What if your boyfriend/girlfriend does not like your dolls...

It's okay not to be into the same thing your partner is into, but you have to respect their interests and not belittle them. A little kidding around is one thing, but if someone's really making you feel bad/guilty/like less of a person for doing something harmless that brings you joy, them they're not a person you want to spend your life with.

 

I'm sorry to hear you and your SO fight a lot over your dolls. I personally feel like you should be able to like the things you like in a healthy relationship. My boyfriend and I might not like all of the other person's hobbies, but as long as it's not dangerous or illegal, we accept it. Sure, my boyfriend sometimes shakes his head when I receive yet *another* parcel, and I sometimes sigh a little too loud when he's playing videogames *again*, but knowing that the other person is happy is way more important so we support eachother and listen to eachother's rants .

 

My fiancee already knows that if I like something he doesn't, he can close his eyes and not look anymore because if I like it it's not going anywhere.

 

My husband supports my hobby.
He thinks I'm cute apparently...

Probably because I go on about how cute the dolls are, haha.
The point is: We both respect each others hobbies.
Mike just likes seeing me paint and make things for the dolls. I started to pick up making jewelry just a few days ago!

As for the cost: Finding ways to save money on doll accessories is nice. However, I have been taking art commissions and that money is for my dolls. My other paycheck is for needs: Once the bills are paid, I can get maybe one wig or outfit each paycheck. So that way we have plenty of money for other things and I still get to have a little something for myself. We put money every bi-monthly for him to spend as well.

 

My girlfriend likes my dolls just fine. We respect each others' hobbies because that is part of being in an equal partnership. She has her truck and garage hobbies, I have my dolls and crochet/knitting. We also find hobbies we can enjoy together but its nice to be able to separate for a little and do our own thing as well.

 

My partner knows that I collect dolls, and while they're uncomfortable with it, they accept it as something they can't change.

 

So I ran this past my husband. He is not in the hobby himself so I wanted to get his opinion. He thinks its ridiculous that your boyfriend would be stifling your creativity and your interests like that. While dolls are considered a luxury item they are no more silly then video games to spend money on. If your not in a situation where your finances are linked it really isn't his business what you spend your extra cash on. If you have the dough spend it on the things that make you happy. And that is the opinion of someone outside the hobby looking in.

I really think it is important to communicate this with him. Dolls are obviously important to you and a part of your life that will not just go away because he happens to dislike them. It isn't even a matter of liking dolls or not as much as it is respecting your rights as an individual to make decisions about your own life. In a perfect world our significant others would learn about the hobby and fall in love with it and be part of it with us or at least encourage us to have fun. Sadly we live in this one. Try pointing out to him the hobbies that he has and how much they mean to him. Ask him how he would feel if you told him to stop doing those hobbies because they didn't involve you or he spent x amount of money on them. Hopefully even if he never comes to love your resin beauties he can at least come to accept your love of them.

 

If they don't like my dolls, they won't be my boyfriend! I'm super duper open about them, at least half of my FB is doll photos, and anyone that thinks their creepy is filtered out that way and if their not, I make it clear that I'm not here for any crap about my dolls. Their important to me and any guy or friend that is going to make a comment about them is immediately shut down.

I guess it really helps that I'm unapologetic about being the way I am in every aspect, and people that don't like what I do can kindly stick it.

Anyway if you still want to be with this guy, I would make it very clear that your dolls are important and if he doesn't like it, he needs to at least respect it.

 

i had nego and discussed with my husband several times, and we had peaceful talk about them before i owning the dolls.
thats because i know that guys wont like it when they arent agree and you had bought or get them back. so before owning a doll, i had discussed about this topic with them, finally his understanding on my hobby and tolerance on me allowed me to own them.
i sincerely thanks him for understanding my hobby, as in my country actually a lot of people was not able to accept dolls due to horror movie and etc...

so discuss and peaceful talk will results out understanding i hope that you will also get your lovely doll by his kind understanding~!

