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They get dirty doing meet-ups (About dolly respect)

Nov 5, 2007

    1. Im not overly fussed if they get dirty at meets (its gonna happen weather i like it or not), i'll give them a wipe with magic eraser when i get home. I have no quams about my dolls being handled by other collectors either as long as they ask first. I'll even let people who are interested in bjds and thinking of buying one handle my dolls. I do remind some people not to touch their face-ups tho. I object strongly to the random people that just suddenly start grabbing your doll all over (i hate that, my dolls arnt things they are people too).

      My first doll was only 3wks old when i took her to JapanX in London. I felt quite secure in leaving her at the Dollzone for a while so that i could wander around and see the rest of the exibits. I didnt stray too far tho as i was in awe of actually seeing other peoples bjds in person. I went to the MCM in london recently too and was quite happy to leave all 3 of my dolls on the table. The only one i was a little worried about leaving was my devil hana Katie (shes only 6 and tiny), she is the smallest i own and could quite easily missed. But i sat her in the middle of the table towards the back so that there was no way anyone would take her.

      Im a trusting person and all the people that ive met at the meets ive been to have been really nice and handled mine and other peoples dolls gently.

      In short if you dont want your dolls to get dirty or played with leave them at home.
       
    2. I've only been to one meet-up, and after that I decided never again. Frankly my friends at work that met my doll were more gentle and careful about handling my doll than the people at that meet-up. Not to mention everyone's dolls there were very dirty and some of them had faceups coming off... it was disconcerting to let people whose dolls looked like that hold mine. But if I was there I felt I didn't really have a choice but to play along.

      What upset me the most though was that they claimed it was a tradition at meet-ups to swap everyone's wigs around, and starting pulling wigs off and switching them about and shoving some wigs that were really dirty and in poor shape on my dolls' heads, while taking my wigs and not-so-carefully putting them on their dolls.

      Overall I found everyone there rather rude and childish and I can say that from now on I won't attend any more meet-ups because it was such a negative experience for me.
       
    3. Eeek. I hope you didn't have any of those wigs with the long sausage curls.

      I don't mind people lightly handling my dolls, but I am somewhat picky about people touching their faces... or posing them precariously. I don't leave them unattended, and I never would at a convention! It's good etiquette to ask before handling other people's dolls, I think... and to definitely ask before touching their faces. None of my dolls have expensive faceups, but I can only imagine how people who have expensive custom faceups must feel!

      When I read the title of the thread, I thought it was going to be able how some people go to meetups and automatically think it's okay to put other people's dolls in dirty poses with their own. It happened at one meetup I went to... and I felt all crawly afterwards. That made me want to wash the poor thing more than anything else! :sweat
       
    4. This doesn't seem much like a debate...?

      Though I have to comment on this:

      I really don't believe that you have to avoid meetups altogether just because you don't like someone dirtying your dolls. I've seen people who put signs on their dolls not allowing others to touch their dolls (during conventions) and it seems alright to me considering that it's their property in the first place. Seeing other companies' dolls does not include smudging their face-ups and putting dirty oily hands all over them.

      I don't expect to go to a dollmeet and come back with a dirtied doll. Sounds ridiculous to me. First of all, if the person is going to handle your doll with dirty hands, they're probably someone who will be less careful with your doll. Dirtying the face-up would be horrible (I did see someone touch the face of my doll before which made me nearly faint) but not unlikely. When they're less careful, even scratching or dropping the doll is likely. In the end, people might end up going home with a badly damaged doll (and I have heard horror stories) rather than just a dirty one if they're too careless with their dolls.

      To the OP, if you want to keep your doll in good condition during meet-ups, you probably shouldn't leave it alone somewhere. If you don't mind other people handling your doll, good. But don't leave it alone for the handling.
       
    5. I'm extreamly careful with anyone's dolls, wheather they be my own or someone else. I feel that you should give as much respect to the doll as you do to the owner. You don't just go around posing people, now do you? I know it's different, but you should ask permission before handeling another person's property.
       
    6. I very much agree with this. Asking before you pose, hold or touch a doll is definatly good manners.

      I think most of the dirt on my dolls was from the tables they were sitting on (being in white tights my littlest had a grubby bot). With my Ninde he gets dirty from being handled as hes nearly always naked so dirt on him i expect.
       
    7. We pass the dolls around at the meetups i go to and they just hold there waists and look and them. And get pics sometimes. The people are very considerate of others dolls and mine never get dirty ^its inside a bookstore.
       
