When your SO makes you feel weird about your hobby?

I dunno. I feel like sometimes we just can't share all of our passions with everyone and that's OK. He tried for a bit but maybe yesterday just wasn't the day. Anyway, it's OK to compartmentalize ur life and not have him be in this aspect of it. I hope you can find a doll friend though!

 

Yeah I understand the feeling. I also wish I had more doll friends. If we were in the same area I would definitely connect with you irl. But other than that I am always willing to chat and hear all of your stories lol drop me a line anytime haha

The fact that your bf and you have been going strong and planning to move in together shows that he is willing to work with you and there is room to hear about your girls sometimes. That's a positive

 

I think he should definitely show an interest in your dolls. It could have just been an off day for him, but if he always shuns or ignores the topic then I'd say take a closer look at the dynamic of your relationship. Does he do this with other things you're interested in and he's not? This goes beyond dolls and into whether what your partner can provide is enough for you or not. Some people just aren't supportive, whilst others need that enthusiasm and support around them.

 

I think a good partner or friend will respect your interest and let you share some excitement, but I also understand how it could get annoying to them if it's constant. I also like to share my excitement with my husband, and he'll look at things I make and critique them, help me with ideas and character development, sometimes ask about what I'm doing. He's nicknamed Dhani "Harry Styles", which is cute. But he gets bored of them too sometimes, and just needs to take a break. It's okay, though. I feel the same about his gaming. I'll get excited with him when he defeats a really tough boss or ranks really high or something, but when he starts going into deep details about everything, I start to zone out. I don't mean to ignore him but when he's talking about crits and achievements and farming and I don't even know what else, I'm lost, and not interested enough to ask questions.....similar to how he can like my dolls at face value, but when I start talking about Senior Delf body type 4, urethane eyes, and SD10 size for example, I lose him.

I think this is probably common for lot of relationships and friendships where people don't share hobbies. I would recommend talking to your partner about how you feel, but also discuss where to draw the line between sharing excitement and rambling on and on about obsessions.

 

Well, my husband is super thrifty. He doesn't collect or buy expensive things, and he doesn't really understand why anyone else would. He wouldn't say it unless I really pushed him, which I won't, but I know he thinks the dolls are a huge waste of money. But, I knew all of this about him years before we started dating and got married. I also didn't have dolls until several years after we married.

I don't care. I mean I'd like it better if he liked them, but they are such a small part of life, just a hobby for me So, I deal with it.

We compromise. I don't spend family money for dolls. He will listen to me talk about them ten minutes a day without complaint, lol. Yes, we did actually agree on a time.

If I ever get my feelings hurt, I remember how he is a wonderful husband and father who has almost infinite patience with me. I know that he wants me to be happy, and he tolerates something so alien to him because of that. Pretty much everything he does is to make our family happy and secure. And that is more important to me than the fact he only tolerates my dolls.

 

I dated a guy who was super into football. I have ZERO interest in most sports including that one. He would go on for hours if you let him about games, teams, players etc. He would forget that I wasn't a fan sometimes and go into a whole monologue about his team. Sometimes it went on so long I couldn't help it. I'd try to be polite for a while but eventually I'd yawn and smile and do my best to change the subject. He'd get it, that he's bored me sleepy and laugh, and usually he'd sheepishly apologize for going on and on because he knew that football just wasn't my thing at all.

Being outright disrespectful of someone's "thing" is rude but you can't just force an interest sometimes where there is none. I would not expect a SO who found dolls creepy to want to talk about them with me and I probably would not expect him to. So long as he wasn't charging into the space where I keep my dolls and complaining about them, didn't touch them or try to get rid of them when I wasn't looking I'd understand him not liking them or not wanting to be around them. If I was at his place and it was a game day I used to leave when the game were on or go off and do my own thing so that guy could hang out with his friends and watch the game. He in turn would let me go out and do my own thing and didn't bother me about it.

People have different interests. It would be nice if he could support yours more enthusiastically but it sounds like he has very little interest and actually abhors dolls. Better to save all the doll talk for places like this or for times with people who actually get your love for BJD's. Talking to someone who just doesn't, well, it's just not worth it IMHO. Find someone who cares and bend their ear instead. While you are with him find common things you like and talk about that...

 

I'm lucky enough to be in a relationship where we both enjoy dolls...

