What if your boyfriend/girlfriend does not like your dolls...

My husband likes my dolls. Even if he didn't, it wouldn't make me love him any less or reconsider the relationship *unless* he was being abusive or insulting to me because of the hobby. It's perfectly fine and even healthy not to always share the same interests. As long as you're able to talk to each other and respect that whatever the hobby is is important to them, it should be fine. If you have concerns, or they do, talk it out. Find a compromise. I like my dolls, but they're just dolls.

 

I've said this before in other threads, but the only time I've had guys fret over my BJDs was when I was a teenager. As an adult I haven't run into this issue. Perhaps it's because I spend my own money and don't make a big deal about them, or maybe it's because I normally don't share prices. Even when I've done so I haven't experienced much animosity. I'd like to think it's because guys I tend to date play video games (as do I, to be fair) and those aren't exactly cheap. I could argue that my BJD collection and a guys gaming collection are roughly the same price.

The only time I could understandably see a partner getting mad about my dolls would be if I was spending recklessly. If I married and we needed the money for bills...I'd probably be frustrated if he wanted to spend it on his hobbies instead. I could see that side, too. So it really depends on the situation. If I just started dating someone and he told me I couldn't have BJDs, I'd probably laugh. There are way worse things I could be collecting.

 

Our rule in this is simple: If we are working for our own paychecks, and our bills are paid, what we do with the extra money we have is our own business and we don't get to gripe at each other about money.

My SO has said much of the same, but in the end, my responsibilities are met, my bills are paid, I place money in savings. Whatever is left over is mine to do with as I please, and the same holds true for him.

Mind you, bills includes things like groceries and necessities, not just things like rent and the internet and the like. If his job is to buy groceries for the week, but he doesn't and blows his money on new video games, then I get to say something about it. But if all that is accomplished, it's not his business to complain about where my money is going and vice versa.

 

I don't think my boyfriend really likes my doll considering he thinks it wants to kill him lol... but he knows that I like her and plan on getting more so he keeps his mouth shut. This doesn't really bother me, I love the hobby and don't plan on quitting for anyone

 

I sort of used my dolls as part of an ultimate test when I was just getting to know my boyfriend a few years ago. A common friend of ours had been trying to get us together, and I'm not the kind of person who needs to be in a relationship...so maybe I was trying to find ways to justify not going out with this guy. I had about 10 dolls displayed on a wall-mounted shelf, and the rest were chilling elsewhere in the room. Needless to say I was really curious how he would react when I showed him my room for the first time. Right before showing him inside I said something along the lines of, "Oh by the way. Hope you're not afraid of dolls," and then I opened the door.

And yeah. His face lit up as he looked around and he was like, "Cool!" He's always been very supportive of the hobby, I guess I got lucky. XD He knows the dolls by name and would refer to them by name whenever we're talking about the characters. He gets why I enjoy this hobby so much, and in turn he gets me I guess, hehe. It also helps that we both collect arcade machines as well, which is just as expensive if not more, so he understands.

Not saying that dolls and hobbies come first before love, I don't think it's a healthy combination if your partner is that controlling about your interests. Completely different story if money is an issue and bills aren't being paid while you continue to have dolls put on layaway, etc.

 

My boyfriend thinks my dolls are creepy and I spend too much money on them (he is absolutely right about that one LOL)... but they make me happy and it is my money. I think he spends more time on his hobby than I spend on my dolls so no complaints there. He's old and wise enough to know when to stop nagging...

 

that's ok, they don't have to play with them..lol

 

Oh my gosh, that's really hurtful. Have you told him you can't put a price on your happiness? heheh that's what I'd say. But really, if he is being that rude to you something needs to change. That sounds like a toxic atmosphere.

 

They can deal with it! It shouldn't have to be one or the other.
That's ridiculous in my eyes. But if he/she is willing to accept your hobby then great!

 

I would not say this type of issue broke up my relationship, but it was just another problem that my ex-boyfriend and I had. Let's say it was on my list of things that made me realize we are incompatible, and I would rather be with someone who respects my interests and hobbies more than he did.
Maybe it was more awkward because I got into the dolls while with him, and was closeted about it at first, so he thought, "where did these suddenly come from?" But for my next relationship, I can make sure the person is more respectful ahead of time.

 

It depends on just how strong the dislike is, and whether there's any kind of compromise you two can work out. I used to sleep with a few of my dolls, but don't anymore. One reason is because dolls creep my husband out (he blames the movies Child's Play and Poltergeist) so he doesn't want them in the bedroom. Instead, one of the other rooms in the house is the designated doll room. So I can have my dollies, and he doesn't have to see them.

 

There should be a LIKE Button Here!!!

 

If he doesn't like my dolls, he should at least respect my hobby and let me be. If he doesn't respect them and tells me to get them away from him I would just say "go f*ck yourself" and leave him. I don't need to be with someone who doesn't respect what I like.

 

Don't worry what others think, do/collect what you want. my boyfriend thinks this hobby's weird but i don't care, he has a strange and uncommon hobby too so we talk to each other about it and it just works.

 

I don't mind if they didn't like them, I'd just want them to respect the fact that I do.
What I do with my money is my business (Unless I were doing something with it that directly effects them or the relationship) so if that were the issue I'd tell them like it is. Genuine concern for my well being is nice and alright I get that, but if someone is more concerned about my money than what I'm doing with it, that's a bit of a red flag.

As far as opinion goes, though...that'd be a bit different. If they "don't like" the dolls and want me to get rid of them that's tough oyster sauce . But if they're afraid of them or something I'd make a point to keep them out of view when they're around my place. But I wouldn't tolerate them talking smack about my hobbies. I don't have much tolerance for people who think they have a right to what I should and shouldn't do/like.
Some things are important enough in life that compromise isn't a big deal, but I'd never let someone dictate my life for me. I don't think you should be put in a position where you're forced to weigh your hobby versus another person.

 

I've only told two guys I dated about my hobby. They were both really supportive and the last one seemed really interested in them! We aren't together anymore but because of other reasons. If your partner can't accept your hobbies then they obviously aren't accepting you for you. And if they give you a hard time then leave them. Unless you are spending recklessly and it's taking over your life xD

 

I truly believe that your significant other needs to respect and accept your hobbies and interests. If not, the relationship isn't going to be very healthy.

However, if it was a matter of you both being in financial hardship and you continued to spend a lot of money on dolls then I could understand why that would be a problem. They still shouldn't insist that you must sell the ones you currently own or anything like that though. A relationship is a partnership where you both need to work together to support one another.

 

In my opinion, a relationship shouldn't fall apart over something as simple as a doll collection. If it is a matter of financial stress that is causing the issue, that is another story; of course if you have issues with money already buying dolls isn't plausible. But if it is an issue with the dolls themselves, I think that's just silly. They really should get over it; it is a hobby, and just because it is a different hobby than what most people would think of doesn't mean it is bad. That's like telling your significant other that you don't want to be together because they like to draw.

I'm sorry @ OP that you have had issues with your boyfriend over the dolls. That's unfortunate.

As for my own boyfriend, he's been very supportive of me getting into the hobby. He even lent me the last little bit I needed to pay for my doll.

 

I guess you cannot make anyone love your dolls if they dislike them, but they can respect it.
I have a friend who is scare of dolls, really scared, but she supports me either way as long as they re not near her. I suppose it could be the same with a boyfriend/girlfriend.

 

My husband also don't like BJD's he scared of them but he respect my likes!
So try to find if there is other reason that he don't like your dolls except if he have psychological problems or any trauma that you don't know.
And is not then that guy is so selfish and want everything for himself!
and if is that the case...RUN!