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When one doll overshadows all the others...

Nov 8, 2017

    1. Somehow I feel a bit guilty right now. It really took me such a long time to get my Impldoll Nicolas home. And now it seems I make things exclusively for him. Sure, there is the long-term knight project. But when this is over, I have already two other big projects for him in mind.

      It is not that I do not like my other dolls any more. But I feel so very bad that they just sit in their cabinet and get no real attention, and that I absolutely feel no desire to finish them.

      And my poor Tony is still sitting on his chair, in dire need of restringing.

      Maybe it is just that they are quite unappealingy crammned into that single though big glass cabinet?

      I have even considered selling at least some of the others. I really do not know what to do...I only have 10 dolls or so, not really that many.

      Has anybody here ever experienced something similar? Or is it just that I am over 40 now and am afraid that my life will not last to do all the ideas I have in mind?
      • x 1
    2. I have to do another count, but I think I have about 11 or 12 dolls? And fewer than half of them get regular attention from me. Two are my definite favorites. It's really a thing. I do feel kind of guilty about all these expensive dolls just sitting around doing nothing, but I have to remind myself that they don't mind. ;)
    3. I experienced this to some extent with my Dollshe Saint. I just adore everything about him and he’s the one I always pick up first when I walk past, the one who is most likely to sit on the edge of my desk while I work or hold in my lap during a movie or something. I tried to resist this at first, but there’s no accounting for taste and these dolls aren’t children. Their feelings won’t be hurt and you shouldn’t feel guilty for your preferences changing.

      Give it some time. My interest in some of my other dolls was rekindled after a while, and maybe yours will too, or maybe the next obtained doll will send them even further into the back of your mind. If that’s the case, you can look at selling off the ones you play with the least, especially if their presence is making you feel guilty or overwhelmed.

      The hobby exists for you, not you for the hobbby. If it makes you feel bad at all you ought to examine which aspects can be altered to make the most of your time in it. :thumbup
      • x 3
    4. I feel ya. I have way too large of collection with too many ideas in mind for them, and have been ignoring them for quite a long time.
      Maybe you could set up a schedule to do a small project with each of them within a certain amount of time? For example this week restring any doll that my need it, next week maybe another small project. Maybe even just rearranging them in the cabinet, or changing their clothes?
      I should probably take my own advice on this one..lol. Winter months I tell myself are always a great time to work on doll projects since I don't go out in the cold much and before I know it its Spring. I have a huge project in mind to build a doll house but each time I go into my doll room, which is in such a disarray, I just shut the door and say maybe tomorrow...lol.
      No time like the present I'm going to start a list of things to do right now. :)

      Edit: Havra I love that last bit of advise, so true I need to seriously re evaluate my collection stat.
      • x 3
    5. I feel this way about a lot of various things, not just particular BJDs - but, it's like if I fall in love with something, I must always feel the same way. It's not true - it's natural to move on, and doesn't mean you're a bad owner if your attention has moved on to some other doll. I'd say sell them if you want them to get the attention they deserve, and don't feel guilty about it. Life's too short to spend energy feeling guilty about changing feelings.
      • x 1
    6. *raises hand* I could have written the original post word for word D:

      If you were take a look at my flickr, instagram or other social medias you might actually think I only have one doll. Maybe three. But mostly just one. And that I have only had one doll for the last couple of years.

      Actual reality: i have somewhere in the neighborhood of....possibly 80. I haven't counted lately. I don't need to count because I only ever do anything with that one doll! The thought that if this was how I had started the hobby back in 2008, I might still only have the one has crossed my mind multiple times. Which is silly, since my current obsession was only released two years ago so I couldn't have started with him.

      I have thought of selling most of my other dolls. I have sold or reworked a lot of the ones I thought I cared so much about in the past. The only thing that stops me from selling more, possibly a lot more, is the thought that if this is a passing obsession (because that's generally how I roll), I will regret selling the others - all of which are my OCs - and because pretty much all of them are made of heads and bodies that are discontinued and hard to get at this point, there's no way to replace them. So it would be a forever gone, not just a "maybe someday I'll get X again" gone.

      The thing is, I don't feel much guilt over it.
      There's some, and it's personal guilt for abandoning my old favorite (and it doesn't help that people actually bring it up to me. All the time.), and guilt for having dolls I could sell on when literally all they do is sit there and collect dust....but in the end, they're dolls and they don't care. And life is too short to force myself to play with them when what I really want to do is go grab my Ringdoll K off the shelf again and dress him in a different outfit, buy him more clothes or props and heads to customize into other expressions, work on his extensive bodywork, or just sit him on the table nearby so I can look at him. Because his stupid* face makes me happy.

