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The relationship's over: Who gets the dolls?

Feb 20, 2010

    1. I doubt there are too many people in this situation (mods, if this exists, I'm sorry- i did look), but I, for one, am in a (loving) relationship of three years now, and we both got into dolls together- a number of our dolls are joint investments, and we love them equally.

      If you were in a relationship with joint-custody dolls, and it went sour, what would you do?

      in my own case, we've discussed it offhandedly, and sort-of decided on donning armor and swords and fighting to the death over them.

      >> kidding. Though my girlfriend is offering to murder me and take my dolls 8D;;
    2. Hmm, tough one. Both me and my girlfriend got into dolls before we met each other, so we started out with not sharing dolls, and I suppose we still don't. I get how it can happen, but I think I would try to avoid it at all cost. Otherwise probably sell the dolls or split them equally? Provided you have an equal number of dolls, otherwise i would probably aim to get that XD
    3. XD selling works, to a degree... i could never, ever part with my Shiwoo boy ;3; which is actually her Shiwoo boy XDD but we're both his owners.

      D: gawd, I can see how this might get messy.... Technically, we'd have to get a lawyer to split everything. After two years, it's considered to be a civil union sort of deal.
    4. Ah... well actually, my boyfriend and I actually don't have any joint custody dolls. All of them are either his or mine. Probably because he's got more "collector" in him, he kind of like to keep them in their boxes a lot and not change their outfits, and I'm more of a giant kid who plays with them literally all the time and carts them around the house and sleeps with them and changes their outfits relatively frequently. So. Yeah. Mine are mine and his are his, for the sake of both of our sanity.

      Although I imagine if they were "joint custody", I'm guessing I'd get the majority of tinies at least. He doesn't like them as much.
    5. Oh geez, that sounds like a nasty situation on top of another! This is sort of why I avoid doing anything of the sort with my relationships or friendships; it would be something that would just breed a lot more poor feelings on an already stressful situation when the objects are just not massive enough to be worth that.

      If I were in that situation, I would probably feel unattached to the dolls, and if the other person wanted them, I would want back my contributions.
    6. Not an issues I have now, as 1: my hubby is currently NOT interested in dolls beyond being supportive of my love of them, and seeing what I'm doing with them at any given point. And 2: Neither of us particularly believes in divorce (kinda ironic given that both his, and my parents are divorced. heh) But hypothetically speaking? I'd fight to keep every one I love. Previous relationship there were a lot of joint objects...and a lot of MY objects that me ex kept. Never paid me the cash value of the joint stuff like we AGREED to so I could replace it, and claimed MY things went 'missing' and simply haven't been found in these last 5 years. NEVER letting THAT happen to me again!

      So...yeah...not likely to ever be an issue...but it if were I'd fight tooth and nail to keep those I was attached to as I did NOT like getting screwed over last time, and will NOT let it happen again.
    7. I quite agree with Leenah on this one - in cases involving something as expensive items such as these dolls, I think it's a good idea for lines to be clearly drawn no matter how close you are with a person. Kudos to those who are confident enough to do things like this, but I'd always want to avoid this sort of situation wherever possible just in case...

      The closest I've been to this situation is with a friend here on DoA with whom I share a character - we've built him up from the ground and contributed 50-50 to his creation, but it was her idea to bring him home as a doll, her decision on which sculpt tobring him home as, ditto with eyes and wig etc (though she asked for my opinion on all those things, she was the only one who spent money on him so the final decision has been with her all along) and though I love the character and have the same sort of "d'awww!" reaction when I see the doll of him as I have when I see any of my crew, he's her doll and I just get to enjoy him without spending any money at all. Lucky me ;)
    8. hmm..
      I don't think joint-custody dolls would work for me..
      I'm kinda greedy, so I want my dolls to be mine, and not someone elses, even if we wanted the same doll.. I can share, it's not like nobody can touch my dolls, but at least they're mine, if they weren't just mine I don't think I could bond with them as well as I do now.. :sweat:
    9. I'm too territorial for this to ever happen to me - seriously, I told my last boyfriend up front that if we ended up being long term, he could live in an apartment near me, or something, but that we would not live together because my space is my space, and I don't want to share it. (In fact, one of the factors that influenced my decision to break it off with him was that he was changing my spaces in subtle ways, to suit his tastes, but that I wasn't seeing any changes happening in the other direction - I was not having an influence on his spaces.)

