Too young for the hobby?

Well, I'm fifteen and I've had my BJD's for over a year now. I must say I agree with everybody else, it's not so much the age, but maturity and experience. Since I was about eight or nine I have collected manga dolls with my dad, they can be very fiddly, expensive and they need a lot of care, so I was taught about this sort of thing from a younger age and know about caring and saving for my passions. I do however know a couple of people who have seen my BJD's and asked the same questions. One of my friends in fact said that she was going to buy one.
Now this friend in particular isn't very delicate with the other toys that she owns and I was sure that it would just be phase. I told her, however about the best places to buy dolls and their prices etc, but instead of listening to me, she wen't straight to ebay and found the cheapest doll she could. And then for about a year she deliberated over buying it (She would save up, and then spend half of her money on something else.). Eventually she bought her BJD and I thought that maybe after this long time and all I had told her about BJD's she would finally know how to look after it properly. I am sad to say however that when I wen't to her house quite recently I found her BJD being treated like all of her other toys. It's wig was knotted, its body was dirty and it was sitting in a cardboard box with her bratz dolls. She loved her doll, I could tell, but it just wasn't being treated well enough. -_-

I think that as well as age, passion is a key factor. My passions are English, art, photography and caring for my BJD's. If you lack that passion then you will lack the get up and go it takes to save and care for you dolls.

 

I'm over 20, I started to have my BJD on 10s' and I think it is not clear to define how is too young.
I think it is ok for people to love their dolls no matter how young they are.

 

Well said. That may be why I prefer that a young kid earns the money for their doll (or Wii, or PS3) It shows that they care enough about it. It's really not about the money, but priorities.

 

To own a doll it depends, like others said, on the character and not always on the age. My other question would rather be if it's a good idea to buy/give as a present a doll that expensive. Not for how they treat them, but more of a reasonable way. I mean, my parents would have NEVER bought me a doll like BJDs at 10-12(not even at 15-16 actually), not just because they think they are too expensive, but because I wouldn't have understood the value of money and what sacrifices they're needed to buy such a doll.

Don't you think an expensive doll is just a caprice for someone that young? Just another thing to add to the toy collection? Or for the parents to spoil their child?

 

Honestly, I don't think taking care of these dolls is such a big deal. It's nowhere near as important as taking care of a pet, for instance. The dolls can be damaged, but in the long run $500 or so isn't going to make a huge difference to parents who are wealthy enough to consider buying one on a whim. I think the main problem would be on the issue of spoiling kids, which applies to everything. There are so many things more expensive than dolls. For instance, if a child wants to learn piano and the parents buy them a $20,000 piano that they never practice on, that's a lot more extreme than buying a doll that either isn't played with or is damaged.

If a 12-year old has actually earned enough money to buy a BJD themselves, they probably are responsible enough to research the basics on owning one. (Also, buy "earning" I mean a real job, not just saving allowance money, chore money, or money for getting good grades. That's similar to the parents just buying the doll for them.)

 

It depends on the kid, not on the age. There are going to be kids who surprise you in a good way. They're more mature than other kids, and you can see that they can handle having such an expensive doll, and you won't feel like you're throwing your money away.

Then there are other kids not that mature enough to have things like that (I was probably was like that, and stayed like that until a few years ago).

You have to know the kid you're thinking about. There really is no set age limit for some things, and this is one of them.

It doesn't matter if you're rich, poor, or in-between. Not every rich person is frivolous with their money, even around their children. A lot of them were probably not rich to begin with, never forgot that, and want to instill the value of a dollar to their children. We can't all lump a group of people together like that.

Even if someone grew up in a place where they were spoiled, some children grow up and realize there's a kind of pride in yourself when you can afford to buy things on your own - there's a kind of autonomy that's gained when you realize you can afford the latest paperback, or even a pack of gum. There's a feeling of success when you have worked - be it chores, coin collecting, or an out-of-the-house-job - to get what you want. It doesn't matter what situation you came from. It's all based on setting goals for yourself, working towards them, and reaching them.

 

When I was twelve, I was able to care for my baby sibling. I would have been able to care for a doll too, a doll is much easier than a human baby. Most twelve-year-olds don't even see themselves as kids anymore, and they sure know about responsibility. And I don't think you HAVE to care for a doll, except as much as you WANT to care for it. So if the parents have enough funds or the kid already has a small job, why not.

 

ohh wow, this kind of upsets me. I'm sorry, I don't mean to go off topic here... but as a child to wealthy parents, this just isn't true. It depends on the parents. My parents loved buying me nice [and expensive] things for my birthday and hanukkah. ...but I have very good saving, research, and patience skills. I am not spoiled, and I hardly ever ask them for anything. They taught me how to use my money wisely, and how to prioritize and set goals. I'm sorry, this comment just made me really sad, and reminded me why I resented my parents money as a teen -- everyone treated me as a spoiled brat, when I really wasn't. I appreciated everything my parents got for me, and I still do.

My friend who bought his daughter the doll worked really hard to give it to her... it wasnt about how much money it was, it was about wanting to give her something special that she would cherrish and love. That doesn't mean he doesn't make her work for things... it was a very nice birthday present that she appreciated and to this day takes very extra special care of. She's a very good and responsible kid that does well in school and stands up for what she believes in...

