To those who left the hobby and then returned....

It was definitely a combo of a lot of things mentioned here already - at first it was just my job(s) intensified/changed so I had less time to spend on all my hobbies, then I lost several loved ones, became a full time caregiver, and of course money for 'fun' stuff had to be reallocated for absolute necessity stuff....and then, just as I was getting my feet under me & was thinking about getting back 'on the resin'....2020 happened. But I've always missed the community & held onto my dolls thru everything so I decided this year I'm back, one way or another

 

I used to be really into the hobby when I first got into it back 6-8 years ago, but that was when I could attend conventions and had a « dolly social circle »… but that kind of died down when I moved, and to be honest, I didn’t do much to find a new one.
I’m having a hard time getting back into it really, so Im at a stopping point; but I’m trying to get back into it right now, lol! Thats
Thats why I’m here on DoA.
I’m also going to sell some of my dolls that don’t « spark joy » anymore (mostly the non-unique why), so that I can fund the customization of those that are unique and that spark up my imagination and stuff!!
Im really happy at the prospect my dolls might have an owner that cares for them again and at the prospect of having my unfinished dolls with unique looks finished lol.
It’s also a matter of money and funding other hobbies though, not gonna lie. I’m kind of a broke student right now.. oop.

 

Ironically, what made me stop was growing up, getting a job and moving out. When I was on college working 2 jobs, living at home and having a scholarship cover my studies, I could easily drop $1000 on a new doll and all of its accessories without blinking. Moving out and understanding the real cost of everything made me balk at spending the kind of money I used to spend on doll stuff, so I ended up putting it all in storage... and then selling the dolls I had slowly away because it felt like a waste.

What made me come back was the realization I needed to get more hobbies back besides work and my second job (illustration) after I got injured. I needed something that wasn't super hard on my neck and hands that took up a lot of time... and dolls certainly did! I didn't come back quite the same way I left - I spend waaaayyyy less money now, preferring to buy little knick-knacks for my one doll over constantly cycling through dolls and expensive outfits, and I engage a lot more with the lovely photos people post of their own dolls and collections. But browsing all the prettiness has been a great and easy hobby for my poor scarred muscles and nerves.

 

Since I'm right now coming back to the community, I'll give my story. Sorry for the long post. I didn't realize how much my being away and coming back meant to me.

I got into BJDs in my early twenties, money has always been a stressor in my life. My parents scared me into saving everything and I denied myself the things I wanted which got me praise. But when I got into the hobby I kept my expectations realistic. I'll never be able to drop 1000 dollars on a doll. Because of that, I budgeted what was important for me. Finding dolls I loved that were versatile enough so I'ld never have to let them go.

During the height of being in the community, I had a local dolly group, went to anime conventions with the dolls, and even took them out in public. My dolls were my safety net when things were bad. They got me through my mother dying, gaining a wicked stepmother, and getting kicked out of my father's house. They were home.

But then my S.O and I got a roommate. She saw my dolls and said she wanted to start collecting. I was excited to have a fellow BJD person in the house. But then everything became about her. She wouldn't listen to my plans for my dolls and I would spend hours watching her go over the same three pictures of her first doll buy. Or she would tell me the brands I liked were too expensive and only entitled people could buy from them. When she bought the doll I gifted her a care package of BJD essentials, which she never used and didn't thank me for. Then, she looked for drama in the community. There is drama here, sure, but I like to stay out of it since I don't like being another voice screaming. She was pro-recast and I'm not. I couldn't debate her, couldn't negotiate with her. She was 'right' and the rest of the world was shaming her because she came from a poorer background (though she later bought dolls far more expensive than all of mine and all of them were legit brands. For all she talked about them, she never bought a recast, I feel like she wanted the drama so she could have attention).

