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Trouble Entering a BJD Group?

Jun 5, 2012

    1. Hello!

      I don't know if this is too off-topic, or if it's been done already. So mods, if you need to, please delete or move this thread.

      I was thinking about something lately, and I wanted to post this to see if anyone has had the same experience.

      I live in a very small area, and I don't know anyone here who owns BJDs. A while ago, I found a group for my state, and I posted in multiple forums in that group to see if there was anyone near me/would like to meet. I unfortunately didn't get any replies. I also found a couple of individuals who actually live within driving distance, and nervously sent an email, but no replies either.

      I don't want to be that creepy person sending random people emails, but I really would like to meet more in the hobby. And since I haven't received a response from anyone in the state yet, I am having trouble finding my place in a BJD group

      My overall questions are:

      1. Have you every tried to join a BJD Meet-up group?
      2. If so, was it easy or hard? Was it a challenge getting replies?
      3. When you finally did become a member of the group in question, was it easy to mesh with them or was it hard?

      I am fairly new to the hobby, so I wasn't sure whether anyone would have interest in this subject or not. Thank you all for reading and your consideration!
    2. You might try attending a doll show or sale. Here's a link to some being held in Ohio this year: http://www.az-ps.com/dollshowusa/Events-OH.htm. I first met some local doll owners when I went to a doll show near my town and saw a table with some bjd's for sale and a few people standing around. I just introduced myself and they invited me to a meetup. You could also search this : http://www.denofangels.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?17-Doll-Meetups for the word "Ohio" and look at the threads that pop up to see if any meetups are being held near you. Most collectors are very happy to have new people.
    3. I can't speak for other states... but the Michigan group is fairly active even though we're kind of spread out. We kind of have an East-side/West-side thing going on, since that's how we're concentrated. We also try to plan meets that are more in the middle of the state, so more people can come, and anime conventions usually get a decent turn-out.

      The best advice I can give is to try and organize a meet yourself, even if you are new to the hobby. Pick a public place, like a mall or a museum, set a date, and post an invitation on the forum. Even though the Michigan group is active, I've noticed that most of the meets are usually planned by the same handful of people, and when they put out an invitation, other people try to come when they can.

      (P.S. How close to Michigan are you? If you're nearby, you're more than welcome to drop in on the Michigan meets.)
    4. I know 100% what your going through. I'm from, living in New Zealand. I tried every google surch trying to find if there were anyone else in nz that shared my hobby and i couldnt find a thing! I was really lucky that i got to know a girl off youtube and she sent me an invte to DOA. One of my first surches was for nz'ers. Much to my amazement i found some! I moved up to one of the biggest citys for uni and found there were allso in the same city.
      I messaged a few. It was up to them if they wantd to email back or not, but i wanted to try. I got one email back and found that i've made a really good friend. Shes actaully very much like me. I havnt actaully meet her in person yet, but she seems lovely. And out of the handful i emailed she was the only one that replied. Because nz is so small bjds arnt really well known at all. So there is very very few of us here which is a little sad. I may never get to experance a full bjd meetup :( But we will see. For all i know there all n hiding. Some people may take longer to reply also. I dont think its bad to email them. If anything id keep trying to find others and send them one to. ^^
    5. I'm soo lucky i'm in Austin, there like 15-20 girls and boys in our group.

      1. Have you every tried to join a BJD Meet-up group?

      yes! It was really easy, I went to my first doll meet two years ago and meet some of my best friends and I also meet people randomly at game shops but that's because i'm very outward when it comes to my doll hobby. also i made friends at my two local doll shop you may order from Kerbey Lane Doll Shop. I think Austin (not saying that other cites are bad) is one of the best places to be if you want to make friends and go to meets. I don't know if i'd like to be in this hobby if i couldn't share it with friends that's half the fun. all i have to say is keep trying to make it to meets and make some friends that well last a life time. i love doll hunting with others!

    6. The only reason I am not in any BJD groups, is the fact that I live quite far. I do chit chat with people in Sacramento...but I live very far, and I am not quite in a position to travel so far. :(

      I try to keep an eye on events in Old Sac, since a lot of the time people in the Sacramento group attend those events, or will gather together. Or in Valley Springs...I heard there were a couple people there. X3

      I haven't been to a doll meet since I joined DOA, but that doesn't mean I never will. You just gotta keep looking, and find that happy medium until you or other people know you/you know them well.
    7. I second the idea of going to doll shows. I am lucky in that Portland is very active with the hobby. I'm sure you will find someone near you! If you were near me, I'd come visit you!
    8. I wanted to attend a meet, so I looked in the proper thread here on DOA and found a group that is within driving distance.
      Apparently they hold regular get togethers and know each other quite well. They were in the process of planning their next meet and were discussing when to set the date and all the details.
      I made a post introducing myself, telling them where I live and saying that I would love to come to their meet with my dolls.
      I was totally ignored! No one said 'welcome, we'd like to meet you', nor was I acknowleded in any way. They continued to talk about their plans, which obviously did not include me.
      I considered their behavior to be very rude!
      At that point I decided that they could kiss my royal patoot! They are not the kind of people I would care to know.
    9. I would at least have said hi and welcomed you to join.
      I notice that though. There are also a lot "fast moving" topics on DOA...so it's easy to get "ignored".

