Telling Your Parents *For Younger Members*

I did not know that you get ss money from a parent dying. That's interesting. I'm sorry for your loss and I hope that your new dolly will help you through your time of need

 

LOL WAO YOU GUYS ARE YOUNG. So YOUNG. xDDD;;

But I guess in this day and age, you can con your parents without guilt. >w>;; Life is expensive kids. And seeing how you are thinking of ripping apart your bonds savings to buy a doll, I really suggest you figure out how hard it is to make money in the first place. IE..

Get a real job. Not a seasonal one. Learning to balance school, work, transportation, costs of the little things you want, being able to buy other things for yourself like clothing etc... You'll learn that numbers add up, REALLY FAST.

Youll never know how to manage your money if you start incurring irresponsible spending habits early on. Especially for a teenager, I am under the impression that you've not gone to university/college and had to buy textbooks or anything yet. My own books this year cost me 500 dollars. So you really have to think about your situation.

You must also realize that a doll is an endless hole that you pour money into xDDD. Of course we love it, but...Once you get a doll, you're going to want accessories, clothes, shoes, other dolls, etc.... Do you really have the sustainability and mastery of your own finances to do this without hassling your parents all the time? Are you okay with asking your parents for everything to fund your doll? Or if you choose to fund your doll stuff, will you have enough for everything else? Or are your parents going to be responsible for stuff like that? Are they okay with that? Are YOU okay with that?

xD Sure money is money, but there's a moral matter with spending that's involved too. So figure out where exactly you stand. Once you're responsible enough to explain to your parents all these details [AND STICK TO THEM] then xD I don't think you'll run into any trouble at all.

 

Seconding this.

While I don't know about the education system elsewhere (outside of Scotland that is), I will say that even with Scottish education being one of the best out there (in that you don't have to pay tuition fees if you're born in Scotland and you can get up to, I believe, £2000 maybe more worth of grant money a year without having to ever pay it back if you're family's income happens to be below a certain amount) .... I really wouldn't recommend delving into any type of savings without thoroughly thinking things through first.

Yes, your great-grandfather did say you could use the money left to you on whatever you wanted, but I think it would be much wiser to get a part time job, or do the odd chores for your mother (or father if you see him often) and earn some of the money towards the doll that way instead of just taking the full amount from the money that was left to you.

As Laelen said, it's not just the doll you need to pay for; once you get him, be prepared to shell out quite a lot of money on other doll-related things for him. Even cheap items like acrylic eyes can add up if you end up going through as many pairs as I did ~.~

But of course, in the end, it is your money and no one can tell you what to spend it on (or what not to do with it). So if your parents both agree to letting you use some of the savings to buy your dream doll, good for you ^^

By the way, have you tried asking your parents for money for your birthday and for Christmas? It might help towards funding your doll-hobby in the future.

 

My parents, fortunately, didn't have a problem with it. I told them they were expensive, and I told them why- because they're custom made, made of a material that's dust is toxic, have special stringing, and the one I wanted was nearly two feet tall, and that they were totally customizable- and I guess they realized it was worth the money. I was totally relieved; both my parents are very careful with money, and I thought they'd say I was throwing my money away (especially after all the horrible stories I've heard on here about parents not accepting their hobby ).

 

My mom is an artist and my dad grew up in a family with a mom who is an artist...and is married to my mom, so he's used to artsy hobbies and their related costs. I'm also really lucky in that even if they didn't totally understand that it's a creative outlet for me (as well as just something that makes me happy, I am a hands on doll person), they're supportive of pretty much anything I'm really devoted to and figure as long as I'm careful with my money, I can do whatever I want to do. I love my parents .

 

Well, I won't [all imho] use art as an excuse to get a doll. My art is my art. My dolls are my dolls, simply an outlet of expression. But I wouldn't smear the two together for the purpose of getting one. I know many people use this as a reason to get a doll, but I personally think that they really have nothing to do with each other, aside from being able to make a vision of yours tactile. But any artist could do just that with a pencil/pen/whatever medium what they choose.

No serious study of art should use these dolls as a model O__o. If you're serious about art go and take a life drawing lesson. 1 hour for ten dollars is infinitely more helpful than using a bjd for a model will EVER be. xD; I'd feel like I'd be taking advantage of my parents if I told them getting a doll was for art purposes, because they wouldn't know any better.

Just my two cents.

 

I simply dropped hints for awhile, enough for my Father to google bjds. He then he started asking ME about them. Then, finally, he asked "Which one do you want?" Surprise!
He's already put one on layaway for me, and has even begun making toys and weapons for her!
My stepmom thinks my dad and I are crazy, but she's okay with it because she wont have to buy me any Christmas or birthday presents, lol.

 

LOL Nagita *u*;;; You're very lucky.

 

Oh wow. Well, I know that you feel like you've already gotten a lot of replies and they were all pretty helpful, but I thought I'd throw in my two cents.

Like you, I don't have a BJD yet. My parents are pretty willing to let me buy stuff if I save up the money on my own. Even though the doll is expensive, your parents are not the ones who are actually paying for it, it is your money that you are using. It also seems to me like money isn't a worry in your household (not that I'm saying you're rich, just that you don't seem to think this doll with strain you financially), so I think mentioning that you are the one paying could help a little too.

I know that I'm definitely waiting until I figure stuff out for college before buying a BJD. But then again, money is a huge problem in my family and I can't currently rationalize spending $300 on the doll of my dreams. It's obviously different for you. I don't see why your father would object.

Just make sure to explain everything calmly. If you get worked up, he might see it as you being immature. That would make him less likely to want to let you spend your money.