Said roommate was a hoarder and my house became overrun with junk. There was no room for my dolls, so one day I picked them all up and put them in my closet. Once and a while I would walk into my closet and touch their boxes. As I said, these dolls got me through so much and her negativity tarnished how I felt about the hobby. I would think about how nice it would be to get them out and play with them, but each time I tried I looked at the rest of my house being a complete disaster and put them back where it was safe. Also being able to turn to the community wasn't possible, I couldn't go to my local groups because the roommate would want to go and she made everything about herself. She would cut me off from friends and claim them as her friends. And an online community? She would dunk on it loudly and tell me how horrible people were to her (she did this with all communities, a total red flag).

She moved out over a year ago. And last month I got the last of her crap out as well. She left a ton of stuff behind, so it was a physical effort. But there was one thing that happened before she left. I got an Off Topic doll (Smart Doll) that I adored. Having her sitting in my living room, she became a reminder, a guidepost to my other dolls. For how once during a hard time I would pull one of my boys off their shelf and hold them, I held her and remembered that I loved dolls. There was no judgment if I didn't play with my doll. She was there, and my BJDs were just feet away hidden in the back of my closet.

I can thank my S.O as well. He got me into BJDs (I know, he's amazing), and he loves my dolls. When I got the Off Topic doll he would ask me 'Hey, where are the others?', 'Are you still interested in your BJDs', and each time he'd as me a question two feelings welled up at the same time. Anger and guilt. Anger because I felt like I couldn't bring the others out yet. Guilt because I loved my other dolls. His gentle reminders have been a constant for years and he and the Off Topic doll were my stepping stones.

It happened slowly this week. My living room has been clear for a few months and there is a shelf that I thought would be perfect for my dolls. First I put my off-topic doll up there, but I realized she wasn't enough. I own four BJDs, and one by one I pulled them out of their hiding place and it hit me how much attention I put into all of them. Some of them have company face ups, others have my horrible face ups. Some of them were dressed in clothing I made, and others were dressed in expensive outfits I put on layaway. They aren't stunning photo-perfect dolls, but I adore them. Each of them. From my one Yosd whose feet broke during a hot day and I had to get her a different set from another company. To my last purchase who never got clothing of his own and was wearing hand-me-downs. I slowly posed them, looked at them, sat them around me and it hit me... I missed my dolls.

Yesterday I cleaned off the self fully and everyone is now sitting there together. I shared pictures with a close friend of mine who loves BJDs. Also yesterday for the first time in years, I knitted my newest boy a sweater, finally giving him a shirt of his own. I feel refreshed and I'm going to get back in touch with the community. I had so much fun in the past, and I never want to let this go.

TL;DR: A toxic roommate ruined the hobby for me, but a supportive husband and a landline got me back.

 

Okay well i guess i needed to cry into my coffee this morning. Welcome back.

 

Thanks, it's really good to be back.

 

It's a long story but I'll try to make it as short as I can. Starting in 2017 my life just went downhill to the point where I lost everything. Ill health was a huge part of it. I nearly died literally 3X between 2017 and 2020. But also a tropical storm cost me my house and my car. In the aftermath I had little by way of resources and I ended up selling most of my dolls just to fund another vehicle so I could take a job up here in NYC.

While I was on the road my very last BJD's and my Narae head ended up stolen with a lot of my other non BJD dolls. It pretty much broke my heart at the time because those were the ones I kept despite everything and they just went POOF in the time it took for me to hit the bathroom at a rest stop.

The job turned out to be a bogus situation and so did the next one I tried to do. I ended up literally broke and homeless and was literally living on the streets of NYC with my cat. It took several years and I would nearly die again, from a massive episode of blood clots, before it was over.

I'm now completely disabled and on disability. I use a couple of mobility devices to get around. I'm living in Manhattan in affordable housing and not exactly living large money-wise but I'm doing okay mostly. I do have a couple of mini resin BJDs and a very small collection of other dolls but nothing like what I once owned. A doll friend online sent me those or I admittedly probably would not be in the scene at this point at all.

One of the two dolls I lost was a hybrid Saint. I still miss him like mad but I'm currently paying off a LLT Roderich head. He's a doll I'm absolutely crazy about and the price was just right so he's going to be mine. He will be one of only two SD sized dolls I plan to own when it's all said and done. Space is a very limited thing for me in my new apartment and I wasn't really planning on owning any SD sized dolls but then I saw Roderich and I fell hard and I decided that I was going to have a couple of SD's after all but that it was going to be just two eventually.