    8. I do and I don't mind if my doll gets dirty at a doll meet up.

      I personally like people to touch and play with my doll. When the doll meet up is a couple of people (like four of less) I like to have people play with her, dress her up, and even change out her wigs. But most of the time these are other doll people. They ask first. They hands are generally clean.

      What I do mind is people that totally unaware that they dirty and handling something expensive and dear to me. I don't like to put my doll somewhere during a doll meet up or con unless I know everyone there. I hold my doll myself and people can come to me if they want to see my doll.

      Another thing I don't care for is went people that you mean at doll meetups and cons, see your doll and they inject their doll into their stories/lives. For example, "Oh they look so cute together! They should date. Look their holding hands." No! My character has a boyfriend. You messing with my whole plot line. And yes, if you're kidding I know you're kidding that fine. But my characters are important don't go marrying them off without my knowledge.
       
    9. At our local meets, I'm more likely to bring lots of dolls and know they will get handled. Most people still ask even though they know I'm flexible with it. I know many of the people and can watch how they treat their dolls.
      For things like Anime cons, I only bring 1-2 dolls that I can keep my hands (and eyes) on at all time. You get lots of newbie's who have no idea how heavy, special or expensive these dolls are and I prefer to be there when a total stranger handles one of my dolls.
      I also have a couple of rarer dolls or outfits that I keep a much closer eye on and am not as likely to leave laying around.
       
    10. At our monthly meetings we each talk about our dolls & pass them around the table. Everyone knows these are expensive toys & are gentle with them. However, I would never think about just picking up a doll otherwise without asking permission & would expect that from others as well. I've never had a doll get dirty there & feel that they're more likely to get dirty from my outdoor photo shoots than from being handled at meet-ups.
       
    11. While I do agree with the "be prepared for dirt at meetups" mindset, yes, I also agree with LKJ that nobody should EXPECT their dolls to get abused & begrimed at a meetup. The victim shouldn't get an 'I told you so' or 'it's your own fault'. Unless everyone in your area is as immature & rude as the group ArvanahModray describes, nobody is going to judge you badly, or call you antisocial, if you bring your doll to a meetup & then say "Don't Touch". Them being fellow dollpeople, they should understand. Li'l respect. If you can find a nicely-behaved group like what Gwydion describes, instead, that's the ticket.

      (Meetups can be such a great thing, Arvanah, so I hope you can maybe drive into the next county over & find a doll-group that's a little cleaner & better-behaved. ^^)


      This brings up an interesting tangent, you guys... Respect for other people's dolls doesn't stop at the dirt, does it? Do people at meetups actually take your doll & put it into poses/situations you don't like (dirty or otherwise)?

      Once in awhile, I must bite back my distaste when people put their girl dolls into my Yukinojo's lap at meetups, or drape them around him for pictures-- I dunno, probably a lot of them have never gotten to be so close to a beefcake doll before. It's not enough to actually offend me, per se, but it is distasteful; I just smile politely, try to be charitable for a photograph or two, & rescue poor Adrian as soon as the photo is done. (To be fair, most of these people DO ask me first, because his size makes him intimidating for them to touch. ^^) I can't say why it feels crawly, because it's innocent enough. But it's exactly as Armeleia describes, that icky someone's-been-playing-with-my-toys feeling. Does that happen a lot at meetups? Unwanted posing?

      And what about the "Character Buttinsky" syndrome that Noodles describes, does that happen a lot? I can't say that I've experienced it firsthand, but I have witnessed it-- it seems to be an overeager case of Playing Dollies, by force. Someone comes out of the blue & tries to work his/her storylines into yours. One might say, "Jeez, it's just a character, we're just playing. Lighten up." And one might reply, "A boundary is a boundary, and you shouldn't just go trampling other people's boundaries, even if it's just a character." So? Does it happen to a lot of you, and does it bother you?
       
    12. I've never seen anyone handle my dolls in a disrespectful manner...yea they might get dirty but I don't think it's a big deal since I can easily just wipe them clean. I mean most people aren't really thinking "oh I'm going to a doll meet I should sterilize." Yeah they are super expensive dolls but they are still DOLLS. I don't think that a little dirt should hinder people from getting to experience them and touch them. In all honesty I'm more worried about my dolls clothes staining than dirt from peoples hands.
       


