They get dirty doing meet-ups (About dolly respect)

I would be very angry if my Marie was damaged, stained, or otherwise in less than original condition after a meet-up. I think when people allow others to handle their BJDs, you should immediately warn them to handle the dolls carefully unless you really don't care what happens to a doll. I know from personal experience that even with warnings the dolls can still get a bit messy (auntie with greasy fingers to my Marie's hair!!!!)

I think it helps when one already has a BJD, especially knowing the cost of one. One would naturally assume that some care in handling would occur, you know? When my aunt messed up my Marie's hair, she had no clue that the doll was WAY more than your typical Barbie doll. However, there are just some people out there that just don't care about other people's property. So I would say, if someone asks to handle your doll, look at the condition of the owner's doll and pass judgement from there. It's all about trust, right?

 

Reading some of these horror stories, I have to say I feel very lucky now!
Anyone who's handled my dolls has asked first - or had me offer because of the interest they were showing - not touched their faceup at all and held them by their waist or only where clothed.
I do have to say, though, that if I'm handling someone else's doll I'll treat them with even more care than my own group - I'm the kind of person who feels VERY guilty if I damage something that isn't mine, and if anything does happen I would feel the need to fix/ replace it personally.

 

This is exactly the reason I won't touch other people's dolls unless I know the owner specifically When I went to Fanime last year so many sweet people offered to let me hold their babies since I didn't have one of my own and I was very, very interested in looking at them, but I was so nervous that I'd somehow ruin it that I always declined. I think it'll be the same when and if I ever take my boys to a meet or convention or something. Unless I feel really trusting of another owner, I probably won't just let anyone hold or play with them. This is also added that by the time they are ready to go out in public, they'll have some pretty hefty mods done to them as well, and I'm not going to risk anything happening to that

 

I've become a convert; I'm far less inclined to let people touch my dolls anymore unless I KNOW they will be careful (i.e. my friends; they know I'll kill them if something happens to my kids XD). I had one girl at a meet grab my Demi and rub his face furiously with a thumb to "show" me how easily Testors Dullcote rubs off! *rage* I had no idea she'd do that, of course! My NaNuRi '06 was sueded at a meetup, and he came back to me with nicks in his legs and mysterious black smudges on his legs and arms. (Not to mention that he stands WORSE than he did before. ><)

I for one always try go out of my way to wash my hands before handling dolls, especially someone else's.

 

I don't mind, I offer mine up for handling, but we always ask and all. Mine are semi dirty due to handling by me, but they don't get toted everywhere.

 

Thanks for bringing this up JennyNemesis!

The unwanted posing has happened to me before, I don't remember the exact situations, but I do remember how much it bothered me. I think that people should ask before they pose your doll, or pose their doll touching yours, unless they know you're okay with it. It's quite uncomfortable to have a doll shoved randomly into yours's lap, or draped around them. I'm ashamed to say I did that once, and haven't done it since. KoMiyavi had let me see her Mini Fee Chiwoo, Cole, and I promptly went "Oh how cute and small! And sat him in Adrian's lap, who "jumped" backward and proceded to look quite alarmed, and even Cole looked disturbed. KoMiyavi and I laughed about it, but I felt very bad for the dolls, because I didn't consider their characters before I did what I did.

And on the subject of other people inventing stuff for your doll's character, now that's just rude. I feel lucky that that hasn't happened to me yet. I can understand if the person has never seen a BJD before, and doesn't know how much time we put into our doll's characters and backstories. But I think it's pretty rude for a fellow doll owner to do so unless they're teasing in an obvious way. I know that my kid's characters would feel very uncomfortable/angry if they were faced with a situation of that sort. I mean, it's okay to say that your doll likes another doll, but to invent affection from that other doll as well is just... mildly disturbing to me.

 

I think the point of those posts that say "expect a little dirt, or just don't bring them" isn't trying to tell people to shut up and let them get abused, but more to tell those that are paranoid about even the tiniest speck of dirt that dirt and sometimes accidents happen around a lot of people, and if it really is going to bother you if someone just asks to touch, maybe you shouldn't bring it.