      So if your one doll out of however many makes you that happy, don't worry about the others.
      Don't worry about anyone else. Count yourself lucky that your hobby is bringing you that much joy because there are too many out there these days who can't find anything positive about it...and that's just not how hobbies should be.

      *I do not believe that K's face is stupid (I love it so much) but the look I modded onto mine kind of is, so there you go
      • x 5
    7. My boy John is by far my favorite doll ever.. He is an identical twin, and I feel bad that the twin gets very little attention, but at the end of the day, John is my go to. I of course have several other dolls, but the twins together tend to outshine them all to the extreme.
    8. I'm pretty much echoing @VampireAngel13 sentiments for the most part. One might be under the impression that I really only have one (or possibly 3-4) dolls, too, looking at my Instagram or Flickr. I actually have 19 at the moment, down from a staggering 37 at one point in my collecting journey.

      I've sold or given away quite a few dolls over the past two years and it really hasn't bothered me to do that. Ideally, I'd like to get down to where I have about 6 or 7 dolls, and that would be totally fine.

      I also feel absolutely no guilt that Tyler (Iplehouse nYID Oscar) is my favourite, absolutely spoiled and overshadows everyone else. Firstly, they are inanimate objects, so they certainly won't mind if I don't give them all equal attention. Secondly, it's my collection and I'm free to enjoy it however I see fit. I'm pretty sure there are lots of people out there who disagree with me on a lot of stuff in the BJD community but, ultimately, I don't owe anything to anybody, least of all an explanation about how I divide my time and attention among my dolls.

      @dezeradoll I can relate to your situation. My Tyler is one-half of a set of twins, too (fraternal, in this case), and he gets way more attention than his brother Michael.
      • x 2
    9. :hug:Thank you so much that you share your experiences and opinion. This really helps me a lot.

      Maybe part of it is that I feel a little bad because there are so many unfinished projects which I set aside because something else, which fascinated me even more, came along.

      This exact thing happened when I was still in the modelhorse hobby. I wanted to do a lot of movie scenes, had a great start everywhere, but got nothing actually done. I have the feeling whenever I see "oh, this actually works, and it takes not much to get it actually finished", then it starts to bore me. Challenges need to get more and more difficult and intricate to keep my interest.

      Maybe I should really get myself a notebook, and write down every of my guys' characters and what I am planning to make for them. Because making and crafting stuff this is what I enjoy most, but now I feel it is chrushing down on me.

      Sure it is nice when you learn a lot of new things and are able to do almost everything you just can imagine - but right now it really is too much.
      • x 1
    10. I feel this way too. In my case, it's a group of dolls instead of one though. I'm so focused on my Minifees that everyone else is a bit neglected. Several of my dolls I just... don't even care for anymore. I don't do anything with my Lati Blue as I don't even like her sculpt anymore and she isn't as fun to dress up as the MNFs. I have 2 Lati Yellow Sp. that pretty much just sit there too. I've thought about selling a couple of them but it seems like a lot of hassle for what they're worth now. I don't like seeing them just sit there though, just because it seems like such a waste to have expensive things I don't even like.

      I tend to switch back and forth between focusing on the MNFs and the tinies (Pukifees, Lati White, Realpuki). I still love all the tinies, but their big dollhouse is at home and I'm at college, so I can't do a whole lot with them. Right now I'm having a lot more fun sewing for MNF because of their size and mature bodies, but a few months ago it was all PKF all the time!
      • x 1
    11. I tend to shift back and forth between favorites. These periods can last several months or years. It's why I keep all my dolls unless I'm 100% sure it's not for me. If I loved it once, I probably will again.

      So, I wouldn't worry about playing favorites. :)
    12. Echoing @VampireAngel13 and @SapphireStargazer - I have 40+ dolls (that are mostly done) and try to do stuff with everyone but inevitable there is always one doll that will steal the spotlight and the money). Do I care? Surely not cause a) they are dolls and b) my hobby, my dolls, my money.

      I see no reason to downsize (even if I have done it once and have thought about it) as all of them make me happy, even if they just stand prettily dressed up in their cabinets. It is nice to come home to.

      And equally as glad I'm about Pazuzu (Iplehouse Violet) cause even if my creativity is AWAY AND GONE, she can bring it back.
      • x 1
    13. I have a favorite too. She'll always be my favorite and I actually like that. I know I'll have her for the rest of my life, even if all the others eventually go. I don't plan on getting rid of everyone, but like others have said, it's perfectly fine and actually good for your creativity that your tastes change.

