When people tell you your dolls are a waste of money...

As with most hobbies, cost and expenses are always going to be a factor that outsiders will scoff at because they don't and will never understand the value of what it is to the hobbyist. Whether it is a good or bad thing is up to the individual that is participating in the activity in my opinion. How they choose to spend their money and time to make themselves happy is fine as long as it isn't self-destructive.

 

When someone tells you that your dolls are a waste of money, show them that meme that's like, at least I'm not doing drugs.

 

I don't think its anyone's business what I do with my money. No doll is a waste of money if you truly love it.

 

I noticed that in general the people who get butthurt over the doll price in my life are those who are bad at budgeting or have little idea about earning money (they have it given it to them). I come from a rather not very wealthy family and I have learned since the early childhood how to save up money. If someone gave me a dollar, I'd tuck it into some box where I knew I'd forget it and keep it there for several months. After some time I loved the idea of always having something saved up and couldn't wait to get a job. And often, I was (sometimes still am) living below my means. I mean, there are some things that I just don't need. And if I really, really don't need something, then I just don't buy it. I can do without. I like cute clothes, but I don't need a huge wardrobe and still "nothing to wear!". Often, people who are judgmental about my spending habits (dolls, duh ) are also the ones who shop constantly and have lots of clutter... They buy a lot of cheap stuff, so they don't find it extravagant even if they spend as much or more money than I do, per month.

On top of that, I live on my own, but due to my situation (I don't trust my mailman and I had situations where the parcel would silently end up at my neighbours'... who would have stolen it if not for my nagging to see if they got something... (dumb thing, I wonder what she'd do with a set of high heeled feet with hooks... good luck!) I need others to pick up my parcels. So I rely on my family or friends. After a while I stopped with the second option, because I felt judged. Initially it was curiosity ("yes, this box came in and wow you're gonna open i at my place, wow, I've never seen such a dollieh!"), but later judgemental curiosity ('heh, you must have lots of money to buy dolls... how much was this one? How much were these shoes? How much was this? How much was that?'), so after I found myself having to lie ("It's from a trade, heh"), I decided my mum is the only one whom I trust she won't judge (she also knows I don't overspend and I try to sell things before buying new) and she picks up my parcels despite living 100 miles away from me.

That being said, I don't care about the criticism from people who live above their means and cannot plan ahead and end up with a huge debt and have 'hard feelings' over me spending my hard-earned money on dolls. I don't care when I get criticised by people who, in order to show off, will constantly buy clothes and gadgets and then judge others spending money on hobby... Because you know, they "must have *some* phone or *some* clothes", so it's more justified in the society's eyes than a huge chunk of resin sitting and colelcting dust. Nevermind it's a hobby where one develops their skills and can even become a money-earning artist themselves.

If I could give one advice to myself from the past, it'd be: Keep it to yourself. Some will never understand anyway. Share your excitement with those who can understand it (e.g. online when doing box openings) and don't try to tell the whole world how excited you are over this expensive doll. You don't even have to show it to everyone, especially the judgmental people in real life. Also, know that if your "friend" uses you to feel better about themselves and instead of being happy for you, they're jealous and put you down, but, at the same time, show off with every single crap they get themselves with their parents' money, they're not your friend. So, anyway, just keep it to yourself.

 

Good advice! Hopefully I can follow it...

 

Almost everyone has some hobby, as long as they are making enough money to pay their bills. I personally would rather spend my money on dolls, which I can make things for, than many pairs of shoes, which I don't need.

 

Well I pay my bills and have money for food what I choose to spend my money on is my business and if someone says something about it I will tell them what I believe they are wasting there money on!!!

 

As long as its not running your family into bankruptcy or hurting anyone, i say go for it and “waste” your money on something that brings you lots of joy. As long as you have the means to do it and still pay the bills, its good to “waste” a bit on yourself every once and a while! And i always like to come back at someone and say “well how much money do you spend on (insert something like makeup or takeout or alcohol) a year?” That usually quiets people down hehe.

 

One thing that’s great about BJDs is that the dolls hold their value well. That has not been the case for most of my hobbies...

 

Unfortunately I agree. I play a lot of games with my friends and a I opened up about my purchase of my dolls and the conversation went like this:

Me: so I’ve finally had the guts to purchase two bjd dolls!
Female friend: are those the Japanese dolls that’s super expensive?
Male friend: How much is expensive? And how much did you pay?
Me: about 1400
Female friend: HOLY CRAP! Why would you waste so much money on something like that...
Me: I don’t know, always wanted them.
Female friend: I would never..
Male friend; they look good.


But bottom line, if the hobby doesn’t serve anyone any interest or purpose it’s a waste to them.. my family thinks I waste my money and time on video games but I work hard, pay my bills, have no kids, video games calm me. Video games keep me sane. Anyone who plays games would relate and not call it a waste. Where people who have no interest in games think it’s a waste of time. Lord I can’t even tell you how much that’s common. I’ve seen quite a few collectors on Instagram who make stories and say “my mom came in my room and said if I didn’t spend so much on these dolls I could afford my own place”.

that type of opinion makes people not want to open up about their hobbies and interest. I’m proud to be in this hobby but I couldn’t ever tell a social group “hey my hobbies are collecting dolls”. People are cruel. It’s no shame in this hobby but people are cruel and go straight for the jugular.

