What does bonding mean to you?

You might find this thread useful, https://denofangels.com/threads/bonding-with-your-dolls.513442/.

 

I think bonding might be more of a thing for people that write elaborate stories for their dolls or regard them more as personalities or companions of some sort.

I do neither, but keep my dolls as precious pieces of art.

I know that my tastes have changed through the years as to which of my dolls I like the most. I have also had some dolls I did not like or that did not inspire me to make something of them. Once it was the colour of the doll that I did not like, another time it was the face that was not what I expected it to be, so I sold the doll and swapped the head for another one.

These dolls are quite expensive, and they do take up quite a bit of space, so it only makes sense to not keep the ones you do not like or those you grow out of. And sometimes it is also just good with a change. Selling one doll can allow you the funds to get another and start all over again to get that one a face, eyes, wig, shoes and clothes. For me at least, creating or finding just the right things for a doll and making it into what I have in my mind is the most fun part of this hobby.

 

I think for many they are not just collectables due to a) the customization and b) original character/own character angle this hobby has. Also, dolls as a toy are often something people connect more with (same for plushes/stuffed animals) VS for example a tub of Lego. In some cultures dolls are special too.

If I buy a mass produced action figure, there is usually no real attachment/emotional connection aside from "I bought thing I liked, will put it onto shelf".
If I buy a BJD it basically comes with a lot more emotional baggage
That's because often people buy these dolls as representation of their own characters, and people are very attached to their characters and own creations. Working on a doll for a long time can cause an attachment too.

That's of course not true for everyone. Some buy BJDs like they would buy any other decorative piece. Either they like it, or they don't. Or they are very emotionally detached to the whole thing.

While I'm very attached to my dolls, it's for me usually what they represent and less the physical piece itself (i.e. character they represent VS the actual doll). I have sold and reshelled many once they didn't work for my character anymore. So to me "bonding" was really just "do I like how the doll looks in real and does it fulfill its purpose"

 

I second a lot of what @Ara said.

Sometimes the doll just doesn't work out for one reason or other. Yes, they are beautiful and valuable, etc. But if it's to shell a personal character and it failed to match up in real life, then the hunt continues. Some dolls might fill a new role from the ones they were bought for, but more often then not, they just get passed off.

The other factor is inspiration or maybe even the "I have too many dolls" problem. If you reach a number of dolls and find yourself pulling them off the shelf and shoving them in a box for months to years on end in some closet somewhere, that's just a doll with no purpose other then rotting away in the dark. And some collectors feel guilty if they neglect a doll for too long because their interests just evolved to a different focus, they feel they aren't loving the doll enough and would rather give it a new home to have a second love-life and make another collector happy.

For me, I have two dolls I shelled for very personal characters that was a trial and error of trying different heads and body types. They are on the verge of seeing their final form and I will not be adding anymore 1/3 scale dolls to my crew.

In the hunt to shell the girl character, however. I ended up with a RingDoll that failed to fit the part. I haven't bonded with it at all, but feel it could be because it's wearing the wrong face-up and isn't filling a new role (like it's an imposter compared to the other doll that filled the role correctly). I'm going to clean off the face and re-invent the doll into a new role and see if that helps.

If it works, great. She'll stay. If not, I may very well put her up for adoption so someone else can give her a new love-life.

 

There is also the factor in this hobby that, a lot of the time, we are buying something we’ve never actually physically handled in person. Sometimes a doll doesn’t look (or pose!) like you thought it would look based on the photos, which are usually taken in the most flattering light and from the most flattering angles, so you can’t see that the doll has no chin or a wonky profile or a big, bucket noggin.

I do bond with my dolls and don’t feel like they’re just collectibles, but that aside, saying I “didn’t bond” with a doll is a lot nicer than saying something like she had a horse face that I wasn’t expecting.

 

To me, bonding with a doll simply means you feel a connection to your doll in one way or another. Whether you enjoy role playing, taking photos, liking how your doll looks or feels- like that’s your character you had in mind or not.

