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When you fall OUT of love with a doll

Mar 2, 2011

    1. I fell in love with Iplehouse Vito a long, long time ago, and it's what got me into this hobby in the first place. I loved him solidly for a year - he was going to be my first doll, my grail doll, my most special doll, if I didn't get him it wasn't worth getting in the hobby, yadda yadda yadda - and everything. Everything! No matter how many dolls I kicked off my wishlist, he never changed.

      But starting from last year I started feeling less interested in him. It became less of a personal interest and more of an obligation sort of feeling - Because he got me into the hobby, I should probably get him for my collection. Whenever I'd have second doubts, I'd just find some owner pictures, point out good things to myself, and be on my merry way. And it worked quite well; just last week I had a dream about me finally getting this doll and having a box opening. The dream ended with me remembering that I wasn't going to have him when I woke up, so I hugged him hard as I could.

      But now that I've stopped looking at other dolls, and am scrutinizing him now [because this hobby IS so very expensive] to see if he's worth it, and now some part of his sculpt I used to love, I now don't love. At all. Things like his mouth, his body, his cheeks. And although the company pictures still stir up some old feelings, I know they're just old feelings. When I turn away from the computer, those same complaints I now have are nagging away at me again.

      But then again, I haven't even gotten my first yet. So am I really just impatient for a doll and am now just releasing that subconscious frustration onto my wishlist [or what's left of it] or is it really time to say goodbye?
       
    2. L.M.A.O! You've just changed your opinion And possibly your tastes, it's nothing to get all worried about! :P Just be glad you haven't spent your money on it already. :) Joshua was on my list for a while but he's off it now. I love his goofy smile but I wouldn't want to see it all the time. I talked wih my husband about it and now Jerome's taken his spot. Will I get him? Dunno. He's not limited so there's no rush. I don't feel anything about bumping Josh off my list; why put all that money on something I might not be happy with? Unless you have a deadline for getting your first doll, relax. ;) Check out a few more companies, wait a little...Iple's got a new storyline out and they may release new JIDs for it!
       
    3. Thanks, I feel better now.

      I AM glad I haven't bought any doll yet - I need this SUPER LONG waiting period to be one hundredth percent sure. It sure seems like it sucks to get a doll, and then sell it right off. So much work...

      I suppose since I invested so much emotion into him, it seems like it's a big deal, but it's not. They're just dolls. As long as I want it, or don't want it in this case, then that's really all matters. Thank you!
       
    4. Tastes evolve over time. You've been (I'm assuming) exposed to a lot more dolls now since you put Vito on your wish list and now he doesn't appeal to you like he did. It's OK, really it is. As silverholly said, you've not bought the doll, so there's not a monetary investment to worry about. And even if you had, that's still just fine-that's what the Marketplace is for. You see people on the forum all the time who have extensive doll collections who wake up one day and realize that they're now going in a different direction, so they sell the dolls who don't fit with their new plans. What we fall in love with when we're new to the hobby can be a lot different from what eventually appeals to us. Keep looking for your perfect doll-you'll find him.
       
    5. I just had that happen to me, that exact same situation. I originally fell madly in love with this boy, and I wanted him for the longest time. He was going to be my first MSD. I was dead set on him forever, but now that I look back, I realize my tastes have changed a bit. Now I'm pining for this boy instead, haha. Though, its apparent that Bluefairy dolls still make my heart melt into a puddle of goo. I still havent found another doll line that appeals to me quite as much as BF. ^ ^;
       
    6. Taste changes all the time... this is true, but "unrequited love" (as you still can't get the one you love) also fades away over time... Maybe it is not your case, but this also could be one of the reasons...

      BJDs are also way too expensive for me and I hesitated to buy my first one... I did find various reasons why I shouldn't get him.... But in the end I bought my first one (Sabik) at the time my "love" for him was the biggest, without waiting and thinking too much... I watched owners pics, I loved Sabiks in some of them, but some of them did not appeal to me...
      But nothing of it could compare the feeling when I got my own, he's not perfect (nothing is perfect), but he's very special, I can't imagine if I ever will fall out of love... if that would happen (I doubt), I guess I would change his style/face-up completely and will fall in love again :P I'm very attached spiritually with my dolls, they are not just dolls for me... they are like part of my family, there is special bound with them..
      But who knows what would happened if I waited too long, maybe it would be the same as for you, who knows...

      I hope you will find your new special one very soon!
       
    7. Sometimes over such a long period of waiting, your tastes change, like others have said. There's nothing wrong with that - there are a few dolls that I used to want and love, and now they're not really that interesting to me. And there's others I used to think were strange or ugly, and now I adore and want them...

