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"Waste of Money?"

Nov 27, 2009

    1. I saw some boards on this forum that mostly had discussions of doll-people having non doll-people ask /why'd/ they'd spend so much money, but as far as I saw, there wasn't one about non doll-people saying it was a /waste/ of money~
      If there is, sorry, and mods can close/delete this board~ xD;

      Well, even though I've admired the hobby for years, it's only rather recently that I'm getting into it.
      To tell you the truth, I wasn't much of a doll person before I saw BJDs years ago. Mostly because the way my family/town viewed dolls were strictly as, in plain-man's terms... Barbies.

      So when my mom saw me looking at BJDs, she thought it extremely odd that I'd be interested in such a hobby. Still, I am getting a dream doll of mine for Christmas, and I am extremely grateful for getting him <3

      But, as it apparently is with this hobby, I have actually seen a doll that has pulled at my heartstrings so much I think I started drooling when I saw him *_* The sad part is, he's kind of limited.

      Still, when I showed my mom him she right off the bat said:
      "You know what, these are a huge waste of money!"

      I was a "bit" crushed when she said that xB Not in a way saying "awww so much for asking her for it" but just in general! It was kind of heartbreaking :(

      So I'm wondering... how do all of you deal with it when people say stuff like that, and/or what are your experiences with people saying things like that?
    2. Everything you don't need to survive is a waste of money. Getting a new couch while the last one is still in one piece is a waste of money to me, but for some people their couch needs to match their dog or whatever.
      My mom says it's a waste of money aswell, but it's my money, and she wastes her on things I don't care about either.
      You shouldn't care either. It means something to you so it's not a waste.
    3. A lot of people will tell you that actually. No matter what you spend your money on, there will be people out there telling you you're wasting it. (there are even those who would tell you that buying groceries is a waste of money and that you should dig through the garbage bins behind grocery stores instead O_o) I don't see bjds as a waste any more than any other collection would be. Plus if you decide you want out or just want your money back, most bjds retain their value well. (can't say the same for that shiny new computer or tv that will be obselete in 6 months)

      Now if your mom is buying the doll for you, it's reasonable for her to think she's wasting her own money. It's something very expensive that she has no experience with, knows nothing about, and probably thinks you'll get tired of and abandon quickly. If thats the case then try to make her understand how grateful you are to her and how excited you are to get the doll you're actually getting.
    4. I don't understand why I see so many people saying this lol. Not so much that it's a waste of money, but why so many people are worried about why other people buy somewhat expensive dolls.

      Nothing is a 'waste' of money; the soul purpose of money is to be used. As the current keeper of my cash, I have every right to spend it as I wish, regardless of what other people think.

      People will criticize you know matter what you do, especially when it comes to finances; they've told me that my parrot was a waste of money, my car was a waste of money, my vacation was a waste of money. So far I've enjoyed these things immensely, and for the things I did when I didn’t believe in it just because someone else told me that it’d be for the best, well, I’ve still got the scars as a reminder that I know myself better than anyone else. >>;
      BJDs are expensive, sure, but money isn't the most important thing in the world and if things didn't work out I'll just get up, dust myself off and go on to something else. It isn't as though I invested millions of dollars or peoples lives on this or something.

      As for what I'd say when people ask me why I bought him, well, my default question to anything I ever do is, "why not?"
      I went out and bought a beautiful doll, and I've lived to tell the tale!
      They'll get over it. ;)
    5. My mum has seen some of the dolls I've had and whereas she thinks aesthically they are pretty, she doesn't agree with the amount of money they cost. She says this by raising her eyebrow, by the way! My brother has also shreiked out loud when I told him how much I paid for the Soom Beryl I used to own and did actually say '....waste of money'. At the time, I was momentarily crushed as it's nice if people close to you can appreciate the things you like too.

      All in all, my brother collects vinyl records for his DJing and drives around in an expensive car. And my mum tomorrow goes away on holiday to the Caribbean for 10 days which cost her about half a year of saving for. Each to his own....nuff said! :)
    6. I agree with Snow.
      'Nuff said.
    7. I usually just ignore it XD But it does bother me...
      Ah well, it's my thing and it makes me happy. If it makes you happy too, then don't let it get to you. If you don't do something just because others don't like it, then you wouldn't be able to do anything! Haha. There are haters everywhere, just do what you want to ^^
    8. I think the main reason people say its a waste of money is because, they dont get it. They dont understand it, they see the money and they see, lets say, a designer purse. Which to me is a waste of money. Or those jeans with the tears in them, waste of money.

      My mom constently tells me that my dolls are a waste of money. Then I merely point out her "cancer sticks", and tell her that she blows around 300 a month on something that is making her sick, and making other people around her sick.

