What Makes a Good BJD Meet?

That sounds like so much fun!

 

(1) Location location location. Pick somewhere away from heavy foot-traffic (i.e. the busiest section of the park) or heavy concentrations of jerks (i.e. malls).

For public places, always check first whether there's restricted hours, permits, or admission fees to the place you're going.

Pick somewhere that has reasonable access to bathrooms.

Even more ideally, pick a place where you won't be charged by dogs & small children, which can often ambush a gathering of delicate objects without warning (and dog/child owners never seem to want to take responsibility for any damage thus caused).


(2) Don't take everything personally. The person who responds to you with a curt "Hi" may be as socially-awkward and scared as you are, which is why they responded that way. Loosen up and try to step outside yourself for a half-hour.

A nice way to get talking to strangers is to ask something doll-related. Get inside everybody's comfort-zone by talking about the things you DO have in common first.


(3) Whether your meetup is a Potluck or No-Food meetup, either way, just make sure everyone's on the same page about it. We have lots of gatherings where nobody feels like coordinating the whole food thing... It's just easier to tell everyone to be responsible for feeding themselves (eat beforehand, BYO, restaurants nearby, etc).

But it also must be said that nothing brings people together like food. The more meetups you go to, the more you come to crave the habitual recipes from certain people each time (like crpsaiyan's famous devilled eggs & Astro's cucumber sandwiches ).


(4) Activities or No Activities: Again, that really depends on your group. Mainly, it depends on whether you have a serious Den Mother type organizer who's into planning alla that stuff & dragging a bunch of supplies along.

We don't usually bother with activities here for most meetups... Again, nobody wants to plan it. People just like to get together, look at each other's dolls, talk about them, & photograph them. Often, we're in a lovely secluded nook of Golden Gate Park & have just finished off 3 trays of devilled eggs, too, so there's also a lot of just relaxing while being surrounded by lovely dolls. Many of us have day-jobs, so we're happy to just get to play dolls & relax.

If you want to spruce things up, but don't have a ton of planning time, just declare a theme!-- You don't have to attach activities to it, and it gives people something fun & creative to participate in if they want. If you want a little bit of activity, but don't want to go hardcore: Declare a popular-vote costume contest for the theme, or tell everyone to bring their swap-meet stuff.


(5) Maximum fun is a small mini meetup with just a few of your local friends. Eversomuch less pressure, and you don't have to watch your language.

 

I'm really not the type to "take everything personally." Often times even when things are meant maliciously, I don't realize it... I've had people make rude comments about me and not think a thing of it until one of the people with me made mention of it. I'm fairly oblivious, and I like to give people the benefit of the doubt.

The people who sat across from us, I could tell, were just shy and nervous to talk to unfamiliar people. There's a big difference between shyness and rudeness. I made a huge effort to step outside of my comfort zone and talk to people, and it didn't help much.

I'm hoping at the next meet it will be easier to tell which doll belongs to who so I can actually ask about them. They were all just kind of on a table and mixed up, and I had no idea who to ask about which doll, even though there were a few I was really interested in.

 

Yes, that's just perfect! When I was reading your post above mine I got so jealous X9 I wish something like that could happen around my location also. What a great idea!

 

I got tired of trying to find a group so I started one myself. It really is a blast. I can't tell you how much I look forward to our in person play dates. And the enabling that goes on is positively dangerous. Lol. I'll keep my fingers crossed that you find some folks in your area to do this sort of thing with. Or, if you've got on line doll friends that are are close(ish); gather them together and have some fun.

 

I've only been to two or three meets, but mostly they've been doll advice, with a panel-setting. Everyone put their dollies up on the front table and we took pictures...

It was fun, and I learned a lot, but I can't wait to attend a more informal one one of these days.

 

That's a wonderful idea! At our meets, we have name tags on the tables so that you know which dolls belong to which collector. But we don't usually have which dol came from which company, or which doll is which. Of course our meets aren't huge, so we can always ask the owners pretty easily.

 

Thanks for the advice. I actually got the most luck while I was taking photos and someone was looking at MY doll, trying to figure out the sculpt... I took the opportunity to jump in and tell them what she was... ^^ Then we had a little discussion about her body and how it worked and stuff.

I didn't feel too good yelling and interrupting everyone's conversations to ask... Maybe if we hadn't been in a restaurant, and everyone hadn't been at different tables eating. I'm sure the setting has a lot to do with it.

Haiiro and I are hitting up our second doll meet tomorrow, and we're hoping we have better luck this time! I'm feeling optimistic. ^^

 

Kind people, lots of fun and many BJDs

 

Haiiro, CS, I wish you were in Houston

My group and I don't attend many doll meets (three roommates + 25 dolls = live in doll meet?!) but, definitely the cliquish attitude can drive us nuts. My biggest pet peeve is doll meets where newbies struggle for acceptance/help/fitting in. We hosted a good meetup at our house, and someone flat out-rejected the idea of helping a timid newbie re-string her doll. We'd never done it before, but we looked at each other and said LETS DO IT! Ended up learning a lot and making her feel better too, I hope. ;D

House-based meets tend to make people uncomfortable because of stranger danger. Quiet public places are best, but if you plan for an eatery- be careful of your available table space. Our first meetup was a fun trip to Pei Wei with just a few locals, but the saucy food was very hazardous to long doll hair!