One boy, one girl. Both will be hybrids most likely out of necessity as affording a whole SD sized doll at any given time would be very tough for me to afford. My goal is to buy two heads from dolls I really like and hybrid them onto way less expensive doll bodies. That's what I did before actually because it's just more cost effective for me on my limited budget.

Roderich will definitely be my boy. I haven't decided on a girl as yet but I had a Supia Rosy that I really loved and might go there again once I finish putting my boy together. It will just depend upon price and timing and probably a bit of dumb luck?

But since about 2017 I've gone from owning a 2 br mobile home and a car to being actually homeless, nearly dying several times and risen from the depths of homeless hell to living in a small studio in NYC on disability and fortunately stabilizing a bit health-wise. I will never get back what I lost in terms of former possessions but I'm okay with being here and living this new life. Honestly I'm just so grateful to be alive and housed that I don't have much time to mourn what was lost, except for my Saint, which I admittedly do just a tiny wee bit whenever I see one. :P

So basically LIFE torpedoed my BJD collecting for quite a while...

 

What made me stop? I was simply burned out and not enjoying the hobby anymore. I had hit a slump and although I loved the dolls I had I didn't find enjoyment with collecting. I was also in a pretty rough situation life wise and selling the dolls I had helped to mitigate some of the financial issues that I was facing as well as got me back on my feet. So it was necessary at the time. The hiatus I took allowed me to clear my head, dispel the burnout and get me reinterested in going back to something I used to love to do. I was also extremally young at the time when I started collecting. Which didn't help. I didn't know what to focus on and ended up getting quite a few dolls at the same time and that only added to the burnout I was experiencing. I also was from a small town and faced major criticism and judgement and rude comments which added to me wanting to leave.

On the flip side... what made me return? I returned because the burnout left and I was in (and still am) in a good place both mentally and financially to enjoy myself again. I missed having the collection and I also am older and can enjoy my dolls in a way that I wasn't able to do so before. Maturity is a funny thing. I can now enjoy my dolls sitting on a shelf and the aesthetic appeal of the sculpts. I also am more solid on what I want and what I don't want collection wise. I also know how to pace myself when getting back into the hobby and how to not just buy because it is available. I love the hobby more than ever now and that is a big deal for me.

So basically I went from being super young and just collecting to collect and have the dolls while facing major unnecessary criticism and rudeness in the town I was from, to enjoying the hobby and collecting what I really desire and enjoying the hobby in a way that I enjoy best and not caring what people think.

 

Many moons ago I ordered three dolls to start off my hobby. I failed to bond with two of them (they were both Mystic Kids and I bought them on sale, not because I truly wanted them). The third doll was a 1/3 Obitsu girl and while I loved her dearly, her face became moldy shortly after I did her faceup and no amount of paint would fix it. The smart thing to do would’ve been to throw her head away and keep her body, but I was so frustrated that I decided that I was done with dolls, period.

It’s been about a decade since then, and wow, the doll community has grown and blossomed into something truly amazing! I love scrolling through Instagram (and DoA of course) and seeing how passionate and creative people get with their customizations! I’m so happy that I got back into this hobby, and I can’t wait to start over fresh with new dolls! New year, new dolls, new me!

 

For me it was just too expensive. I took me 16 years to get to the point in life where I decided I have no other priorities. However it has the darker side to it. I was saving money for years to buy myself a flat, but after recent events in Europe, prices skyrocketed, and My saving are worthless... well at least they are too small to be thinking of such a purchase. Its like... when I was starting I could afford 2 sqm and after 8 years I can afford 2.5 sqm. So it will never happen, and even if it will there may be war or something and I will loose it. I decided it's time to change my dreams and go back to dolls.

 

I got into dolls initially in high school- which, like others have said, was just not financially feasible for me. I really loved the hobby, but entering college, becoming ill, and the subsequent journey lifting myself back up took all of my time (and a good chunk of my savings) and I sold my collection.