 

I asked my ex about this when he planned on courting me again after our breakup 4 years ago. Ha. He doesn't care about my hobby but would definitely not waste time or money (or love) for the hobby if he's in my place XD Wasn't pleased with the answer honestly. Haha. But it's not like it should anyway.

 

If my boyfriend would argue with me about a HOBBY, he wouldn't be my boy friend anymore.

 

well.. my bf said no matter how much I spent for my girl is understandable for him. but definitely no for my boys lol..

 

Lol it's because he doesn't want a guy bjd to take you away from him, but females are ok cuz he likes them.

 

Hm, my ex's ranged from creeped out, rude, and flat out discouraging about my hobby. My boyfriend I have now is an angel, he not only supports my hobby but he'll spend time looking at them with me and seems like he'd be interested in owning one for himself

 

sounds like an UPGRADE!

 

My ex was actually afraid of dolls. I only learned this after they saw my room. XD I'm hoping in the future I'll find someone who can at least stand in the same room as my dolls. I don't need them to like them, I just need someone who isn't afraid or creeped out.

 

My boyfriend is fine with my having dolls. He's even decided on a doll he would like to have if he chose to get one and I even got his sister a doll for herself this past Christmas because she likes to sew and she loves the doll. Her boyfriend thinks they're creepy but at least she likes it.
The only problem I get from my boyfriend about them I'd that he'll mildly make fun of them because I will cross dress them sometimes, especially when I only had my first one.

 

Agree with the people who say you should talk it out.

My ex didn't like my dolls and despite being bought from my own money, would look down on me and make me feel guilty for perusing an expensive hobby. We split for other personal reasons but even with talking he still had a disappointed look on his face when I told him a new doll would be arriving soon to the point I would not mention when I bought an extra thing using my dolly fund money.

My new partner thinks they are pretty cool because when you get bored you can change the clothes and eyes to have a new doll. He is not bad with the price because he used to collect and paint games workshop figures and sees it is a similar hobby to that. I must admit, I feel less stressed and do not feel like I have to hide things from him.

It is always good to have someone who will not find a reason to judge you, especially if you are planing to spend a good portion of your life with them. I mean everyone has a quirk or their own thing.

 

my bae said, as long as I'll pay for dolls and their stuff from my very own wallet - it's ok. Recently he even noticed that I've started playing with my dolls again (actually they were lying on the shelf so far).
But in the past I had problem with one friend of mine, who said with trembling voice (when she's saw my SD boy) that 'this isn't normal to playing with dolls in our age and they are creepy, how could I sleep with that in one room' and on and ect. Later she was talking behind my back that I'm not normal if I like that kind of stuff. We are no longer friends, moreover, I'm fine with my bae and hobby, she's on the other hand has alcoholic problems and no man wants to be with her - I know I'm awful human being but she was so vicious, poisonous person and because of her I've lost some other friends. Well, I'm glad that I'm fine ^^

 

I am lucky enough that my fiancé is very supportive of my hobby, and I'm very happy that he even buys little clothes or accessories for my dolls. My mom doesn't like my dolls or my hobby, so I no longer share anything about the bjd hobby with her.


I'm sorry to hear that your boyfriend has a problem with your hobby. I know it may be cruel of my part to say this, but if your hobbies and your current companion clash, you might be confronted with a decision soon. The basis for a good, stable relationship is having trust and respect between the two of you. Your partner is not entitled to like your hobby, and you cannot force him to accept/like it, or to finance your hobby, but if he cannot respect your choice, you may want to consider what your choices are.

1. You can get rid of your ball jointed doll collection to end the arguments over them.

2. You can have a serious discussion where you outline your desire to keep participating in the hobby, and for him to respect your choice without further arguments.

3. You can agree to disagree and part ways cordially. Hey, you are bound to meet another great, encouraging partner that can respect who you are.


Have a heart-to-heart chat and convey your feelings to him. If he cannot respect your feelings or your choices, do you really want to remain in a stressful relationship where he makes you feel hurt and ashamed about the things you like?

The best of luck with your current situation. May you come out of this dilemma stronger and happier than you were before.