 

sorry if some words come out weird--I'm on mobile
I totally don't agree with this at all. I see dolls as 3D art forms because, well, that's what they are. That's why I love them. I love the time people devote to them--how they make them asethetically pleasing. Personally I think dolls have a lot to do with my art, but yes, it's different for everyone.

And I would never pay to look at someone to draw a still life. I'm sure you can do this for free or have someone pay you for it.

I don't think I tricked by parents into buying me a doll for artistical reasons because they don't know any better. I feel that it was my parents support for whatever I was interested in that helped me become slthe artist I am today. I did use my first doll to reference faces, poses, and perspective--and in the long run, I do believe I learned a lot from these studies.

If anyone is interested, my deviantart page is iidxgirl.deviantart.com

I believe anything can inspire you... Yes, even dolls.

 

I can understand extremely well where you're coming from, rain_cloud. I am in a very similar spot - when a family member of mine died I was left $1,200 but I was only 5 at the time, so it was put in an account until I was 18. I am now 17 and will be 18 in less than two weeks, the doll I want is $700. I've been into BJDs for about a year and 4 months now, when I first got into the hobby I wanted to do as you want to do - ask my parents to sign the papers stating I could have the money early.

My dad agreed, my mom was unsure if it was a phase or not as I'd only been interested for about a month when I asked them. In the end, I talked with my dad alone, I talked with my mom alone, then my dad talked to my mom alone. Three months later (and even now later xD) I was still talking about dolls, friends in the hobby, showing them funny photostories, things I'd sewn for friends dolls and such.

Now, both parents are mostly agreed with me purchasing it and since I have waited so patiently and they see I am still so interested and still responsible with purchases they are okay with me spending my money on any "silly doll things" I like.

So in other words, how did I convince my parents?
1. I showed I would be responsible, that I wouldn't become obsessed and be "I have to have this, and this, and this, and this!" all the time.
2. I was mature/patient. I waited over a year and my parents greatly admire me for it. Once they said no, I could not have the money early I was alright with it, I could wait until I was old enough to get the money the way the court had intended.

Maybe that is the key for you as well? To actually wait until you are 16 to get the money, instead of trying to beg them into signing the papers now to get it?

In the end, I have to say I'm glad I waited. So many better things have happened since then - better bodies were made by the company I intend to buy from, the posability is better and the newer resin doesn't yellow as badly. There have been a few other dolls I've found that made me stop and think: "Do I really want this one or do I want this newer one?" having more time to think on that shows you how much you really want that doll if even with all the new releases you continue to strive for that single one.

Oh, and as an extra to the happy-ending of waiting so long...

Now, my parents are even planning to buy me a SECOND doll. I can buy the first myself with this money, and my mom and dad said they will buy me a second doll ($400) for Christmas as they feel kind of bad for having scoffed at my wanting the doll for so long. Now they see it isn't just a phase, it's a hobby and they feel bad about trashing something they now see is so important to me.

That's my story, I hope there is something in there which might be helpful to you. I wish you the best of luck!

 

Luckily, I didn't have to convince my parents. They were both a bit skeptical, but it's my money and I'm 21. I put things like food, bills, college first, since I no longer live at home and don't have a very steady job, but.. I do put some money to the side to save up for it.

I really just had to convince them that I actually wanted this and wouldn't grow out of the 'phase.' x-x

 

I live with my husband and have done for 2 years but i still sometimes have run things my mum lol I have to run what i buy with my husband but has the idea that if i can still still pay bills and insurance and stuff then it ok.
IMO I think you should actually save up the money rather use the money in your bond, Think of it this way, if you didnt have the money there how would you pay for the doll? And the longer you leave it in there, the more interest you gather too.
You could ask your dad that if you did some chores for him in exchange for pocket money then you can put it towards that
Hope that helps

 

If I were you, I wouldn't take anything out of saving bonds or inheritance; it just wouldn't feel right. I would feel like the money that someone left me (or the money that the government gives me/grant money/scholarships) should be used things higher up on the priority list. (On that note, I absolutely despise people who use government money to buy nonessential luxuries.)

I just bought an elfdoll Hazy...and the way I did this was I sold a bunch of stuff that I already had from previous gifts. My boyfriend, dad, grandma bought me Pullips for my occasions, so I just sold them and left the money in my paypal (my dolly/hobby fund). I also sold some clothes and whatnot. I make sure not to bleed into my bank account, and if I do, whenever I make a sale, I immediately transfer it from my paypal into my bank account.

My EFC is 0 because my parents were immigrants of the Vietnam war--chased away from their homeland to come to America to offer my brother and me the education they never had a chance to have. I get funds from the government along with a lot of grants and scholarships. They add sup to about $9000 a year after tuition. Now...I could buy many, many dolls with that. But it just would not feel right. American tax payers pretty much pay for my education in hopes that I will contribute to the society after having been more educated. Not to buy luxury items...so that's just more of my two cents.

 

That's a very mature statement to make. ^^ I didn't really ask very much for my first doll when I was 14. I just told my dad that I really like dolls, so he just bought me one...despite the financial woes we're been in for the last couple of years. And I wish, I really did, that he never bought me that doll because I just couldn't appreciate her as much as I would now at my age (20).

 

That's wonderful that you and your mother have such open communication. I think you're showing a very great deal of maturity with your decisions and I'm sure your parents see it too and will be very pleased. It seems you have your priorities in order and have found something to make you happy, there's nothing parents want for their children more than that!

I'm sorry you have to wait longer, but I'm very glad things are still working out good with you, your family and your hobby. Many times it seems the three don't mix, but I think you are the type to make it work. There are quite a number of users here who can't say the same.

 

Hehe...my parents don't mind because I'll be using my money to buy my first doll. I showed my mom pics of Pukipukis and she said they were cute...and she likes the doll I'm getting. So basically I didn't have to argue at all XD