When people tell you your dolls are a waste of money...

Its very hard to explain, especially to a girlfriend when your a single straight guy. First question I was always asked was if I was gay. Its rather hurtful but I just got rid of the girlfriend not my girls .

 

When I wanted my first doll, I was still in college but had been working to earn my own spending money since high school. My parents had the initial sticker shock that I think many people get when hearing the price of dolls for the first time. Since they were still paying for my education, I spoke to them about the big purchase. They knew I was always careful with money (probably to the point of paranoia. I get nervous spending $20 on a new sweater) so they were less scared of me spending the money. As long as I kept grades up, didn't do anything stupid or illegal, and still put some of my paycheck in savings, they pretty much said that I could spend the money I earned on what I wanted, including dolls, and now four sit on my shelf.

Wasting money is really a matter of perspective. If all of your bills and such are paid on time, then the money left over is yours to save or spend how you see fit, so long as you're not hurting yourself or others.

 

No one has told me dolls are a waste. I am retired and what I do is my business. My friends have had boats, fish, motorcycles, cars, play golf, show horses and so on. All those are expensive hobbies. Dolls are on the low end of the price scale and can be aquired in much smaller bites. You don't have to put gas in them or feed them. If you should lose interest then your collection can be sold. I do not know how the market value of these dolls holds, but apparently better than a used golf cart.

My husband supports my hobbies and I support his, he is getting into turning wood and stained glass. I have shown dogs for more than 30 years, he usually goes with me and we have driven to all but 5 states to show, I used to fly to shows occasionally. We like to travel, looking into getting a motorhome. All it takes is money, which for most of us, ourselves included, is never enough to do all we want to do. You just pick and choose and enjoy.

All hobbies help people grow and develop. They all have a benefit, be it mental or physical health. All this sounds too out there if you are in high school, college or just out for a few years and just getting your financial feet on the ground. If you are not the one paying for any or all of your college, or your parents are trying to save up to assist you with school, I can see their asking this question at this time in your life. But those would be the on,y persons who could question your financial choices. Why should anyone else be answered, just say: "if you have to ask the price, well .......", or "very expensive", and say no more.

 

I feel its not a waste if someone can spend 800 dollars on one dress or 500 dollars on one belt then I can buy my dolls, that will last more then just a few months, and they make me happy.

 

I don't really care if people tell me that dolls are a waste of money, clearly they aren't a waste of money to me or I wouldn't have bought them! They are a hobby, and hobbies can get pricey. People spend money on what they value.

 

I agree with being responsible with your own money, and that the money you earn is yours to use as you see fit.

That being said, I also think that knowing how to assess any situation is also important. Our reactions to other peoples' words, behaviors, and attittudes are also critical in maintaining the peace if there is some friction with others about owning bjds. I learned that one the hard way.

When I bought my first bjd, it was a $220 Resin Soul 70cm doll. I bought the most economical doll in the 70cm range that I could afford at the time -being a college student and all. I was happy enough to show my family and talk about the cost of my doll whenever they'd ask.

I had worked and saved my own money for that doll because I wanted to see if I would enjoy the hobby, but soon after I began to feel the hostility towards the hobby I had selected, so I learned to say nothing about my doll and to no longer share anything about them with my family- especially when I started buying other dolls. That decision was the most appropriate for my particular situation as it helped me keep the peace with my family.

 

It's easy for people outside of the hobby to say it's a waste of money, because they're not personally interested in dolls, but it's honestly such a hypocritical judgement to make. Everyone has hobbies that they spend money on, so why should this one be singled out as a waste? It's just silly to me.

 

My dad almost spit out his salad when he asked and I told him the cost (lowballed of course...) of a doll I got last year. Most of the time he doesn't ask, and he has his own hobby of restoring antique cars, which costs a bit more than dolls sometimes. And he doesn't harass me about my hobbies so that's good.
I started in the BJD hobby my freshman year of high school (2006) with my first one being a combo birthday-Christmas present (MnF Shiwoo, something like $420 at the time). The following years I worked at a summer camp as a camp councilor making below-minimum wage. But I'd have enough by the end of the summer to say "Mom, I wanna get this doll, it's my own money I made. I'll pay you back." (cause she had PayPal and I didn't) and my mom would go along with it. Though it always ended up being her paying for it, she never took the money from me as repayment. I felt bad about that, but my family is fairly well off (both parents had good jobs), so my mom didn't seem to mind. She doesn't seem to mind now, either.
Now that I'm out of college and have a job, I finally have my own PayPal and shop as want. I'm still pretty cautious with money though, and I try to look for the best deals (I love buying second-hand to avoid expensive shipping and wait times). I have to plan strategically haha. I also still live at home (for free none the less), so basically all the money I make goes towards paying off college, my car, and gas money. So I have a bit to spare at this point in my life, but that could change later when I have more bills to pay for things like an apartment/house.