 

For me it's more about finding a style I like on them and picking a name that fits, then after that they join the stories I tell myself about my dolls. Sometimes I get a doll and just cant find anything, clothes wig eyes, I like on it, even if it's similar to company pics or others owner pics that I loved of the sculpt before getting my own. And sometimes it the proportions of the doll itself I don't like in person, like "Realistic" proportioned dolls with smaller heads an features, I just can't own because I can't do anything with them, even though I love looking at their pictures. Or the proportions just don't look right to me with my other dolls, and then I can't picture them interacting together, and that makes it harder too.

 

Yes, Zeebslemon!!! I can’t be the only one that this has happened to! Years ago, I ordered a doll from a company that I had purchased from before, and when I got her she had a huge, bulbous head! It wasn’t even in the same scale as the first doll I owned from the same company. Needless to say, I did not “bond” with her at all! I always feel guilty when this happens, like I should try being more creative in styling the doll, should have paid more attention or like I was seeing what I wanted to see in the photos. Now I wait until I see owners’ photos before I purchase a doll. You’re more likely to see the sculpt without a wig or from different angles than the company photographs.

 

Whooganana, that’s so true! And, I always feel terribly guilty when I can’t get a doll to come together. They’re so expensive, and I mentally berate myself over it. I tell myself if I was just more creative, or if I could think outside of the box, I would be able to pull this doll together and make it into something I love.

For some of us, I think there is a lot of guilt associated with not being able to “bond“ with a doll!

 

All of my dolls are shells of original characters I've created, so for me, it's more about bonding to the character than the doll. If I get bored or frustrated with writing a character, or they end up not being very important in a story, I lose bond, and even if the doll is beautiful, they have to go. I'm not much of a collector--I feel overwhelmed and crowded if I have too much stuff, and they start feeling like clutter to me, and that stresses me out. I also limit myself to absolutely not more than 19 dolls at a time, so if I'm near that limit, I sell the ones with the weakest bond to buy new ones.

When I bond to a character, it's mostly the same as someone might bond with a character in a book or tv series. I like their story, I like their character, I feel a connection to them in some form.

There really isn't a right or wrong way to do it, though. For some people, their doll's character feels like a part of them. For others, it's about how much they like the doll's look in person, and if they make a nice display piece. For others, it's about enjoying handling the doll. For some, it's about how useful the doll is as an art model, creative muse, photography subject, sewing tool, etc. Not everyone's going to bond in the same way. When it comes down to it, "bonding" is really just a cuter term for whether you enjoy your doll or not.

 

I think there are just different types of doll collectors. Some of them just like to collect but for me personally, I would like to have dolls to have a certain feeling/appearance, and that's probably the meaning of bonding to me. When I send the head to the faceup artist for a faceup, I usually will write what kind of feeling I want this doll to have. However, not everyone understands requirements in the same way. So it happens a lot that I bought a doll I like but couldn't find a suitable faceup for him/her. I ended up spending too much time/money on the face-up so I started to don't like the doll anymore, which is pretty sad.

One doll I couldn't bond with is Dollzone's Prajna. I really liked that doll ever since I saw the head model for the first time. I ordered it immediately but waited 2 years to actually see it since I was studying abroad and didn't get a chance to go home. When I got home last year, the resin has changed its color even though it was kept in the box all the time. I sent the head to a faceup artist later. The faceup fee she charged was not cheap at all and I waited 3 more months for the head to come back. However, the faceup I got was not something I'm really into. In the past 2 years, I bought lots of clothing, and accessories for Prajna, but none of them really suit the style of the faceup so I ended up being very pissed and sold the doll. I'm not mad at this doll at all, and I still like how it looks even today, but I'm just tired of the whole waiting and fitting.

 

For me, "bonding" is a mix of a doll aesthetically working for me, having posability I'm happy with, fitting a character idea and fitting with my other dolls. Though I've had dolls where some factors mean more than others. I've had dolls with the same posability limitations, and found it far more forgivable for some than others. One has a stronger character, or I just like the way one looks more.