      It's a common and unfortunately accepted occurrence that people will only look for and respond to things if it relates or pertains to them.

      Though the "right thing" would have been to at least acknowledge some one new who has joined the topic. I think it's proper etiquette as well as a courtesy. However, not every one is on the same page when it comes to proper etiquette.

      When I do go to group events, that is what I look for. Introductions are important. A simple welcome would suffice, even in a large group. I would be more inclined to stick around, if I was welcomed and felt welcomed.

      Also, actions DO speak louder then words.
    10. I've never had issues with meetup groups -- there are several in my area. Groups are going to differ of course, but in my experience it's not difficult. Also, if it's a group that gets together fairly often, you will get to know people better the more you meetup with them. It can be a little intimidating the first time, but if you get in with a good group of people it's really worth it.
    11. Thank you so much! I'm glad that I'm not the only one! I'm glad that when you got on DoA that you found someone! I know there are a few people from where I'm from, but they are all probably really busy. I don't fault them for not replying. And even if you have not met your friend in person yet, it is nice to have someone to talk to, right? :lol: I will keep trying too, and in fact, I had a message from a very nice person about her group! They're a little far, but I will keep trying to make friends :aheartbea

      The same exact thing happened to me when I posted in the group forum! Exactly the same. I introduced myself, and since they were talking about setting up the meet, it seemed like once people replied continuing the thread of though, my introduction just sank in the thread. Where I'm from, people are in some really tight-knit groups, and I'm shy anyway, so I have never had much luck trying to make new friends. But they were also on a subject that I interrupted, so I do figure they didn't see my introduction. It looks like it will take a little bit more effort to break in there lol :sweat

      I'm so sorry that you had a bad experience, and I personally am afraid of them not accepting me even if I'm there to meet them.

      I believe the same thing, and this is actually one of my first internet forums, so I'm unfamiliar anyway :sweat I do want to feel welcomed, but I also understand that when people don't know someone, especially if they are not right in front of them, then it is hard to get conversation started. Common, but unfortunate.

      And to the rest of you who kindly posted, I will definitely try to be more active. I like the idea of planning my own meet, and if I make it in a fun place that's easily reached by a bunch of people, then maybe they'll come ;)
    12. Lunarbreeze You are welcome to write to me, I won't think you are creepy. :) I found a group in my home town through a friend who was already into dolls. From there my interest sparked and I decided to order my own doll. I'm still a doll noob but I'd love to have a doll friend to share interests with.

    13. I've messaged people privately who I have seen live my area and the response has always been good. It's proven to be a great way of making new friends.
    14. When I first joined the hobby, I thought I was the only person in KY with a BJD....this forum has proven me wrong! At first, I was scared to join the meet up thread, and since I'd heard about "elitism" and "doll snobs", I was was leery and asked if my dolls and I would be welcome. I was surprised at the response when I got told that ALL dolls were welcome, even if they are OT for DoA, and they seemed surprised that I even needed to ask that! I went and was a little shy the first time or two, but now I feel like I fit right in and can talk to anybody at the meets, no matter what their age, time in the hobby, type of dolls owed, etc. Our group might have a variety of different personalities, but our dolls bring us together and it's a lot of fun.

      When I see a new post in our meetup threads, I always try to welcome the person. We're in KY, just south of you. If it's not too far, you're welcome to join our meets. :)
    15. I've actually had more luck getting to know people here, on DOA then physical meets. Mostly because everyone is just one click away. xD

      I live way far away...so eh yeah it's difficult driving anywhere, even just to get groceries or commodities. -_-'

      Usually, if meetup happens on an event, in a place I know well. I would try to go...if I didn't already make plans to do something else. :I
    16. I haven't been to a meet up only because it seems the only IL ones are in Southern IL and I'm far up North....
    17. Thank you so much Citrinepoint! I'm glad that you had a friend that could introduce you too! I'll message you! I'm a doll noob too >.<

      I felt the same way! I didn't know anyone, and I didn't know the reach of this hobby, so I thought I was the only one in Ohio that had a doll. I was also afraid of "elitism" so I have been a little shy. I can't wait to go to my first meet-up. Thank you for telling me your story!