll. However, it's been about 2 years, and they won't let me get any more because they think it's just a phase.... a 2 year phase...
Other than near Christmas time and my birthday, we don't really talk about dolls and I don't bring her out of my room so she never has to see it.

 

My mom and I are both into a lot of art stuff, so when I told her that I'd mostly be using him as a drawing reference and something to help me learn to sew, she was supportive. She even helped me pay for his body! She likes him, but she thinks he needs a haircut. XD

Dad is mostly indifferent, I think, but he refers to him as a drawing model rather than a doll. But I don't mind, since it's mostly true in my case.

 

Well, when I wanted to get my first girl I already had some JP dolls, so they knew I was able to take care of expensive dolls. They were alittle spectical on her price, though, since BJD's are alot more expensive. They gave in pretty quick, though. xD