      I would say, the best way to tell if its your tastes changing, or you just having cold feet, is to look at the other dolls you like right now. Are they in a similar style and aesthetic as Vito? If they are, then its probably just cold feet and having built the whole thing up into too big a deal, and you should get him. But if the other dolls you're drawn to right now are stylistically very different, you've probably outgrown him and should move on...
       
    8. I think candygears is onto something and offers sound advice. Check out the other dolls you're interested in now and decide if you've just whipped up your nerves over committing to the purchase, or if your tastes have ultimately shifted. I've had a dozen dolls make the wish list and then teeter off the edge after time because my plans or tastes change.
       
    9. I haven't fallen out of love with any per say, but I have pulled a few off of my must have wishlist. I'd like to have Glot/Gloti one day, but they aren't quite needs anymore since I want to work and bond with my current crew more. I still think they are adorable though.
       
    10. This is hysterical!! I think it should just be titled "When you fall out of love" period!! LOLOLOL :XD:

      Ya know, I fell in love with Soom's Spinel at the VERY beginning of my enterance into the "hobby." I said "If I could only have two of these dolls it would be a Soom Spinel and a DOD Shall."
      And since my new love is Iplehouse I have been looking at my Spinel with sinister thoughts of a resale.
      I fell out of love with Shall before I really had a chance to fall IN love with her. :XD: It's just how it goes.

      One of two things is happening, 1. you're telling yourself that he's too expensive and other dolls are more affordable so you're stacking it against him without really realizing it or 2. you have really broadened your horizons in the doll world and he really doesn't do it for you like he did when you were less familiar with all the options.

      There are plenty of fish in the sea they say. So go ahead! Dive in!!
       
    11. If you don't love a doll anymore, then you don't love it anymore. Look at different dolls any find one you do love. I've wanted a Soony for the longest time, then I got Kaydance (my ryeon hybrid, also the doll in my current avatar if you wnated to see ). Since I got her, I don't really want a Soony anymore. She fills the character spot and characteristics I had planned for a Soony.

      Wishlists change all the time, there's nothing wrong with that. Go for what you like now otherwise you might miss out on a doll you'd really enjoy (if that makes sense, for some reason I see this not making sense). My DOC hybrid (Skylar) was impulse. I fell in love with the face sculpt (modded tender too) when I saw it. Actually I almost skipped out on him. I had my doubts, but right now I'm extremely happy with him. Of course a DOC was a sculpt I never even thought about getting, but now that I have him I love him and can't even imagine a doll I'd fill his place with!

      WOW! Long post.........
       
    12. I first saw a BJD online when I was 12. It was a DOD Shall and I though she was beautiful. I wanted any DOD doll for the longest time. I'm now glad I never got one because 5 years later, I realize that DOD's dolls, while beautiful, aren't anything like the style I now find appealing.
       
    13. I think there is nothing to worry about. Because people changed constintly, it is a matter of fact that people all do. :) I fall in loved with my doll for a long time, and recently I just got my dream doll. I found my seld loving it still, but I do not know if I would ever change. If you do not love your doll any more , find him or her a good home might be a good idea. Let someone else whoever had fall in love with it to have a chance to love him or her.
       
    14. I think that actually you're one of the most sensible BJD hobbyists I've ever met :lol: Me? I jumped into the hobby feet first by buying the very first doll that appealed to me. When I decided to join the hobby I said "I don't want any girl dolls" so I looked exclusively at boys and my friend linked me to DoD Si (possibly the fourth or fifth sculpt I had ever seen) and I immediately said "that's it, I'm having him". After scraping together the money, purchasing him and waiting forever for him to arrive... I realised that he actually just didn't really appeal to me. He didn't look or feel the way I expected him to, I couldn't get his character or his look right. Not long before he arrived I fell in love with another doll, this time an Angell-Studio Vera. But I couldn't get her right away so I waited, and pined, and considered it long and hard before finally saving up and getting her and I've never looked back. I sold the Si to someone who loves him more than I ever could but I feel a bit stupid for wasting all that money in the first place, since obviously I didn't get 100% of my money back after selling him, and I still have my Vera, Paige, and love her just as much now as I did when I first saw her. She's still my favourite doll out of my whole collection.

      I regularly fall in an out of love with sculpts - my wishlist is an ever changing and pointless thing because as soon as I make up my mind I change it again. I frequently buy dolls and keep them for a few months then realise that they're not really for me and send them on their merry way. Some I do settle for; the ones I have right now. I can't imagine selling any of them except for desperation money but I know that in the future I will almost certainly buy dolls and keep them for a while then sell them on again. So I really admire your decision to make absolutely certain that the doll you spend a small fortune on and wait an age for is the right one for you. I've wasted a lot (a LOT) of money on dolls I didn't keep. However, the longer you wait the more you'll second-guess yourself so take time and good consideration, but don't forget to take the plunge some time and risk it :aheartbea

      Good luck finding your perfect doll, it sounds like they'll have a great home with you~
       
    15. When I first got into this hobby, it was the Iplehouse Barron and Luts IF that did it for me. I wanted those two more than anything, but at that point I hadn't even bought so much as a toothbrush online, and was really nervous about ordering from the companies. So they waited...
      And waited...
      ...and waited...

