The Age Gap

Couldn't agree more. I have a friend who entered high school two or three years early. She's very intelligent, and, do having kind of a rough childhood, relatively mature for her age in certain ways, as well as looking much older than she was. But even though our school had an open campus (students are allowed to go into town on breaks and at lunch to get food or just hang out), she was not allowed to take advantage of this, because her mother, who was the first person to push her intellectually, did not want her 12-year-old (actually, she may have been 11 at the time) wandering alone even in a small, mostly friendly town, especially one she wasn't terribly used to.

 

il be 15 by the time i get my first doll, ...

but the annoying thing is, if i ever want to go to a doll meet, My Mom will attend...not just because she dosent like me being on my own, But because she ALSO loves dolls..

ITS EMBARESSING D<

 

Don't think of it as embarrassing though. If you've been reading this thread you can see that the other people at the meets don't mind if your mom attends -- in fact they think it's wonderful, and would be much more distressed if you were there alone.

 

Indeed.

I think it's pretty cool that your mom's as interested in the dolls as you are... If you spend any time reading the threads in General Discussion, you'll see how many younger collectors run into trouble with their parents just not "getting" the doll thing or understanding the fascination we have with them. With your mom involved in the hobby herself you'll never have to deal with that. ^_^

 

Not to mention that if your mom's interested in dolls it suddenly makes it a LOT easier to sit there and point out the shinies you want for your birthday/Christmas/whatever. (I have no idea why more young collectors don't focus on the obvious upside of having a parent interested in the hobby. Presents, anyone? )

 

My god, I wish my mom understood this hobby. Slash she gets (and she even introduced me to it) but I put a doll in front of her and she's like huh? I had Spock's headcap off the other night cause I was adjusting his eyes and she came in and was creeped out. Said she was having flashes of Chucky.

So yeah, I would be jumping the walls if I were you that your mom likes these dolls. And think of it as a good bonding experience too. My life is so busy now-a-days that I don't get to spend as much time with my mother as I would like. Having your mom interested in the dolls gives you guys something to do together.

 

Ha Ha Ha. We have several younger members in the local group who have mother's who are also into dolls. It's actually really neat, but then it isn't my mom at the meets. Really though most of our local group is college age or older and I do think it might be harder for the few who are younger to connect if it weren't for having their mothers along to smooth the way. And as several other posters have pointed out, there are some benefits to having a parent who is also interested in your hobby. My mother wouldn't mind giving me dolls or doll items as gifts, but she has no idea how to shop for them. When I start talking her eyes kind of glaze over. She would never know to order a doll several months in advance to ensure it arrived on time. Lucky for me my husband loves the dolls too, so we give each other dolly gifts.

 

There's actually two sets of families in my local group. Seriously, the parents and kids collect dolls to some degree. Generally speaking the parents are more likely to sit and chat about dolls while the kids run off to take pictures. So even if your mom tags along I'm sure you can wander off to do your own thing.

 

I love older people!

I sound like a creeper....

No, I just mean, older people are cooler because they're more mature than the kids I know, and I'M more mature than the kids I know, and it's great to do something extremely childish with a bunch of adults who GET IT. I'm a little shy, of course, and I've only been to one meetup, but I plan on going to more soon. I was the youngest person there, but everybody thought I was older than I was. (At the time I was 13 and they thought I was 15) It's a little intimidating 'cause everybody's dolls look in general nicer, but they've been in the hobby longer, and it's encouraging to see where I can get my dolls to in a couple of years. Hopefully no one thinks to little of me when they realize how young I am... ^ ^;;

 

i suppose your right 8D

Shes just attracted to all the Beautifully, Pretty Female ones,... Shes a sucker for pretty pink haired ones in pink Ribbony dresses ... (Yup, your typical stereotypical girly girl mother) xD

but again i guess your right, My Dad didnt want me to have one, If it wasnt for my mom, i wouldnt be getting Mo DX

 

I'd love my mom to come to the meets with me! She has a Puki of her own I got her, and she has brought me many a doll for birthdays etc. I don't have a problem of talking to anyone of any age. In fact, like a lot of people here I find it easier sometimes to talk to people older than me.

 

I was actually thinking the same thing... (But I posted it anyway, since the first part of my reply was on topic. xD;; )

 

If your kids are as old as 15 or 16, most likely, they interact with older people on a regular basis - especially if they have a job. So, being around older people shouldn't feel so foreign.

I do get that having your kid go out to hang out with a bunch of older adults who played with dolls would probably make my head spin if I didn't know about the hobby. But the thing is, it's not going to be like your kid is a little fish in a big pond. Most hobbies cross all sorts of social boundaries - gender, age, race, sexual orientation. And most likely, there are young kids there, too.

