Unconditional love or Actual possessiveness?

I think that's the same for me. you worded it better than i could.

 

I agree with many, that it depends on the owner, yet I'm willing to admit it's possessiveness on my part. I love my dolls, truly, but I'm not even about to say it's unconditional, since it's not. This doesn't mean I love him less; it just means that there's stuff he could do to make me un-love him. Or stuff that could happen. And on a certain level, I don't do things for the doll, but for my own...comfort, I guess. For me, basically, or some desire in me. I don't mind facing that; I'm aware that for me to love a doll unconditionally it'd have to be a very very special doll, with significance outside of itself. After all, it's that way with people, too. I love people. But for me to completely love someone unconditionally, they have to mean something more to me than just a person. A family member, a very reliable and very special friend... I'll still love everyone, no matter what, but in the case of most people I've met, and even befriended, that love can dim or diminish. If Alexander comes to mean something very very super-special to me, of course my love will then be unconditional; no matter how he is destroyed, no matter my financial, emotional, social situation, I will love him. Until then, he is still loved, but unusual circumstances could change that love, could prioritize some other goal above it. I don't want to sound superficial or unappreciative, because I'm not, but I am honest with myself when I say that he is more than just "a pretty doll", but that love for him is not yet "unconditional", at least by what I define as unconditional.

 

to me my dolls are part of my family yet friends to me all the same

I could never imagine selling my dolls even if time was hard as each has its own personality and that to me is ike selling your parents or something

so to me i would have to say that the bond between me and my dolls is unconditional as i will never specifically hate them in anyway

 

It really...depends on the person. If you worry about your doll when something happens or wounder if he/she is lonely when your away then it is unconditional love. If you can sit your doll on a shelf and not feel guilty about leaving him/her there for a long while, then it's possesiveness.

 

Gene lives on a shelf but only coz he's comfy up there and poses well. I miss him when I'm away from too though.. Just wanted to add that

 

Hmm. Interesting topic here. My two cents time
Forgive me in advance for not recalling the name or terminology of this school of thought I'm about to spurt out

One way to look a it I think is that everything exists because we, as humans, beleive it to. We can beleive a doll to have a soul, a personality, a sort of life. And, in a way, the moment we think of them as such, they become real to the owner. The owner can love the person they created and feel something is being given back.

This ofcourse does not change the fact dolls are innanimate resin- but to some, at least, I think their perception of the doll as something with a character that can be loved unconditionally (as far as the human in question can) is a fair one. Depends entirly on the owner

To bring it winding back to the original subject, yes, i think I will have that bond with the doll as more than resin- I've bought him specifically to embody a character of mine who has that feeling of being an old freind. As such, I already feel that attachment. It's a love for the character in my case, though, rather than the physical embodiment into a doll.

 

This is an ultimate pantheist. I am a pantheist. I believe in gods the same way you've described. Human faith creates its own world. I know I will reincarnate, so reincarnation exists for me. All gods who people know exist, therefore, exist, in each of their lives this is real.

Just thought Id add that. For the record, I love my doll, my heart literally soars thinking of him. Just like it does for my Italian Greyhound and my late fiance. Of course, in their case its a reaction my spirit has to theirs, but in Mars case its cause he's primo perfect. He's absolutely perfect. That is all I can say.
And possessiveness spawns from the addiction of the feeling they give you. It's human nature ;D

 

Some people can fool theirselves into actually believing that they could love an object, but in the end, it's just the same as every other materialistic object out there. No one should love materialism more than life. Life itself is priceless. The two are incomparable. However, having today's society upsessed with making life easier, resulting with more people becoming lazier and lesss independent, is the focus of advancement on technology and commercialism really worth it? We are wasting our time talking about obsessions with dolls, a representation or humans, whilst there are infinite things that we can explore out there in the universe in order to satisfy the questions of our existence. However, happiness is, afterall, merely health and a short memory. Happiness is all that we are looking for in the end, isn't it? Again, one should understand the difference betweeen love and obsession.

 

Not everyone who loves something is obsessed, nor do the two feelings/spiritual existances remotely relate... Obsession is a WAY different emotion or mental thing altogether than love. There are many things I love, but actual spiritual love, only a few, it just so happens my doll is one of them. But like I said, not through a connection of the soul, like with my baby girl, but through another sort of connection.

