Unconditional love or Actual possessiveness?

Eeeeh? Are you saying single people shouldn't be spending their money on their dolls/hobby? 'Cause I'm really thinking the opposite - because I'm young and "alone" I don't have anyone else to spend the money I earn on. I don't have kids to eat the contents of my wallet, so I can spend it on myself. So maybe I don't understand; are you saying only married people should have hobbies?


As for the main question.... I love my dolls, but I wouldn't call it unconditional. Like others have said, if they stopped making me happy, I'd sell them. We have a give and take kind of relationship. ;P
I pretty much agree with everything Kazzii said. .^^

 

I don't think that's what they meant, but I'm not the person who posted that so I don't know.

I personally think that it's easier to maintain a hobby when there is more money coming in. When there are two people bringing in an income, it is much easier to maintain a hobby.

Now when you have children this changes completely. Especialy if it dwindles down to one of the couple having a job.

 

Personally, it's not the "doll" that i love. It's the Character. I created the character, and in many ways, my characters are my alter ego's. Arachne has the bitchy, nasty attitude towards people that i sometimes feel, but don't express unless provoked. Aquido is the silent, more conservative type. He's the side of me that wishes to fit in. Dresden is my inner child. He likes the things that i liked as a kid, and that i wish i could have had. He's my playful nature. I simply bought dolls to harness those characters. So, i could seperate with them IF i had to. However, i don't plan to do that. LOL

Even if i sold the doll, the character would still exist to me. In my mind, i still have Viktorya, Mykal, Matthew, Angel, and Damien, even though i sold their doll forms. One day, i'll probably get new doll's to represent them. (when i can afford to.)

Basically, for me, it's the character's that i love unconditionally, not the dolls.

 

I'm also casting my vote for unconditional love for the character, however, the character for me - Ichigo - is not my own creation. I got the doll because nothing else was enough to get closer yet to the character.

I do foresee a time when the doll I have will no longer hold my interest, or the character might not either.
Does that change my answer? No. Unconditional is not Eternal.

 

Even though I say I "love my dolls" or that they have souls/emotions/whatnot, I don't think I actually love them in the sense of the word, as in, the feeling you experience with an actual human being.

They however, are posessions that I will find almost impossible and very difficult to let go. The reason I adore my dolls is because they look beautiful and they're extensions of my imagination, so it's kind of hard to not like something that you put a piece of yourself into, the same way passionate artists/sculptors are with their works.

 

Ummm for me, I think it may be a bit of both. For instance, I don't think I could ever sell either of my boys. I'm way too attached. It's like selling a kid, to me. I mean, sure, you could get one in the same mold at a later date and dress it the same way, but it's not really the same, is it?
And also, while I do RP with them occaisionally, it's not as if I chose their characters for them. I sort out the basics (gender, bit of BGS, and that's about it), and let them 'decide' everything else for themselves (age, personality, attitude, etc)

Maybe it's creepy that way for some people, but I really do love my dolls. They aren't *just* dolls, even if I know it's all they really are. I mean, they're hunks of beautiful plastic. But what they become to the "owner" is also a big part of it, I think. A friend, an emotional outlet, a wall, etc. I won't say lover, because personally I can't fathom that, but if you think about the emotional attachment (not the physical one), I think that would be closest to describe how I act around Kiril. Hiroshi is much more of a child to me, someone to be maternal with and have fun and joke with, and Kiril is that everything I'm lacking and need and want.

I'm sounding crazier by the minute, I know haha... But it's hard to explain it without sounding weird anyway. :S So yeah, I know they're "simply possessions," but I think it also goes way beyond that. While I wouldn't encourage anyone to pull away from human contact (as it's really super different), these dolls could quite easily become your best friends (Hey, they don't tell secrets, and you can't read them like in a diary )

I think I've dug that hole deep enough now. But really, it's very hard to explain, and I suppose it might be a touchy subject for some people. (ie: hobby to obsession and all that, which isn't the case withi me at least.. haha)

 

I'd say I love the character rather than the doll...but...the doll now EMBODIES the character... and when I look at him, he looks like a little human! He's not just a hunk of plastic, like satoru said. :3 The character is precious, but the doll... I dunno... I feel funny just staring at him... like... "Why you starin' at me, woman!? D<" He's just as precious as the character.