My take on the situation is that I think you should definitely sit with him and explain how much the dolls mean to you. It's not necessary that he enjoy them... but if you two are going to last long term, it's 100% necessary that he can at least tolerate them. Be sure that your dolls aren't going to be a problem for him in the long term and I'd say just try to limit the super enthusiastic talk about them with him. As a doll person I understand the anticipation for new doll stuff but being human, if someone went on about something I had no clue or interest in, I'd probably react the same way he did. I know dolls are probably on your mind a lot but there are definitely a multitude of things partners can talk about ^^

 

If only my SO had a full time job xD

 

It would be nice if he could show just a little interest. I also tend to talk to my boyfriend a lot about dolls. He is good at listening to me and looking at the dolls and giving his thoughts even though he himself doesn't care for the hobby. Though I have three now and he has accepted that he is "dad" and helps care for them when I have them around him. We both try to show interest in each others hobby. His being his car and music and mine being dolls and who knows what else. Thought there are times when he too sounds a bit like a jerk. Specifically when I talk about Doll Chateau dolls. I personally love these dolls and have three on my wish list but he doesn't really care for them. So whenever I get excited to see a box opening for one of the dolls and go to show him he makes somewhat rude remarks along the line of "That doll is ugly". It makes me not want to talk to him at all about the dolls or feel awkward for liking them as much as I do. What I ended up doing was telling him how much I just like the dolls and why and made him understand my interest in them were not going to go away. He seem to have come to an understanding about it and though he still says they are not as appealing as other dolls when I get to pouting because I'm so far from my goal to get one he has started to encourage me to keep going.

 

Thankfully I don't believe anything about this hobby makes my SO feel weird. My SO isn't into dolls; his main hobby is competitive shooting. His hobby is also very expensive if you want to do it right, and on that hand we do have a mutual understanding. We are both involved in each other's hobbies, and we don't mind hearing about what the other one has planned. We even laugh about it sometimes because both shooting guns and collecting dolls seems so stereotypical of hobbies that weird people out because they don't understand them. My SO is always super nice, polite, and supportive of anything I want to do, and I wouldn't have half of the dolls I do without his help and encouragement.

 

I feel like my significant other would have to at least be okay with dolls. I already hate it when some of my friends will spout on and on about how creepy they are. Some genuine interest would be wonderful. With an open mind, the person could even want to start collecting.

 

When it comes to significant others, I don't expect them to share interests with me. My hobbies are dolls, cats, and aquarium keeping - my husband is into soccer, movies, and recreational shooting. We've got no overlap, but we never ever talk bad about each other's hobbies. It's not even about the hobbies themselves, it's a matter of respect towards your partner. I know jack-all about soccer, much less any sport, but I would never be like "soccer is stupid" because I know he loves it. I'm on a hunt for a very specific and difficult to find catfish, I've been calling aquarium shops all over the state for a month, but never has he said "it's just a fish" or implied I'm being weird, because he knows how much it means to me. When you're in a long-term relationship, you have to respect each other.

Unless it's a dealbreaker for him entirely (for example, I'm a vegetarian tree hugger and I could never be with someone who hunted wildlife for fun) he, as your boyfriend, should at least respect how much you love the dolls. And if it is a dealbreaker for him, then he needs to be an adult and say so, instead of this juvenile "ew gross" nonsense.

 

Personally, if I had an SO, I'd prefer someone who feels comfortable enough with me to be frank about their feelings; so if they think a doll is ugly or creepy or they don't like the hobby, they can say so. 'Ew' would be no big deal, if they're just saying their thoughts, because I don't like relationships where either party feels like they can only say positive things. If it really was a big deal, I'd want to feel comfortable enough with my partner to just say 'I don't like that' right back and ask or tell them not to diss my doll/hobby. If someone just kept going and going to the point of negativity/nagging, that's crossed the line, but a negative comment here or there wouldn't make me feel insecure about our relationship. At least, I should hope!

But it's different for all people and relationships. My father is the type who will usually humor my mother and let her talk about things I know he doesn't really care about for ages, though even he has limits to his patience. She does the same for him, but he's the type of person that tries not to talk about things he knows the other person isn't interested in and reads the mood.

I don't discuss dolls almost at all to anybody who shows 0 interest, and definitely not to anybody who has expressed discomfort with them. Isn't it a bit rude in that case? He's a very important person to you, so wanting to share the highlights of your hobby would be understandable, but more than a couple minutes at a time seems overboard if you know he dislikes them. Try to find other people, online groups or something to share with instead.

 

I was once such a situation, but I was embarrassed that "playing with dolls."
Now this is not. If someone does not like my hobby, it is only their opinion and it does not interest me.
In short, the so-)))

 

I'm sure my SO thought it was weird at first. I kept it hush hush for a while, and when I finally told them, they thought they were cool looking. But then they saw the price tag...

Months and months later, they're completely supportive, love to hear me talk about them (or at least pretend to), and they draw my characters for me