      As for tons of projects, I know that feeling well, too. I like to make a list and then prioritize projects by what I think is most important to finish, and by amount of time it takes to finish them. Then I start with a few of the fastest projects, whether they are important or less so. That way I have quickly completed a few projects and then I've got momentum to move to the bigger projects.
    14. I have a favorite too! It's not Isao.....this one particular doll just grew and grew on me. He is manipulative, has his way of getting things done his way. I won't sell for any amount of money.

      However, ironically, he is also the only doll who made an "agreement" with me prior to my commissioning of him. He agreed to come home only if I designate him as a charity doll.....should I become terminally ill and can no longer care for him, I must put him up for charity auction, I am not to pocket any part of the proceeds, all must be donated to charity, I must pay for his express International shipping to his new home. That would be my last gift to him. He must be sold as he came to me, a full set doll in original accessories and papers. Moreover, he wants to take his Rurouni Kenshin cosplay costume, sandals and sword to his new home. When I agreed to all these terms, the then Sato FCS F38 Christian agreed to come home. He is my favorite doll, sigh. Strangely, I don't know why he's my favorite. It should be Isao or Reisner.
      • x 1
    15. I'm not sure if overshadows is quite the right term in my case. I currently own 45 dolls. Moswen (AoD Chi) is my favourite and has been from day 1 (he was my first doll). However, when it comes to clothing, Khale (Leeke Khal) is my go-to boy as far as sewing outfits. I'm always seeing fabric and thinking he'd look great in that or he'd like that pattern. He's not even the doll that is supposed to be (one of) the clothes horses that I own. But, for some reason, I love sewing clothes for him even if he refuses to wear certain colours I like and tends to want only white, black and pastel colours. As for who gets the most time with me, it kinda goes in waves and depends a lot on what I'm feeling like. Newest dolls typically get the lion's share for a few weeks/months.

      Everybody in my house pretty much lives in their boxes due to lack of display space and the cat, who believes that doll wigs are actually his cat toys. Sometimes I wonder what I'm doing to have all these expensive/rare dolls that literally don't see the light of day for months on end when the popular idea is to play with them regularly. But, they make me happy when I do take them out to do stuff with them and they're all characters from my novels so the idea of downsizing is not a thing. And I've never been one to follow the crowd or care what others think about how I live my life.

      I'm actually considering adding another doll to my collection right now *head desk*. If I do that, he'll take the spotlight for a while and then eventually give way to whomever steps on the stage next.
      • x 1
    16. Yep, I have a favorite. He gets the most attention while the rest of the collection sits and looks pretty. I’m not selling anyone, nor am I buying anymore. I’ll just have my favorite and enjoy him. Some of my collection got packed up and put away over a year ago. Love them too much to sell (plus they are all discontinued) but don’t want to have them displayed. I have over 30 dolls, and I feel I have too many. It used to bother me that I always preferred just one bjd when I kept buying more. I’ve finally reached a peace with my collection. It wasn’t easy!
      • x 1
    17. I feel that way often, and in the last couple of years, it's been mostly Luc and Lakin overshadowing the others, but Opaline and Charlie are kind of pushing their way in now. Sometimes, I do consider cutting back to maybe 6 or 13 dolls and just really focusing on them, but it seems like every time that I do, I end up buying more again. It's like I feel like I should only keep the ones I REALLY love and let the others move on to someone who would REALLY love them, but I worry I'd regret it, so I don't. It's a constant battle for me.
    18. I actually have a bad habit of favoring a doll!! Hahahah its a normal thing!!! I guess id suggest you to store your other dolls for a while!! ^^
    19. Thats happens~ its like having a favoritism :) but it depends on the person but i have that one doll that when i buy clothes, wigs, and eyes he is always the 1st one to try it on and if it looks good on him he can have it :D
    20. I play favorites, lol. Whenever someone new arrives they get the spotlight for a while. But if I have a hard day and just really need a doll to cuddle, it's my first, Ichabod, I go to. When it snows, I grab Ichabod for pictures.

      For sewing though, whatever girl is newest tends to benefit from my sewing itches most XD

      Everyone gets their turn and I enjoy seeing them around me every day even when I'm not actively playing with them, so even if I don't feel it with a certain doll right now, I could never sell them because they have their spot to occupy and I know I'd miss seeing them there.