The Death of the First Doll Hype

I bought my first doll on a whim. I didn't have any other doll in mind and I really had no problems bonding with her. I'd only really known about the hobby a few months before hand. When she came, I was ecstatic! I had her for a couple of years before I decided that I had outgrown her and passed her along to someone that would love her like I once had. But I've had trouble with bonding too. I think my LittleFee Rolly was my sixth dollie purchase. I thought about it a lot (did a lot of research) and I still wasn't sure but I thought that I'd go ahead and get her and when she came I was pretty excited for the first few minutes. Then I kept looking at her face and I tried her in different wigs but I just didn't like her as much as I thought I did. Ultimately, she has stayed in her box and is going to a nice family soon. It really just depends. But if you go into the marketplace, a lot of dolls are being sold simply because the owner couldn't bond with them. That doesn't mean the doll is undesirable, it just means that this person's tastes lie elsewhere.

 

You sound like you are actually putting pressure on yourself to play with your doll and maybe you should just take your time to get to know her without setting any expectations. Don't feel guilty for not wanting to spend every moment with her. Try backing off and giving yourself a break and try again when the mood hits you. The good news is you can always sell and use the money to go towards a doll that may strike more of a chord with you. But, please give it a chance too...I generally take time to develop relationships with people and with my dolls. I've received some where I have really felt not that much for them only to turn around and find a blossoming relationship in the following days and weeks. My first girl, Saori, is a very quiet and shy, I don't want to be noticed too much kinda girl and tends to hide in amongst the others!. She doesn't like to be moved and she doesn't like to have her clothes changed too much. I bought her a funky outfit in bright purple and a little crocheted hat and she suddenly became so much more herself, or perhaps, I finally saw her for the first time. In any event, through all my blathering.. good luck and don't feel bad or guilty for those are negative emotions. Give yourself a break and make your decision on what you want to do after you have given it some time. The adrenaline high of ordering and waiting can often lead to let down so hang in there and see how it feels in a couple of months. That's my best advice to you!!! Take care

 

I've had dolls that I've adored instantly when they got home, and others that I didn't really bond with for six months or more. I bought my first doll about one month after I found out about this hobby -- I purchased an Obitsu Gretel boy because I was afraid that 1) everyone talked about how fragile resin is and I'm hard on my stuff, and 2) I couldn't justify the expense and went for something cheeper. He looked a lot like a Minifee Shiwoo, which I loved on sight, but I wanted to test the waters to start with. I actually really loved my first doll, and it wasn't until I made the move from vinyl to resin that I regretted not having gotten a Shiwoo to start with. Eventually I reshelled his character from an Obitsu to a Shiwoo, and I still love him.

But sometimes it's as simple as expectation and interest. I know I've had instances where I was looking forward to a doll for so long between ordering and shipping that by the time it arrived I was already a little burned out. I bought a small Bobobie on impulse at a con and it was six months before I had a name or personality for her. Just give it time; sometimes it doesn't click right away. And if after a while you still haven't "bonded," well, she can certainly go to a new home. A doll isn't like a tattoo.

 

Usually I’m head over heels for a doll as soon as I see them. However I recently got a doll that just wasn’t what I was expecting. His head was pretty small and he had a sort of pinhead syndrome with the body I had gotten for him which had never happened to me before. Also his sculpt (granted it was blank) wasn’t as ‘pretty’ as I was used to. He was almost immediately sent out for a faceup and I’m hoping that a little paint and possibly a new body is all he needs because it took me forever to find a sculpt to fit this character. I’m still a little bit disoriented by it, but you can’t fall in love with every doll immediately, however if you’re not willing to make the doll work, then it isn’t for you. I do heavily suggest handling a size you’re not used to before buying it. I was planning on getting a few MSDs, but I handled on at a meet-up and decided it wasn’t the size for me. It’s all about finding what you want in a doll, and sometimes that can be hit or miss since pictures only tell us so much.

 

Did/Does anyone else have this feeling? Yes I felt the same thing when I had my first doll, but it was right at the box opening that's when the hype dead at once, the general excitement last from the moment I had him ordered until then. He looked essentially different from any of the pictures I saw on web, I was sadden to have found out if you look at him a little side ways than the angle they took the picture (in which he's a lovely boy) he's kinda grotesque

Or, am I pretty much alone in this? I guess not,

If you did have this feeling, what did you do to help it disappear? unfortunatly I can not rekindle my affection for him, I had to gave him away

 

You are not alone. I did alot of research for months before finally deciding on a doll. Also, it helped to see other people's dolls and get a feel for the size. I loved tinies, but knew I wanted either a MSD or an SD...My first doll was a Soulkid Katie A and I still have her. I wouldn't trade her for anything, she is still lovely. i had acquired another bjd msd, a Goodreau, but sold her earlier this year. It was difficult but ok. I sold a couple of tinies that I had that I had not bonded with too tightly with, and it will happen. I would say step back from the doll and /or maybe make some clothes or buy some cute props for him/her ...that could get you interested. If not, you can always sell the doll and use the money towards one who you think yo uwill bond with.