      It usually shuts people up if you point out there own spending habits.
      • x 1
    9. To be honest, I can see how people would think that our dolls are a waste of money, not that I agree with that statement, mind you. In fact, I quite disagree with it. My bet is that a lot of people think the dolls are a waste of money because they serve no practical use. While a lot of people spend money on designer clothing, bags, TVs, cars, computers, and so on, they have a practical use.

      There are a lot of things in life I consider to be a "waste of money". But what gives me the right to judge the people who spend obscene amounts of money on what makes them happy. Obviously I'm not talking about harmful things, like drugs, but the more frivolous things in life that you don't need to survive.

      To me, my doll isn't a waste of money because he makes me happy. I can't really explain how he makes me happy, he just does. Maybe I'm too attached, but I enjoy coming home from places and knowing he'll be there for me, just like my dog and my family. Plus the inspiration he gives me is wonderful. My mom thought he would be a waste of money, but when she sees how happy he makes me, it makes her happy too, especially because I've suffered from severe depression most of my life, so seeing me happy is just...not common. So now I think her mindset went from "Waste of money" to "overly expensive". ;)

      I'm sure many people who spend money on luxuries feel the same way. Designer clothing makes people feel more confident, the same expensive make up does. Video games and television help people relax after a stressful day, and so on.

      Unless they or we are putting ourselves in financial danger or developing an unhealthy obsession, I say no one has the right to judge how anyone else spends their earnings. :) We shouldn't judge how people spend their money outside of the hobby, and people shouldn't judge us.
    10. I look at my dolls as art. And as such, they will have varying price tags. But in no way does that make them a waste of money if I adore them.
    11. I don't think anything that makes you happy should be considered a waste of money. I mean, a lot of things aren't really necessary to our lives, like computers, cell phones, books, etc. But they aren't considered to be wastes of money because they are "useful" in our lives, and make life easier. Well if you have things that make you happy, doesn't that make life easier too? So I think those things shouldn't be called wastes of money either.
    12. It seems to me that if someone asks why you would spend so much money on *insert expensive item not necessary for life here*, it's pretty much implied that they think you're wasting your money. Some people just cut right to the chase and come right out and SAY "omg that's such a waste of money," but I think some people are too polite to do that (but not so polite that they can't keep their other comments to themselves, I guess...). That's why I think there isn't a thread, or at least not a very recent one, devoted to the "waste of money" issue -- because when someone says, "Why would you spend so much money on that," the "it's such a waste of money" is pretty much implied.

      I deal with it by ignoring it. I'm spending my money, not theirs, so I'll decide whether or not I'm wasting my money. It occurs to me that if you're going to be in a hobby like this, you have to have a kind of tough skin for dealing with random potentially hurtful comments from people, and if you don't have that skin going in you better develop it pretty quickly.
    13. This is an interesting thing to think about for me. Sometimes I get down on myself for spending so much on my dolls, but then I think of what they do for me.

      They give me something to focus on.
      They give me an outlet for creativity.
      They give me a tactile, calming artistic activity to do (faceups).
      They make me more social.

      I don't have health insurance right now, and I have a few conditions and more than enough bad habits, so when I think of what I'd be doing other than playing with my dolls, I'm glad I have something so "safe". Not only safe in the not-self-destructive sense, but safe because I've been in the hobby for so long.

      So, this is why I don't see them as a waste, and neither do my friends and family. They know all of this as well as I do, so they're very encouraging. I've never been told they were a waste of money - though I have gotten a raised eyebrow or two upon asking for a Christmas gift. :lol:
    14. Nefla: While my mom is paying for my first doll (I'm still in shock over it, really :D) every doll I may want to get afterwards I'll be saving for myself :) Otherwise, I do see what you mean when my mom says they're a waste of money on her part. But still, again as you said, I am trying to show my appreciation... but at the same time she doesn't seem to be interested in seeing how I'm appreciating it xD;; (In fact, she got a little annoyed when I started showing her my plans for clothing, accessories, faceups, and photography projects and stuff >_>)

      I guess really the only thing I can do is ignore it as everyone's been saying (and I really do have the ~tough skin~ to deal with the comments, just this one caught me off guard :sweat), and it is kind of striking when those closest to you can't at least appreciate or be happy that you're happy u__u
    15. The only person to tell me outright that Tziporah was a waste of money is my brother, and I don't listen to him anyway, especially because he has more than $2000 worth of legos and video games. If he doesn't like it, its a waste of money lol
      I just don't worry about it. Sometimes even I think that I'm wasting my money, but dolls are art, and the cost reflects that. Plus they're fun, so why not? :)
    16. Awww, congrats on purchasing your first doll! My parents are the exact same way, actually. :sweat They don't get why I spend so much money on buying my dolls clothes, eyes, wigs, etc. They find it extremely uncanny and a complete waste of money that could go into helping the needy and so on.

