Thoughts on heteronormativity and doll 'cross-dressing' / the gender spectrum

"binormative", I like that Actually I think I remember reading an article somewhere that confirms you to be spot-on with that view, Little Lost Pixie - everyone's got both tendencies to some extent.

I tend to not think about the gender topic at all, no idea why ... I guess it could be because I'm pretty fluid myself and grew up in a tolerant environment, so the so-called norm doesn't really matter to me. When I was a kid our neighbors had two kids my sis and I used to play with, a girl my age and a younger boy. He had more Barbies than all of us girls put together, and when we played dress-up, she'd grab the suits while he'd snatch the skirts and frilly things, preferrably all pink. It was the cutest thing. (And yes, he is gay, much to his father's chagrin ... and a ballet dancer too. His older sister became an actress. Go figure, eh?)

*jumps up and down and waves* If you find it, let me know! I'll contribute at some point, too, there hasn't been much by way of pics from me yet because I can't seem to get Katie's body right ... but there'll be something, I promise!


Regarding boy dolls in dresses ... I used to wonder why people didn't just get a girl doll to dress them up in frilly things (I'm not saying occasionally wearing a dress, but boy dolls styled girly by default) when I first learned about BJDs, too. I know a fair few trans* people (both mtf and ftm) and while real people need to undergo all kinds of trouble to adapt their outsides to their inside, it's simple with dolls; just plonk them on another body. But then I realized ...

Once I stopped seeing dolls as dress-up cabinet things, it started making sense ... so now I view a boy doll in dresses just like a human trans* person, which is to say, an individual like any other.

 

I have a theory that people are not 100% straight or 100% gay, but everyone lies somewhere on a spectrum. There are definitely people who fall closer to one end or the other, and then there are people like me who sit more or less in the middle. I feel that gender is also a spectrum, and again there are people on each end and others who are somewhere in the middle. I don't find it to be "strange" or "wrong" for dolls to exhibit that in higher concentrations simply because people have imaginations, and dolls are an art form where people can and should feel free to express whatever they feel the need to express. Whether that is latent homosexual tendencies when your parents shunned those kind of relationships, or just an idea for a "pretty" character that's been floating around in your head, it's your doll and your vision and it's not wrong or strange in any way. The only things I find disturbing about "yaoi/yuri" characters is if their story involves ongoing rape or molestation, and unfortunately there is quite a bit of that in certain parts of the anime community... most of it stemming from the younger crowd who doesn't have enough life experience to know what they are talking about. Go to an anime con with a friend, cosplaying as popular characters (especially male characters), and count how many times you're squealed at for homosexual fanservice.

I'm an androgenous bisexual female who crossdresses on a regular basis. My doll is a straight vampire who will eventually wear nothing but designer suits, although he is very old and has experienced and enjoyed many different relationships over his lifetime. His human wife (who is still on my wish list and will be for a while) is also straight and will probably wear all manner of dresses and ball gowns, although due to the time period and culture she lived in she also experienced different relationships. Their daughter (the next one on my list) is a curious teen who likes to experiment with anyone she likes and wears whatever she wants (usually frilly things, but not always), much to their chagrin. They're a fairly "normal" non-alternative family as far as sexuality is concerned. That isn't to say I won't have a LGBT doll later, I just don't have a character ready for one yet.

 

The idea that all yaoi fans are automatically loud, obnoxious, annoying and/or have no grasp of the difference between reality and fiction is insulting. Yes, these people do exist. However, they are a minority. Just as those in the doll community would be insulted at being labelled as creepy antisocial weirdos because we enjoy dolls, so too do those who enjoy yaoi find it insulting to be painted with one brush. The negative aspects of any hobby or interest exist but most do not display this. Young yaoi fans tend to be excited by something new to them and dive head first into it. As they remain in the fandom, at least from seeing myself and those younger than me go through this, they tend to mellow out as they mature and with the guidance of older fans. New and young fans in many hobbies are this way.

Going along with this, the idea that darker themes (such as rape, incest, etc) cannot be explored in the context of fiction is ridiculous. Dark and uncomfortable themes are part of literature, both LGBTQ+ and straight. Personally, I enjoy dark story lines in fiction because the happy peppy fluff romances are boring to me, but that's only a personal opinion. If people are not allowed to write and discuss these themes, even if it is in ways that people think is wrong, that stops a discussion on them from taking place. Even if the story in question seems to be somehow glorifying it, that still opens a discussion regarding why the character feels a certain way, why people find it wrong, and other such things. The stories open debate.

As for dolls, I like writing dark stories, and I wrote a lot of gruesome horror even before I discovered yaoi. Once I did, I began mixing the two and writing dark themes within the context of gay relationships. That is in no way to say that I think any sort of rape or abuse is correct. Never. However, fiction is the place to explore it, to take a lens to the disturbing because at the end of the day, they are fictional characters. No real person is being hurt.

As for cross dressing, I have one male doll who owns a dress and shares it with my girl. He simply sees clothes as something to go over one's body and not with a gender assigned to them. The girl enjoys traditionally feminine clothing but also tends to dress in a more androgynous style. Personally, I am a bisexual woman and find myself, on a daily basis, in gender neutral clothing, except on days when I put on lolita fashion which is distinctly feminine.

 

I do not cross dress my dolls at all, but I have no issue if others do this. We own these dolls to enjoy and be creative with them.