      It's part of what makes me good at working in the security industry, actually. Being territorial really helps with that.
    10. Ah, I have seen this happen. the girl took ALL the dolls, even the ones that CLEARLY weren't her's. It was... interesting.
    11. Ordinary relationship: What is mine is mine.

      Marriage: What is mine is yours, what is yours is mine.

      Divorce: What is mine is mine.

      I guess that is how I view things, whether dolls or other possessions. Good job I never married then... :p

    12. This is why you don't buy things luxury items together. You buy what you want and I buy what I was want. It makes things less complicated, unless you're married. Because everything that comes into the home belongs to you both equally.
    13. This is not a situation I would be happy to be in full stop. I am eternally wary of buying items with other people, and certainly not as much money as a doll.

      If it did happen, however, I would always discuss upfront what should be done if the partnership should end. Ideally, it should be agreed before purchase who gets the item, and who buys out who's share in it. ;)
    14. If I somehow found someone who loved dolls too, I would probablly still keep 'my dolls' and 'their dolls' seperate. If we did really really want to 'share a doll' there would be none of that until it was clearly discussed and worked out about what would happen in the worst case scenario of splitting up. I'm not a gambler or risk taker, especially with my property. I'm very territorial as well, I can share, I might let you hold and play with my doll abit, but it's still MINE. Some things are fine to share but even with a relationship or marriage, suddenly all my personal belongings aren't going to be theirs too, just as theirs aren't mine. That's my personal view though.
    15. actually my husband well never fight for a doll he doesent care for my bjd's... he buys them for me and he told me once that he will never take them away... but about are actionfigures hmmmm..................
    16. That's the second best idea. The very, very, tippy top best idea is to give them all to me :)

      On a serious note, I think sitting down and splitting them fifty fifty by number or value (of the shared dolls, not personal ones) would be the best idea, dibbying up by which doll is who's favorite and such. Or, when all else fails, maybe selling them all and splitting the money fifty fifty. But that would suck all around and definitely be a last resort (for me, at least).

      That, or maybe they go to whoever invested more in each doll? For example, person A puts $150 into doll whereas person B puts in $350 to that doll (resin itself and face-up, not clothes) so person B gets it.
    17. It would certainly depend on how the relationship went sour, as far as I'm concerned. When my ex-boyfriend decided to end it, I gave him back every single thing he'd ever given me or left at my apartment. That night. Of course, none of it was a doll and all of it easily replaceable.

      As far as joint-custody dolls, my girlfriend and I are actually considering getting one/some, especially dolls we really like but are limited, like the Soom Sard, or very expensive dolls, like the Souldoll Centaur Chiron. If the relationship ever went sour, we'd have to mull over each doll we bought jointly and decide which of us should have him. It would probably go to whomever has his character, as the character would still belong to either me or her.

      We've never discussed this, and the closest we've gotten to discussing something like this is a humorous debate about how our characters would deal with it.
    18. I like your ideas, Nana :3

      Another point for me to bring up is, a lot of my dolls were gifts. I don't know how I feel about getting dolls as gifts, XD apart from being very happy and grateful. When I get them given to me, I don't immediately think of break-up potential 8D understandably. But at the bare bones of it, she paid for them for me, and gave them to me, but they're partly hers as well. We've also had one or two situations where she bought a damaged doll to fix up, then I fell in love with it and painted it myself, so she let me keep it. We're really close and familiar and I don't see a breakup any time soon, so this is entirely hypothetical, but I have to admit, these are situations I think even some lawyers would have to just say "sell em all and split the money" over.

      >: Now that I think about it, I've only paid for one doll all by myself... I don't have any money >3> well I do, but I use it to pay for shipping out thirty packs of clothes a week, food, bills and pets. She spoils meee <3
    19. Most of my girlfriend's and my dolls are our own, but we do have a couple that we bought jointly - our Sard being the first. @___@ If the worst happened, well.... he'd probably have to be joint-custody or something. *lol* We both love him too much to sell him off and split the money, and not really replaceable in any way, so he'd just have to spend one week here, one week there or something. XD

      We've been together 9 years and counting though, and it's not very likely that we'd break up. ^^;

      Presents - Well, those are presents once they're given, and that's who they belong to as far as I see it.
    20. @Mimiko- is that your Sard in your DP? *D* he's gorgeous! Who drew that?