I have nothing against older adults, but I would feel more at ease around people closer to my own age, which I think is pretty normal for lots of people. A lot of older people don't want to feel like the 'old lady' in the group, and I don't think someone in their early 20's wants to feel like they're the youngest of the group, either. And even though people of the 'BJD persuasion' may share that common interest, it doesn't mean they're going to identify with everything in the world.

So, as much as I'd understand the worry, parents have to understand that their kid probably has some instincts on how to carry themselves, and how to deal with a lot of things. And it doesn't mean that your child is going to these odd doll 'orgies' because some of the people in their hobby are older.

Is it so wrong to sit down with your kid and ask about the BJD culture? Parents these days don't ask questions, they just assume the worst of the worst without understanding. Maybe some of the technology isn't understood by our parents, or maybe the news makes life seem like all young people do is take drugs, have babies, and drink alcohol. For every "bad" kid, there's a good kid, too.

I mean, there is such a thing as common sense, and though I advocate being concerned and careful, it should be known that not everyone is out to get you and your family.

 

how would you feel to know that your kids are hanging out with much older people from the hobby to play with dolls?
My brother always had friends his age but also spent alot of time with people much older than him. I spent alot of time with his friends who have always been minimum 4-5 years older than me as well. I'd probably want to meet the people, maybe attend a meet-up, but as long as I know WHERE my kid will be, what they will be doing and have a point of contact I probably wouldn't be too worried. It depends on the child though, my parents gave me a signed cheque with the money part blank for a book fair once because they KNEW I wouldn't go over the amount they told me I could spend maximum. And I was only in grade 3 at the time.
And as a much younger doll owner, how do you feel when you meet much older people from the hobby?
I'm almost 23 so I'm not much younger, but even if I was... I've spent most of my life spending alot of time with older people. Most of my relatives are alot older than me, and I spend alot of time with my mother and her friends. In alot of ways I prefer it actually.

Was there ever something that bothered you about it?
Not at all. There are young people who are extremely mature and down to earth and there are older people who are extremely immature and ignorant. Age is less important to me vs these traits.

And what are the things that you like about it?
I find spending time with people of different ages gives you more perspective in life. It may also mean for younger people they have someone they can rely on when they need advice or simple things like perhaps a ride to or from a meet-up.

 

I might be reading peoples posts wrong, but I have a slightly different view on this. I would not let my child go to someones house I have never met, especially if they don't have kids, and it's a one on one thing (mind you, this is all hypothetical... I don't have kids.) Now, if they were to go to a meet with friends I know, I'd be cool with that. My kid would have to be with one or more people that I have met and trust, otherwise I'm going to the first few meets with them... There realy isn't a lot of things mentioned in casual discussion that I would care to keep my kids from knowing about. If they came home asking me about phrases involving Donkeys or Sanchez, it would be a completely different story.

 

I haven't been to any meets yet, but my friends tend to be anywhere from ~2yrs younger or older than I am. I don't have very many my own age. ^_^;

I would not let my young teen hang out with people I did not know very well. Even then, I wouldn't let them go to meets that weren't in nearby public places that I also knew well. Assuming I'm still in this once I have a child I'd be far more willing to let him/her host meets at our house.

 

I'm 16 myself, which seems to generally meet the cut off in this discussion and I do think I'm responsible and mature enough to go to a public meet without my parents--that being said I also have a car and driver's license, so I'm getting used to having that freedom and my parents are also getting more comfortable with me going out by myself. A year ago I would probably have felt much less comfortable about it, mainly because I was still pretty shy and uncomfortable around new people; I've grown a lot though in the past year and my parents have recognized that thankfully Also I've had various friends over the years that were varying ages-some several years older, some a bit younger, and I have two older brothers (21 and 24) whose friends I've hung out around before, so I have some experience with older people

..also personally I would feel uncomfortable going to a meet at someone's house or somewhere like that since I haven't actually met any fellow doll people in my area and wouldn't know anyone, and my parents probably wouldn't let me--at least until I had gotten to know some of the people and knew the person whose house it was

 

I thnk this all depends on the same ethics that go with making any other friend, there are sometimes just age barriers but that shouldn't stop a polite conversation here and there

 

Through other hobbies when I was younger, my mother got used to the idea of me being around people older than me, and it's how I met one of my dear friends on the forums here. I think my mom is content when I am at least with older people she knows well, like mel-mel-chan and her husband or my older cousin. Because of them I can go to meets and got into dolls in the first place.

Most of my friends in the doll community are at least college aged and older and frankly I get along with them better than people at my high school. I find the majority of people in the high school age range too judging and immature to be able to hold a decent conversation with, so going to these meets are usually pretty refreshing. There's even a couple people younger than me that go, and they are pretty mature for their age as well. I really enjoy having the friend base that spans from my age up past my own mother's age; you get to learn some pretty neat things that you wouldn't from those your own age in high school!