Telling Your Parents *For Younger Members*

when i started collecting, i was already living on my own, so my Mom didn't mind at all. it only started bothering her when i was running out of money and couldn't really pay my bills but i don't do that anymore.

whats funny now, is that she has her own MNF Shiwoo, and i sold her my Wishel. she had borrowed my Wishel to make clothes for her, and she had her for a few months, and I didn't miss her. so i felt that she should go, and i needed the money as well. when i told my Mom that she was up for sale, she had told me that she really enjoyed her being there. so i told her that i'd sell the Wishel to her for much cheaper that what i was seller her for. so she bought her i was very happy.

 

xD Of course, I respect your difference in opinion. I don't mean that the only way to further any art practice is to do life drawing, but you'd be surprised at just how helpful 30 1-minute poses a day with a nude figure can be. Of course, there are other sources of reference available everywhere. >w< I just chose life drawing as an example because it's probably one of the most rewarding practices that are widely known by all.

I think perhaps you may have misunderstood me. I do accept dolls and their makers as works of art/artists respectfully, I just meant that I myself would never use the reason of art practice to obtain a doll, precisely for the reason you've stated; there are sources of reference everywhere, and anything can be inspirational. I choose not to use art as a reason because serious art practice would never HAVE to include purchasing a doll >u< I would rather reason that I simply like them/want one/ etc.. I hope you know what I mean, I know I can often be unclear. ;u;

Rain, I am sorry if I was one of those who misinterpreted, but I think imho most of my first post still stands true. Especially now because of your situation where work is not readily available close to you, I would think twice about spending such a sum on a doll, for future reference. [since you have now decided with your mother about your doll] I am no expert on your situation or your school systems xD [because I know mine's a real money grabber], but I wish you the best of luck in achieving your goal of getting your dream doll, hopefully nothing will intrude on your set timeline.

 

When I first started being interested in dolls - that was like in 2007, I was 17. I knew instinctively that my parents wouldn't allow me to get one, mostly due to concerns about the price-tag. So I didn't even ask. In fact, I actually forgot about the dolls for the most part. I had the websites bookmarked, but for much of 2008 I didn't really think about them.

Fast forward to this year - and lo and behold, I jumped back into being interested. I have no idea why, possibly it could be the knowledge that 19 is a world apart from 17 in terms of being responsible for your decisions. I STILL face family opposition. Not very much this time - I think my parents know I'm going to get a doll anyway, and they're taking the "outta sight and hearing, outta mind" kinda route. At least, my mother knows that whenever I squirrel away the leftovers from my pocket money (don't judge me here! They refuse to let me get a job, because I've just started university and they want me to focus on my studies. I commute to school from home, too) that it's going to go towards the doll.

I do actually have enough as I write this now, but I'm going to wait a few more weeks just to, how do you say, consolidate my feelings about it. Just making sure that I really do wanna love my doll. I'm sure I will, but I've waited so long, I think a couple more weeks should be nothing compared to it.

As someone mentioned here in this thread, if one of your parents has a hobby or interest that could well be linked to your doll, it might possibly be easier to convince them. For instance, my father is EXTREMELY into photography. He has a high-tech DSLR and spent like THOUSANDS of dollars just on the freakin' LENSE! So I simply pointed him to some of the photoshoots here (steering away from the nudity of course xD) and told him that this is what people do with their dolls, mostly, and not just dress and undress it like a barbie! And after that he saw my point. (It's not as easy to convince my mum to the idea, but then again it WILL stop my hints about getting a puppy. Rather have the puppy, but anyway...)

I'm kind of a money-hoarder, most tragically, I must admit; I usually save over half of my allowance, because I know there are things out there that I will want. I don't like to spend too much on food, because I'm not a picky eater and if it goes down my throat just fine, then that's enough for me. So in a sense I'm quite fortunate - that, and my school textbooks and coursepacks are relatively cheap.

I just decided that the sacrifices I made for my doll (I brought monster sandwiches to school for AGES) are worth it; as long as I know that I don't overspend on any part of my life, then it's fine. I won't be like my brother and blow $500 plus extra on food alone in a MONTH, that's just greedy and extravagant. I'd rather have the doll, which lasts longer, than a night out eating buttered crab that comes up to almost a hundred bucks!

 

I know how this feels. I don't have a credit card, so have to give the money to my mom to pay for the doll. She's really skeptical and goes on about how I'm suppose to be growing up and all. Then i throw it back at her that she wanted a porcelain doll when she was a girl (that was relly expensive), so why can't i have one? And i'm even working out how to make it much cheaper to buy than I had before. I'm finding new models that I like and are alot less so she's grudgingly starting to bend towards helping me. i think my wisdom tooth removal's also helping...

