When does a large collection become hoarding?

From what I have seen on hoarders the real hoarding issue is the mental issue. "I can not part with that doll" for example when the person has many many dolls.
They are unable to sell a doll no matter what. Even if they need the money and are on the edge.

 

What if I had "many many dolls" that were passed down from my mother that I refused to even sell for money because of their value to me? Given how much I love my mother, I know I would get very upset at the thought of parting with a possession of hers that I keep the remember her by.

There can be many degrees of hoarding, some that may not even seem that bad. It only becomes a problem once, regardless of any other factors, the need to collect, the need to hold onto, and the inability to throw away become so out of control that it is damaging not only to the person, but to family and to property. Now it is better to recognize a potential problem before it gets that far, but with something like collecting vs. hoarding, unless someone starts keeping piles of garbage and the thought of throwing away a piece of paper makes them borderline panic, it may not seem like a problem... And then we have people that insist that a large collection is a sign of mental illness, even if the only thing that is sacrificed is some house space...

 

I don't have enough dolls to cause a problem, but clothes are a different matter! Everything's on a spectrum, not everyone who hoards does it to the kind of extremes that makes good telly. It only becomes a major issue imo when it starts causing damage to your health - like, you can't wash because you can't get to the bathroom for clutter. (A few years back we had neighbours who collected porcelain dolls and teddy bears to the extent they couldn't use the bath, or a few of the upstairs rooms. They were reasonably healthy, but when they moved out we helped the new people clean up and there was a dead budgie in a cage in the corner that had just died because too many new additions had been put in front of it and they couldn't reach it : / - that's when you know you need a sort out, I think!)

 

No mother wants her child to suffer due to her belongings.
If you love the dolls - then that is a different matter.
But for example a woman who won't let go of anything in her mothers room... or home itself and goes into debt to keep the home, because she feels the belonging are an extenstion of her mother.

You don't need belongings to keep your mothers memory alive.

 

What you have just mentioned is more of an extreme dependence on possessions. That can be a symptom of hoarding, as it appears to be in cases, however, that is not hoarding itself, just to be completely clear.

 

True there are also many many types of hoarding. For example food hoarding that holds no sentimental value.

 

Uh.... yeah. If it is capable of being possessed, it would make sense that it can be hoarded, regardless of value... I fail to see the point you are trying to make.

 

Do all observations have to have a point? I think not.
Just sharing.

 

No. Not all observations have to have a point... but such observations do not belong in what is supposed to be a constructive debate.

Why would you take part in a debate discussion just to respond with passive observations that in no way tie together and make a point? That completely defeats the purpose of even having a debate in the first place.

 

I don't see the harm in making the point. I think your attitude could be adjusted. While they shouldn't derail into something else, discussions are meant to be flexible, and comments in a 'debate' don't necessarily have to be adversarial to add to the discussion.

almyki

 

Considering that I was being quoted by this person, I think I can assume in a debate thread that a counter point is to be made based on my own statements, and when that is not the case but they continue to "talk," I have to wonder if a point is going to be made, or if this is someone who just feels like talking regardless of the subject at hand.

Apologies if my expectations are indicative of an "attitude" you think needs to be adjusted.

And also, I find it interesting that you use the term "discussion." It has been my experience that debate and passive discussion are quite different, which I can assume is why there is a discussion section and a debate section...

Back to the subject, my point remains the same. There are very few concrete behaviors that can be indicative of hoarding until the problem has blown out of control, or if the behavior is very dramatic early on. And people accusing others of such behavior is only going to do more harm than good, because they are either wrong and hurt someone's feelings, or they end up being correct and the person takes measures to hide the problem. People should not be so quick to diagnose themselves or other people. Leave that to the professionals... they kinda have those degrees for a reason.

 

It's unconstructive to be overdefensive and inflexible in a discussion; your attitude dealing with someone you're trying to hold a conversation with borders rudeness, and I dislike seeing it. Just take a chill pill or something. That's all I wanted to say, so I'll drop this line of talk now. Sorry for the intrusion.

almyki

 

You'd be really scared of a picture of my collection, then. ;

Once more I Say that having a large, very large, or even huge collection of anything is not hoarding. Most often it's a sign of having the ability to indulge in a large collection. If it interferes with your ability to take care of yourself, your family, your bills or your home, then it becomes a more serious issue.


Eta: to Ethra_VII: Yes, you were quite rude to Treelore. since our "debates" on DoA rarely resemble actual debates there is nothing in the slightest wrong with offering an observation like the one she made. sometimes serving up an analogy is the very best way to demonstrate uour understanding of another person's point of view. And sometimes an observation like hers can be just the mental connection another needs to understand your own point. Since the issue is hoarding, her comment was in no way inappropriate.

 

I want to be scared. *-*

Hahah, but no. I agree, having a huge collection is a sign of having a huge collection. That's all. If I see that somebody has an enormous number of dolls, I don't assume that they have a problem of any sort. (Instead I just feel that rush of inspiration, like a little kid looking at an astronaut. "I want to be you some day!" ;D )

As long as it's not causing that person any problems or distress, power to any collector for having what they want, no matter how few or how many dolls that means.

 

When other aspects of your life are suffering because of the sheer number of DOLL you have, it's hoarding. The same could be said for anything.

 

Hoarder is a harsh word.I think once you cant stop and you'r going broke on a non necessity is when you should look in the mirror,and think of those comments that where thrown at you.
As for BJD's my personal limit is less then 10.But that's me.

 

Finances seem to be brought up a lot in this thread. While some hoarders do get into financial trouble because of their hoarding, it is by no means a defining characteristic of the disease. There are hoarders who bring home garbage or cannot throw out expired food, for example. In other words, they don't spend a penny on their hoard.

One can easily get into a lot of financial troubles in any hobby without actually being a hoarder. One can also get into financial trouble without accumulating anything at all (gambling, living beyond your means, etc. come to mind).

Hoarding is a complex psychological disorder which is constantly being oversimplified thanks to the influx of TV shows amateurly and inconsistently showcasing those who suffer from it.

 

Has anyone seen the video of the cabbage patch collectors? While watching them, I was reminded of us a little. They have meet-ups, too... though on a smaller scale; but people do drive to this one couple's house and do things together with their dolls.

One of the owners made a mini hot-air balloon and a Ferris wheel, and they let the dolls ride in them.

Not sure if someone had mentioned it earlier (it's been a while since I was in this thread) but I also hate when the therapist loudly states how bad the house is. I understand that not all hoarders understand how bad their homes are, but I find it kind of insulting that someone who is supposed to be a professional can be like that. It kind of seems like she's shaming them. Again, I know that not every hoarder understands the importance of this situation, but I'm sure some do, and they don't need someone else to shame them if they already feel ashamed already.

 

I think you are right. I guess they do it trying tho shock the person out of their obsession.
Don't think it works.
Anyway, I've been collecting dolls for a good wille and used to keep them in boxes so I never really had a true notion off how many they were. I was always looking for another of the same kind,,, And another.... So that they would have some company.
Some months ago, I got a dol closet. I got one with Glass dolls, wide and deep, so that I could expose all my dolls. Sadly, I couldn't fit them all inside, for they were so many
That day, I felt really bad. I still have lots of dolls on boxes and my closet is full. I stopped buying for now, but there is always one or other doll, "trying to grab" my atention. I never sold any doll either. That is a problem to me.
Actually this debate got me thinking, that I probaly should.