PS we are wasting time talking about dolls because this is a doll forum and we have time to waste. Obviously. And it's really fun. And like you said, makes us happy, so we come and post.

 

I couldn't love a doll unconditionally- I like them because they're pretty things, that I can dress up. Then again, i don't love anything unconditionally, as, when you get down to it, there are -always- conditions on some level. To love without conditions would be extremely unhealthy, as shown by people staying around abusive people (though even that is obviously filling /some/ condition...). Personally, i doubt the non-conditional parent/child bond, as, during some of the unhappier times of my childhood, I would have been pleased if the offending party had vanished

I do feel that the conditions are very different though... I wouldn't like a doll quite as much if it had a broken off finger since the prettiness is about all you get from a doll- but, if my Significant Other's finger fell off, i would love him just as much. I will put up with a little grief from someone i love now and then, but if an inanimate object (other than my computer, heheh...) causes me trouble, I just won't like it as much.

As someone who's posessive due to a tendancy to feel i'm not in control, dolls let me get some of the possesiveness and need for control out of the way, so i can more effectively bond with my SO (who has a submissive and obliging attitude, which is probably not good for him, all things considered)-He likes being dressed up in pretty clothes, but not necessarily the exact type i'd like him to wear (we have surprisingly similar tastes though) and doesn't like me putting makeup on him very often, and he rarely lets me dye his hair any colour except bright red, so the temptation to ignore his opinions and play 'dollie' with him is very much there (the 'given an inch, taken a mile' principle )-
but I think it's a little unhealthy for me to have too much control over a real person, for both him and me, so I don't try pressure him into doing what i want him to do, which would counter all of my efforts to get him to be a little less obliging, (not that anyone can complain about 'tell me what you want for dinner so I can have it ready to be cooked when you get hungry, in the meantime, how about you take a break and i'll give you a massage?' ) since I feel that the more someone does what you want them to do for no better reason than you want them to do it, the harder it is to respect them as a person, rather than like them as an accesory or possesion, if that makes sense.

I like /things/ but affection is, for the most part, reserved for people, since people have a choice in the matter, and do things, and can love you back.(and when they start just doing what you want them to like a doll, it gets a little unnerving, heh) And my computer, but that's only because you can't have something integral to your work, hobbies, and socialisation ( all things which involve some level of emotion) that you use every day for years and spend half your money on, and not like it just a little... so i can see where the affection for dolls comes in

 

Agreed. I think you make some very good points, but I think you'll most likely be attacked for them.

 

I have to admit, I love my boys to bits, they provide me with comfort, I can hug them. But I know I'm possessive off them. Lol if you will but to me they are real because they have become/were originally characters to me, so to put them in the dollfie form makes those characters more "real" don't get me wrong I understand fully that the it is a doll. It is resin moulded and sculpted and etc etc, but to me they still feel real, i still love them and to me I guess I feel some love back ^^

They make me happy. Obsessed over them, but also at the same time I recognise them as dollfies, its really odd I guess. I see both sides of it equally, but prefer one.

Stop me if i'm not making any sense I never am good at debates but i do try.

 

I guess I'm one of the very few people who actually has a rather deep attachment towards the dolls I'm bonded with. Character doll or not, it doesn't really matter. The keyword here is bonded. It's kind of hard to explain.. Some dolls I don't feel bonded to, I may just see them as toys/items/whatever and sell them whenever I feel like it. But once I'm really bonded with a certain doll, it is quite scary to think about the "no limits" I have towards it. They become irreplaceable, and I may view certain dolls I own as my life-partners in a way.

To me, humans grow in and out of love. People break hearts. Dolls do not of course; they're not alive. Hence, they will stay with you forever no matter what until you finally get rid of them. That is why they are very special to me, probably even more than any partners I could find in life. I would rather let go of a partner who couldn't accept my dolls than let my dolls go for a partner.

Of course, dolls are simply just dolls, you might think. But still, you know they will never betray you or backstab you like humans might. They heal you by just being there with you. However, I am not saying that one should love their dolls more than family/companions, etc. I'm saying that it is a different kind of love but it rivals just as equally. At least for me. Just my two cents.