    13. Ick. :ablah:

      I've been to a decent amount of meetups, and never had a real problem at any of them (Except for Mikel's flying lesson at my second meet.) It's too bad that you have such an...unusual group near you. The meets out here usually are fabulous, with 99% being considerate and using common sense. You should come out here. :lol:

      As for the condition of people's dolls, I've seen everything from immaculate to really grungy at meets, and with the grungy ones, I've noticed those tend to belong to the owners that seem to tote them around 24/7. I've seen a few that look grungy that really aren't, usually due to a faceup.

      As for the wig swap, that's just plain rude if they didn't ask you first. I've done it for fun at meets, but we always ask each other first. :sweat You definately have the right to restrict access to your dolls, even at meets. Going to a meet does not give the attendees carte blanche to manhandle every doll there.


      Hopefully your experience doesn't turn you off to meeting fellow doll owners, as the vast majority of us are great people. ;)


      ~Anrui
       
    14. I don't mind if my dolls get dirty (as long as its not their face!), because they're fairly easy to clean. I would mind if they got scratches though, that would be a problem. (Though if I were to bring my dolls to a meet, they probably wouldn't leave my sight anyways. xD)
       
    15. I do not mind if my girl gets smudges or whatever at a meet. I carry a magic eraser with me to all meets. I do not want anyone touching her face, though. I will let others touch her as long as I am around and that they do not touch her face.
       
    16. Thanks JennyNemesis and Anrui Ukimi. I may get up the courage to go to another dollmeet, but it will not be in this state. Vermont is small and I've more or less met all the people who have dolls here. The one girl who had a nice doll offset it by being insulting to me and lecturing me on how my doll was not dressed like a "true" elf (and actually he was but whatever).

      There's a possibility that I may be moving to California, and I'm sure I'll have the opportunity to meet a much more diversified and larger group of doll lovers there. Granted I don't own any Volks or have interest in the molds they make, so I probably won't make any of the LA events. :(
       
    17. bah, had a nice long response but the stupid server lag ate it...

      anyways it basically said that if its not mine, i make sure to treat it as carefully as possible, ask first, and make sure my hands are very clean (wash right before the meetup AFTER driving the car there)

      with mine, I expect them to get a little dirty, so I dont do things like dress them in white or bring a doll with an unsealed faceup (well I did once, but I was very careful)

      and if a few posed dolls fall, I ignore my own to catch the other peoples if I was the one doing the posing. (regardless, I try to catch them all, but mine definitely don't get priority...consequently one of them is now missing a finger....lol )

      and dirty situations:
      I try to keep myself from putting my dolls (and other peoples) into those situations.
      Usually if I feel the need for them to be flirty, I put them close to each other. If the other owner pushes things further, then I relax a little. When in doubt, ask them.
      But I have had other people put my dolls in uncomfortable positions at meetups and I'm never really sure how to handle it.
      The last time it happened the person was all amused and I was like "____ looks scared..maybe you shouldnt do that" and promptly moved the doll away. (names removed to protect the innocent and not-so innocent)
      If I ever do something like that, I hope people call me on it and let me know asap.
      At meetups though, I try not to do things (even with willing participants) that are past pg-13, out of respect for others who might be there for other reasons..aside from the oddly regular occurance of my boy getting naked (seriously, I just change his outfit. not my fault it happens!)
       
    18. There is tons of meets in Southern California that have nothing to do with Volks specifically. Everything from in parks, malls, restaurants, homes, even the Elfdoll store (which allows all dolls.) The only events that are Volks related are the Dolpas and Volks Parties. Depends on where you move to out here, if you do. :)

      ~Anrui
       
    19. Ooer.

      I have to say, I'm shocked at the number of people that think you must offer your dolls up to be handled by others at meets. "If you don't want people touching your doll, maybe you shouldn't go to meet ups?" Er, maybe if you don't want people touching your doll, people should be respectful of that? :sweat

      Not everyone wants their dolls handled, regardless of the situation. To imply that one is "anti-social" because of this is, to be honest, a little offensive. Sure, everyone should be prepared for a slight risk in taking a delicate item such as a BJD out in public, but no one should be expected to hand their doll over to (in some cases) complete strangers.
       
    20. That would definitely upset me. Well, we live and learn.

      I don't leave my dolls unattended and don't go to outside meet ups. I'm extremely careful of my dolls--they're very expensive and I can't replace them and well, they're simply my most favorite things.

      Frankly, I was shocked at the condition of some of the dolls I saw at the last meetup I went to. I decided I didn't really click with that group and am better off with the general doll collector club which welcomes BJD's but with a collector's respect and general attitude of do not touch.

      It's like all expensive stuff--don't let people near it if you don't want to risk damage. Nice things need to be taken care of to stay nice.

      Protect your children :)