      For me, I try to ignore those comments because I still do a great deal of community service and donate all my old clothes and games and toys to charity during my cleanouts at least three times a year. It gets a little unbearable at times because I'm a bit sensitive and take a lot of harsh comments to heart, but the dolls shed some light for me whenever I look at them. :)

      Whereas my parents just treat my dolls as toys or merely more dolls that are like Barbies but as much as 20 times more expensive, I don't really see them so much as plaything Barbies-- I see them as works of art that I channel my creativity into. Not only are the people who make the molds amazing sculptors in my opinion, I think by modifying the doll, I'm building in its artistic, non-monetary value, if that makes any sense to you. :sweat

      Most of my friends side with my parents, however, some of my more open-minded friends who are interested in art do take an interest in dolls, which is a reassuring thought for me. If there's anything that I've learned from entering this hobby, it's that you should be prepared for a large spectrum of comments that may be hurtful or the best compliments you've ever heard. As long as you are positive on your decision to purchase a certain mold you feel incredibly drawn to (aka drool over, haha), then I'd say you should shove away all other hurtful comments and believe in your intuition! :)
    17. Pretty much anything that a person isn't into is probably thought of as a waste of money. I think "waste of money" about a TON of stuff that people buy, but I try not to let my opinions out into the world because it's rude and people can buy what pleases them--and to THEM it's not a waste of money (or if it is, they're more than willing to 'waste' money in that manner).

      So... It's rough when people mouth off about things like this and hurt your feelings. But rudeness is something that most people don't think is bad these days ("I'll say whatever I feel, I'm being honest! I don't care if I hurt feelings or am being rude!!!" is what they say to excuse themselves), so the rest of us just have to call them on rudeness or try and deal with it.

      The thing is, everyone has all sorts of opinions and everyone is different, so people are just not going to agree a lot of the time. We have to try and not be hurt by people who say things that we don't agree with. They are allowed to have their opinions (although it would be nicer if they expressed their opinions less hurtfully--or not at all! I mean, they can HAVE opinions, but it's not always right for them to force their opinions on others--sometimes we'd rather not know!), so we have to just deal with it if people don't like dolls and think they're a waste of money. They often won't like a lot of things you like, like clothes or shoes or music or entertainment or hobbies or certain cars or certain computers; it just goes on and on!

      I KNOW that there are people in my life who think just about everything I do is a waste of money (excuse me for living!), but what can I do? I just try and live my life as I want to and buy dolls if I want to, and ignore them if I have to...! *_*
    18. There's a really great quote from the artist William Morris: "Have nothing in your house which you do not know to be useful or consider to be beautiful."
      Having a doll means having something in your house you love and get a lot of enjoyment from. Everyone has different priorities. My boyfriend thinks a big-screen TV is worth saving up for--I could watch DVDs on the computer forever you. My brother's spent a few grand tricking out his pickup truck. (And they both get understand my hobby because of these very examples.) The only friend who's given me hassle probably spends a Bobobie-doll-worth on beer every month. Most people get this if you politely (or, uh, a teeny bit snippily) point this out.
      For what it's worth, I think I've actually been better with money in general since I got into the hobby. I have a focus for saving up, and I'm much less likely to buy other random crap ("look, these socks have bats on them!") because I could spend that money on dolly stuff. I've also been better about knowing which possessions to keep and which to pass on, and maybe it's just because I'm approaching 30, but I feel like it's connected to my doll hobby in some way. I digress, I suppose, but really I think it's more mature to save up for one big thing you really want, rather than get a bunch of little cheap things that will have broken in 5 years.
    19. Whether or not something is a waste of money is purely subjective. I think clothing that costs $300 is a waste of money, for instance, but those who purchase and love those clothes don't think the same.

      When people tell me that my dolls are a waste of money, I shrug. That's what they think. It's not what I think. We have to agree to disagree; these people and their opinions really have no influence over how I spend my money, and they never will. Although I have to admit that I'm a little hurt by it. But I do understand where they're coming from.
    20. I get this all the time. I don't think it matters so much from outsiders, it's easy to ignore but I think it hurts most from family members. They're people who are meant to understand and appreciate you, support, encourage etc. So a family member's apparent disgust with your new hobby is a big downer on everything. This happened recently.

      My mum had guests over and I wasn't with my doll, I hadn't had her out in a week and my mum specifically asks me to bring her down to brag that i spend that much effing money and it's such a waste. I was asked if I wanted a bratz for christmas by said guest.

      Yeah it hurt. But then i looked at my doll and went 'damn it, I think she's gorgeous and unique. Bar none, In my town I will be the only person to have one like her.' You get over it, name all the many many many positives of owning something you love and worked for and scowl at everyone else who says otherwise xD