If you're thinking about going to a meetup in your area, see if that group (or people in it) has a Facebook group or some other way you can chatter with the people before you go. Check out other attendees' DOA threads before you go. Being able to recognize other people's dolls might make you feel a little more comfortable. But also, yes- nametags!!

 

Lots of wonderful ideas here!

Some of the things that have made my favorite meetups have been: plenty of space including tables, doll furniture or blankets for your dolls to sit on, name tags for dolls and people, and talk at DoA with attendees beforehand so you have something to chat about when you're there.



Linda S.
galatia9

 

Some things said here have got me hyped about my first doll meet, some day... Others just make me want to avoid them even more.

AGH, I don't want to be an awkward wallflower, especially not an awkward wallflower hauling around a doll.
So I have a question to all you long time owners here, who've been doing this awhile... How do you handle where dolls are going about at, like, a public, possibly busy, location. O.O
A meet at someones house I'd feel safe with, but putting my doll down for one sec in a public space, if he isn't right infront of me... *shivers*

I'm kind hoping there might be some small gathering at the next anime con I'm going to... My bestie is in the state for that con, and I'd love to drag her along, and show her more dolls than just my boys.

I guess I do feel less awkward than I used to. Before I got Florian I'd see doll owners chatting at cons and be afraid to talk to them... Now I at least have the guts to walk up and say "Hi, what sculpt is that, can I see him?"... But meets sound scarier, I guess cause everyone probably knows eachother, and there might be an age gap. ):

I like the idea of activities, though. And at least with pot-luck type meetings I can contribute, and get a meal out of it too... Ehh... It's just a shame I AM the type of person to take everything someone says personally, and then obsesses about it for days.

 

I've been to meetups where the organizer will have people fill out little tags about their dolls so people can look at the tags and then the dolls and find out the owner, name, sculpt, etc.

I used to be all quiet at meetups. Now I'll just speak up and interrupt people, asking about dolls!

I've also been to meetups where some people had made up b-cards with bjd info (like DoA's web address), to hand out to people who came by to ask questions.

Basically-- as long as there are dolls and the ability to chat about dolls and reasonably friendly people, the meetup should be a success.

Meetups can take all kinds of forms. Doll-owners are creative people--they do what they want in organizing meetups. And they are all fun if people are interested in talking about and seeing dolls!

 

Honestly a lot of what people are covering here are like some of my fears. Being shy, awkward and stuff. Honest to god I do wanna go to a meet up but because of where my town is the nearest ones in my states are to a point where I just can't attend and the idea of hosting one myself makes me worry about stress. I wanna meet people and show my dolls around but what would make it a good meet would be these:

OT dolls being allowed - That means little Obitsu's, moxie hybrids, that stuff. We don't have to adhere to the DOA rules in real life do we?

Something to break the ice with.

List the do's and don'ts of how to pose your doll amongst other dolls on the group's thread. Like mention: "If your doll is super kicky please bring a chair for them if you have one or sit them where they won't knock over another doll."

 

Like people have aleady said:
- Food, preferably snackable foods as to not take focus from dolls.
- Activity. I really like work-shop-like things, like having people help others restring their dolls, paint face ups, tuck in wigs etc. Just helping each other out.
- Try to engage everyone
- As someone mentioned above; name tags, preferably their DoA name included so you can find each other on the internet after the meet, and continue having contact.

Also, I'd be pleasantly surprised to find people bringing stuff they'd like to sell/trade. That way I can buy things and bring home for my doll that is also a memory of a good meet. AND if someone has helped me restring my doll AND taight me how, my doll will pose better and I will not be as afraid to do it again if needed. This is both an experience in itself, as well as the result in a better strung doll.

 

Ive never been to a meet, going to my first next weekend actually!! Im really excited for it. Were having a picnic. Is it ok to bring like commission stuff to meets? and stuff you want to sell? Im so new to the community i really dont want to mess anything up xD;

 

I think a lot of it just boils down to communication between the people who plan the meets and/or regularly attend them. Obviously newcomers can't always get in on the chats. ^_^

That being said, my first meet-up experiences were with the Kansas City doll group, and they were all very wonderful. A diverse group of people, a "Den Mother" type who got everything organized, and always something tasty to nibble on. Mostly things get planned with that group through the meet-up thread here on DoA, and I was able to talk to a few people about my nerves there, and had people looking out for me when I arrived! It also lets everyone know what the theme might be, what activities we may or may not have wanted to do, etc.

We also had some sales tables [which I know isn't always possible at every location] and what they call the "Dollar Box/Table" which we all donated things to, and the proceeds went to buy dolls and toys for the children at a local battered women's shelter. The charity work brought a lot of us together, as did the cheap goodies! I think the food/sale table activities always got conversations started, and we were all given a chance to introduce ourselves and our dolls before starting.

That being said, I recently hosted my first meet in Indiana. It was completely different, but no less wonderful than the KC ones. There were only six of us - and that helped with the 'feeling excluded' thing, and we all chattered amiably for hours about doll things. My organization was severely lacking, and I learned a lot about what I'll do next time I host, but I think we all walked away enjoying the experience very much.