why are doll collectors so "creepy"

Unfortunatley I have a 'baby face' and people seem to find it adorable that I collect BJDs. I'd rather be called creepy, honestly.

 

Talking about a thing like a doll as if it were a person definitely doesn't come naturally to me. I'm still a little weirded out by it after 9 years.

 

While I am not the creepiest of the creepies, I would definitely define myself as someone who refers to their dolls as individuals with personalities.

I mean, I see them as dolls. I can sell them, for the most part, if I needed the funds. They are not my children. Soapbubble's pyramid nearly describes my situation, though I'd lump dolls in with important objects and such.

As someone who is both inside the "creepy" demographic and detached enough to step outside it and examine it, I want to offer up this explanation:

For a lot of collectors, the dolls either become OCs or are bought with the intention of shelling those OCs. The thing about OCs is... they're our own characters. They exist within us, they are a reflection of us, a fragment no matter how small. BJDs are, in some form, a way for us to interact with our fictional characters outside of our heads.
Even for those of us who do not create characters or write or anything, there is a need to imbue some sort of personality onto our doll. On a basic level, we come up with some bits of that personality while we conceptualize the doll's look -- it helps us to pick out clothes, eyes, wigs, and accessories. Whether we are simply projecting parts of who we are on the doll, or giving the doll traits we wish we had, we are making that doll a character. And it does, over time, develop a personality.
All my dolls are based on characters of mine which have their own stories of varying complexity. I do jokingly blame their unwillingness to sit/stand/pose on their attitude or dislike of a situation, and I like verbally coaxing them into behaving for photos. But I feel a much deeper connection with them regardless, beyond that of a normal figurine. And talking to them, like how I talk to my cat or to a baby, brings me comfort. Maybe it's because -- as I said before -- my OCs are inside those resin shells, and my OCs are parts of me.

But I do agree that many of the hobbyists in our slice of money-and-time-well-spent have evolved into something different than hobbyists elsewhere. I've never seen this level of personification in any other hobby, and I hang out with some extreme collectors/admirers of other things. I have to say that it's because of the creative space BJDs exist within: writers are attracted to them, artists are attracted to them, people eager to express themselves in some form are attracted to them. It's a hobby that unites almost every single type of artist I can think of, (even those of us who don't think of ourselves as artists ~_^ ) so it naturally evolved to be... this. And this isn't creepy. As Phil from Better Off Ted once said: "It becomes normal if you keep doing it. Everything does." Hah!

I know not all collectors of BJDs do this, though. Some people buy them as figurines and keep their names and default outfits and everything. But I am offering up an explanation as to why some collectors do do this.

 

I do see my dolls as my children, but I do see them as their own little family.
In a way, some people might see their dolls as a substitute for children? I don't know. They are my "babies" but I don't see them as my daughters or sons

 

I have to say I don't really refer to BJDs as I would pets or kids, but I don't have one yet so that is probably why.

 

I don't even have my BJD and I am ALREADY referring to her as "my girl". I said to my boyfriend "I can't wait until I can afford my girl!" and I'm sure once I get her it will only worsen. I am probably pretty high up there on the strange scale.

I refer to my dog like she is my child as well. I suppose I form a strong attachment to things. I'm not going to try to figure out the psychology behind it but you would never know how strange I am by looking at me or meeting me.

Though to me, it isn't strange at all. I find it quite alright to become attached to something. I could argue the opposite because to me it is strange to spend all the time, effort and money on something only to refer to her/him as "it". "Oh, it's just a doll." To me that seems more strange then the way I am. Everyone has a different view of normal I suppose.

On the other hand I have limits. My dog and parrot I will treat like my children and my boyfriend will as well. When talking to my dog or parrot about my boyfriend I refer to him as "daddy" and when he talks to them he refers to me as "mummy". Yes, we talk to them.

I would never consider my doll to be our "baby". Since he shows no interest in her, she will be "mine". My what? I'm not sure. Just mine.

 

I think some of the other people touched on this already.

I don't think of my dolls as my children, or anything of the sort. I don't call them my "daughter" or "son" (though I know that in some cultures, it is appropriate to refer to your dolls as such). But... they're shells of my own characters. I feel really, REALLY REALLY weird if I do things like de-gender them, or refer to them as a thing. I do say things like "Peppermint likes this" or "Dot doesn't do this", and I'm not referring to the dolls physically liking X or not doing Z, but to their characters' habits, who are very much alive within my own imagination. Every time I have to tone down the "creepy" for someone who isn't in the hobby, I feel kinda crappy because referring to my characters as things makes me feel like I'm trivializing them, and not staying true to myself (as these characters are, as someone else said, a part of me). I talk to them for the same reason - not because I actually feel that it's necessary, or that they will answer back, but just because it feels right to talk to some close "friends" (I also, I just like the sound of my own voice I guess, ).

 

I don't think the "my kids" phrasing is a big issue. There's one manga-ka I follow who says his characters are his children; the heroine is his "beloved daughter", etc. It's adorable.