 

I haven't bought a BJD yet, but I am terrified because of these reasons. I will have to sell a lot of other stuff to get this doll, so there is pressure to choose the right one, and also, to choose one that others may want if I have to sell it on! So many things to consider!!

 

Did/Does anyone else have this feeling? Or, am I pretty much alone in this? If you did have this feeling, what did you do to help it disappear?

*Raises hand* I get this feeling too. I love my first doll and everything, but I've found since that she just doesn't seem as special to me as she was when she first arrived. I still incorporate her into photostories and everything, but in terms of individual shoots I'm not really inspired by her. The main reason I'm keeping her right now is because my husband bought her for me, and he doesn't want me to sell her. I'm hoping that with time and a new face-up I'll enjoy her again.

 

I got my first doll in november I think, at first I really loved him so much, I still do, but recently I've been starting to get annoyed with him... I've kind of lost interest in such big dolls, and even male dolls too.
I've been thinking about getting a female body for him instead, but the boy version looks much better.
I really don't know if I should sell him or not.

 

I fell in love with BJDs after watching a korean horror movie about them. When i bought my first doll i was immediatly in love. It was like a dream come true. I was super happy and thought that it was a perfect match. After getting his clothes wig and eyes, i knew it was meant to be. A few weeks after, I completly shut down. I wouldnt touch him or look at him, just kept him under his blanket in his little room. I wanted another doll so badly. I bought that doll's clothes, and suddenly, i picked up my first doll and decided to make a photostory. I felt bad about getting that other doll (thinking my first one would be jealous). I somehow fell back into the idea of taking pictures and making stories. I fell back in love with him, and to this day, i love him very much.

 

i was the opposite, i did not really feel sure i had made the right decision when my first doll arrived and was nervous- 'what if i have to sell her? what will people think if i do?' etc~ now i absolutely cannot imagine feeling that way. my attachment to her continues to grow over the months and i really love her now.

i found this is the same with the other 2 dolls i now own. when i opened their boxes, i was unsure that i had received what i wanted.... but they have grown on me. a lot.

i guess it's kind of like meeting a stranger- only in movies do you meet a complete stranger and suddenly have this magical relationship with them, right? well, you can't have a relationship with a doll, but you can have 'feelings of attachment' for them that are similar to feelings of attachment to pets or humans. those take time to develop (though there is the existence of what we call 'love at first sight'...)

 

No it's never happened to me, my heart is set on all the dolls I bring home, I don't see the point in spending such money otherwise. It's a good idea to plan the doll first rather than just jump in with doll lust. The longer you wait the more you know it's the right one for you as your mind doesn't change.

 

Funny because I thought about this not too long ago and was wondering how to word what I was feeling right now.

After being in this hobby for whatever time frame I was in.. I think I'm going to conclude that yearning, planning and wanting the doll is more fun than it is to actually get the doll. It's like being stuck in a want/get paradox while exhausting resources that are not quite unlimited. Sometimes I wonder what I'm doing with the limited time I have. Yes, there are aspects of this hobby that's really fun (such as customizing c: ) but I just don't know what to do with the doll after I'm done with it. I suppose I could take more pictures.. but what then?

I don't know. Maybe I'm at the end of the road here and waffling while remembering the excitement when I first began the hobby. :/

I think I'm going to give it one more shot before I call quits and pursue other interests.

 

all the time I get super depressed over certain dolls of mine. I currently own 18, but over time I've owned over 40. Every.Single.One. was an impulse buy. I don't think I lusted for a doll constantly for longer than a few weeks.
The only case that is slightly different is my DOT ean. I loved her for a VERY long time, but I just admired her, never really thought I'd buy one since I had a bad experience with my DOI (I HATED the body) but then one popped up for a great price and I snatched her up. Absolutely love her to death now But I will not be surprised if I'm not enjoying her in another month. It's just the way I work, unfortunately.

My "dream doll", which, for me, is the doll that fit my favorite character. I'd found him after searching for about 4 months, but when I finally found Volks Heath, I bought one off the marketplace within a week or two. I've owned him a little over a year now and just yesterday I'd suffered a huge amount of distress when I went to go take photos and just had this gut feeling that he was hideous. Every last photo I took, I hated. I obsessed over the very inverted triangular face shape and could not get it out of my head. I've decided to dedicate a good amount of time to just working with him. Today I spent the entire evening working on the most detailed jeans I've ever made. The previous day I worked an equal amount of time working on a solo photoshoot, and though I didn't like the photos, I'm determined to not give up. I dropped a large amount of money on this doll, I was SO thrilled when I bought him, he was probably the most exciting doll opening I've ever had (even if he was just a head) I'm not going to give up on this doll easily.


