Telling Your Parents *For Younger Members*

Because I had to use my mom's credit card to order my first doll, I had to ask her. My arguments were basically the truth, they're resin and hand painted. They take a lot of work, and you have to pay up for it. She's pretty cool as long as I pay for it, she figured it's my money and I can do what I want with it. I know when I ordered Frederick(FeePle Riff) a little while ago she left the pay transaction up and my dad saw and threw a fit, and she simply told him it's my money and I can do as I please with it (well, within reason. She probably wouldn't use that excuse if I was buying drugs or something).

 

I'm sorry if my thread offended you or something, but I was simply seeking help and I don't appreciate that you decidd to reply when you had no help to give and just wanted to make me have an even worse day then I've already been having.

 

I think parents are more accepting of "dolls" when they see the creative side of the hobby. ie. sewing, face-painting, photography, etc. They will see it as more of a creative outlet, not just an "expensive doll".

 

My mom has never been enthusiastic about me spending a lot of money. (I have a couple expensive hobbies: I bought an $800 guitar, and also a $500 SLR camera both of which I saved for myself and bought with my own money)
But, she thinks those things are correct for my age, whereas she says dolls are not. As long as it's my own money she says she's fine with it, but she never fails to add a few comments like "I think you'll regret it" or "are you sure it's worth it?" etc. I know I'll get my first BJD eventually. =]

 

I don't qualify as "young" (I'm a grandma!) but I'd like to comment.

I don't know you or your parents and what your relationship with them is like, but I'd suggest that you go on saving your money and researching the topic as much as you can. Nothing shows lasting interest, perserverence, and determination quite like going to all the effort to save up for the doll yourself, without asking (at least initially) for assistance from your parents. I'm guessing at your age you don't have much of an income and saving can be difficult, but if you save any allowance (if you get one), and save money from any odd jobs (if you have babysitting jobs and such), then after some time, ask for money toward the doll any time a gift situation arises, your likelihood of receiving it will increase. The ability to work hard and save your money may just make them realize how important the doll is to you.

 

I just told my mom directly-.-||...she's pretty supportive since she's happy that I'm finally picking up a girly' hobby-.-||...I'm the youngest tomboy in my family ....so yea-___-" she sponsored me my dolls and some of their outfit as well...
but the best is still,by saving own money to get.
I love receiving gifts from parents,I would of course treasure my boys but ....Since it's so costly,I feel really different if I had it saved and bought by myself.I felt like I finally achieved something The bond is much stronger and definitely ,treasuring him or her even more.

 

I just simply started out with showing my Mom some pictures of the dolls. I told her that they're very expensive because of how they are made, and customized. So, she wasn't too terribly shocked when I told her the price of some of them. I also made it clear that I would be paying for the entire doll by myself and wouldn't be costing them any money at all.

I understand the being a little nervous to "break it to them" because of being younger and not having parents approve of something you really love can be extremely dissapointing. I'm 15 as well, and sometimes it was a bit discouraging not to get a 100% positive response from my Mom. I'm not sure your relationship with your parents at all but, I wish you luck with letting them know! I'm sure it will end out fine.

 

You just have to try not to whine or anything or else they definitely won't accept it. Just plan your 'arguments' (why do you want it? why are they so expensive? etc.) and present yourself in a mature manner and it should be okay. That's how it worked for me anyways.

 

Well, I already have a salary so my parents can't stop me if I want to buy anything myself. My mom is like "It's your money" and my dad is kicking up a fuss about it, but he does that for everything if he's not paying for it, but really, he doesn't try to to stop me. I guess he feels he has to try to make some objection being a dad and all. He's even objecting when I told him I want to get my own apartment.

But other than that, my mom is still cool about it.

 

I don't think my parents mind. It's my money and they're quite proud of me when I save up for something myself. I think I may go through some of my stuff and sell it to save up for my doll~

 

I had to ease my parents into the idea first. I wanted them to know exactly what a BJD is before going out and having them order one for me. I also am a teenager that never really asked for much, so kinda gotta explain why $330+ doll is of importance to me. xD Since my first BJD came my mother has been pretty open and curious about BJDs; she supports my hobby and has taken my two boys into the family as the new babies, sort of. xD

 

my parents both saw me purchase my doll online. they aren't too suprised. since i've asked for one for almost 3 years. they still look at me and disapprove when ever i spend money on stuff for him, even though he hasnt arrived yet. but they wont complain to badly. they'll grip saying "its a waste of money", but i smile just know that my bjd makes me happy.

 

Rather then the convincing thread: http://www.denofangels.com/forums/showthread.php?321770-How-did-you-convince-your-parents This is about a simple question, how do you even start telling your parents about your expensive doll hobby?

To put into perspective, I'm probably not the best person to be in this hobby. I'm a poor college student with no job.