 

I'm very sentimental, but I also know that I'm severely posessive as well. So I guess to me, it is the latter. To know that their smile is for me, to have that feeling of "mine". I mean, I like dolls that belongs to my friends too, but with my own doll, this is how I bond ^^

 

For me I think it depends on which doll... My love for YooChun is most definately unconditional, without a single doubt. My love for my other dolls? Probably more of a possession thing...

Why that is, I'm really not sure. It probably has something to do with the fact that I've had YooChun longer, he was my first doll, and I was completely and utterly alone when I got him. My entire emotional state was completely shattered by a boyfriend of the time and YooChun was his replacement (my little "mail-order-replacement-boyfriend and yes, I DID call him that. Still do sometimes actually, even though I have a "real" boyfriend now..).

So I suppose my unconditional love for YooChun stems from an exaggerated personification that I gave to him the moment I placed his order. I haven't been able to give the same kind of dedication or love to any of my other dolls, but not for lack of trying.

Guess I'm really crazy though, lol. ^^;

 

I'm also one of the "love the character" people. xD My dolls are all characters that I've created, characters that have developed and changed over the years. Karo, his character has been around maybe a year and a half.. Karrian, ohh.. I made his character maybe three or four years ago. Bedwyn is a fairly new character that I'm still getting to know. But all the same, I love them as if they were real people, simply because I've created them and given them a soul. They're like true friends to me. ... wow, that sounds really creepy, huh? XD I do have real living, breathing fleshy friends too, really! XD

But to put it simply, I love my dolls' characters. If I didn't have the dolls, the characters would still exist and I would still love them and be happy. The dolls are simply wonderful shells for these souls that I've created, and ones that provide a bit more fun to go with the character.

And edit to clarify one more thing.. I don't think it's wrong at all for people to think their dolls are just dolls. To some people, they are just resin dolls, and that doesn't make them any more of less of a good doll owner or person. It's really just a matter of opinion. But what's important is that you respect other people's opinions, no matter how different they are from yours.

 

I love my husband, my kids, my house, my dogs, my TV, my computer…and my dolls.
Love is a state of mind, a feeling, an emotion. We put part of ourselves into what we have
Around us. We give part of our souls. Part of my soul is in my husband, house, kids and in
my dolls as well.
I use my abilities as an artist and paint my dolls the way no one else can paint them, then they
Collect part of my soul. So if we can love ourselves we can love everyone and everything.
We are reflected in everything

Is that too deep? lol

 

This is a very interesting topic to me >.>
Reading through it at first I thought to myself that "No, its not unconditional, because if I stopped feeling the way I do about my dolls, I would sell them!" but then it occured to me that that very situation came up in my home ^.^;;

Perhaps this is silly, but one cant really help how they feel, can they?

My first doll that I bought for myself, Uetena, and I have a love-hate relationship. She was the first doll I bought, but not the first I recieved. My Ami, Christine, arrived before her even though they were ordered around the same time. Christine was perfect from the moment I opened the box. Beautiful face up, gorgeous wig, and a cute little outfit. I was enthralled!!

The problem was, when I got the doll I bought, an Angel Fantasy Lily, she wasnt the same at all. She had no face up, eyes I couldnt stand, and a wig I didnt like. Her oufit never sat right with me either. I was perplexed ><
I poured money into her. I got her a face-up, a new wig, TWO sets of eyes because the first didnt work out, and tons of accessories. I sewed her an outfit and everything. Still, she wasnt who I thought she would be. I know it sounds insane, I customized her myself! But the character she came out to be and the character I thought she would be werent even close to eachother.

