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What if your boyfriend/girlfriend does not like your dolls...

Dec 12, 2014

    1. My boyfriend doens't like dolls either. He thinks that they are ugly, scary and too expensive. But as i use my money on them and still can pay my share of bills, he accepts that dolls are my hobby. Also, his hobby are american made cars, which are expensive too. So, he also spends his money to "stupid" hobby. xD
       
    2. Even though my boyfriend supports my doll hobby, he finds them creepy and doesn't like them being out of their boxes when he's over </3 it bugs me, but I also understand his point since a lot of my male friends are a bit scared of my boys (except for my best friend, he adores bjds <3)
       
    3. Sadly to say, my boyfriend has said he thinks dolls are stupid, creepy, and cost too much money. I only have one doll, and she stays in her box most of the time (although her head is out in a separate light-blocking box surrounded by art supplies while slowly getting her first faceup). As a sort of silent protest, whenever we go out to eat lately I have been running off to the bathroom whenever it comes time to pay the bill. Obviously, I am the passive aggressive type.:evil: So evil. :cool:
       
    4. im the opposite here. my GIRLFRIEND hates my dolls. :) yes im a guy and she hates it. its sad
       
    5. Ssssso what if he doesn't like them? Personally I could care less if my boyfriend approves of my hobbies. Yes, they're all weird and/or nerdy hobbies and I'm hardly into things girls are supposed to be into in my country, but when someone dates you, I don't know... I'd expect them to be ready to accept you for who you are? Otherwise they're not quite worth your time. As such, I don't quite care. If they don't like the dolls they're free to walk, I don't police what they spend or don't spend their money on and I'd expect them to do the same for me.
       
    6. My boyfriend is thankfully very supportive of my hobby (he actually bought me 2 dolls for our anniversary and 3 for Christmas) He has his own hobbies which aren't too cheap either so he understands that they make me happy. He's still learning all of their names though! I think that it's really important for couples to respect each other's hobbies and interests and either partner should be able to spend their money on whatever they like (as long as it's not negatively impacting them financially)
       
    7. To the OPs question. First thing you should do is look into the hobby hes into. Hobbies like video games, bike riding, car customizing, basketball shoes, jerseys, etc.. surprisingly costs more than one thinks. Your hobby happens to be bjds, but once you look into his hobbies and Google search some of things he collects. You'll win the argument.
       
    8. My Partner teases me a lot about them. He thinks they're kind of creepy ('freakish little plastic surgery monsters' was the direct quote), but trusts me know my own budget well enough that I can handle the purchase I make.

      We've finally come to a sort of understanding. We're both gamers, and Changeling is among our favorite games. He's finally realized that my dolls allow me to pretend I'm a Keeper, and that the girls are all my Changeling. It's a bit....odd....but it's giving him some understanding of where I'm coming from, and why it works like it does.

      It helps that I'm pretty moderate. I have 5 dolls, and don't want anymore.
       
    9. There's one thing I feel compelled to mention, because I didn't see it while I was skimming:
      Opinions change.

      When I was getting started, I tried very hard to sell myself on cheaper dolls since I was unemployed, but the one I really loved and really wanted was - naturally - my Iplehouse EID.
      When I told my husband I wanted a doll that would cost $735 after shipping, he blew a gasket. My normally sweet, giving and understanding spouse spent the entire evening raging about how much money I wanted to waste on a toy. It was actually our first fight as a married couple, so it was very hard on both of us. I decided I was going to try and earn the money for my first doll by myself, but he still didn't approve.

      What it really boiled down to was a lack of understanding. Not just from him, but on both sides. You see, my husband comes from a family of poor immigrants. Growing up in a situation where he lived in a perpetual state of maybe not having a home next month made him overly cautious with money and unwilling to spend it on things most people consider necessities. When we married, he owned two pairs of jeans and five shirts because he could not justify buying any more. So to him, me wanting to buy a doll that cost almost as much as a month's rent was absurd.