I don't think it's fair to say all of us kids with wealthy parents dont appreciate things like that... My father has worked very hard his whole life to get where he is. ...I don't think it's wrong for my father to get me nice things if he wants to. But there are a lot of things my parents make me work for in my life.

I'm sorry to have gone off on a tangent, but that comment just... really upset me. That's all. And I find that even non wealthy parents buy their children things that are more expensive than dolls. =\

 

I'm 17 (bit of an age difference from the topic, but I am still a bit young ) and I saved for my BJD by doing chores. I wasn't just taking out trash or clearing tables; I took five hours every Saturday doing hard work like scrubbing floors, cleaning windows, vaccuming, and washing dishes. For kids who can't get a job, I don't think money from chores is just a handout from their parents (if they earn it).

And I think that mature children are capable of handling BJDs. I don't think they should buy a really expensive one to start, seeing as interests change a lot in the preteen years, but maybe a less-expensive one to kind of test the waters. And they can always sell them if they get bored with them, no harm done.

 

'Scuse me. But if my daughter wants a doll and does her chores religiously for however long it takes to save up the allowance to get it, she bloody well earned that doll. She did the work, she saved for it, she resisted the temptation to blow the money on other things. Sorry, but the source of the earnings doesn't matter. The thought behind it does.

Not to mention the fact that if I want to buy my daughter a BJD for Christmas or her birthday and I have the funds to do so, I damn well will -- and I don't appreciate the thought process (from anyone) that it's a bad idea for a parent to give a doll to a child as a gift. It's a GIFT. It isn't automatically a sign that the child is spoiled, or the parents throw money at anything the child might want.

I'm sorry, but as a parent these thought trains aggravate the unholy hell out of me. I do NOT like the idea of people equating a gift to instant spoiling of a child, and I doubly don't like total strangers potentially judging my parenting skills based solely on what I do or do not purchase for my child. There is nothing whatsoever wrong about a parent buying their child a gift, regardless of that gift's monetary value. Gifting and 'spoiling' are two entirely different things.

 

Honestly, they are *dolls*. Some of the smaller, cheaper bjds aren't substantially more expensive than mass-produced plastic dolls or action figures. If a kid can be trusted not to swallow the doll's eyes or small parts (which would be my main concern) or accidentally break the doll, there's no particular reason not to give a bjd to a child, as compared to a similarly priced mainstream toy.

(By which I mean, I'd treat the bjd as any other similarly priced toy. I wouldn't give a 600$ doll to a five-year-old unless I had an income that allowed me to treat 600$ as disposable money - which I have not. But a 60-100$ doll for a birthday or Christmas would be fine for my particular income level, and a more expensive doll to an older, more responsible child would be fine, too)

FWIW, I am puzzled by the attitude that toys are a ~privilege~ that must be earned by the sweat of the brow, not given as birthday or Christmas gifts.

 

Thank you. This made me feel much better.

 

I don't see a reason why not.
I always wanted a posable doll as a child. At least children can do more with those dolls than with others. ^^

 

U know as a child I had a hard time reading and at the time I was that age the popular thing was American Girl dolls which my mom saved a lot of money while my goal was to finish the first book (which was hard for me because I am visually impaired and it took me a long time to learn how to read with the sight that I do have). It took me almost all school year but I was so excited when we placed the order and she finally arrived. I think the same thing for BJD's it doesn't matter if its a gift, if u earned it, if whatever... I mean I have a friend that gave me BJD head it was gift. I guess I don't understand y it matters how they get the doll if they want it (other than the obvious stealing)

 

I'm not a person that hates rich people, but I can't stand people that spoil their children, rich or poor... which is why I said even wealthy parents. As in including. And ofcourse you never ask them for anything if they loved buying you expensive things, you would never need to.

 

You're welcome.

I'm not a wealthy mom. I'm not even close, to be perfectly honest. Nine times out of ten my kid gets stuff I make for her as gifts (but she likes those better anyway). It drives me absolutely batty when people get it into their heads that it's somehow a bad thing for parents to give their kids anything expensive, and that's what a lot of these comments seem to be treading dangerously close to. My parents weren't wealthy, still aren't. I got a PSP from them as a birthday gift one year. It was the only major gift I got all year, including Christmas and whenever else. I strongly doubt that suddenly makes me spoiled because my parents got me something really nice that I really wanted.

If my daughter really wants a doll and I can afford it, and she understands that it's not an instant rubber-stamp of every expensive thing she could ever want and she knows how to respect and care for expensive things, then I'll seriously consider getting her a doll. There are plenty of dolls that cost the same as or less than my PSP did, after all; in the grand gifting scheme of things, they're no different. Now, would I consider letting her attend meets and the like without me? HELL no, not until she's 18, and I'm not budging on that ever. But if she wants a doll and can care for an expensive item, I see nothing wrong with saving up -- or helping her save up -- to get the doll, and I'll take a pretty hefty dose of offense to anyone who thinks that's an automatic indicator that I'm 'spoiling' my daughter.