 

Like many others have said, a lot of my bonding comes from working on the dolls in some way. Whether that's creating their character, doing their faceup, or both! It's just a really great way of connecting with my dolls! That's also why I've never bought/will never buy a fullset/pre-done doll unless it's a fictional character that I already have a massive attachment to!

 

For me it's whether the doll feels like it fits. if it actually becomes part of the fqamily (or collection, if you prefer that term). If it finds a place among my exisiting dolls (whether it's intended to gowith them or not), whether it pick it up and play with it.

The dolls that don't bond, for me, are the ones I don't play with. The ones I'm inspired to re-dress, or to make things for, or just pose with the other dolls on the shelves.

They aren't "collectables" to me, they're toys to be played with. Yes, they are part of a collection but it's a collection of toys that I happen to like, not items I'm collecting becuase they are collectable, and BJD's are only a part of the collection. So, a doll of any sort that remains sat untouched on a shelf is a waste of both a doll (that could be appreciated more elsewhere), and a waste of valuable space that could be occupied by a doll that I do like/bond with enough to pick up and play with.

It does, however, mean that it takes a considerable time to figure out whether a doll has bonded or not. Some are with me a year or so before they move on because they need some shelf time for me to see whther they're played with or neglected.

Teddy

 

I’ve always been blessed (or cursed, depending on how you look at it) with an overly creative imagination…so bonding with my dolls has never been a problem for me. It just comes naturally, so naturally in fact that if I don’t bond fairly quickly with a doll, I know it’s time to sell and move on. This has been the perfect hobby for me because it encompasses all of my creativity: creating elaborate characters…check! Expressing myself through artwork…check! Exploring fashion, designing costumes and sewing…check! Building artistic displays…check! Coming up with intricate storylines and world-building…check! So all of that creates a very strong bond with my dolls because they become very much like real, fully developed, intricately dimensioned beings in my own imagination. All are on display throughout my home in various artistic vignettes, so they can always be seen. And oddly enough, because of this, my non-collector husband has become attached to them as well. If I ever mention even the notion of selling, he stops me dead in my tracks by telling me I can’t because they’re part of the family!

 

I'm a fairly new collector so I'm learning a bit about this right now. For me, it's the desire to have them out so I can look at them and getting excited over the prospect of making things for them and getting them 'right'. Even if the dolls themselves weren't really planned or exactly what I wanted (Jarrad wasn't the SartoriaJ sculpt I loved and needs a little fiddling with his faceup. Doria has bigger breasts than I'd like, no mobility thighs and I need to soften her faceup) I find myself looking at them and grinning and wanting to have them out even though neither of them have wigs or finished clothing.

I'm finding that I don't have that at all with my Doll Leaves Lan. Which is funny because she was the first doll I ordered, the only new doll I currently own and before I got her I was excited about her.

I guess that in the six months since I got her and Jarrad (who arrived first) I've definitely figured out that I prefer the realistic-ish mature MSD's from things like Iplehouse, SartoriaJ and RaccoonDoll rather than the younger-looking, more stylised ones.

And writing this I'm beginning to think I should probably move her on to someone who can enjoy her properly.

 

A lot of valid points here! To me, they are works of art, and my own work (when it comes to doing faceups, making eyes, clothes, accessories, etc.) adds to how precious they are. It's a big part of it.

I think the word "bond" was hard for me to fully understand at first, and I guess some people have a stronger bond with their dolls than I do. Maybe it all depends on how you see them, and how you display, use or interact with them.
I may not carry them with me or play with them, but I do love and appreciate them, and they make me happy when I look at them (uh or they will...whenever I find space to display them properly ). They're like these beautiful creations that you saw and bought because something maybe spoke to you, and then, once they arrived, you spent time and energy on them, which is what makes them special.

That's why I try to only buy dolls that I really find special, and plan on keeping forever. I would only sell dolls that don't suit my taste anymore or ones that I like less (and haven't customized much), to make room (and money) for others that would match the rest better.