      Ultimately, my parents gave me my first doll as a gift. My dad was tickled to do it. He said it didn't matter that it was 700 bucks, it was just making up for the 70 ten-dollar dolls I never asked him to buy while growing up. I was not a girly girl. When my doll first arrived, my husband said it was creepy. But when he saw how much delight it brought me to work on modifications, painting and blushing and sewing, his opinion began to change. I told him my doll was no different from his guitar. Expensive, but gives me a great amount of pleasure, even if it's probably not something that is going to advance me in the world. We had a lot of conversations about why dolls were important to me, and I feel like it made all the difference in the world.

      Today I have eight dolls, and he pushed me to get the last 3 because he knew they would make me happy. He gives me money for doll things whenever it can be spared, and he points out objects when we're shopping if he thinks they might work as in-scale props. Sometimes when he sees me looking at pictures of my favorite sculpts, he'll hug my shoulders and tell me he's sorry he can't afford to buy me all the dolls I want, but he'll try to make sure I can have them someday. A world apart from the guy who fumed and snapped for hours because I wanted an expensive toy!

      Any hobby can be expensive or time consuming, but a good starting point is always conversation. It might take some time for you to find something you can compare your hobby to, but I'm sure you'll find something. Doll collecting is an unusual hobby, but no more expensive than wanting to have designer clothes or handbags. Another good thing to try is asking why he feels that way, straight up. It can be a good conversation starter, and also help dig to the root of the issue.
       
    10. My boyfriend is very understanding of all my weirdness and is actually buying me my first resin BJD.
      We would have a problem if he hated dolls in general because I make cloth art dolls. To denegrate dolls as useless and a waste of time/money would be seen as a pretty big personal attack to me.
      Luckily we both like to share our hobbies and take an interest in what the other one does and enjoys.
      That said, he did complain that I was spending all my time on doll research after he ordered Tripp, so I made sure to get off DoA and put my phone away so we could spend more time together.
      We found out early on that good communication, respect and understanding are absolutely vital if you want your relationship to work. I fully agree that you should have a clear conversation about respecting you and the things that make you happy, and being honest with you if he feels neglected instead of lashing out. They don't have to be totally into it, but for your sake, they should at least tolerate it.
       
    11. Wow some outstanding advice here.
      I don't feel there is anything I can add as everything has already been said, but I will say my first partner was nothing but fully encouraging of my dolls. Often buying them jewelery and accessories. He was always amazed at anything I made for them and even did not mind me having a doll room.

      Another partner hated them, they hardly ever left their boxes and were banashed to the attic bedroom.

      need I tell you which relationship lasted longer!

      Good luck
       
    12. I would sit down with him and have a serious discussion about why he doesn't like them. My boyfriend and I did that mutually. He was scared of the dolls and I was tired of seeing his sexy anthro art on the computer we used for gaming. After a calm talk we reached an understanding and came to a compromise. I'd turn the dolls heads, whenever he came over, so they weren't staring at him and he'd put his pics in a folder so the weren't clogging the desktop.

      sometimes its not as big of a problem as they make it out to be. People tend to be a bit dramtic when they feel upset. A little compromise goes a long way.
       
    13. My husband wasn't really supporting me with my doll hobby when we were dating, but now it's all different. Okay, I admit it, he doesn't really "get" the whole idea of bjd as a hobby, but still he's supporting me and even bought me one doll recently. Photoshoots are still my own thing, but at least we don't argue about my hobby anymore. He even said my DZ Fox boy cute :)
       