      I eventually got other dolls from the MP, and other dolls made it on my wishlist (which grew to rather frightening proportions). And then one say, I remembered how the Luts IF was my first dream doll. I went back to look at her and... she didn't wow me like she did before. Neither did her counterpart, the Iplehouse Barron.

      But since I never invested money in them, I had no problem wiping them from my "to get" list (which is much smaller, and less scary than my wishlist).
       
    16. Vito is stylistically VERY different from the other two I want to get. His face sculpt bothers me now, for the same reason I bumped a diff. doll off the list: both seemed too grumpy. Angry scowls and what not.

      @Ehryn: Thank you. I have to be sensible, because I'm going to college soon and I have lots of other things I want to do that will also require money such as traveling. xD

      And then I want to be part of charities and things like that, so when I think about how much the dolls cost, and how much good the money could be used for instead, it really makes me think about if I REALLY want it.

      I'm definitely too far into the hobby to leave now though. I appreciate this waiting for making me really think hard, since I know that if I'm second-guessing, then there's a good reason for it. I don't second guess because of a lack of confidence or something like that.

      Although I do wish I could stop waiting...it's getting old. -sigh-
       
    17. If you're getting ready for a life change, such as college, (you'll all think I'm terrible and compulsive and enabling): Now may be the best time to buy. If you have saved the money, and you really want a doll, you may not have the opportunity to get one for a long time in the future.
      As for the topic of this thread, falling out of love, that may very well be the case. If there are other dolls you like more than Vito, you should buy the one that you want the most. Vito can keep his prestigious position at the top of your wishlist, and if you find in a year or so that you still wish you would have got him, you still can. ^^
      One of the great things about this hobby is the resale market. You may find a secondhand Vito for less someday, or if you change your mind about the doll you decide to get first, he can be traded or sold. What rings your bell this year doesn't mean it'll be that way for the rest of your life. You can fall out of love with a sculpt at any time, but just like any other love relationship, there are plenty of fish in the sea! Don't settle for canned tuna because it's the first fish you ever tasted. XD
       
    18. I use to think MSD sized dolls were the best thing since sliced bread. Then I bought my first SD almost 2 years ago and slowly I started to like that size. Couple months ago I just upgraded my MSD boy to an SD and I'm not too much of a fan of the smaller guys now.. My taste has changed when it came to size. I have very large "girls" lol and the MSD boy kept getting lost while my SD boy was right at home and everyone could see him without his whole body being eatin. LMAO Also I've sorta started not liking his old sculpt... but he was my first doll and for some reason I can't part with him so I've turned him into another character who's role is minor.
       
    19. I'm probably getting my 1st doll in the summer, and I can so agree. At first I was all over Aurora from Doll Zone, because she was just so lovely and had so many things I liked about her. She's an SD btw. Now she is nearly totally off my wishlist and the doll currently under consideration in Madeleine (Winter Bear) pukipuki from Fairyland. So I think it is perfectly normal to progress to something that is not what you started out with, because if something bothers you about the doll in pictures, then it is unlikely to be any better in reality. :)
       
    20. My first doll was a MSD DIM Benita. I loved her but I couldnt get her to look like the promo photos had looked. I thought SD's were too big for me and I would never own one. Then I bought an SD. Bye Bye MSD. I owned all SD size dolls for a while until I found Rosenlied. Then I fell hard for Beige a tiny. I said one tiny no more. I then sold said tiny to buy another SD. Missed tiny bought her back, then another. Now I want a few more tinies. I still love my SD's and I would never trade them but I can fit more tinies than SD's.
      My want list has changed a few times because sometimes reality sets in and I know I will not be able to afford all those dolls. Then I start thinking well just because I have a list it doesnt mean anything. I can have a list and up goes the list again revised.
      I have also learned just because I find a doll beautiful does not mean I have to have my own. I love Elfdoll's girls and Supia but they are too mature in the face compared to my other girls so now I just enjoy other peoples photos of them.
      I then think I could have two collections. Then I smack myself since I am a full time student with no job. LOL
      Buy what you love, sell it if you change your mind and start again. It is a on going process. I figure a doll that someone decides that is not for them can go to someone who is dying for that doll. I think that is how I got some of my most loved girls.
      Oh, I forgot to mention I used to own boys and they got sent away. I love others boys but never my own? Looking is much better than owning for me.