So maybe that's a strategy you can take, just throw yourself into working on projects for your doll. Sewing, prop making, furniture making, character development, story writing, roleplaying - anything and everything you can find to do.

You aren't restricted to owning one doll, and this feeling of regret, at least for me, may never go away.
The longer you idealize on the idea of a perfect doll, the more critical you will become, and you may risk over criticizing the perfect doll for you.
So just step back and take a breather
The right dolls will find their way to you!
It took me 5 years to get the Ean, and it took me just as long to find Volks Heath in a sea of boy dolls. Things will come to you in time

 

I've had a doll hype for several years, buying a lot of dolls (I could afford it so no regrets) and I loved it.

5 years later I'm thinking "Hmmm... Maybe I shouldn't have bought so many dolls." I love my dolls and I'm attached to them. I bought them, because I liked them and I still like them, but now I'm second guessing my choices as I find it hard to find time to customise and play with so many dolls.
The OMGOMGOMG stage has definetly worn off and now that I have plenty of time to think, I've decided that I'm not going to let doubt be a downer. There is no one right way to enjoy the hobby and what is right for you may change as time passes by.
There is no shame in selling and buying several dolls to figure out what kind of doll is right for you.
There is no shame in selling a doll that was right, but no longer is.
There is no shame in not playing with your doll (often).
There is no shame in having doubts.
There is no shame in having few or a lot of doll clothes.
What is important is that you have fun.

 

Completely agree. Though Muisje makes a good point. Fun is the important thing. So, I don't think there is any shame in falling out of love with a doll either.

 

I'm a little bit the opposite of Jacobean. Although it is wise to take time to think about a doll purchase (it's a lot of money), the more time I take to think the more time I have to make the wrong decisions. I would rationalise my choices ("This doll comes with more extras than that one and I should get the most for my money.", "This doll would fit in better with my other dolls, while that one doesn't.", "With this doll I have better chances of selling it with little loss of money should I have to sell it, and I can't say the same for that doll.") and I risk buying a doll for reasons that are wrong for me. To me this is not a rational hobby, but a passional one. The only part I'm rational about is the financial part. If I can't afford it, I won't buy the doll.
Usually it works out just fine for me, but a few times it didn't and now someone else is happy with the dolls that didn't work for me.

 

I actually had the same problem with my first doll, and I was so unhappy with it that I actually thought I was completely done with the hobby. I got an Iplehouse JID as my first, also because I thought a bigger doll would be too big. I was going to make her clothes for her, but between ordering her and her arriving I had a major depressive episode, and by the time she got here I was so overwhelmed with trying not to fail what ended up being my last semester at college that I had no energy left over to do anything with her. I sold her and bought a fountain pen (my other hobby) and have never regretted it. Part of it too was that I picked an expensive doll because I had read those threads about settling for a cheaper one. I like the aesthetic of the Iplehouse dolls, but I didn't bother looking at any of the cheaper ones. This time I am getting a cheaper doll, not because I'm settling, but because she's one I really want (I instantly knew I wanted her when I saw her, I waffled on which JID to get before), and spending less will leave me money to buy accessories for her. I feel a lot better about this doll. The previous one had only a name and it took me forever to decide on it. I rolled my eyes at people whose doll's had characters. This one has a character, and I still feel silly about it, but knowing who she is is really helpful.

 

Fret not. It's possible that you either didn't bond or maybe a new face up and clothes might do the trick?
A lot of people over hype up the "first doll" thing and honestly, bonding is much more important. You're not alone in this. There's plenty of people in the forum (who I've seen countless times) asking what could they do because they're not bonding with their first doll.
The size may not be for you or perhaps the aesthetics just aren't as pleasing as you thought.
I would recommend trying out maybe other doll sizes or different persona's for your Kid Delf. It might help

 

You know - you don't HAVE to play with your doll or do a lot of things with them. I usually just got them sitting around in my room, changing their clothes occasionally and even when I go to a meet, I usually don't do much posing or take many photos. It's just not the kind of stuff I like to do. Do I like them? Heck, YEAH!!! I wouldn't part with a single one of my dolls! Did I do a lot of research before I bought one? Nope. Just chose the one I wanted most and got him. And he's still my favourite (OK, can't say that too loud our else, the others will get jealous ... ). Perfect right out of the box. Has the First Doll Hype worn off? Of course and it did so pretty fast, actually. But for me, the doll-hobby isn't about "OMG! New doll!!!!" or "hey, lemme do a gazillion things with my dolls!". It's about those moments where I get home and see those guys sitting there and smile. Or those when I turn from my computer to look at Luken and go "OMG, in this lighting, he really does look like a real person, doesn't he?" - that kind of stuff.