    14. If someone cant respect you and your hobbies, they can take a hike, imo.
       
    15. My husband was thinking I am crazy when I first asked him for a Doll who cost 800$ XD I was serious but knew the Doll was so expensive I never would get it. 1 Year later I made a Joke saying I want that Doll again. The prize was the same and he turned serious thinking about to let me get the Doll o.O I couldn't believe it, he was serious and after we talked about it he really allowed me to get the Doll. He don't like my Dolls because we have different taste but now he have his own Doll. He still don't like my Dolls but I think he don't have to like them as long he allow me to have them. ;) besides all my Dolls are Guys I think that's why he can't deal with them. XD he just want me to be happy and if it is a Doll who cost over 800$ as long as I have control over my bank account and we can buy the things we need in our household. :)
       
    16. Honestly, if a guy gets unreasonably mad about a thing you genuinely enjoy that doesn't affect him at all? Probably nuts, and not a keeper. No one deserves that kind of controlling negativity in their life. Tell him how it makes you feel, and if he doesn't care how much it upsets you, kick him to the curb.

      I had an ex who was around when I first started collecting, and who was always very nice to my face about it. Later I found out through a mutual friend that he thought it was super weird. But hey, he was never mean about it, and that's all that counts. I'm lucky that my current guy is so supportive -- though he occasionally voices concerns that I may be overspending. That, however, is a long way from trying to control something I'm passionate about, and comes from a place of caring and concern and not negativity and overbearingness.

      Just do you~
       
    17. My boyfriend finds them creepy but he sees how happy they make me. He tries to remember all of their names and even named my most recent doll. He gets excited for me anytime I am doing something with them or getting a new one. I rant to him about my stories and he is interested (or acting interested but that's all that matters.) He is extremely sweet about my hobby. I wouldn't tolerate otherwise.

      If my significant other was against my hobby, I wouldn't be with them for long. It's something that makes me completely happy and gives me something to look forward to. I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't want me to be happy. Money comes and goes. It shouldn't even be about the amount of money it costs. It should be about whether or not it gives you joy in life. There is enough crap in life, I wouldn't put up with crap given to me about my dolls.
       
    18. My boyfriend supports my hobbies but he thinks dolls in general are creepy. I know a lot of people who think that also, so perhaps it's common? He was weirded out when I rescued a handmade ~4 foot wicker doll from the trash at work. (I will admit that it once startled me when I groggily woke up in the night and saw a humanoid figure halfway across the room.) But I'm hoping to get him interested in some aspects of it, like maybe crafting doll furniture.

      Regardless, communication is the most important part of a relationship. Have a good heart-to-heart and carefully explain your position. As long as you are responsible with your funds, a partner worth keeping would only care that the doll makes you happy. But maybe talk with him about getting him involved in some way too? That way at least some of the dolly time could be bonding time spent together. :)
       
    19. I have only expensive hobbies as does he ^^'' haha. And we have a child.
      But my hubby totally supports me. Its what people in love do. I do not understand his hobby at all, Not a science person, but as long as it's dont in reach of our child he can do as he pleases, *or if he doesn't blow up the house haha*

      He buys my dolls, i'm a stay at home mom so I disscuss why I like them with him, why I HAVE TO HAVE this one. or that one. And he helps me make a decision on them. If i take one or two out with me when we go to find something for "the dolls rooms" or for them to sit on or for things to create awesome photo ops with, he will hold my dolls in public while i grab at things. haha.

      But I wasn't into dolls when we met, I was into pokemon, lolita fashion, anime, manga, plushies haha. And if he couldn't tollerate my eccentricities, it would not have worked out.

      One ex told me I needed to grow up and not watch "cartoons" anymore *anime* And i literally threw him out into the snow. He didn't have a car.
      Do not let anyone belittle your hobbies or joys, do not. You honestly need a new boyfriend, you need someone understanding, someone who will talk and not get defensive. <3
       
    20. I don't mind if my boyfriend like or not my dolls, we both have some hobbies we don't share and it's okay. My boyfriend accepts my dolls at home, they are in a display case in the living room and he doesn't care. He also listens when I talk about dollies things though that doesn't really interest him. As long as he accepts it, it's okay to me, I don't ask him much more.