I got back into the hobby just recently when I started messing with painting and customs of smaller, cheaper dolls, and finding myself missing the poseability and fine sculpting. There really are no types of dolls that compare to BJDs for me- and so I began collecting again after years now that I have free time and disposable income.

When I was younger, I also tended to prioritize affordability/the best deal I could find over my love for sculpts- I've always loved Volks dolls, but as a teenager they were generally far out of my price range. I think, as a result, I ended up with a lot of dolls I didn't completely love and as a result never bonded with, aside from my sole Volks doll of that era, SDGr Creamy Mami (who I regret selling immensely despite the money helping me through a difficult time). Now that I'm collecting only sculpts I really feel connected to, I've found it's a lot more interesting to be a part of the hobby and I genuinely enjoy it more than I did when I was young, and I definitely feel a lot less out of place than I did back then.

 

Oh boy, it’s me. Discovered BJDs in my late teens, was very active here on DoA and went to every local dollmeet I could. Then I started moving practically nonstop for college and grad school, and over those years I just sort of slowly fell out of the hobby. After I settled down with my husband 3 years ago I finally dug my dolls out and sold them (well, my 3 MSDs. My Puki Puki lives at my mom’s house because she always loved the lil thing, lol). I hope they found good homes, but I don’t regret it. I hadn’t looked at them in years, I needed the money—unemployed in the middle of the pandemic—and now that I’m dipping my toes in again, I’m ok with starting from scratch with a clearer idea of what I like.

I’m 29 now and an actual adult with space, money, and time for hobbies. So that’s nice. I’m glad to see DoA is still around and I’m really enjoying seeing what’s changed and what’s stayed the same!

 

I started when I was a freshman in high school, and at the time bought a yosd because I wanted a bjd and it was all I could afford. I quickly found out I didn't have all that much money to be spending on clothes and things for my doll as a teenager, and really wanted a larger doll but couldn't afford any of the ones I liked.

Recently, as an adult with a job, I was finally able to order an msd sized doll I really like (still waiting), rework my older doll into something I like more as my art skills improved and have fun buying cute things as I prepare for my next doll to come. And find this account again.

 

Well, it was a couple of things. I cycle through hobbies, so it's not uncommon for me to lose interest in something and pick it back up years later. It was partially simply losing interest in the hobby and partly the local doll community I found weirdly touchy, drama prone and unfriendly. I started getting into makeup and the community was very welcoming, friendly and with a wry sense of humor that the overly serious doll community lacked. There was no sense of "I enjoy this hobby the RIGHT way and you are doing this hobby wrong because you don't do this thing" that is still prevalent in the doll community. No one cared if you used your makeup or just liked collecting it, they were just happy that you also liked makeup. (Note that this was the makeup community, NOT the makeup influencer/Youtube personality community, which is notoriously toxic.) So a combo of being less passionate about the hobby and the general unpleasantness of the community meant I simply left to other interests.

Now, over 15 years later, I was redoing my apartment and put up some display spaces that I needed to fill. And well, why not put my dolls out again? Just because I was no longer part of the community didn't mean the dolls weren't still beautiful. And then I found that I wanted to take pictures of them again, get them new clothes and solidify their characters. I got back into the hobby and the community. I'm still avoiding the local doll community and being choosier about what I buy, which I hope will help maintain my interest for longer this time. I still fully expect to cycle back out again, but then, I know I'll probably return eventually.

 

I discovered them when I was 14, c. 2007. That was really not a point in my life when I could drop $500 on a doll, and I only wanted a Luts Dark Elf Soo, so...I gave it all up for a while. Got my first BJD in college, a ResinSoul, but then got more into antique dolls and had her as my only one for several more years. Then once I was out of college and making money consistently for the first time, I became a bit of a revolving door of BJD vs. antique doll focus cycles- I've bought and sold six BJDs since then, never with more than 3 at a time. So I'd say I'm in and out, but having at least one I finally don't think I'll ever get rid of (since she survived a house fire with me) is keeping me more consistently in the hobby than I was for my first 15-ish years of interest.