I pondered selling her. Certainly a doll that cost so much and doesnt bring you joy should just be sold, right? But watching her I knew I couldnt. It wasnt that she was my first. It wasnt the custom design I had put on her. It had something to do with loving who she turned out to be, rather than what I wanted her to be initially. I know she's not a real person, I swear Im not a freak.

She's a brat, too! In roleplay world she picks on my other dolls and acts like she owns me, but I have to say, she's the only doll who is like that for me. Something inside of me makes me feel like if I got rid of her it would hurt her somehow, like the feeling of being thrown away because you werent just like all the others.

I agree that the energy you put into a doll is likely what they give back, so perhaps a doll has a soul and the love you put into them? Maybe you can love unconditionally. I've always been drawn to the unwanted, perhaps I feel I can salvage their soul, make them feel loved.

In a conversation recently I had considered selling her to my friend to get a different doll (my friend and I rp dolls frequently) and I imagined the jealousy and sadness in her, and suddenly I loved her more than ever. Perhaps everyone has the want to be needed, and somehow imagining that a doll needs my love makes me feel better? Or maybe I would rather keep her and love her entirely than get rid of her and find out someday she missed me

 

Well, I can give an opinion from a point of view of someone that doesnt even have a doll. I'm still saving up for one. But getting deep on a philosophical level here lol I think that we as humans give inanimate things personalities and 'souls' to feel closer to them. Its not inherently a bad thing, its just the way we are. For example people that love their car. Giving your car a personality and such could mean much to you but nothing to someone else. Also take into consideration the concept of God. Whether or not it exists, if you think it does then it does. Whether or not it is actual, it exists in your mind, it exists as a thought or belief, therefore: it does indeed exist. If only to you. I love my doll already and I don't even own him yet. Would I consciously die for my doll? Well, no one can really answer whether they would consciously die for another human being if they've never been put in the position to do so. One can strongly believe they will, but whos to say what will happen if the time ever arises? And as for the doll returning your love. Again using that crazy 'I think therefore I am' thing. If you believe your doll has a soul, then it does, if only in your mind. If you believe it can love you back, then it can, if only in your mind. Does this sound crazy? Probably lol. But it turns the table on rational thinking. Most of these things usually do. If your doll has a 'personality' or 'soul' then it can betray you, it can love you, it can make you feel secure. Not saying anyone else will understand the special relationship you've established with a doll, but if it makes sense to you then go for it lol.
>.> lol ok I'm done ranting now. But that's another way to look at it.

 

AGREED. If the doll for some reason would end up being destroyed (OMG THATS A HORRIBLE THOUGHT) the 'soul' attatched to the doll would continue on within you. It would be sad to loose the shell where it resided but if you look at it that way, then your character can never truly die if the doll does. The doll does represent the 'soul' that's placed into it. But if push comes to shove, that character would still live on. Tis why loving the doll would make sense to some. It's where the 'soul' is. ok lol philosophy hurts my brain.

 

To me, my dolls are just in the end, possessions...it gives me a satisfaction knowing that I was able to afford something so frivolous and expensive..as when I was in my 20-30's I was basically broke most of the time.
It gives me pleasure to buy them outfits that i can't wear and have them look the way i want and "be" who I want.
I am not sure I am "bonded" to them, there are a few I have that i don't want to sell..but in the end if I had to..I would...I can always buy another just like them..{I am not into limiteds as much..}
I am bonded to my pets and family..but not to inanimate objects..when I sell a doll it doesn't bother me too much..but when I lose a pet..it tears me in half and takes me a long time to come to terms with...
in the end, a doll is just a doll..something beautiful to enjoy for however long I have them..

 

Well, I gotta say first of all, I don't own a doll yet (sadly) but I already know I would love one unconditionally, to a certain extent.

Firstly, I do agree on the "it's my character!" or "it's Tite Kubo's character!" statement. If I got a doll, I would definitely model him or her on a character I love most (I'd probably get a Byakuya over a Renji though, simply because Byakuya would be more aesthetically pleasing to me, and a Xemnas over an Axel, even though I love Ren more'n Bya and Axel more'n Xem.) So I'd already love him or her.