So yeah, these are my characters and if someone thinks it's creepy, they probably shouldn't be in my house looking at my dolls anyway. People like the one friend of my husband's who always says hello to the one doll he likes are welcome anytime though!

 

Omgosh that is really cute. Made me smile

 

When I first joined the hobby I told myself I would never talk about my dolls as if they were real people. I thought it was creepy when people did that... But it didn't take long for me to start referring to my dolls as though they were real people like a lot of other people in the hobby tend to do, lol. I don't talk about them as if they're my children though but I do know people who do that. It was mildly creepy at first but it didn't take long for me to get used to that too. Now I don't even notice it because it's become the norm. Although, I've been trying not to talk like that in front of people not in the hobby. I've done that a few times recently without realizing it and I kind of creeped people out, lol.

 

Creepy, why would you think doll people are creepy? Now the doll folks who the collect the reborns are pretty weird but as for the rest of us, why we're a delight. A lot of general line doll people also name their dolls so I've never found that strange. And while I'm not fond of folks who treat their dolls like children, I do understand the desire to do so. After all, I talk to my cat as though he is human so dolls are just a step away.

Sometimes I do worry about people who treat their dolls as human because I fear they may be too far into their own little world to really make good connections in the real world. But even that I don't find creepy. In general I've found doll people to be grounded enough in real life as to not go there. Plus doll folks are just plain fun. Creepy? I think not.

 

Where did the phrase "creepy doll person" come from anyway? What started that stereotype? I'm interested to find out.
Personally I don't find doll owners or collectors creepy, regardless of doll kind, because they own dolls, but rather because some have outside the hobby vibes/ mannerisms that are creepy. Most are just lovely people speaking doll slang.

 

I have to be honest, some people's dolls creep me right out. Its not my fault and its not an insult or a dis to these doll owners. My brain just says 'NOPE' and then I click away.

On the other hand, I have to remember not to get offended if people find my doll creepy. I guess everyone's 'uncanny valley' is different.

I was really suprised to notice that this lady, who is my moms friend, and is an artistic type of person, looked at pictures of my doll and thought they were super creepy (she told my mom) I think she wasn't used to the idea of a doll who looks like an adult, and she thought her clothes were 'indecent'.

This made me realize that creepy is a very individual perception. I just don't talk or show photos to people who aren't interested, just as I wouldn't talk to people about a movie or a book they have never read. They won't share your enthusiasm.

Apart from that, I think its safe to say people with realistic, life sized baby dolls are always creepy. (The reborns Gwydion is talking about) Sooooooo creepy.

 

I think that, just as in every hobby, it's the "crazies" that people outside the hobby notice. An example I can give is from one of my other hobbies, which is my dog. I have a fairly rare breed so the community is really small and on a "everyone knows everyone"-level. In dog training, my methods are all based on being positive and to encourage the dog instead of correction when he makes a mistake. This is also the case of another person within our breed-community. Only, she's extreme and does not tell her dogs no. Ever. This has lead to her dogs being super stressed (our breed needs to be shown clear lines, have boundaries and be told when to go to bed, since they're hyperactive) and they're quite the pain in the ass. Unfortunately, she's one of those persons that also likes to be seen, so she's actively striving to be in magazines and everywhere on the internet. This has lead to people judging our breed from what they've seen in her dogs, saying they can never relax, they are intolerable, and also that the methods of positive training is useless.

What I meant with the comparison is that I think that it's the "crazies" (however few) that people notice the most, thus judging the rest of the hobbyist by it. Just like it's the extremists in religion people notice the most, and judge the entire religion by.

I don't think that any of my friends, who I haven't told about my dolls to, would see me any different if they were to find out about my involvement in this hobby. Though, should I tell them to google BJDs, they'd probably be freaked out. As am I, at times, when I come across people that see to their dolls as if they have feelings (they're resin, you're as likely to find any sort of feelings in the chair you're sitting on). My dolls do have personalities, and I can say that certain things won't fit them. Dressing them in pink, for instance. But I would never say that it's the doll that refuses to wear pink, since it's an inanimate object. My DOG, however, can refuse to wear a jacket, since he's a living being, having his own thoughts and mind, and can say no to being handled in a way he doesn't like. And the characters that the dolls are can refuse to wear pink, in stories or whatever one uses them for, but it's still up to me to dress them in pink if I like and they won't be moody or angry with me for doing so. Because they're plastic.