 

I only have 2 BJDs and I look forward to wasting a lot more of MY money. I have never had anyone tell me they are a waste of money but I get some funny looks. Now I have a whole list of things to say!

 

I have only had one person tell me that I'm wasting my money on my dolls. I simply reminded her of the stripper pole, the drum set, the pink violin, and the purple cello that she bought on impulse and that are all now residing in her attic.

 

Welcome to my life.... It's also hard to be a gamer keeping up with 60 dollar plus games... Also buying new clothes for the girls. My money is like bleh im broke.

 

The same people are likely blow all/a lot of their money on alchohol and club access every weekend, like who's really wasting money here?

 

They could go f*** themselves. They're not paying for my life, so why should criticize my choice? If you don't like it, so go away! Thanks god none of this person in my life.

 

This topic really interests me! I literally can't imagine anyone telling me that anything I do is a waste of money, especially purchasing and decorating my dolls. I've spent my entire adult life with at least one doll obsession at a time, so maybe all my nearest and dearest are just used to it by now.

Or maybe it's one of the perqs of age, that people don't feel like they can criticize you once you get firmly into your adulthood? I'm in my 40s, and the numbers of people who feel like they can judge me get smaller and smaller every year.

 

My good friend constantly told me that buying a doll was a waste of money and that she didn't get. She was at my house after I received my first doll, she noticed him, proceeded to pick him up, and while cuddling and stroking his bald head looked up at me said "I get it".

 

The dolls, figures, kits- nearly everything that is my hobby it is a waste of money in the eyes of many. But I do understand them as I see them wasting their money too. Everyone has something where they just spend money without thinking. Some spend thousands for fishing routes, or whatever else. My mother even calls them "toys" and asks "Have you stopped buying these child toys?" It does not matter to me. It is not possible to make them understand that a doll is a piece of art, like a image, or anything else.
Personaly I think it is stupid to waste money on cars and many other things. But if you buy something your heart will like it is never a waste.

 

That's the smartest, most succinct way to put it!

 

The only person I never knew intimately who basically said he thought my dolls were a waste of money was very fond of the hooch. I told him I thought spending that much money on alcohol was a waste of money, but we're all free to pursue our own happiness! I think we agreed to disagree.

 

Nobody's told me my dolls are a waste of money and if they did my response would be, "When I want your opinion, I'll read it in your entrails."

Teddy

 

Wow! Reading some of the responses are quite interesting.

As for me when I started collecting my BJD family I was still living with my parents, going to college, and working about 30 hours a week. My mom thought that it was the most expensive hobby I have to date, I'm a cosplayer and gamer. Playing video games is the cheapest of them all. She never said anything about spending over $300 on a BJD just said it was cool and wanted one as well. My dad on the other hand thought I was weird but never questioned it at all, he was like "it's your money do what you want."

I've only experienced "your doll is a waste of money" once from a co-worker. Yeah, I would bring my boys to work and people would usually avoid me because my "dolly is creepy looking." But before I could reply and say anything my supervisor jumped in and said "it could be worse, like spending $500 on drugs. Or like your case cigarettes." The person was a chain smoker and would spend $50 or more a week on carton of cigarettes and always complain that they needed to quit or try because of their new girlfriend. I just remember the person nodded and changed the subject, it was great. Later on I thanked my supervisor and asked why he did that. He told me that there's worse hobbies you could be spending your money on and it makes you happy, so it isn't a waste of money.

So my personal opinion there are worse things you could be doing with your money or even your parents money but as long as you're a responsible person who can pay your bills and save up then who cares what others think. Meet other people or talk to other people (like this forum) who won't judge you for what you are and what your hobbies are and accept you.