 

Most hobbies are expensive, this one is just less common, so it seems unusual. I can say that when I was a cosplayer, you didn't ask others about how much they spent on a cosplay... because it was nearly always an embarrassingly large number. Plus there was the price of the ticket to the convention, hotel stay, food, travel, and numerous other costs that built up. A major issue in the cosplay and anime con-goer community were people who spent all their money on merch and then didn't have money to feed themselves or get home. Repeat offenders would leech off the charity of others, or max their credit cards (if they hadn't already).

Honestly, there comes a point when you realize it takes a decent chunk of money to start pretty much any hobby beyond being a fan of tv shows or sports. If you want to join the dollhouse hobby you need tools and usually a kit to start with, and you need space enough to put it without anyone moving the pieces. Joining the gaming scene means buying a pricey console or a pricey pc as well as expensive games and usually accessories like mics, headphones, etc. Becoming an art hobbyist means getting pricey supplies, as well as possibly spending money on classes or tutorial books.

It's just less obvious to people outside of the BJD hobby, because they hear "doll" and think of $5 mass-produced dolls in the shop down the street, so they're caught off-guard by the price.

 

All of my hobbies are a waste of money. I don't get money from my pets, skull collecting, or houseplants. But as I lose money because of my hobbies, I gain something from it - like happiness, laughs, lower stress levels. I consider it a win-win situation. When I started with BJD's my mom was a bit thrown off by their value, but she let me do my thing. She just muttered that even though the dolls had ridiculous prices, at least I would do arts and crafts for them and that's why she was on board with it.

 

I've been judged more on dropping $300 on an autographed visual kei cd than I have dropping that much on BJDs. Most people that know me know that I am really into art and sewing, so they just think BJDs is just me just getting another art/craft hobby. My partner collects Fender guitars, so it's not like they can really say anything about my hobby being expensive.

 

I’m so glad this discussion popped up. I can’t tell you how many people have told me that this hobby is a waste of money and not to mention, weird. It’s like you can’t even reason with these people. You can show that proof that these dolls hold value (if you take care of them) but they will still not change their minds. At least this has been my experience.

 

I agree! Anime conventions and cosplay adds up so fast! I've never actually thought about how much money I've spent on that hobby but even just considering how much admission is for a weekend... after several years its a lot. Sometimes I just think my mom is pretty flexible when it comes to our hobbies.

Personally, I think people understand my desire to have BJDs more when they realize that there is a customization/artsy aspect to this hobby. I don't normally tell people the costs of any of my hobbies though. I mean, does anyone REALLY know how much my cousin paid to build his custom show car? Not really. We just know it was expensive and that he loves it

 

I used to do cons about once a month, so it added up FAST, especially with the big cons. I'd say that buying a doll is about the price of all the combined costs of going to an anime convention in cosplay--JUST going, not all the merch you'd buy while there. At least with this hobby you can (sometimes) get your money back if you decide to leave the hobby. Trying to sell a cosplay was hell, especially if you weren't an average 0-10 size. Selling anime merch just depends on the merch, but you can never get your money back from the convention itself.

 

I think one of the biggest issues is that people outside of the hobby only hear the final price tag. They hear that someone spent, say, $500, on a doll and think they just up and dropped that kind of money on a whim. Very often, that money represents a significant time saving.

When I was a child, my parents always taught me to put 1/3 of any money I made into savings and I've kept to that into my adult life whenever possible. Through that rule, I've divided my money and set aside a portion of each paycheck (after bills and such of course) to be "fun money". The entire purpose of that extra cash is to be used on random things or hobbies. That money doesn't go away at the end of the month if I don't spend it. Over the years, I've managed to save up a nice chunk of change to use on cosplay, dolls, cons, etc.

People really only hear the final number and seem to have this idea that if someone can spend that sort of money then they're either rich or have poor impulse control. This might come from the fact that these sort of people tend to buy a lot of small things so think of hobby purchases as something people just do, but I'm not sure.

 

I think in this day and age capitalistic society especially (speaking from USA perspective) has taught us that if you are not profiting from your hobby it is a waste. I realized I was getting into a lot of hobbies thinking I wanted to profit and it stressed me out, I use to love drawing then I got so tired of commissions but now that I have hobbies that I can just spend and save for and not worry about value or making something to sell it has been a lot funner for me. I swear everything slowly gets turned into a stock market, whether it is purses or dolls there is always this pressure to profit.

 

I think that's very true! Hobbies that are purely for enjoyment are somehow looked down on. I do cosplay and art and I can't even count how many people keep telling me I should do commissions even though I've expressly stated I don't want to. If someone wants to monetize their doll hobby, that's totally fine! I just don't think I'd be very happy doing that.

 

I just tell them, well good thing it's not their money, that I'm spending. That always ends it.