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When Excitement becomes annoying (-.-)'''

Apr 19, 2010

    1. Hi All...
      I wonder if this ever happened to you...It's when your doll friend gets more excited about her/his doll but then she/he starts to determine what your dolls are supposed to be...
      Example: oh, we should make a cosplay of the doll...or, your girl-doll shold be my boy's girlfriend...Even we say no, the person still insists...
      I mean, it's a good idea in a flash buuut, well, it's our doll aaand I don't think it's kind of comfortable when other people is starting to 'enter' and 'rule' our 'property' like this...in the end, we want our doll just as we like

      Umm...i got a little bit intimidated but so far i took it as an idea. period...not more...
      but I don't think it will be comfortable when this person keeps intimidating me in the future...I mean, my dolls have their own character...the way I want to dress them up, etc, IT'S MY CHOICE (as I don't use this person money to buy it...)...
      My other friend experienced the same 'intimidation' from the same person...she said 'no' in a very polite manner but that person seems 'blind' or something...kept insisting...i can feel my friend starts uncomfortable...I told about this to other friend and she said,"hush, hush...go awaaaay from my doll"...haha...It still sounds funny at first but I don't think it is when the person is getting it for real :|:|:|

      I wonder when excitement becomes annoying from your point of view?
      And I wonder, if that kind of pushy attitude can be categorized as annoying instead of excited?


      Thank's for sharing your opinion
       
    2. I think it's more of a personality problem...Not to sound mean or anything. I've never had this problem since for all the time I've had my dolls I've always been the only one with them...so...no one to try to hook my doll up with theirs. But, I can see where it would be annoying.

      Your doll - your character - your money...I mean for all she knows your doll could be some evil killer or something >.<

      I'd just keep politely saying no sorry I already have a character set for them and try to ignore it. I tend to get annoyed really fast...so I don't think I'd be much help.
       
    3. Hmm... I have finally ordered my own doll after pining forever and I have friends that have one doll each. Because of the low number of dolls on hand in our area, it will be difficult for our dolls to interact. My friend most interested in playing dolls with me has expressly stated that her boy's character is about as normal as could be with no supernatural or magical connections and is the boyfriend of my other friend's doll. My boy will be the opposite. Magic, straight, flashy, and has no real reason to have ever interacted with a college kid in America. She has kindly offered to try to come up with an alternate personality for her doll so that they may interact, since there is otherwise such a gulf in their stories it might be impossible. (they don't even live on the same side of the ocean o_0) We like the idea of maybe doing out-of-character shoots or alternate personalities. That way, they can interact and we can use our dollies to the fullest! (I didn't ask her to do this, but I have wondered how I could possibly fit my character in with theirs...I've tried not to be aggravating about it, and I hope I haven't been.)

      I don't know how much this will help since she seems to be asking you to buy/make things for your dolls, but if she wanted pictures and would be less rude about trying to make your dolls the way she wanted them I might see it differently. If she were willing to find a way for your characters to interact or maybe take OC pics with them, I wouldn't see why you were aggravated. But, she sounds really aggravating so I understand why that would suck.
       
    4. If someone's being pushy, that doesn't mean you have to give in. if she's your friend, she'll respect it if you tell her to stop.
      Usually these people don't even realise they're 'taking over' so to speak. Alot of people have this. "You should do this to it!" Whatever the subect may be, people love to give their opinions on it, and sometimes it seems a bit overruling.
      But in the end it's still your doll and you decide what to do with it. So basically, you should ignore her.
      I don't get annoyed when people do stuff like this, because there's no use to it. They're not going to change and there's no harm done.
       
    5. I can understand the excitement of having a doll friend not only want to be a part of the hobby with you, but having a connection with you as well by having dolls that interact, but a good friend will understand that's not what you want to do, even if they are a little disappointed. If you have to keep saying no (even if you have to stop being polite and start being firm, or telling them that if they continue to pressure you into something that you don't want to do that you won't play dolls with them until they stop), then so be it.

      I think it would only become annoying for me if they take a doll that I've already created a name and back story for, and they give it their own name and story, and constantly refer to it by that. But I doubt anyone would go that far.
       
    6. It depends on the friend and it depends how you feel about the doll. I write collaborative stories with friends where the characters are created between us. If I then made a doll of a character, even if the doll was bought & paid for by me, I'd feel that my friend has some say over what becomes of the character.

      If you want to have your doll/character all to yourself, limit your friends' involvement in the creative process. If they haven't helped you name/clothe/choose eyes/choose wig for your doll then they won't feel any ownership or partnership over the doll.