 

To be honest i think is very possible to love something you own as much as love for a person or a living being. Whether that's morally wrong is not the point. It's like asking, in a fire, would you save you dolls or your plants? I'm sorry, but i'll go for my dolls, even if they have no life, and it has nothing to do with money as i have more valuable things around the house that would probably worth saving.

I don't have pets so my dolls are my pets and i love them as much.

 

I don't think they were comparing something like "plants" as living things. They were referring more to living things where there is a give and take. Family, friends, pets ...that sort of thing.

 

I believe there is a give and take with plants. It all depends on your perspective and how you communicate with living things.

 

My dolls are an extension of my characters. 'People' that over the years I have helped to weave lives of their own. Many of them have grown away from my control, so that when writing them, things do not always go as I had originally planned, because it just doesn't feel 'right' for that said character.

These characters are, in essence, little pieces of myself. When I put them 'into' a doll, that doll becomes a representation of them in this physical world. As long as I think of them as the people I have turned them into, they are more than just an object to me. They become something like an extension of myself, or of my creativity.

They will never be a substitute for real companionship, but in these times when I can't be with the one I love physically, they help ease the lonliness. So yes, I love them. I'd like to think that, if they could, they'd love me back.

Now, when I get my first bjd, we'll see how the bonding goes with her.

 

When I say that I love my dolls, I mean it in the most familial sense possible. They're my babies. I might sound silly but if I left one sitting in a precarious position and he or she fell over and made a loud enough noise I'll say I'm sorry.

They mean a lot to me, and not as simple possessions. I posses a lot of stuff, but don't love it all like I do my dolls.

I think of them as family who don't talk or move but still deserve my love and respect.

 

I've questioned happiness a lot lately, so I've thought about most of your points. There are so many bigger things out there, but people "squander" time they could spend making the world a better place by buying dolls, writing novels, painting pictures, going to concerts...etc. If getting on a forum to discuss whether or not we love our dolls is a waste of time, then isn't drawing a waste of time? Listening to music? Writing? Playing frisbee? If we're not out there saving people, researching, learning and enriching our minds and those of people around us....it's a waste. If I don't spend my time worrying about other people or exploring, am I a waste because - ultimately - I do not improve the world around me?
So if I'm a waste because I'm lazy and waste my time on forums or writing, I must be selfish to not worry about others at all hours. And if that's the general state of society... Then what's the point of it all? Honestly, if getting on an online forum is a waste of time; a lot of other things in life must be as well. So if nearly everything the common man does is a waste, what's the point of anything? Does that mean we're doomed?
If I made my life do a 360 and never got on the internet, never watched TV, never played a video game, didn't waste my time doing anything artistic - because it is all a waste - and spent my time always questioning, always innovating - even though that's not who I am - ...then that would be better?

As to the question of human existence... I have no questions to satisfy. I know that we're here, and that's it. So I want to make the best of the time I have here. I want to be happy, I want everyone around me to be happy, and they wish for the same. So if so many humans strive for happiness, then who's to say happiness isn't the answer to all those questions of "why are we here?"

The only thing I wish to do in my life is to improve the lives of those around me simply by being here for them all, listening, and laughing. If I didn't have hobbies, if I didn't have escapes, I wouldn't be right. I'd be so stressed and so depressed that I wouldn't be able to so much as converse normally with other people, I wouldn't be able to take care of them - let alone go out and explore the world's infinite possibilities.

My hobbies, my likes, my dislikes, and those of everyone around me are my infinite possibilities - sad as that may be. Maybe that does mean everything I do is a waste, but those wastes are part of who I am and keep me sane, so I'm really not about to stop.

About the difference between love and obsession; love is love, pure and simple, while an obsession can be harmful and all consuming. Really, though, the two are both love to me. At the heart of an obsession is or was love. Some people just so happen to express love with obsession in certain cases.

And now I've rambled I didn't mean to go off on the meaning of life, sorry! Back on-topic;
I love my boy. Maybe not the doll, but the character. I wouldn't be me without him. And just because I love something that isn't tangible or human doesn't mean it isn't love. And it definitely doesn't mean that I am incapable of loving humans and understanding exactly what it means to love.