Even though I've stopped obsessing over certain characters, and let some of my original characters go, I never really forget them. And even though some people might say "well, you're not going to like Kingdom Hearts in ten years," I'm a high school student. I'm probably not going to still be talking to the person who made that statement in ten years, either. If he or she is a current friend of mine, does that mean I'll magically stop loving him or her, too? Of course not.

And as for creating a doll on someone else's character, it's not just a "fandom" thing for me, because it's not only the character that is already created, but also the character that is in your mind, and since I draw and write and roleplay, the interpretation of Tite Kubo's or Tetsuya Nomura's or whomever's characters is very personal to me. They kind of become a character, just like any characters that I create completely from my imagination. Since my imagination is a part of me and who I am, of course I would love my doll.

It doesn't stop there for me, though. As I mentioned earlier, I love to draw and write. Since I'm also a bit strapped for cash (which is probably why I don't own a doll) I'd try to make my own wigs, furniture, clothes-- you name it. I had an argument with someone earlier about this, but all my art, all my creations, are a little part of my soul. I hate selling my paintings or losing my drawings, etc, etc. All that work I would pour into my dolls isn't just work as equivalent to, say, paperwork. It holds sentimental value for me.

Of course, if I just buy a blank doll, never take it out of the box, and put it on display, I'm never going to love my doll. But I already know that I'm going to make mine represent something I love, and put all my love into making it. Then my doll will become a part of me, just like all my other creative work.

I mean, I love my paintings, but if I had to eat, I'd sell them. If my friends were incorrigibly bad influences on me, I'd cut them out of my life, but I'd still love them. And I mean, I wouldn't give my life for a dog or cat, either, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't own pets because "I wouldn't love them enough."

So, yes, of course I'd love my doll. If I didn't, I wouldn't dream of spending so much money and time on one. =P

 

This absolutely is true, and it's true at the basic cellular (and deeper) level of existence. We HAVE to be selfish, we are hard-wired that way. We will always do, whenever possible, what it takes to ensure the survival of our DNA. And that is NOT a bad thing. It is a basic necessity of our existence.

Most of us are capable of enormous levels of giving toward other people - and in the case of our loved ones I'd be willing to bet most of us would do whatever possible to ensure their survival first. But when push comes to shove, you only have the capacity to TRULY see the world from one person's point of view - your own. Because you can't share someone else's brain.

I would say that I have something vaguely like unconditional love for my dolls, but of a different nature. Why unconditional? because I don't expect them to give anything back. They *can't.* They're dolls. But to me each of them has a personality that comes through in the way they look, the way the light bounces off them, the positions they assume when I move them around. They're my friends and companions, and my treasured possessions. Still, I'd have no problem selling them if it meant the difference between that and my kids' well-being.

I wonder sometimes if there even is such a thing as completely unconditional love. The closest thing I've ever seen is the way one of my cats is towards me. I swear, there is nothing I can do wrong in her eyes. But even then she expects me to feed her and care for her basic needs. That's all. It's darned minimal, but there has to be some level of give and take even in this apparently unconditional relationship.

And that's perfectly OK.

Oh... I just had to add this because there's one statment back along that just bothered me so much. It was the "there comes a time in your life when you have to put aside the toys." I know that was long the belief, and I certainly don't want to imply any criticism of whoever posted it. But I am also one of the old folks, and have done that to the best of my ability, and have found it to be a very unnatural and damaging holdover of the "Puritan work ethic" many of us inherited. Put away your toys? Why? Do you not have the need to play and explore and enjoy, even as a responsible adult? I think it would be much more appropriate if we could say "There is a time when you need to focus most of your energies on your responsibilities in greater society." Or something along those lines. The less black-and-white, the better.

I've seen too many deeply damaged souls out there who just have lost all sense of adventure and fun because they're so determined to be "grownups." Which is one of the reasons these wonderful and wonderfully expensive dolls are so nurturing to us. They allow us to release a bit of that child.