      I think it's alright if two good friends who own dolls let their dolls interact in photostories or photoshoots, but if you don't feel comfortable with it, don't go along with it. Saying no is always an option...and if they still won't take the hint, don't hang out with them with your dolls. Go and do something else instead.
       
    7. This has happened to me. Without going into details, I told her flat-out that it was *my* character, not hers, that I don't put such pressure on her about *her* characters, and that I would appreciate it she'd do the same. She was mad at me for about a week, and she never apologized, but the important thing was that she respected me enough to back off. She still made suggestions, but she wasn't as insistent as she was before, because now she knew that I wouldn't give in.
       
    8. I had been hooked into an RP game because the only BJD collector I knew at the time (hey, we were the first ones here...I didn't have much choice XD) simply started to write my dolls into the novel she was writing about her own doll. I started to play with her so I could at least make sure that my dolls' characters are remotely in character. It was quite frustrating, especially when her doll's character kept hitting on my characters who obviously had no interest in her. It was even more frustrating when she abandoned her own game and I was left hanging in a game that I hated with other players - but so few that I couldn't get out without hurting them, too.

      In retrospective, I should have politely asked in the first place to refrain from using my dolls in her writings. But I didn't want to alienate the only BJD collector I knew at the time...

      All in all - I think politely describing the problem makes both parties happier in the long run. Do what you want with your dolls -but only what you want, not what others demand. Dolls exist to make people enjoy them - not to get frustrated about them. Now I happily do out of character little photoshoots with my dolls and others', because we all know that it's just a short and forgettable play. If someone can't accept your autonomy over things, than you're better off without them.
       
    9. I have a friend with whom I have been doing verbal RP since before we were in our teens, and the characters we "play" with are fairly heavily intertwined, and are also like alternate/non-canon versions of characters that we both are writing novels about. As such, there is some overlap in roles, and it was a bit awkward for a while when we started getting dolls of our characters. We solved the problem by creating our own versions of characters for roles that had (in our RP interactions) been filled by characters belonging to and created by the other person. So these new characters certainly owe some intellectual debt to the characters created by the other person, but have changed, and will doubtless continue to change, as we both work with them.
       
    10. My friends and family don't like some things I do with my dolls, mostly they took issue with the butterfly eyes I had in my MSD and recently my roommate made a fuss about the white zombie eyes I had in my tiny because they were the only ones I had that fit. She found a pair she had that were the right size for me and I like them better so I changed her eyes. My MSD still has the butterfly eyes despite a lot of protest and mostly they like the eyes now or at least are used to it.

      In the end it is my doll and I've told them if they don't like it they can buy a doll and do it their way if someone has gotten too pushy. If its something I don't mind trying, I will just to see and show them, but I let them know that's not what I plan on doing. Its my doll, my choice.
       
    11. There have been similar things in the doll community over here (in my country). It ranged from not watching your doll for a moment at a doll meet up to find it later with restyled clothes and the eyes repositioned because "it is better that way" and degrading remarks if people didn't style the dolls the way that person wanted. Some people even complained that they felt intimidated when they were given clothes that person said their dolls should wear, because getting a gift is a nice gesture and you don't want to be rude, but in the end it's you who determines what your doll wears.
      The people who told that person to back off were the ones who started to feel comfortable again after doing so.
       
    12. I feel I've been guilty of this very thing, becasue mostly, my brain works on improv and I have a very black sense of humour. I had to apologise at a meet I went to because a hilarious joke that occured to me about the rather lecherous pose another person's doll had fallen into was really out of character for that doll, and I think I hurt that person's feelings. I don't mean to GM your characters, meet up peeps! My brain and my mouth just runs away with me.

      But yes, It's a personality thing. And seriosuly, if your friend's behaviour is really annoying you, sit down with her sans dolls and talk about it. And understand that often people do that when they fall for your doll. it's complimentary! They can just get carried away.
       
    13. I never had that problem because none of my friends are into dolls. If I did have a pushy friend I'd just tell them, I already have a character and back story planned out for the doll. I'd say it plainly not in annoyance. You could always suggest they get other doll if they want to partner their doll with someone.
       
    14. Oh~ I had this happening to me and my friend. It happened to me first. At first she was like "hey, we should so do xxx cosplay together with our kids" and I was like "I'll think about it...I need money for them...unless you're sponsoring"

      Then it started to get annoying when she kept pestering for my first boy, Apollo, to be her girl's, Lydia's boyfriend. "But Apollo and Lydia look so good together~ Plus Lydia likes him~!"