But also, as with almost everything, there are different reasons for people being in the hobby. Some to collect, some to play with them, some to love, some to have as substitute for children - and I can honestly say that I respect whatever reason people have to be in the hobby, though I can't say I understand certain aspects of it. Another thing that adds to the "creepiness" of the hobby, I think is that many within the hobby is not only open about their interest, but also flaunting it. If a stamp collector gets a rare stamp, they don't bring it to work or school, or take pictures of himself hugging it and posts it everywhere on the internet - neither does action figure collectors or car collectors or I don't know what else one can collect. Beer bottle caps. But some doll people doesn't mind taking their doll with them everywhere, and introducing them to others by name. Had they introduced them as a stamp collector would have introduced their new stamp ("This is a rare 5c stamp from Whenever with Whoever on and there are only fifteen thousand left of them in the world" // "This is a ball jointed doll. I collect them, and this is a sculpt from a company called An Awesome Doll Company. It's worth about $500 so I would appreciate if you didn't touch its face since it could leave a stain.") it would give people another understanding of the hobby, instead of being introduced to the doll as "This is Girly Name. She looooves cupcakes and I had to take her with me, since her lover hasn't got a head just yet and her brother's lacking eyes at the moment, so she's feeling so alone when I'm not home". Err... Yeah. Adding to this the phenomenon in this hobby to photograph box openings, recording it, and photographing every. little. thing. you buy for your doll or every. little. thing. your doll does... it tends to make doll owners look a bit eccentric and intensive from an outside perspective.

That's why I think this hobby can come across as having "creepy" doll collectors in it anyways ^^

 

Hmm...I don't think people legit think of their dolls as their 'children' in any way.
I guess it's only a matter of how they speak,unsure. Almost all BJD owners I know just would refer to their BJD's in such a manner and I suppose I naturally adapted to that so it doesn't seem creepy to me.However,an overall obsession,that would be creepy.

 

I definitely think it's some of the fanatics and extremists that bring the "crazy" stereotype to doll collecting (and any hobby that's regarded as strange). The people who truly act like (and believe?) their dolls are alive make "outside" people believe that "doll collectors" are maybe not mentally sound. A lot of people in the hobby refer to their dolls as their children but most don't genuinely believe their dolls are alive or have emotion. Most of the time it's a reflection of themselves or the characters that they've created. But for the few who actually do believe their dolls are real and have emotions-they sometimes reflect badly on the community.
Please don't take me wrong, I don't have a problem with anyone collecting for any reasons what-so-ever although there are a few I don't understand.
As for myself, I don't refer to Nova as my daughter but she is my girl. And it makes me feel bad to refer to her as my doll and not just as Nova since that's her name. She isn't alive and doesn't have emotions but she is a reflection of myself to a degree.
A few weeks ago my Fiancee referred to Nova as herself and spoke to her directly. This was the first time ever and since he's not into dolls this made me very happy. I know she couldn't feel happy about it but it acknowledged a passion of mine and made me happy since she is like a small piece of myself.
Edit: Post was wordy and needed grammar fixes.

 

My dad likes my most expensive doll (he doesn't know that, though) and talks to her...the least creepy person you can imagine.

I think people in general think dolls are creepy and that people who collect them are a bit strange!

I don't like reborns - as someone has said - the 'uncanny valley' effect , too close to human, and I don't think the general public really draw any distinction between types of dolls.

 

This hobby is certainly not everyone's cup of tea. But you go into it expecting all kind of different things .
I started collecting because of DD dolls but I have admired many dolls before then . which I found a little bit creepy but admired them at the same time.
It's an individual perception what you consider creepy as there is no categorization in this matter.
I do call my doll daughter but at the same time its only for a bit of fun as others go with it. and I certainly don't talk to her as a real person.
I don't participate in forums asking questions of type :how is your doll feeling today etc. , Whereas it may not be my thing some people enjoy it and I see no harm in it.

 

I encountered a woman at a doll show once, who was carrying around one of those lifelike newborns and tending to it like it was a real baby, and she would not break from this role play and acknowledge it as a doll; people were asking what type of doll it was, and she'd say mental things like "shhh, he's sleeping." This was definitely creepy, even in the context of being at a doll show.

Simply referring to your dolls with gender pronouns seems perfectly normal to me; they are, after all, meant to look like people and most are gendered (even if it's not immediately apparent what gender they are). Even for someone like me, who sees my dolls for the inanimate photo subjects they are, it's natural to refer to them with he/she/him/her pronouns. I just feels weird to call them "it" when they so clearly represent different genders. I also find it perfectly normal to speak of clothing or accessories as if they are owned by the doll, e.g. "that's Owen's coat". It's clear that what is meant is "that clothing fits on or belongs with that doll." Where things become a little unnatural for me is when people make the next illogical (to me) step of attributing the dolls with sentience, by saying something like "Owen loves that coat." That's very different to me than "I love that coat on Owen." I find the former a bit weird, because everyone should know that dolls do not have the capacity to love their own clothing. Expressing one's own preference as if it were the dolls displays a type of dissociation that I normally associate only with people who have toys in their attic in the metaphorical sense.

 

i think a lot of the time, when people talk to and about their dolls (online at least) it's a mild form of role-play
i think of it as similar to wrestling (strange analogy but it's what i like so go with it )
you have the character people see, the dramatic heels or boastful faces. then you have the actual people that act out those personas, who are typically nice and normal guys and gals.
in the doll community, you have people that take on a role of choice when interacting with their "cast" of dolls. be it a parental role, or more of a landlord or employer figure. then you have the actual person, who is just a person that enjoys dolls.

just as there are some wrestlers that will always stay in character when they're at an event, so there will be doll people that stay "in character" at cons.

simplified: the way people act towards their dolls in the community, is probably not similar to how they actually are.