But whenever I bring home anything that seems to take up space- like how my manga collection moved from its boxes to my shelf my mom stared at it going we have no space! And if she ever finds out I'm short on money or starts the topic of "where did it all go?" I have to excuse myself with gas, food, anime/manga, school books and supplies... The list goes on.

That said, she knows that I've spent my money on something expensive, and I'm pretty sure she knows it's doll-related. She saw a dollmore box, so she knows about it. I think she's just waiting for me to tell her and is planning her reaction. She doesn't even like me spending money on costumes for cosplay, or on the wigs.

So! To anyone with parents like this, who see that it's your money to play with and have the right to, but question what you spend it on... Where do you even begin the topic? Is there a cheat sheet to start the conversation, or just leave the doll out in plain sight on the kitchen table and when you hear the "WHAT THE HECK IS THIS?!" shout you come out to defend your position?

Yeah I've considered the above (leaving it on the table). But I've also considered a more tactful approach like an adult of 21 should. "Mom... I would like to tell you about a hobby I'm into that I'm not sure you'll approve of. No, it's not drugs." Or... something.

It's not so much to convince as to explain to people who love you, (who I get along with really well and love), and who want to make sure you're making the right choices. I'm not going for the gung-ho WOOT THAT'S AWSOME response. Rather than a very okay so why did....? You know, honest curiosity. Rather then a lecture about how my money should be spent on fixing a car as old as me >>

 

Haha. I remember when I first told my grandmother about BJDs. x.x
She'd always been a doll person, so she was up for getting one at first. But she's also that type of person who says stuff like "I'd rather donate this much money to poor people than buy a doll that'll just sit there". She said no after I showed her the price of my dream doll. ^^; It's been a few months now, and after explaining all the benefits of BJDs and reading really funny doll stories off of DoA, she's finally considering. But you're right. Explaining this hobby to your family is pretty tough. x.x

 

I'm in the same boat- just graduated college, no job, little money. But I've wanted a doll for a very long time, and I've finally settled on the doll I want to be my first- a Fantasy Doll Amber. Not too expensive, but arguably not something I should be spending money on right now. I argue with myself again and again, and I'm definitely not sure how to break the news to my parents- my dad will say its my money and I can spend it how I want as long as it doesn't bankrupt me, but my mom... She won't (and can't) forbid me from having a doll, or spending money on it, but without her acceptance, it would be... hard. I think probably the best way to tell her would be by saying that this is a valuable doll, and that I have several other (traditional) dolls that mean quite a bit to me, and that this special to me. She actually has an expensive doll of her own, and gave me a similar doll when I was little (and got mad when the clothing got damaged... hello? who give a Madam Alexander to a 4 year old and expects it to stay in pristine condition?) So while I expect her to understand the price a bit, I don't know if she will understand that this is a doll that is meant to be played with and changed around and customized... thats whats really makes me think twice about telling her- I don't want her thinking I'm too old to be playing with dolls. BJDs are largely an adult hobby, but I don't know if she will understand that.

 

Having to save up for BJD's is both a fun and stressful process. I first told my parents about these beautiful dolls and I didn't think twice of buying one. Then I thought of the possibilities of getting one and decided that I had to prioritize my purchases. Like my love of anime and manga, my parents think the dolls are very realistic looking and I hope to get one someday.All I know for sure is no matter how much I love BJD's they're very expensive and my parents wouldn't like me spending all my money on just one doll, but that won't stop me from getting one.

 

@ commonfish : You're right that parents can't really ban us from buying things if it's our money. But their lectures of "you shouldn't be spending your money on this right now" get long-winded sometimes.

I feel like I shouldn't have the BJD no matter how much I love them, because I know my mom's reaction won't be the ecstatic best. And I'm trying to think up a good way to tell her about them/explain my position.

 

My mom is like this actually, but since I'm an adult and no longer live at home she gets no say She used to complain and say things like "you should use that money for ____ instead of another doll" but I was kind of like "well this is a hobby and I enjoy it" and anyway my bills are paid, I have no debt, and I only buy 1 doll a year. After 5 years she's given up and realizes that the dolls are here to stay and I'm going to keep collecting. In fact now whenever I really need money and I consider selling one of my dolls she's the one who tells me "no, don't sell one!" because she knows how important they are to me.

 

I just did. It's my money, as long as I put nessesities first it's all good. And I can provide reasons as to the expenses.

 

Honestly, I don't see why you're trying to get out of listening to the long-winded lecture. I told my family openly, I listened to their lectures (not just my parents, but my brothers too), let them say all they wanted and didn't interrupt (this is important if you want to have a conversation and not an argument) or try and force my view on them. Then, once they'd said all they could think to say, it is my turn to speak and explain my side to them. You really can't expect people to respectfully listen to your views if you're not willing to listen to theirs, the world doesn't work that way.