What if your boyfriend/girlfriend does not like your dolls...

My hubby has his own collection of retro video games and sometimes spends more money on a game than I do on a doll, so he completely understands why I collect them and supports me even though he isn't into dolls. I wasn't always this lucky though. One of my ex boyfriends was completely against my hobby. He thought it was too childish for a grown up to collect and spend time on dolls. He would make me put away all my dolls when his friends came over to visit because he was too ashamed to have a girlfriend who was into 'creepy' dolls. It was a constant harassment when it came to my dolls. When I look back, I can't fathom why on earth I even dated someone who had no respect for my hobbies.
Personally, I would never give up on something I like just because someone else doesn't like it. It's your money and your time, and you can spend both on whatever makes you happy. If he doesn't understand that, maybe he isn't the right person to be with.

 

Honestly? My money, my hobby, and dolls are cheaper than a shrink. I don't have a lot hobbies that let me be out of the house (reading and writing keep me inside a LOT), my fish keeping keeps me inside, and different shows and such keep me inside. With the limited social stuff I do with the hobby it's something good for me to focus on and allows me to test new sewing techniques without requiring a lot of fabric. Now should I ever get married and the creep factor comes in, too bad. Everyone has something odd they collect or are drawn to and my dolls just happen to be that for me.

 

Thankfully my fiance is very supportive. I had a hard time starting the BJD hobby because I was afraid of the stereotypes about a 36-year-old woman who owns dolls. But the support of my fiance and my best friend thinking BJDs are really cool helped me get over that. My fiance's main issue with what I purchase is whether we have space for it. We live in a small house built in the 1960s. I doesn't have much closet space, and I tend to be a collector of art and artsy things. So his concern about my acquiring too much stuff is valid. I tend to get things first and then only later wonder where I will put them. This storage issue is something that affects both of us, and he addresses it in a loving way, so it is completely appropriate. In your situation, I'm wondering how your doll hobby affects your boyfriend. If it affected him in some way, like it does my fiance, I think it would be appropriate for him to talk to you about it. But if it doesn't affect him, it's hard for me to understand him disliking something that makes you happy.

 

I would just try to explain to him that it's something that you enjoy and it makes you happy. if you spend your own money on your dolls I wouldn't see why it's a problem. Maybe make a budget to spend and time set up to spend with your dolls would help?

 

Fortunately my fiance has his miniatures hobbies, Warmachine and what not, so he doesn't say anything very often. I just got him his first BJD, an Asuka Pullip, since he loves NGE so he hasn't said a word about my spending.

 

My fiance is the same way, having an actual doll phobia. But he's being a real sport about it all, just asking that they not be within view if he's in the same room! Sadly, of course not everyone is the same way. Referring back to the original post here; I describe BJDs as either hit or miss. You either love them or hate them, and when it comes to relationships, well...things could be complicated, especially if the other person feels strongly about them. Just try to get them to understand what this hobby means to you, and how important they are to you. Hopefully they will understand.

 

I would very much hope my boyfriend/husband would respect the fact that I am in this hobby and have them and will continue to buy more. He does not have to be into them, but I at least expect that much, just as I would respect a hobby of his that I do not like/ do not care for. My recent past boyfriend was not into them, but he did support me, just like all of my other friends. So here's hoping for the future!

 

fortunately, my boyfriend is very supportive. he understands that a luxury hobby costs money. This is probably because he is into cars, and that's a very expensive hobby too. We have a rule that if we can't afford basics (medecines, food, TP, etc...) then we can't spend on hobbies. It works pretty well.

 

^ perfect. Get a new boyfriend if he is going to be so rude.

 

I don't own a doll, but my boyfriend is pretty supportive of my interests, and I am of his. He's keeps encouraging me to just buy one and make try to make doll clothes

 

My fiancé thinks they are creepy. But he is always supportive, and I have my doll "area" which I try to stick to. We have a rule that whatever money we make is ours, so he doesn't question my choices to buy them. I guess he tolerates them. He even said the other day that "he is getting used to them" lol Good thing because they aren't going anywhere

 

I don't think my boyfriend likes them but he doesn't object to it plus he is worse with money than me.

 

my bf doesnt like my hobby , he doesnt understand it either.
but lucky me he doesnt complain about it

 

I once had a boyfriend who is totally against the BJD hobby and it really bugs me A LOT!
He would make fun of the dolls and it felt kind of insulting to me. I never get the chance to tell him about it.
Anyway, I broke up with him after 4 months together and it was such a relief!!!
(There were other issues... nope we didn't break up just because of dolls XD)
My current boyfriend is very supportive and he is also a collector... of model cars :p

Point is... if he/she doesn't like it, fine... but I think they should at least be "respectful" and not make fun of another person's hobby.

 

I wouldn't care if my significant other disliked my hobby. As long as there is respect, It should be fine.

 

Oh my that's so horrible. Honestly I don't have this problem at all with my boy friend and he actually buy's me Bjd as gifts for Christmas. The bottom line of it is that everyone has a hobby they love and like to participate in. And that does mean spending money on the hobby. My boy friend and me have an agreement that he can have as many comic books, dvd's, or action figures of the Joker as he wants if I can collect Bjd and have my own hobbies. Everything is about compromising.

 

My boyfriend approves of my collection. He sees them as works of art, and actually is seriously supportive.
He does have his video games that he spends his money on though. And his band stuff. So we both have our hobbies :3


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Most of my doll in my boyfriend is a bit horrible. He is a bit scare by them.
It is lucky that he is trying to accept my doll. Sometime he pose my doll in a funny way and take picture for them ^ ^

 

I'm lucky in the fact my husband supports my doll hobby. In fact he likes them so much he has taken my Iplehouse EID into his office to keep him company. He is willing to replace the doll with another but will have to be a layaway. Since I make a good living working full time he can't really complain about the money spent on the dolls either. I just dont go overboard and I make my own doll clothes.


I'm sorry too hear that others are not supported in their hobby. I think there needs to be acceptance even though that doesn't mean the other person has to like it.

 

My friends are all introduced to the elves in the basement sooner or later. As I'm one of those owners who likes to take them everywhere I go, nearly everyone who knows me has at least some concept of their existence. If a potential mate did not appreciate them, there is a high likelyhood they would be turned down.

While such a statement may sound callous, this hobby is too central to my interests, artistic freedom, and spare time to drop in exchange for someone who won't respect it. After all, if they cannot appreciate something so important to me, imagine what else they might be unwilling to compromise on. The likelyhood that we would not make a good match is only increased by the fact that I collected action figures, mainstream Legos, and Bionicles prior to entering the doll hobby, and still occasionally purchase them to this day. In order for our relationship to work, there would need to be mutual appreciation of one another's particular brands of geekiness... whatever forms they might come in. Not just tolerance- actual support. I would never place a fraction of confidence in someone who only gave lukewarm responses to my interests, but expected me to be enthusiastic over theirs.