 

Thank you!!!! You know what I have two boys with dolls. My oldest is autistic, if those dolls make it even a little easier for him to get along or connect with other people then they are worth their weight in gold in my mind. How many of us whine about being judged for collecting dolls? Why then are we so fast to judge others for the choice of giving our child a doll. If I want to give my son a doll that is my right as a parent. If I feel he earned it by saving up his allowance instead of spending it on candy or other toys then that is my choice as a parent. I am firmly of the school of thought that giving a child one or two very nice toys instead of a ton of cheap toys will help them learn to cherish what they have instead of spoiling them. I could easily have thrown that same amount of money at a bunch of cheap plastic crap that would have been tossed around and easily broken because my child quickly lost interest. Instead I chose to invest in something that he loves with the hope that he will learn to care for it properly, respect it and treat it gently. So far neither of my boys have let me down, not even my almost 6 year old who could probably figure out how to destroy a solid metal ball if he really wanted to.

 

...i think you misunderstood, but i dont really find it necessary to argue my point any further. It really takes a lot to upset and offend me. you have successfully done both, and i now have nothing further to say to you; i suppose this is one of those moments in life where we will have to agree to disagree.

I think that's the big difference. When children understand the value of things, and they know that something is a lot of money and requires care, they certainly deserve to get something as nice as that as a present. If they're unappreciative and don't really understand value, then they don't deserve something nice. I had a family friend growing up that I hated. I hated her cuz she begged to go shopping every week, her parents spend so much money on her, buying her really nice jeans and stuff, and she'd always toss EVERYTHING on the floor. Her jeans were ruined by the end of the day because she was always stepping on them and crap. My parents knew how to say no, and they said it quite often. When they say no, I accept it and life goes on. but I had a lot of friends growing up that hearing "no" was the end of the world.

These dolls are wonderful toys/collectibles, and I believe that if a child shows that they are responsible, and can appreciate and love a doll, and the parent wants to provide the child with the doll [and of course can afford it] there's no problem with it. My friends daughter was so happy with her present, and my friend was so happy to give it to her. He isn't a wealthy parent either, but a lot of sweat went into saving up the money to get the doll for her... he was very happy to give it to her. She's a good student with strong opinions. She stands up for what she believes in, does a lot of stuff for the community, does all her chores, [after complaining for a few seconds XD] and does all the right things. She's a very good girl, and I feel that there's no reason why, if a child wants something like one of these beautiful dolls, they are undeserving of them as a present. And if that's spoiling a child, then I'd hate to know what the parents did to my "friends" growing up is called to have made them become such unappreciative brats.

 

I love presents. I love give presents and get presents. When I was a kid, no bjd existed, but I had a tiny japanese artist doll, and I loved it. I see no harm of giving good stuff to ppl ur love, childhood supposed to be a nice time of your life when you are happy and people love you, and make some of your wishes come true cause u cannot do it urself yet. If a child really wants something, he value it, he use it, he appreciate it (and you for being a nice mom ), then why not to give? My son is six, he's not interested in dolls, but he does own things boys are into - psp, ipod, ipad, camera, n so on. And good for him. If Ive a daughter instead and she would be interested in bjds, I would buy it for her and try to show how to choose style of clothes for it, how to take care, let her take it for trips and take pictures.
I think childhood have to be fun. There's enough of stress for kids these days, having fun and being creative is so important. I wish I had bjds when I was a kid.

 

I think that a lot of it depends on the child, and the parents should know the child better than anyone else. My son got his first BJD when he was five as a special birthday gift. Several factors went into my decision.

--He had been to several meet-ups with me, and had shown that he was careful and respectful around other people's dolls. (He honestly behaved better than some of the people in their late teens and twenties! XD)

--He had been extremely careful with my dolls, and my husband's. He knew to handle them with a gentle touch, to have clean hands, to keep food and drinks away from them, etc.

--He asked for one, and we talked about it. I told him that this would be a special treasure that needed to be taken better care of than his other toys. He said he understood that, and I believed him. I knew him well, and I knew that he could be trusted.

--We spent a lot of time looking at doll sites, and he finally settled on a Volks MSD Ken. Ken has been a dear friend for him, and a chance for him to develop his imagination. He has been there for my son when things have been too stressful (and our lives are extremely stressful), a little resin confidant and secret-keeper.

My son is almost ten now, and he still loves Ken (and his other doll Katie) dearly. I have never regretted getting him either doll, and I don't think I ever will. There are other BJDs he'd like to get, but those are for him to save for and purchase. He loves to sew for his dolls, and wants to try a face-up soon.

I chose to buy him a BJD because it was more than a thing to him. It was a treasure and a hobby he could share with his family, and a way to grow as a creative human being. Ken is more than a doll to him. Ken is a friend and a guardian angel. Ken is that invincible little boy that my son would love to be.

Parents get judged harshly and often unfairly for anything they do. My son has two BJDs. He is not a spoiled child. He is one of the most generous, sensible, and responsible people I know. He has not been indulged in every whim, and I am offended that some people see just this one aspect and assume a child is spoiled. I wish people would consider the whole picture before leaping to judgments.