Besides, isn't having the latest gadget and/or fast car the same thing? They just don't look quite so "toy-like" but they serve the same purposes

And yes, it is entirely possible that I'm just full of it. I have been before

 

I also agree with that statement.

And I also agree with everyone that a doll serves different purposes for everyone, so opinions will differ.

For me, I feel that I receive unconditional love from my dolls because they'll be forever stuck in time smiling gently and forgivingly at me. If I damage them, they'll still be smiling. If I sell off their parts, they'll still forgive me with their soft expressions. For me, unconditional love requires no love to be returned; there is no give and take; its selfless and the dolls give me that feeling of unconditional love. But I also recieve unconditional love from families and friends too, so it's not like I'm crazy or anything.

But do I give unconditional love to my dolls? Nah, I dont think so. I'd have to say that my dolls are my possessions. I'm an artist, so they exist for creative purposes (painting facups, dressing up, making clothes, photograpy) and they reflect a bit of myself (in their style of clothing, the mold, personality). They serve as a play function to release stress and to inspire creative growth. They are an extension my imagination, ethic, values and beliefs.

However, people change and I change too. If I lose interest because of other hobby or interests, then they'll have to go.

Nothing is forever.

 

I think the problem with this debate is a question of semantics - when we use the word love here we *are* applying it to an inanimate object, and through the replies we've seen here we've seen a load of people using the word "love" in many different ways - Brightfires talked of viewing a couple of her dolls as silent companions, loving them in the same way as a treasured pet.

Many people have talked about loving characters, loving the actual doll's personality. This could be called unconditional love, because there are no expectations, after all, what can you expect from a character born of your own imagination?

When I apply the word "love" to my dolls I mean it in a loose sense, "I love my dollies." They're fun to me, I like to play. If I loose intrest in them, I'll probably sell them. I might not, I might hang onto them due to the fact that they're beautiful, or that they remind me of my current years.

But personality I wouldn't call it unconditional love, as my feelings for the dolls aren't that strong. Yes, I would be truely gutted if they were stolen, I'd probably cry, whinge and do everything in my power to get them back, but it's not the depth of feeling as I would have if a member of my family died.

Unconditional love for me implies that there is the potiental for your feelings to be deeply hurt through the actions of another and yet you will STILL hold a great depth of emotional attachment (love?) to that indivudual. This can't be applied to dolls as they just do not have the potiental to actually hurt a person emotionally. Because they can't act of their own free will.

Do my dolls love me? Of course they do, because their personalites are of my devising and (not being concieted) but I do love myself. In a positive way. Not the arrogant way, just....I'm happy with who I am and look after myself to keep me that way. ^_^

 

For me, dolls are possessions and the representations of my characters I have created. I love my characters, and so I love the dolls that represent them. But if there was no character I would not feel the same about them. In some respect people have to have some emotional attachment to their belongings. If something is "not their style", or it "doesn't look right" that means they haven't found a way to connect with the item, be it clothes, decorations, furniture, houses, dolls or whatever. If we don't feel that connection then we neglect or discard the item somehow. By that reasoning we all love our dolls because they remain with us.

It does not mean that love is unconditional. Dolls (possessions) are manifestations of emotions within ourselves that we project into them. If the doll were to disappear it would be sad, but we could also find something else to channel ourselves through. Possessions are ultimately replaceable because they are things we, in some way, use to reflect facets of ourselves. So if the reflection is destroyed, the real image remains. But I don't think by loving dolls as possessions cheapens the love we hold for them either. They hold bits of ourselves and it is not wrong to have love for yourself.

Nor do I think it's wrong if someone does love their dolls unconditionally. As long as their love does not hurt others, I don't think it's my place to pass judgment on what kind love is 'acceptable'. As adults of sound mind (at least I will assume so) who must decide what is important to them, if your love for your dolls overcomes everything else, then it's really none of my business. I cannot dictate that people love dolls in a certain way, or that it's silly or wrong, because people will do what they want regardless. And as long as it doesn't hurt people, I don't see anything wrong with loving a doll unconditionally.

And that's my two cents.