However, it is rude to say don't bring your doll, because the purpose for the meet up is to have your doll seen and to see other dolls, isn't it? Not just to pose and play with dolls you've never met before.

I agree that people have dirty hands sometimes, but you guys make it sound like everyone's been eating Cheetos and Super-sauced BBQ platters, with supernova hot wings, and just changed their oil, have not washed their hands in weeks, and have grabby hands for your dolls. O_o;;

But, I see nothing wrong with a sign or button or something on your doll that says "look but don't touch" or "for display only".

On another note, everyone saying that they are carrying around small bottles of GermX and moist towelettes to make other people use, doesn't that strike anyone else besides me as kind of rude? It just strikes me as really bad manners to rawr at someone and try to make them wash their hands. It's just a little too sketch for me.

But then again, I'm one of those people that is uber careful around other people's belongings. I don't want anything to happen and have me blamed for it. So by the time I asked to touch someone's doll, my hands would already have been wiped down with my own towelette and germ X'ed twice. Either that or I'd wear cotton gloves >.>

So for someone to ask me to do it again, would just piss me off. x_x

I'm happy to let people touch and pose to some extent as long as they ask first, just as I would with anyone else's possessions. I was always taught to ask before touching.

As for that "injecting" their dolls into your storyline thing, that's just rude. So is the unwanted posing. You have a certain air about your doll's personality and character, and for your doll to be draped on by some random chick or have some thing placed into its lap kind of ruins that.

People should ask first. ><
Holy crap. . . long post of doom. @_@

 

I went to a convention with Virgil once. Everyone was very respectful, except for this one girl who kept trying to pull down his pants (which was kind of creepy) and then she ran her thumb over his face. So yeah, no more dolls at conventions for me. I think taking dolls to meets is fine though. Generally, people at meets know what not to do.

 

aww thats awful ;_; I hate when things i treasure get really really grimy. Its like the people who handled them had no care at all. I make sure i don't have greasy handcream or foods on my hands before i touch any of my dolls, i want to avoid making them lastingly dirty. I think i will invest in a super erasser just in case of meetups and only let responsible people i know handle my dollies. I've had people break alot of my special things in the past v_v and the weren't reparable.

 

I would have to say, that it would make me very very mad! But I can understand how it could happen. People who don't know much or anything about the BJD hobby don't know how to care for them, which means CLEAN HANDS!!!! I mean, they get dirtier way quicker then vinyl dolls and I think that's what most people are used to these days.

 

I don't have a doll myself. (yet) but I would be hever mad if my doll got really dirty at a meet up. Like if my got my own doll dirty.. okay. but like dirty from other people is not cool at all. If they are at a meet up they should know these dolls cost a good penny and that people really care about them and dont want to take a clean doll home dirty.
Haven't their moms told them to leave things as hey found it. you didnt fine dirty, don't make it dirty. That's rude.
I lonely handle my friends doll and that was because she knew i was planning on getting the same doll and she wanted to show me her new sunkissed volks boy (btw he was sooo cute)

 

I don't care if my kids get dirty. I think it gives them a more grungy, human feel. =^w^=

 

i think it was very trusting of you to allow people to have their dolls pose with yours when you were not around.

honestly i would never have the guts to do that.

whenever i touch someone elses doll i always ask permission and i always am so careful with them. when i move their limbs and such i am also careful and if ever hurt someone's doll i would feel terrible.

possibly the people did not realize they had gotten your boy dirty? doesn't make it right just like you said.

when i went to a meet up recently i held onto my doll for the first hour and half, and then when i sat her down i constantly keopt turning to look at her and make sure she was ok. it is scary thinking she will fall and...yea ok i won't finish that comment. to terrible to think about.

 

Good grief! Does this girl have porrage for brains? You just don't do that kind of thing to other people's property, be it doll or not! Dang, that's flat out vandalism! Hope she got barred from meets before she could put anyone else out money and time for a new face-up...

 

I can clean... dirt... off?

I don't care, really. I don't like people touching the faces of dolls I haven't done myself... but other than that... EH. It's just dirt.

I'd be more worried if someone dropped them.