 

Ah yes, I understand now. I know what you mean. Yeah it was confusing at first, but now it's clear. Of course no one needs a doll for art, but it's all preference. xD

 

"Mom, look at this amazing doll! SayyesbeforeItellyoutheprice."

It's hard being a teenager and trying to afford this hobby since convincing your parents to spend hundreds of dollars on a doll is...difficult. I got honor roll to pay for my first boy, then again for the second. ^.^

My mom was surprisingly lenient and understanding about me wanting one, mostly because I'm a tomboy and the phrase "I want a doll" would never be in my vocabulary. They're really empathatic about it now that they see how happy they make me.

 

I'm glad that things seem to be working out for you with your parents rain_cloud! When you talk to your Dad you can always mention that BJDs are a much better thing to be spending your money on than some alternatives... You can also point out that all that money spent on a BJD means you will treasure your doll more than the frivolous small things you might buy otherwise.

I would second some of the other opinions stated here that waiting a while and trying to dip into your inheritance as little as possible/not at all is the way to go. Not only will you have your inheritance set aside for something else (like studying abroad for a semester in college or buying something that really reminds you of your Grandpa) but you'll be able to see and better appreciate the variety of dolls that are produced before you make your final decision.

 

I didn't have to. Lol. When I first found out about BJDs, I put it on my Christmas list.. But I knew I wasn't going to get one that way. So, I kinda held off on the whole BJD obsession.. And actually, kinda, lost interest. Because, I guess, I felt so discouraged about not getting one (was only like 16 at the time), and just pushed it aside. But every time I'd see one at a Con, I would just right back into it. Look up new companies, find more dolls. But again, after I graduated and got a job, I pushed it aside AGAIN! But when last Christmas came around. I got quite a bit of money, more then I'd think about getting (like $300). SO! Getting my pay check like a week later. I used up about $100 more to get the girl I've been obsessed with for a while. Didn't even ask my mum about it, just told her I was getting one. Lol. Of course she didn't agree with my purchase. But I've been wanting one FOREVER! My sister understood. One of them. And that was it. Since I don't live with my father, and isn't quite close with him. He still doesn't know. Lol. And I've had her for about 6 months. XDD
So.. I didn't have to convince them at all.. :'D

But I can understand how it can be so hard on others. Trying to get one. When I first getting interested in BJDs, if I kept at it. And actually had saved enough at such a young age, and needed my parents help to order it. I don't know if they would've even helped me order it. But I think, if you never give up on trying to get one. Or even if you lose interest and then become interested in them again, as I did. If you always have that love for any BJD, you'll eventually get one. Just have faith! 3333333

 

wellll, when I decided to buy my fist bjd I had already been browing diferent company's for the better part of 2 years, because I really wanted to be sure I got the right doll.

during that time I had been dropping hints to my parents about these new, quite expensive, customisible dolls I had my eye on. I bought my first boy at the age of 20 so I did not have the money fight so much since it was all my own money. but I do agree with all the others mentioning that starting to safe up, tying to get a job, putting together hollyday money are great ways to get the money for a first doll together.

also on a somewhat related worry subject (at least this was the battle I actually had to win instead of the money problem) is the ordering-waiting procedure.
Even when your parents do not mind the amount of money you are spending, they might still worry about things going wrong(like my father who distrusts any and all buying/selling/ordering over the internet as being unsafe) .

after all you are sending an impresive amount of money oversees, and after that (in a worse case senario, I've been just in this one) might find yourself in a long wait for your doll to arrive, normally about 2 months but if you have bad luck this can turn out to be 3, 5 or even 7 month wait (luckily thats only worse case).

But to put your parent at ease it might help to show them the company's site, contact information, Q&A boards, and the way the company copes if something does go wrong. this could help in reasuring your parents that the company is respectably and might sway them to a positive standpoint once all the money is ready to order

(sorry if my ranting went into a totally unrelated part of the buying problem, X it if its to no consequense its just meant to be helpfull )

 

Hmm,well i'm a teenager too and two weeeks before i ordered my first bjd.I must admit it wasn't easy to convince my parents to buy me a bjd in fact as i think about it, it took me a whole year to make them realise that i really like these dolls and make them think of that as a reward because i am very good student at school or they just want me to stop making my own dolls that look like bjds and end up in a box unfinished.So i think if you have parents like mine you should be very patient because sometimes they don't think about the money they're going to spend but they want their kids to start thinking different when they spend their money.Now imagine me to tell them that when i receive the doll i ordered i will buy a male bjd, i think that will take two years of psychological preparation!!!I wish you good luck!! n__n

 

I decided to talk not about money for a while.. and just show them how nice the dolls could be. First they liked the hair (soft.. long.. cute xD).. then they liked the clothes (in the beginning the doll was naked or just had an improvised handmade pyjama).. and now my gf started to give the dolls faceup and paint the hooves. If there is something that my mom really likes.. then it is realistic hooves on a doll (as it seems lol). She's drooling all the time and telling all her girlfriends how nice the dolls are.