      Even when I told her that Apollo is very happy and satisfied with Edward(they're so gay for each other by the way), she still insisted that Apollo's a perfect match with Lydia.

      I decided to ignore her. My friend wasn't as mean as me and went ahead with everything she wanted/pestered. Until it came to the point where the girl actually asked to trade dolls for a month. Luckily my friend consulted me.

      Maybe I'm pessimistic and all. But I do not believe in trading dolls for a month. Unless we know each other personally for rather long. Or know where each other stay. And my friend's kids are OOAk since they've been modded and stuffs...so I don't think it would be wise to just trade...
       
    15. I think I can see both sides of the coin on this one because I'm very very open about my opinions, so my friend often gets comments about what I think about her dolls (usually about aesthetic stuff but sometimes not). But at the same time she's done the same for my dolls so I don't suppose it's all that unfair. We bounce off each other and usually it means we end up with better dolls for it since we get better ideas from the minute conflicts we have. So I don't think honest ideas or suggestions are all that bad.

      However I try to be tactful when the issue of character comes up (I learnt my lesson on that front when we were discussing what to name one of hers dolls). I wouldn't mind people giving me suggestions or constructive criticism but if it got to the point where the person seemed possessive of my doll yeah it would be annoying. So for things like an idea I had to make one of my dolls a twin/brother to my friend's, I made sure I was clear that it was only a suggestion and if she didn’t like the idea I wouldn’t try to push it. In that particular case she agreed and now we’re happily planning it out our boys. ^^
       
    16. I don't have any doll-buddies.... *sob*

      But it's annoying how people pressure me about my own dolls who aren't even in the doll hobby. I have one girl doll and one boy doll, and everybody thinks they love eachother. NO. They're just FRIENDS. My mom sees my Ryu's smile, and his eyes looking at my Soah, and she thinks he has a crush on her. NO.

      I have a best friend who is a boy, and nobody thinks we're in love! (anymore... they did in elementary but that was elementary, c'mon.)

      THEY'RE MY DOLLS AND I DECIDE WHO THEY GO OUT WITH. I DON'T CARE IF I SOUND LIKE AN OVERPROTECTIVE FATHER!!!

      If every doll went out with the first doll they saw, where would we be?

      ............ I DON'T KNOW.
       
    17. Eheh... I'm on the opposite side of the problem - I'm the friend who keeps saying "Ooh, you should do this with your doll!" :sweat But it's like Jescissa said above, my friend and I are writing our story together, so I can't help but feel like I have some say over what happens to her characters. Of course, she always has the option to say no, and I tell her it's ok to say no, but she hasn't yet.

      Guess I just have a personality problem.
       
    18. I've had a few people make suggestions about my dolls. Some suggestions are very out-of-character, and in that case my usual response is either a straight up "hmm..." or "uh-huh?" or perhaps I'll say "I'll think about that." If it got beyond vague suggestions that are brought up once or twice then forgotten--either if the person continually badgered me about it, or if they wanted to do a photoshoot about it NAO--I would politely but firmly tell them, "thanks for your suggestion, but it's out of character for my doll and I'm not interested in pursuing that idea." Don't be afraid to (politely!) stand up for yourself!

      Of course, I would never want to stop people from offering suggestions either! I have got some really great suggestions that clarified parts of my dolls' characters for me, or opened up new horizons for them. So just because I'm the one who paid for the doll doesn't mean my mind is completely closed to others' input.

      ETA: I would probably be more tolerant if the friend was not a doll owner her/himself. I still wouldn't go changing the doll's character in my own mind/photography/writing, but if they wanted to photograph Vasya with a lampshade on her head because they thought she would make a great bag lady, I'd grin & bear it because it's a minute of my life and doesn't really hurt my doll.
       
    19. It's really annoying when our friends required our do that!!
      I do not like it. The doll is my baby and child.
      He supposed to have his own personality.
       
    20. Hm. Me and my friend have very closely intertwined dolls. I mostly let her come up with the plot for them though. We do photoshoots with them and RP them together. However if I ever had a character that just didn't fit, I wouldn't ever just sit down and take it XD You have to stand up to this person and quite firmly say that you don't want your character to be that doll's boyfriend or wear those clothes or whatever. Tell them that they can take photos of your doll or whatever, but they aren't allowed to completely change your character to suit their own dream. If they want to get a boyfriend for their doll and your doll's character isn't right, they should BUY ONE THEMSELVES.