 

I hope the scruff and dirt your boy got at the meet was nothing perminant and easy to remove. >_<

I don't know the exact curtesy rules in the West for doll meetups, but in Taiwan it's common knowledge to:
Never touch another owner's dolls without their permission, never touch the faces of dolls that don't belong to you *ever*, always be careful and gentle when playing with another's doll, and never handle other's dolls if your hands are dirty (their clothes might be limiteds, easily stained, etc). And lastly, the only time when the aboves doesn't apply is when the owners themselves say otherwise.
Most people are very good about it, though there are still some who behave rudely- but they usually get told to not act in the offending manners very quickly. ^_^

I'd say these are pretty basic and understandable un-spoken rules no?

ETA: Forgot to add, always ask permission before photographing and absolutely NO flashes are allowed. EVER. Owners get very paranoid about speeding up the yellowing of their dolls... ^^; Not that this stops me from photographing my own crew with blinding flashes indoor or at night. lol

 

I dunno...I mean I get irked if someone with obviously dirty hands tries to handle one of mine but normally I deal with it because I know I can clean them. Plus a few of mine just get dirty just because! Even their clothes leave some stains but it's all easily removed. But I do agree there should be a good amount of respect when handling anyone else's doll. And picking them up by the head?? That's just cruel ;-; People really need to stop that

 

At the London Expo I went to recently, I went to sort out my Chiwoo's wig to find a big black smudge on his cheek. To be honest I did freak a little as he had just been sitting on the edge of the table the whole time. I never touch other peoples dolls too much, especially their faces.

However, one of the people there had a magic sponge thing and cleaned him up for me ^^

 

it doesn't annoy me, because these dolls getting dirty is just part of the hobby. They need to be cleaned regularly. I agree that if someone had just eaten greasy foods, they'd better wash their hands, however, at most meet-ups, (unless at someone's home or restraunt) washing your hands before touching each doll really isn't always possible. Sometimes, it's quite a jog to the bathroom to go wash ur hands between different dolls and activities... I do however keep wipies with me, to at least try whenever i want to hold dollies that aren't mine.

I will also say that i remember one of the first meet-ups that i went to, and one girl was terribly paranoid of ANYONE touching her doll, and absolutely refused to let anyone touch her doll, but she had no problem picking up everyone else's. Personally, i LOVE letting people hold my dolls, as long as they are respectful, and try to be careful. If i see someone dropping dolls hard on the tables, or just dropping bags and stuff on top of their dolls, i'm most likely not going to let them hold mine. I think there's a difference in saying no to every single person who wants to see them, and just monitoring who it is you are allowing to hold them. Part of the fun at meet-ups is getting to hold and play with dolls that you originally couldn't get or didn't get. I just couldn't deny that of others. I'm glad when people hold my dolls It means they like them to some degree. Not only that, there would be alot of upset people, if i started refusing to let anyone hold Arachne, Aquido or Dresden. LOL They tend to be popular at meets. I will admit, though, that i'm absolutely TERRIFIED of holding people's tanned dolls, unless they are Yo-sd sized, or smaller. I'm just so scared of something scratching, or bruising them I would be heart-broken if i had damaged someone's tanned doll, and it couldn't be fixed.

I forget who, but someone not to long ago at a meet-up found that someone had broken her tanned doll's finger, and then just placed it back on the table or in his lap or something. That made me very sad I couldn't believe someone would be so careless, and not own up to what they had done.

 

ah... my boys gets dirty even if i wash my hands before playing with them and keep them clean. It's part of the hobby.

But as for the thing with meet ups. We're always in a coffee shop so we try to be as clean as possible with them i.e. two tables, one for coffee and one for dolls. I try to be as gentle and take as much care of each doll as possible and the others do the same in return. It's just about the people you meet.

I'm going to take Rae to my anime meetup on Tuesday and hope he serves as an ice-breaker (first meet) so i'm going to probably clothe him completely and warn people not to touch the face.

I personally wouldn't want to ruin anyone's stuff. If the dolls are mine i take care of them. If it's someone else's i make sure i take more care of them, clean hands nothing dirty to make them dirty.