If she dares to ask now how much the doll costs.. the beauty of the dolls will help us convincing her to buy another :P

 

Since im still a student and living with my parents,i need to ask their agreement of buying a BJD even though im buying it with my own money..
It was very hard to ask for their agreement,but since i make a promise with them that i will earn twice as the money as i pay for buying the BJD when i enter university,it seemed like i received their approval..

 

Meh........mine still give me a hard time. But probably only because I don't exactly have a huge money-making job and can't support myself yet. It wasn't so difficult as I'm quite good at saving money I've made very large purchases before (community college courses, my Wii, and this very laptop I'm typing on right now lol) My mother disliked the idea but my dad doesn't care as long as I give him the cash when the bill comes. lol. Though he did say, "I can't see spending that much on something like that". I replied, "You spent hundreds on those guitars you bought on ebay, right? They just sit on the wall!!"

Haha, he didn't know what to say after that!! ^_____^

I think my mother IS warming up slowly though. At first she got annoyed with my doll before his face-up. Because he really just looked like an object. But when I painted him so he actually looks like a person and showed him to her, she smiled and said I did a good job! And when I told her I went to a meet and took pics of lots of others' dolls, she said she'd like to see them. THERE ACTUALLY MIGHT BE HOPE YET!!

My personal opinion? I think it's hard for anyone to dislike something that is smiling at you. XD

 

Honestly, I bought my first doll myself without any real permission. I started to get in to the hobby through friends and found out one of them was selling a doll I liked, I bought it instantly. I took it home that day from a meetup and sort of surprised my mom with it XD She had seen them when my friend brought them over and such.

My mom's taken a long time to understand the hobby, but now tells people at work about them. She loves to see the new outfits I buy and will even stand in on a box opening. She tries to act like she doesn't care, but I think she has a bit of soft spot and knows how much they mean to me

Recently I did get my mom to help with one doll. I really hate asking for money for my own hobby and something that isn't necessity, but my mom said she'd help with my down payment of Beyla for my birthday, since she's a limited and I don't make much per week, I wouldn't be able to lump together the 25% down payment by myself

I think it's something you just have to get in to or see in person. I didn't like BJD much when I first saw them and thought they were too much money. But here I am with five after only a year in to the hobby, not counting ones I've sold. >< Just keep saving and working hard. Sell old clothes or throw a garage sale. Save up allowance. Ask to do chores around the house or ask if there's anything you can do to make money. This might show your parents just how dedicated you are and how much it will mean to you.

 

Didn't have to. My money, my life, my decission ^^ My mum keeps telling me to try and save my money or at least spend them on more useful stuff instead though.

 

My dad doesn't really care what I buy as long as I pay him back (I have to use his paypal). I still haven't told my mom I bought a doll. She can find out when he arrives. The first time I mentioned the dolls to my mom said automatically said no.

 

My mom pretty much gave up on trying to convince me otherwise after she saw one for herself (one of my friends brought hers over after she learned I was interested in them) and thought they were pretty cool, and she knew she'd never get me to change my mind on this anyways, so it's all cool with my mom now.

My dad, however, is a different story. It's not like he yells at me for wanting to spend my money on that, but he's skeptical about them. I think he feels like its not worth it to spend 400 dollars on a doll, even though he admits they were extremely realistic in comparison to the other dolls he's seen. So I'm still working on that. I have a feeling he's not going to budge unless I tell him I'll buy it second hand...which I'm not sure about yet, but still.

 

My parents don't really understand the dolls. And they don't care to, my mother espicially tends to see it for the most part as a waste of money (even thought I work 2 jobs and it's all my money I use to buy them) She has mellowed out a bit now because she sees how much effort i put into sewing for them and drawing/photographing them ect.

 

When I told my parent first they thought it was a lot of money for a doll, but when I told them more about them and showed them pictures my mom really likes them. She said I could buy them if I really really wanted them and not play with them for like a few months and then leave them just sitting there.